Ukungalaleli Abazali—Ingabe Kuyisibonakaliso Sezinsuku Zokugcina?

“KUKHONA isizukulwane esithuka uyise, esingabusisi unina.” (IzAga 30:11) Lokhu kuchaza kahle lesizukulwane kusukela ngo-1914. Kodwa ingabe intsha kusukela ngalesosikhathi iye yaba ehlukile maqondana nalokhu? Uma kunjalo, kungani?

Izwe Lethu Elishintshayo

Ezikhathini ezidlule, umkhaya wawuyindawo yothando nokondliwa. Kwakungekho kungabaza ngezindima nemithwalo yemfanelo yamalungu omkhaya. Abesilisa babengabondli. Abesifazane abaningi babehlala ekhaya futhi banakekele abantwana nemisebenzi yendlu. Bobabili babefundisa abantwana babo imithetho nezimiso. Ngokuvamile abantwana babematasatasa kakhulu benza imisebenzi yasekhaya ukuze bangahileleki ekugangeni okungathi sína.

Izehlakalo kusukela ekugqashukeni kweMpi Yezwe I ziye zaphelisa lesimo esizothile. Njengoba nje uJesu aprofetha, ikhulu lethu liye laba elezimpi zonya, ukungabi namthetho nokuntuleka kokudla. (Mathewu 24:4-14) Ube yini umphumela? Ushintsho oluqatha endleleni yethu yokuphila. Lesikhathi sokuvakashela izindawo sikhulisa umhosha phakathi kwamalungu omkhaya ahamba ngawodwa. Bekhululwe yimisebenzi yolwazi emisebenzini eminingi yasekhaya enesizungu, abesifazane abaningi benza imisebenzi yasekhaya emamakethe emisebenzi. Othishela nezisebenzi ezinakekela abantwana ziye zamelela abazali. Abantwana balwisana nesizungu njengoba imishini yogesi yenza imisebenzi yasekhaya.

Lentuthuko yamuva iye yakhulisa kakhulu ukucindezeleka komkhaya. Amanani amadivosi aye aphakama ngokushesha. Asevamile namakhaya abazali abangabodwa. Omunye umama oyedwa uthi ngobunzima bokukhulisa umntwana eyedwa: “Ngesikhathi engifika ngaso ekhaya ngivela ehhovisini, abantwana bami basuke bephume esikoleni amahora amathathu ngaphambili. Ayikho indlela engingalandelela ngayo lokho abakwenzayo. Ngineqiniso lokuthi indodakazi yami eneminyaka eyi-16 ubudala ihlanganyela ubulili nomfana oseklasini layo, nokuthi indodana yami eneminyaka eyi-13 ubudala idlala echibini lehholo elisendaweni yakithi njalo ngemva kwesikole.”

Izisulu Zesizukulwane Sobu“Mina”

Mhlawumbe asikho esinye isizukulwane esiye sazikhathaza kangaka “ngamalungelo” omuntu siqu. Ngokwesinye isazi sengqondo esidumile, umphumela walokho ukuthi abazali “kancane kancane baye baqala ukuvumela abantwana babo ukuba baphikisane nabo, bavumela imizwa nemibono yabo, ngisho nokuba bathande ukungalaleli.” Ingabe lokhu kuhle?

Umlobi uRobert Coles owazuza umklomelo wonyaka wokuloba wathi: “Abazali abaningi bayesaba ukukhulisa abantwana babo bona ngokwabo—ngalokho okukholelwa yibo nokuziphatha okuhle abakukholelwayo. Besatshiswa yizo zonke lezazi ezibhala izincwadi ngokukhulisa umntwana futhi zibatshele ukuthi benzeni.” Njengezisulu zemibono yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuyekelela, abazali bazithola bevumela yonke imicabango yabantwana babo—kamuva babhekane neqiniso elishiwo iBhayibheli: “Inceku etotoswayo kwasebuntwaneni iyakuba ngengabongiyo ekugcineni.”—IzAga 29:21, NW.

Imiphumela Yethelevishini

Muva nje iNhlangano Yempilo Yengqondo yakhipha umbiko obanzi onesihloko esithi “IThelevishini Nokuziphatha.” Umbiko wabonisa ukuthi iTV, ngaphandle kokugcwalisa ingqondo ngobudlova obungakhathali nokuziphatha okubi, inezinye izici ezithikameza ukuphila komkhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, “enanini eliphakeme ngokumangalisayo lezibonelo,” isinqumo sokuthi imuphi umdlalo ozobukelwa sishiyelwa kubantwana, labo “ngokuvamile babonakala njengabanqumayo lokho okuzobukwa umkhaya; baye baba abenzi bezinqumo zomkhaya.”

Incwadi iGeneration of Narcissus ithi kukhona omunye umphumela omubi osithekile weTV. Ithi ngenxa yethelevishini “abantwana bahlangabezana nalokho okubizwa ngokuthi izwe loqobo ngephuzu elihlukile lokubheka. Kuyizwe elibonakala libazungezile.” Yebo, kungaba ukuthi umntwana ojwayele ithelevishini ukhulisa umbono wokuphila kobugovu ngokuphelele.

Konke lokhu izici eziye zathikameza ukufaneleka kwemvelo kokuphila komkhaya. Kodwa ingabe intsha ngempela isabela ngokuhlubuka egunyeni lobuzali?

Ukungalaleli—Okusobala Nokufihlakele

‘Ukwanda kokungabi namthetho’ phakathi kwabasha kungesinye sezibonakaliso eziningi ezisobala lezo abanye abasha abadlubulunda ngaso egunyeni lobuzali. (Mathewu 24:12) Ngokwesibonelo, kubikwa ukuthi “obuthathu kobune babo bonke ubugebengu obukhulu eGreat London [eNgilandi] benziwa abantwana besikole.” EUnited States “ukuboshwa kwentsha ngenxa yobugebengu bobudlova . . . kwaphakama ngama-293% phakathi kuka-1960 no-1975; futhi inani selilonke lokuboshwa kwentsha liphakama ngama-10% ngonyaka—ngaphezu kwesilinganiso sabadala ngokuphindwe kabili.” Imibiko evela eShayina ikhuluma ngo“kubulala, ukukhohlisa, ukweba, ukudlwengula, ukuthengisa insangu nokukhuthuza” kwentsha.

Obunye balobudlova obuthusayo buqondiswa ngisho nakubazali. Isazi sezenhlalo yabantu uRichard J. Gelles wasiza ekuqhubeni ukuhlola okwabonisa ukuthi “abasha abangaphezu kwezigidi ezi-2-1/2 [eUnited States] babikwa ukuba bashaye umzali okungenani kanye. Cishe abazali abayizi-900 000 bentsha . . . okungenani bashaywa ngesibhakela, balunywa, bakhahlelwa, bashaywa ngento elukhuni, badukluzwa, basongelwa noma kwasetshenziswa ummese noma isibhamu kubo.” Izenzo ezinjena ezishaqisayo zigcizelela ukubikezela kweBhayibheli kokuthi phakathi nezinsuku zokugcina abantu bazakuba nga“bangenaluthando.” (2 Thimothewu 3:3) Okwakushayisa uvalo, ngempela, isiphetho sokuthi “kungenzeka, kokubili izilinganiso nezibikezelo kwanciphisa iqiniso lobudlova bentsha kubazali.” (Omalukeke abethu).—The Urban & Social Change Review, Umqulu 15, Nombolo 1, 1982.

Ubufebe bungenye yezindlela abasha abamelana ngayo nezifiso zabazali babo. Kokunye ukuhlola kwabasha baseMelika abayizi-160 000, amaphesenti angama-31 abaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-13 neyi-15 ubudala bavuma ukuthi baba nobuhlobo bobulili. Kwabaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-16 neyi-18 ubudala, amaphesenti angama-58 ahlanganyela. Ngokufanayo iJapani ibika ukuthi “ukuvama kokuhlanganyela ebulilini okuhilela amantombazane eve eshumini kuye kwaphakama kakhulu kuleminyaka eyisikhombisa edlule.”

Abanye abeve eshumini basebenzisa uphuzo oludakayo noma imilaliso ngasese. Cishe abangamaphesenti angama-43 bavuma ukuthi bake babhema insangu. Abacwaningi baphetha ngokuthi ukubhema insangu “kungukuchitha isikhathi okuvamile kwabaningi abeve eshumini.” Ingxenye yavuma ukuthi yayingaqamba amanga kubazali bayo uma yayingabuzwa ngokubhema insangu.

Abanye abasha, bekhungathwe abazali abafuna impumelelo kodwa bebanika ukusekela okuncane, bahlubuka ngokuzothile ngokuhluleka ngamabomu esikoleni. Futhi abanye abalalelia ngokunqaba ukuba bathonywe ukulandelela ukuziphatha okuhle kwabazali babo noma izimiso zenkolo. Abasha abangamaphesenti angama-53 kuphela kwabahlolwa bathi babengayilandela inkolo yabazali babo. Abanye bathi babengeke noma babengaqiniseki. Yeka ukuthi lokhu kujabhisa kanjani kubazali! Amaphesenti ayi-17 nje athi afuna iseluleko sabazali babo ngobulili; futhi abambalwa babengacela iseluleko sabazali babo ngemilaliso. Ukuphikisana okunjalo kwemibono kuphendula amakhaya abe izinkundla zokulwa.

Lokho Ongakwenza

Khona-ke kungashiwo ngesibindi ukuthi isizukulwane sethu sihlukile, sikhuliswe ngaphansi kwezimo ezihlukile. Ukuthambekela kwezwe ekungalalelini, kuhlanganise nobunye ubufakazi, kusiholela esiphethweni esingenakubalekelwa sokuthi siphila ezinsukwini zokugcina.

Nokho, oFakazi BakaJehova baye bathola ukuthi isifundo seBhayibheli—hhayi imibono yanamuhla ephambene yokukhulisa umntwana—sibahlomisela ukuba bakwazi ukuphatha izinkinga zanamuhla. Bathola iseluleko esikwabase-Efesu 6:1-4 singokoqobo futhi sisebenza: “Bantwana, lalelani abazali benu eNkosini, ngokuba lokho kulungile. . . . Nani-boyise ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, kodwa nibondle ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.” Khona-ke, oFakazi, bangajabula ukukusiza ukuba uqale isifundo seBhayibheli esihlelekile.

Ngisho noma ungesiye umzali, isifundo seBhayibheli singakuzuzisa kakhulu. Ukuhlolisisa okwengeziwe iZwi likaNkulunkulu kuyokusiza ukuba ujwayelane noNkulunkulu nezinjongo zakhe. Lena yindlela ehlakaniphile, ngoba iBhayibheli liyakhuthaza: “Funani ukulunga; funani ukuthobeka; mhlawumbe niyakusitshekelwa ngosuku lolaka lukaJehova.”—Zefaniya 2:3.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 5]

‘Cishe abazali abayi-900 000 bentsha bashaywa ngesibhakela, balunywa, bakhahlelwa, bashaywa, noma basongelwa noma kwasetshenziswa ummese noma isibhamu kubo’

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 7]

Omunye umama ongayedwa wathi: “Ngesikhathi engifika ngaso ekhaya ngivela ehhovisini, abantwana bami basuke bephume esikoleni amahora amathathu ngaphambili. Ayikho indlela engingalandelela ngayo lokho abakwenzayo.”

[Isithombe ekhasini 6]

Abazali abaye bahlulwa imibono eyekelelayo yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuvamile bagcina benomntwana owuhlupho