Zvomene Yokubatwa Chibharo
MUNGUVA yaucharava kusvikira kumugumo wepeji rino, mukadzi achave abatwa chibharo kune imwe nzvimbo muUnited States. Achave ari oga uye achatyisidzirwa nechiito chamasimba masimba nechokudzvinyirira chinoitwa nomumwe munhu zvimwe waanoziva. Angarohwa. Angaramba. Iye pasina panikiro anotya kuti achaurawa.
Kubata chibharo ndiwo masimba masimba ari kukura nokukurumidza zvikurusa muUnited States, iyo inotova nomwero yakakwirira zvikurusa yokubatwa chibharo munyika. Mukuwirirana nemishumo yamapurisa, kubata chibharo 16 kunoedzwa, uye vakadzi 10 vanobatwa chibharo awa iri yose. Wedzera kuna ikoko idi rokuti kubatwa chibharo kusingashumwi kungava kwakakwirira nakanopfuura kagumi!
United States haisati iri nyika yoga ine izvi zviverengero zvinotyisa. MuFrance chiverengero chavanyajambwa vakashumwa savakabatwa chibharo chakakwira kusvikira ku 62 muzana pakati pa 1985 na 1990. Kusvikira muna 1990, Canada yakava nemishumo yedenho dzevatano yakapetwa kaviri kusvikira ku 27 000 mumakore matanhatu bedzi. Germany yakashuma denho imwe chete yevatano pavakadzi mumaminiti manomwe ari ose.
Kubatwa chibharo kunokuvadzawo varume vasina mhaka.a Varume “vanotya kugara munzanga umo hafu yechiverengero chavagari vemo vane chikonzero chokuva vasingagutsikani, vanonyumwira, uye vanotya,” yakadaro nyanzvi yokurapa ndangariro Elizabeth Powell. Vangaitwawo vanyajambwa kupfurikidza nokuva vanorarama mukutyira vadzimai vavo, vanamai, hanzvadzi, vanasikana, uye shamwari, kana kuti vanofanira kugonana nokunzwa kwokuva nemhaka nokurwadziwa apo mumwe munhu wavanoda anova nyajambwa wokubatwa chibharo.
Neiko Pane Wedzero?
Kubatwa chibharo kunowanda munzanga dzinoshivirira masimba masimba nokudzvinyirirwa kwavakadzi muvatano. Muchiverengero chakati chenyika, varume navakadzi vanozadzwa kubvira muuhwana namashoko anoparadza uye mashoko asina kururama pamusoro pevatano, kupfurikidza nenhepfenyuro, mhuri, uye vaenzani vavo. Vanodzidza mirangariro yakashata yokuti vatano namasimba masimba zvakabatanidzwa uye kuti vakadzi varipo kuti vagovere gutsikano yevatano kuvarume, pasinei zvapo nezvido zvavakadzi.
Cherekedza chimiro chaJay, munyori wemipakwa wamakore 23 okukura. “Nzanga inotaura kuti unofanira kuva nevatano yakawanda navakadzi vakasiana-siana vakawanda kuti uve murume chaiyeiye,” iye anodaro. “Eya, chii chinoitika kana ukasadaro? Uri murume chaiyeiye here?” Nemhaka yedzvinyiriro iyoyo, kana mukadzi akamuita kuti ashatirwe kana kuti kukangaidzika, angamubata chibharo.
Zvimiro zvamasimba masimba nezvoushushi zvakadaro kuvakadzi zvakarovedzeka mutsika dzinorerekera kukubata chibharo, anodavira kudaro munzveri Linda Ledray. “Zvikurukuru anobata chibharo ari kungozvibata bedzi nenzira iyo nzanga inoraira,” iye anodaro. Mabhaisikopo neterevhizheni zvinobetsera muitiro iwoyo unoparadza wenzanga. Kubata chibharo musoro wakarovedzeka mumabhuku outere, asi mabhuku outere haasati achingova iwo bedzi chisakiso. Nzvero dzakaratidza kuti mafirimu amasimba masimba asina zvine chokuita nevatano anoguma nezvimiro zvakashata zvikuru kuvakadzi kupfuura mafirimu anoratidzira vatano yokusasarura asi asina masimba masimba. Terevhizheni inobatanidzwawo apo “inoratidzira vatano yakakurumbira zvikurusa inowanwa kunzvimbo iri yose,” akadaro Powell. Mashoko anobva kunhepfenyuro anotii? “Apo unenge watsamwa, kuvadza mumwe munhu.”
Mashoko iwayo anoshandiswa muukama hwezuva nezuva, nemiuyo ine ngozi. Munyika iri kuwedzera kushivirira, varume vanowanzonzwa kuti vakadzi vanofanira kuvaripira vatano, zvikuru kana murume akapedzera mari pamukadzi kana kuti iye akaratidzika saanotanga kugamuchira karakadzo dzake dzevatano.
“Pakureva nezvevatano, kutaura kuti ‘aiwa’ kunowanzova kusingashandi apo mashoko acho anotaurwa nomunhukadzi,” akadaro mutori wenhau Robin Warshaw. Uye kazhinji kazhinji zvikuru, kubata chibharo kunova muuyo.
“Kubatwa Chibharo Kwechipiri”
Kathi akanga ane makore 15 okukura apo akabatwa chibharo nemitezo mitatu yeboka romutambo wehockey yapachikoro chake chapamusoro. Apo mhuri yake yakamhangara mhaka yacho, akarambwa nokutukwa neshamwari, vavakidzani, uye vaasingazivi. “Munogona kukarira vakomana kuita savakomana,” mhuri yacho yakaudzwa kudaro. Kuchikoro Kathi akadanwa namazita akashata, uye mashoko okutyisidzira akasiiwa padhurowa rake rokuchengetera zvinhu. Vabati chibharo vake vakarangwa nokudzingwa uye nokuitiswa basa rokushandira nzanga uye vakapfuurira kuva magamba emitambo echikoro. Kathi akarangwa nemwedzi yokutukwa. Pakupedzisira akazviuraya.
Chinoitika chaKathi muenzaniso unosuruvarisa wenzira iyo vanyajambwa vokubatwa chibharo vanowanzokuvadzwa kutanga mumuviri nomubati chibharo, ipapo mundangariro navamwe. Vakadzi vazhinji vanowana kuti zvimiro nemirangariro isina kunaka pamusoro pokubatwa chibharo zvinoguma nokupomerwa mhaka kwanyajambwa nokuda kwemhosva yacho. Shamwari, mhuri, mapurisa, vanachiremba, vatongi, uye magweta—avo vanofanira kuva vachibetsera nyajambwa—vangagoverana mirangariro iyoyo isina kunaka ndokukuvadza nyajambwa zvinodokuva zvikuru sezvakangoita mubati chibharo. Chinetso chokupomera mhaka chakakomba zvikuru zvokuti vamwe vakachidana kuti “kubatwa chibharo kwechipiri.”
Ngano dzokubatwa chibharo dzinoita pfungwa yenhema yechengeteko. Neimwe nzira, kana uchigona kuwana mhaka mukuzvibata kwanyajambwa—akapfeka zvipfeko zvinobata kana kuti akafamba oga usiku kana kuti aida chaizvoizvo kuva nevatano—iwe kana kuti vadiwa vako muchava vakachengeteka kana mufambiro iwoyo ukadziviswa; naizvozvo hausati uchizotongobatwa chibharo. Chimwe chinhu, kuti kubatwa chibharo chiito chisina mufungo chamasimba masimba icho chinogona kuitika kumunhu upi noupi, pasinei zvapo nokuti akapfeka sei, kunotyisa zvikuru kugamuchira.
Mumwe mukadzi, akabatwa chibharo nomumwe munhu waakafunga nezvake se“akaisvonaka, anoremekedzeka,” akateterera, kuti: “Chinhu chakashata zvikurusa chinobvira chaunogona kuita kudavira kuti hakusati kuchizoitika kwauri.”
Ngano Dzokubatwa Chibharo Nezvomene
Inotevera ndemimwe yemirangariro isina kunaka yakadavirwa kwenguva refu pamusoro pokubatwa chibharo inobatira kupomera mhaka nyajambwa uye kukudziridza zvimiro zvendangariro zvinokurudzira vapari vemhaka:
Ngano: Kubatwa chibharo kunoitika bedzi apo mukadzi anodenhwa nomunhu waasingazivi.
Idi: Voruzhinji vavakadzi vanobatwa chibharo vanodenhwa nomumwe munhu wavanoziva uye wavakavimba. Imwe nzvero yakawana kuti 84 muzana yavanyajambwa vaiziva vadenhi vavo uye kuti 57 muzana yokubatwa chibharo yakaitika pamisi yokundovhakacha. Mukadzi mumwe mu 7 vakaroorwa achabatwa chibharo nomurume wake amene.b Kubata chibharo ndichinoitika chinorwadza chamasimba masimba nechendangariro kunyange mudenhi angava asingazivikanwi, mukwanyina, kana kuti wokuvhakacha naye.
Ngano: Kunozongova bedzi kubatwa chibharo pashure kana mukadzi akaratidza ufakazi hwokuramba, zvakadai samavanga.
Idi: Kana vakaramba nokurwisa kana kuti kwete, vakadzi vashomanene vanoratidza ufakazi hunooneka, hwakadai samavanga kana kuti maronda.
Ngano: Nyajambwa wokubatwa chibharo ane rutivi rwokupomerwa kutoti akaramba zvakasimba.
Idi: Kubata chibharo kupfurikidza nokurondedzerwa kunoitika apo manikidziro kana kuti tyisidziro yesimba inoshandiswa kuwana kushushwa kwevatano, zvisinei kuti ndekworudzi rupi, mukurwisana nokuda kwomunhu wacho. Kushandisa simba kwomubati chibharo mukurwisana nanyajambwa asingadi kunomuita mubati chibharo. Nokudaro, nyajambwa wokubatwa chibharo haana mhaka youfeve. Kufanana nanyajambwa wevatano yehama dzokunyama, angamanikidzirwa kutera kuchiito chaasingadi nemhaka yesimba riripo rinoshandiswa paari nomumwe munhu. Apo mukadzi anomanikidzirwa kutera kumubati chibharo murutyo kana kuti mukuvhiringidzwa, hakusati kuchireva kuti anobvumira chiito chacho. Kubvumira kwakavakirwa pachisarudzo chisina tyisidziro uye chakasimba, kwete kutera.
Ngano: Kubata chibharo chiito chechidakadaka.
Idi: Kubata chibharo chiito chamasimba masimba. Varume vanobata chibharo, kwete zvikurukuru nokuda kwevatano, asi kuti vanzwe vane simba pane mumwe munhu.c
Ngano: Mukadzi anogona kunyandura kana kuti kutungamirira murume kupfundo rokuti haasati achakwanisazve kudzora sundo dzake dzevatano.
Idi: Varume vanobata chibharo havana sundo dzevatano dzakasimba zvikuru kupfuura dzine vamwe varume. Panzvimbo pakwo, chikamu chimwe muvatatu chavabati chibharo vose vakanga vasingakwanisi kupedza chiito chevatano. Muzvinoitika zvizhinjisa kubatwa chibharo zviito zvakarongwa, kwete sundo dzinozviitikira. Vose vari vaviri vabati chibharo vasingazivikanwi navanozivikanwa kazhinji kazhinji vanorongera vanyajambwa vavo—vasingazivikanwi kupfurikidza nokuronda nyajambwa kutozosvikira ava oga, anozivikanwa kupfurikidza nokuronga mugariro uyo anova ari oga.
Ngano: Vakadzi vanoreva nhema pamusoro pokubatwa chibharo kuti varume vatsiviwe kana kuti nemhaka yokuti vanonzwa vane mhaka pamusoro pokuva nevatano.
Idi: Mishumo yenhema yokubatwa chibharo inoitika pamwero mumwe chete seyeimwe mhaka ipi neipi yamasimba masimba: 2 muzana. Pane rumwe rutivi, vanzveri vanobvuma kuti kubata chibharo kazhinji zvikuru hakushumwi.
Ngano: Mukadzi anogona “kukumbira” kubatwa chibharo kupfurikidza nokupfeka zvipfeko zvinonyandura, kunwa zvinodhakisa, kuita kuti murume abhadhare ndyiko dzokuvhakacha, kana kuti kuenda kumba kwake.
Idi: Kushandisa tongero yakashata, kuva asina ruzivo kana asingazivi, hakusati kuchireva kuti mukadzi anofanirwa nokubatwa chibharo. Vabati chibharo vane mutoro mukuru nokuda kwokubata chibharo.
[Mashoko Omuzasi]
a Anenge nyajambwa wokubatwa chibharo 1 mu 10 munhurume.
b Kubatwa chibharo muroorano kunoitika apo murume anokurira simba mudzimai wake ndokumumanikidzira vatano. Vamwe varume vangadavira kuti “chiremera” icho muapostora Pauro anotaura kuti murume anacho pamuviri womudzimai wake chakakwana. Zvisinei, Pauro akataurawo kuti “varume vanofanira kuda vakadzi vavo semiviri yavo.” Muapostora Petro anotaura kuti varume vanofanira kupa vadzimai “[rukudzo] muchiti ndiye mudziyo une simba duku kwamuri.” Ikoko hakusiyi nzvimbo yamasimba masimba kana kuti vatano yokumanikidzira.—1 VaKorinte 7:3-5; VaEfeso 5:25, 28, 29; 1 Petro 3:7; VaKorose 3:5, 6; 1 VaTesaronika 4:3-7.
c “Vavariro yemhaka haisati iri chiito che‘vatano’ asi panzvimbo pakwo chiito chevatano ndicho chishandiswa icho mupari wemhaka anoshandisa kuita mhaka yamasimba masimba.”—Wanda Keyes-Robinson, mukuru mukuru webato, Sexual Offense Unit, Baltimore City, Maryland.
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 3]
MuUnited States, 1 muvakadzi 4 vari vose angava nyajambwa wokubatwa chibharo kana wokuedza kubatwa chibharo
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 4]
Kubatwa chibharo kunowanda munzanga dzinoshivirira masimba masimba nokudzvinyirirwa kwavakadzi muvatano