Ukugcona—Kuhle Noma Kubi?
KWAKUKHONA umkhaya othile wamaJalimane onabazali nabantwana abahlanu. Izibulo nothunjana kwakungamantombazane, kunabafana abathathu phakathi. Umfana omdala wayekuthanda ukugcona udadewabo omdala owayethulile. Noma nini lapho ezikhalela kunina ngenxa yokuthi wayemhlupha, nanxa unina ayenemfundiso eqinile, ukuphela kwenduduzo ayeyinikeza indodakazi yakhe kwakuwukuyikhumbuza ngesaga sesi Jalimane esithi Was sich liebt, das neckt sich (‘Lowo umuntu amthandayo uyamgcona’). Ngamanye amazwi, ukugcona kusho uthando. Futhi lokho kungaba njalo.
Nokho, kukhona olunye uhlobo lokugcona. Esinye isikhonzi esesikhulile esiwumKristu, lapho sikhuluma nemibhangqwana eshadayo, siyeluleka ngalamazwi: ‘Ningagconani, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabantu. Kungase kubonakale kuwukuhlekisa nje okungenangozi, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi kushiya lowo ogconwayo ezizwa elimele, edumazekile noma enyele.’
Ngokusobala, kukhona ukugcona okuhle nokubi. Lokhu kuyakhanya ngezibonelo ezingenhla nasezincazelweni zegama. Phakathi kwazo kukhona lezi: ‘ukucasula umuntu; ukuhlekisa ngomunye okuhle okunothando; ukwenza ihlaya ngaphandle kokucasula; ukucasula noma ukudina ngamahlaya; ukucela ngokuphikelela; ukubelesela.’ Ngakho-ke kungakhathaliseki noma ukugcona kuhle noma cha, ukuthi kufanele ukwenze noma cha, kuxhomeke ezimweni nasohlotsheni lokugcona.
Lapho Izingane Zigcona
Ngenxa yokungacabangi, izingane eziningi zithambekele ekugconeni noma ekuhlekiseni ngalabo abakhubazekile noma abagogekile ngandlela thile, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokungapheleli kwasekuzalweni noma ngengozi. Noma intsha igcona abanye ngoba bengabohlanga noma isizwe esihlukile. Ngokuvamile, njengasesibonelweni esingenhla, abafana abagconayo, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile banenkani kakhulu kunamantombazane. Kodwa kungaba iphutha ngabazali ukungaluqapheli uhlobo lokugcona futhi bakwenqabele uma kungokohlobo olungalungile noma olubonisa ukuntula umusa.
Ngokuvamile ukugcona kubonisa ukuntula uzwela, ngoba cishe njalo kuhilela ukuhlekisa lapho kubangela ukudumala noma ubuhlungu komunye umuntu. Kanti nokho, abasha nabadala bayathanda ukuphathwa ngenhlonipho efanele, akunjalo? IBhayibheli lisitshela ngokungajabuli kukaNkulunkulu ngentsha egconayo. Ngesinye isikhathi abanye abafana abancane bagcona umprofethi othembekile kaJehova ngokumklolodela njenge“mpandlandini.” Abazange basinde ngalokhu, ngoba amabhere amabili aphuma ehlathini futhi adwengula abangamashumi amane nambili kubo.—2 AmaKhosi 2:23, 24.
Izingane zithambekela kolunye uhlobo lokugcona uma kuvunyelwa abazali bazo. Ziqhubeka zigcona, eqinisweni zibelesela uyise noma unina, isicelo sazo size sivunywe. Nokho, into enjalo ingaba iphutha lomzali ngokufanayo nelontwana. Kanjani? Phela abantwana bangafunda ngokushesha ukuthi akukho lutho olungazuzwa ngokugcona abazali babo ngomzamo wokuguqula izingqondo zabo uma abazali bebezicabangela kahle izindaba base bebambelela ngokugxilile esimisweni esingokomBhalo: “Kepha izwi lenu malibe-ngelokuthi: Yebo, yebo; qhabo, qhabo.”—Mathewu 5:37.
Ukugcona Phakathi Kwabantu Abadala
Amanye amadoda ajabulela ukugcona abafazi bawo noma izihlobo zesifazane noma abantu abajwayelene nawo. Lolu uhlobo lokugcona olwashiwo isikhonzi esesikhulile esichazwe ekuqaleni. Kuyajabulisa kumuntu okwenzayo, futhi kungase kube njalo kwabanye ababukelayo. Kodwa ngokuvamile ukugcona kubangela ubuhlungu obuncane noma ukudumazeka. Ngokusobala abantu abakhonza uNkulunkulu, abaholwa umoya ongcwele kaJehova futhi abaveza izithelo zawo zothando, ukujabula, ukuthula, ukubekezela, ububele, ubumnene nokuzithiba, ngeke babe abangenaluthando ngesikhathi esifanayo, abangenamusa, njalonjalo. (Galathiya 5:22, 23) Bangabagcona futhi babakhohlise kanjani abanye ukuze nje bajabule?—Qhathanisa nezAga 26:18, 19.
Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi kungaba khona ukugcona okuqondile, okwakhayo—lokho okuhambelana nothando lweqiniso. Loluhlobo luyayicabangela imizwa yabanye; lunozwela. Indoda ngomusa ingase imgcone umkayo uma edla amaswidi ngokweqile, imkhumbuze ngenkinga yakhe yokukhuluphala. Ngokuhlekisa nje okuzothile, ingenza iphuzu layo lizwakale kangcono kakhulu kunokukhononda, ukuthetha noma ukugxeka.
Ukugcona Okuntula Ukuziphatha Okuhle
Nokho, kukhona olunye uhlobo lokugcona okungekho okuhle okungashiwo ngakho. Khona-ke ikuphi lokho? Kuwukugcona ngendlela yokudlala ngothando noma ngemizwelo yabanye, njengokudlala, noma ukugqoka nokudlala ngendlela eklanyelwe ukuvusa imizwa yobulili. Ngempela lolu uhlobo olweqile lobugovu, nakuba ngokuvamile lusetshenziswa ngaphandle kokuqaphela okuphelele zonke izinto ezihilelekile.
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi kukhona amadoda amaningi angavumelani nezimiso zeBhayibheli, akujabulelayo ukugconwa ngokobulili ngoba lokhu kulola izifiso zawo zokuziphatha okubi. Kodwa amadoda angamaKristu, azimisele ukuphila ngezimiso ezibekwe eZwini likaNkulunkulu, awakujabuleli ukubekwa esilingweni ngaleyondlela. Okokuqala nje, awakufuni ukuba ngaphansi kwesijeziso noma ukusolwa okusemazwini kaJesu: “Kepha mina ngithi kini: Yilowo nalowo obuka owesifazane, amkhanuke, usephingile naye enhliziyweni yakhe.” (Mathewu 5:28) Ngokungaphezulu, amadoda nabesifazane abakhonza uNkulunkulu, abafuni ukulingwa ukuze bahileleke ebufebeni noma ukuphinga, bayazi ukuthi uJehova ukubheka kanjani ukona okunjalo. “Ukuganana makuhlonishwe yibo bonke, umbhede ungabi-nasisihla,” kusho iZwi likaJehova, “ngokuba izifebe neziphingi uNkulunkulu uyakuzahlulela.”—Heberu 13:4.
Ngakho-ke, kukhona ukugcona okungase kungalimazi futhi ngisho nokwakhayo, ukubonakaliswa kothando. Kodwa okunye ukugcona kubanga ukulimala futhi kungase ngisho kulingele abanye ukuba baziyekelele emizwelweni nasezenzweni ezingezona ezobukristu. Ngakho-ke ingabe uyakuthanda ukugcona abanye? Uma kunjalo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi nakuba ukugcona kungaba kuhle, ngokuvamile kubi.