“Ningagodlelani”

INI? Ubulili, ilungelo lomuntu oshadile lokujabulela ukuhlangana ngobulili nomfazi noma nendoda yakhe engokomthetho. Umyalo uqondiswe endodeni nakumfazi ongumKristu.—1 Kor. 7:5.

Kungani umphostoli uPawulu, ekulobeleni abaseKorinte, akuthola kudingekile ukuphakamisa enjalo indaba yomuntu siqu? Futhi kungani nje nempela, kumelwe ikhathalelwe kangako ngamaKristu namuhla?

AmaKristu aseKorinte uPawulu ayewalobela, cishe ngonyaka ka-55 C.E., ayephila emzini owawuziphethe kabi, kangangokuba igama elithi “ukwenza ubuKorinte” lasetshenziswa njengelisho “ukufeba.”

Kithina, singavuma ukuthi izwe namuhla liziphethe kabi ngokufanayo. Kwabaningi, ukuziphatha okubi kobulili yinto eyamukelekayo. Wonke umuntu ukhangwa ngobulili kuma-TV, emabhayisikobho, ezincwadini nasezikhangisweni. Lokhu kuveza ukucindezeleka okumangalisayo kokuhambisana nezindinganiso ezimbi zokuziphatha zalelizwe.

AmaKristu aphila kulesisimiso sezinto futhi kanjalo angaphansi kokucindezeleka okufanayo. Iqiniso lokuthi amaKristu athile, ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eminingi yokuhamba endleleni yeqiniso, awela ekuziphatheni okubi liwubufakazi bokuthi lokhu kucindezela kungokoqobo ngempela futhi kuyingozi. Nakuba ukucindezela kuvela ngokumelene nawo omabili amaKristu ashadile nangashadile, lapha make sigxilise ukunakekela kwethu ikakhulukazi kulabo abanabangani bomshado, labo uPawulu ayeqondise kubo amazwi akweyo-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:5.

ISIVIKELO

Uma ushadile ungazivikela kanjani—nomngane wakho omthandayo—ekuweleni ogibeni lokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili? Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi uthando lwenu lunamandla kangangokuba lokhu akunakwenzeka neze kunoma ngubani wenu. Kodwa esahlukweni seshumi sencwadi efanayo eya kwabaseKorinte, uPawulu waxwayisa: “Osuka ethi umi, aqaphele ukuba angawi.”—1 Kor. 10:8-12.

Esahlukweni sesikhombisa salencwadi yakhe, uPawulu unikeza lesiseluleko esihle nesiwusizo: “Kepha ngenxa yobufebe akube-yilowo nalowo abe-nowakhe umfazi, nalowo wesifazane abe-neyakhe indoda. Indoda ayinike umfazi okumfaneleyo; nomfazi enze njalo endodeni. Umfazi kanamandla phezu kowakhe umzimba, kodwa yindoda enawo; kanjalo nayo indoda ayinamandla phezu kowayo umzimba, kodwa ngumfazi onawo. Ningagodlelani, kuphela kube-ngokwesikhathi ngokuvumelana.”—1 Kor. 7:2-5.

UPawulu wayekuqaphela, njengoba neningi lethu likuqaphela, ukuthi amandla amakhulu esifiso sobulili angaba yini. Yingakho aqaphela ukuthi inkambo yokungashadi yayingenakulandelwa yibo bonke abantu. Maqondana nabantu abangashadile waloba: “Kepha uma bengenakuzibamba, mabaganane, ngokuba kuhle ukuganana kunokusha.”—1 Kor. 7:9, 37.

Ngisho nemibhangqwana eshadile, isimo sengozi yokuziphatha singaphakama uma omunye wabangani egodlela ashade naye ngonya lokho okumfanele isikhathi esithile, ikakhulukazi uma lokhu kwelulekela emasontweni noma ezinyangeni. Ngenxa ‘yokwanda kobufebe’ nengozi engokobulili engase iphakame uPawulu waluleka imibhangqwana eshadile ukuba ‘ingagodlelani’ ukuhlangana ngokobulili.

“OKUMFANELEYO” OKULINGANISELWE?

‘Kodwa kahle!’ abesifazane abaningi bangase basho. ‘Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi ngibophekile ukuba ngisabele ekufuneni kwendoda yami ukuhlangana ngokobulili noma nini lapho ifuna ukwenze njalo? Kuthiwani uma ngingenawo umuzwa ofanayo? Mhlawumbe ngikhathele ngemva kosuku olunzima, mhlawumbe ngemva kokuwasha izingubo zomkhaya. Noma ifindo lami lingase liphazamise isimo sami noma amandla.’

Ukusabela okunjalo kuvame ngokuqondakalayo ngokwengeziwe kwabesifazane kunakwabesilisa. Ngokuvamile, abesilisa babonakala beshisekela ubulili ngokwengeziwe. Isifiso sabo sobulili sivuswa kalula. Futhi akulula ukuba ukuphazamiseka okuthile kubenze bangabi nasithakazelo sokufuna ukukhululwa ngokobulili. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abesifazane ngokuvamile banozwela ngokwengeziwe, imizwelo yabo ihlelwe kahle ngokwengeziwe. Ngakho-ke, isithakazelo sowesifazane ebulilini singase siqedwe ukukhathalela okuthile, ukuxabana phakathi kwabantwana, umntwana ogulayo noma izwi elihlabayo elivela endodeni yakhe. Futhi, ukusebenza ngokweqile noma umphumela wefindo lakhe lanyanga zonke kungase kwenze ukuhlanganyela ebuhlotsheni bobulili kube ubunzima kunokuba okujabulisayo.—Gen. 31:35; 1 Pet. 3:7.

Amazwi kaPawulu awasho ukuthi owesifazane (noma indoda) kumelwe ihlangane ngokobulili nganoma isiphi isikhathi lapho omunye umngane ethanda ukwenza njalo.

Kukhona esinye iseluleko seBhayibheli amadoda anothando nabafazi okumelwe basisebenzise kulokhu. “Akungabikho ozifunela okwakhe, kodwa akube-yilowo nalowo afunele omunye,” lokhu kuyiseluleko esifanelekile.—1 Kor. 10:24.

Ngokuqinisekile, indoda enothando engumKristu ayinakufuna ngokungabekezeli ‘okuyifaneleyo’ lapho kusobala ukuthi umkayo ukhathele kakhulu noma uyagula. Kumelwe izame ukukhumbula iseluleko somphostoli uPetru emadodeni ukuba ‘ahlale nabo [abafazi] ngokokwazi, njengalokhu owesifazane eyisitsha esibuthakathaka.’ (1 Pet. 3:7) Isimo esihle kanjalo siyosiza indoda ukuba ilinganisele noma iqondise isifiso sayo sobulili ngendlela ehloniphekile nebonisa uthando.

Owesifazane obusiswe ngendoda ecabangela kanjalo ngokuqinisekile uyoyihlonipha ngokwengeziwe futhi ngokuvamile uyoba nomuzwa wokushukumela ekusabeleni ngokuzithandela ngokwengeziwe, azi ukuthi angayethemba ngokugcwele indoda yakhe ukuba ngenothando necabangelayo.

Owesifazane ohlakaniphile nonothando uyaqaphela ukuthi umyeni wakhe unesidingo esingokobulili nelungelo lokuba lesosidingo saneliswe, njengoba nje nendoda kumelwe ngokufanayo inakekele isidingo somkayo. UPawulu ukhumbuza abantu abashadile ngokungathi sína: “Ningagodlelani, kuphela kube-ngokwesikhathi ngokuvumelana.” (1 Kor. 7:5) Kungase kube khona izikhathi lapho umbhangqwana, ngenxa yendaba ethile edinga ukukhathalelwa ngokujulile ngokomoya noma ngokomzwelo, unquma ukuthi ukuhlangana ngokobulili kungaba okungafanelekile okwesikhashana. Kodwa lokhu kumelwe kube “ngokuvumelana” futhi kungadonsi isikhathi eside, ukuze kungabangeli ukucindezeleka okungafanelekile komunye endabeni ‘yokuthiba’ izifiso zabo zobulili.

ISIDINGO SOKUXOXA

“Ukuvumelana” kuhilela ukuxoxa okuhle. Eminye imibhangqwana ijabulela ukuxoxa okuhle ngezinye izinto kodwa kuyantuleka maqondana nezindaba ezingokobulili zomuntu siqu. Ukuqeqesha abantwana, okuhlangenwe nakho noma izithiyo ezithile kungase kuveze ukuntuleka kokuxoxa izindaba ezinjalo nomngane wakho. Lokhu kungaholela ekuxabaneni, ekukhungathekeni nasekucindezelekeni okukhulu ngokomzwelo. Ukuthula komfazi maqondana nendaba ethinta ukusabela kwakhe ngokobulili kungase kuqondwe kabi njengobufakazi bokwala, kube nemiphumela emibi. Noma indoda, ngemva kokugula isikhathi eside, ingase ithole isifiso sokuhlangana ngobulili sinciphile. Ingase izizwe inamahloni okuxoxa lokhu nomkayo. Kodwa uma ingenzi njalo, uyophetha ngokuthini? Uthando lobuKristu luyoshukumisela abangane bomshado ekunqobeni noma ikuphi ukwenqena ukukhuluma obala, ukuxoxa ngasese izindaba ezinjalo, ngombono wokuvula indlela yokusizana ekubeni nobuhlobo obuvamile. Isihluthulelo ekuxoxeni okunjalo siwukukhetha isikhathi esifaneleke kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, kuhle ukuveza indaba lapho amalungu omabili ephumule kahle futhi enethezekile, kunalapho edumazekile noma ukukhathala kungase kuphazamise.—IzAga 25:11.

Kodwa kuthiwani uma kunendingeko yokugwema ukuhlangana ngobulili isikhathi eside? Mhlawumbe udokotela uye wachaza ukuthi ubuhlobo bobulili bungadala ingozi engathi sína empilweni yomunye wabangani. Nalapha futhi, ukuxoxa okuhle kubalulekile. Lapho abangani bobabili besiqonda isimo futhi bebhekana naso ndawonye, kulula kakhulu kunalapho umngani oyedwa ekhathazwa ukwesaba ukukhuluma. Futhi ‘ogodlelwe’ ngesibindi angacela usizo kuJehova lokuhlala emsulwa futhi agcine umbhede womshado ungangcolisiwe. (Heb. 13:4) Ngokusobala, okwalesosikhathi kungaba ubuwula ukuzidalula emathonyeni noma ezimweni ezingalulaza isinqumo sokuhlala emsulwa.

Ngokudabukisayo, abanye abangani baye bagodlelwa okubafanele ngokomshado ngenxa yezinye izizathu. Kwezinye izimo lokho umuntu okumfanele ngokobulili kuye kwasetshenziswa njengesikhali sokulungisa izingxabano, njengendlela ‘yokuba umuntu enze izinto ngendlela yakhe’ noma njengesibonakaliso sokungathokozi noma onganeliseki ngenxa yephutha elithile nangokwehluleka. Kodwa lokho kuphambene neseluleko esihlakaniphile seBhayibheli: “Ilanga malingashoni nisathukuthele. Maniphathane ngobumnene, nihawukelane, nithethelelane.” (Efe.4:26, 32) Uthando ‘alunagqubu’; ‘aluphindiseli okubi ngokubi.’—1 Kor. 13:4, 5; Roma 12:17.

Ukuba nokwenzeka kokukhulelwa nakho kungathinta umzwelo ekuhlanganyeleni ebuhlotsheni bobulili. Emazweni amaningi, ulwazi lwezindlela zokuvimbela inzalo nokusebenzisa izinto ezivimbela inzalo kuthathwa nje kalula. Indoda ewumKristu, ngokuqondiswa unembeza wayo nangokuxoxa nomngane wayo, ingenza isinqumo somuntu siqu ngalokho okumelwe kwenziwe maqondana nalokhu.

Nokho, kwamanye amazwe ulwazi olunjalo lusalinganiselwe futhi nokusebenzisa okokuvimbela inzalo kunzima. Kungaba ikakhulukazi indaba yokukhathalelwa uma kuyisiko ngendoda ukuba ibe uzwilakhe maqondana nokuthi kunini lapho kufanele nalapho kungafanele ukuhlangana ngokobulili nomkayo. Umfazi angase alindelwe ukuba asabele. Kodwa ngisho noma indoda iye yakhuliswa ngemiqondo enjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuthi iyoshintsha lapho isiqaphela izimiso zeBhayibheli. (Efe. 2:3; 4:20-24) Ukucabangela umkayo kuyoyishukumisela ekuqondeni izidingo zakhe, futhi, uma kuswelekile, ukufuna uhlobo lolwazi oluyosiza ukuba iqondise ubuhlobo bayo naye futhi basebenzele imigomo efanayo yomkhaya.

Akukaze ngaphambili kube khona isikhathi lapho amaKristu ayebizelwa ukuba ame eqinile okholweni ‘ngenhlanzeko epheleleyo.’ (1 Thim. 5:2) Ngokwengeziwe kunanini, imibhangqwana eshadile idinga ukusekelana kothando ‘ekusebenzeleni insindiso yayo.’ (Fil. 2:12) Uma uwumKristu oshadile, yiba nothando, ubekezele, ube nomusa kumngane wakho kuzo zonke izinto, kuhlanganisa nobuhlobo benu bobulili. Khumbula ubophekile ukuba unikeze omunye ‘okumfaneleyo.’ “Ningagodlelani,” kodwa yenzani ngokukhathalelana kothando nokucabangela umngane wakho. Ngakho-ke zisize ngokuzivikela ngokwakho nomngane wakho ekucindezeleni kokuziphatha okubi. Okunjalo ukukhathalelana kothando ngokuqinisekile kuyonilethela izibusiso zikaJehova futhi kuyocebisa ukuphila kwenu ndawonye.