Madoda, Bonisani Uthando Lokuzidela
“Madoda, thandani omkenu, njengalokho noKristu ulithandile ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo.”—EFESU 5:25.
1. Kungani ubunhloko bobuKristu bufuna okuningi futhi buvuza?
“UMSHADO! Akukho okunye okufuna okuningi endodeni njengawo!” Yabhala kanjalo imbongi engumNorway uIbsen. Ngenxa yesimiso seBhayibheli sobunhloko, ungase uvume ngenhliziyo yonke. Nokho, uma busetshenziswa ngokufanelekile, ubunhloko bobuKristu bungadala futhi ukuphila kwekhaya okuyisithelo sokuthandana nenhlonipho lapho inhliziyo yakho ithokomala khona. Kodwa, isikhundla sakho esimiswe ngokwaphezulu njengenhloko sihlanganisa ukulandisa okukhudlwana phambi kukaNkulunkulu.—Luka 12:48.
2. Ingabe intokozo ekhaya ingeyomzamo wendoda kuphela?
2 Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi wena njengendoda nguwe kuphela onomthwalo wemfanelo ngenxa yenjabulo ekhaya lakho? Cha, nobabili wena nomkakho nimelwe nizame ukuthuthukisa umoya lapho. (IzAga 14:1) Iqiniso lokuthi okuningi kokulandelayo kusebenza endodeni alisho ukuthi abafazi baphelele. Kodwa kuklanyelwe ukusiza amadoda ukuba aphile ngokwezimfuneko zobunhlobo bobuKristu. Bufanele busetshenziswe kanjani nje ubunhloko? Lena indaba leyo onke amaKristu—ngisho nangashadile—okufanele ayikhanyele.
Thanda Njengoba UKristu Wathanda Ibandla
3. Abase-Efesu 5:25 babuchaza kanjani ubunhloko obufanelekile, futhi kusho ukuthini lokhu?
3 “Madoda thandani omkenu, njengalokhu noKristu ulithandile ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo,” kwabhala umphostoli uPawulu. (Efesu 5:25) Njengoba amadoda enelungelo elingokomBhalo lokwenza izinqumo zokugcina emkhayeni, kungaba lula ngawe ukuvumela ubugovu bungene ngobunyelele. Yiqiniso, eziningi izinqumo zomkhaya ziyizinto lapho ukukhetha komuntu siqu kuthatha indawo ebanzi. Ingabe okuthandwa nguwe kungamandla lapho kungekho simiso seBhayibheli esihilelekile? Phawula ukuthi indoda imelwe ilingise uthando lukaJesu lokuzidela. Wazinikela ngokwakhe ngenxa yabafundi bakhe. “UKristu akazithokozisanga yena.” (Roma 15:3) Ukuzidela kusho ukudela injabulo ethile noma ukudlula ezinkathazweni ezithile noma ebunzimeni ngenxa yenzuzo yomunye.
4. Kungayiphi indlela uJesu abonisa ngayo ukukhathalela kwakhe abafundi bakhe?
4 Isithakazelo sikaJesu esijulile kwakuwukusiza abafundi bakhe ngokomoya. Nakuba eqinile ngenxa yokulunga, wayengenakhahlo lapho abafundi bakhe bebonisa imibono ephambene, noma beqhosha, beba namawala noma beba amagwala. (Mathewu 18:1-3; Luka 22:24-26, 47-51, 59-62) ‘NgeZwi likaNkulunkulu,’ nangesibonelo sakhe, wasiza abafundi bakhe ekunqobeni ubuthakathaka obungathi sína ukuze, njengeqembu, babe‘ngcwele bangabi nacala.’—Efesu 5:26, 27.
5, 6. Indoda ingalulingisa kanjani uthando lukaJesu lokuzidela, futhi kunini lapho lokhu kunzima ngokukhethekile?
5 Ingabe ubonisa olunjalo uthando lokuzidela? Amanye amadoda anomuzwa wokuthi ukulungiselela abafazi bawo ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo kuwumnikelo owanele. Iqiniso, umsebenzi onjalo unzima futhi ufanele waziswe ngokujulile. Nokho ekujuleni kwesibonelo sikaJesu kwakunomzamo wakhe ongaphezi ekunakekeleni izidingo ezingokomoya nezingokomzwelo zabafundi bakhe ngaphandle kwezingokomoya. Emva kwazo zonke izinkathazo zezwe ekunakekeleni ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo imikhaya yawo, amadoda amaningi ngokukhanyayo angase angafuni ukukhandlwa ngokwengqondo ekhaya. Nakuba lesisimo sivamile emikhayeni engazami ukulandela iBhayibheli, ngokudabukisayo ngisho nomunye umfazi ongumKristu wembula: “Indoda yami ayikaze inginikeze isiqondiso. Kwakunezikhathi lapho ngangithulula inhliziyo yami ngenxa yesiqondiso ezintweni ezithile, kodwa ingqondo yakhe yayikwenye indawo.”
6 Uthando lokuzidela luyikhambi. Uma umkakho enenkinga exakayo, kunokuba umvale ngezwi noma ngesimo sobuso loluthando luyokushukumisela ukuba ubonisane naye izinto ngokubekezela. Uyosikhathalela kakhulu isimo sakhe esingokomoya, ukutadisha iBhayibheli nokuhlanganyela naye enkonzweni engcwele. Uyokugwema ukumenza athwale izinqumo ezisindayo lezo ngokufanelekile eziwumthwalo wakho wemfanelo. Uyoqaphela futhi ukuthi unalo ithuba lokuphumula kancane. (Marku 6:31) Isinyathelo esinjalo sokuqala sinikeza umfazi ukuzihlonipha nokulondeka okungokoqobo.
Ukuthoba Ngenhliziyo
7. Ukusebenzisa ubunhloko obulinganiselwe, iyiphi imfanelo edingekayo?
7 Ngokuvamile, amadoda anobunzima ekutholeni ukulinganisela ngobunhloko. Ngezinye izikhathi amanye angazizwa esongelwa ngisho noma umfazi enza ukusikisela noma ngandlela-thile engosolayo. UJesu, isibonelo ngezinhloko ezingamaKristu, wathi: “Ngimnene, ngithobile ngenhliziyo.” (Mathewu 11:29) Intobeko yakhe yayingesikho ukumbuluza, okwakungase kuphele kalula uma othile ehluka kuye.
8, 9. (a) USara wamsolelani uAbrahama, futhi ngani? (b) Kungani uAbrahama engazange amgxeke noma amphendule ngokhahlo?
8 UAbrahama naye wayeyisibonelo sentobeko. Umkakhe, uSara, waphathwa ngokungenanhlonipho isigqilakazi sakhe uHagari. UAbrahama kungase ukuba akasiqaphelanga lesisenzo sokuzidla noma wehluleka ukuthatha isinyathelo masinyane. “Okubi okwenziwe kimi akube-phezu kwakho,” kwasho uSara. “Mina nganikela incekukazi yami esifubeni sakho; kepha nxa isibonile ukuthi ikhulelwe, ngase ngideleleka emehlweni ayo; uJehova makahlulele icala phakathi kwami nawe.”—Genesise 16:5.
9 Yeka ukuthi ngabe lawomazwi ahlaba kanjani! Ngoba uAbrahama wayemthanda ngempela uSara futhi wayengeke afune ukuba aphathwe kabi. Nakuba kungenzeka ukuthi uSara wayenesizathu sokusola uAbrahama ngotaku lwakhe, kungenzeka waba namawala, ngoba waze wakhala nakuNkulunkulu njengokungathi uAbrahama wayengenakulunga. Khona-ke, ingabe uAbrahama wathetha evikela ubunhloko bakhe? Ingabe wamcabangela njengongazithobile? Wayazi ukuthi uSara wayeshiye ikhaya elithokomele eUre futhi iminyaka engaphezu kwe-10 wayeye wahlala emathendeni njengoba ayesabela ekuholeni kukaNkulunkulu. Lokhu kwakuwukuzithoba! Ukusekela kwakhe nokuthobeka, ngokungenabugovu kwamenza wathandeka kuye. (1 Petru 3:5, 6) “Bheka, incekukazi yakho isesandleni sakho,” kwakuyimpendulo yakhe emnene. “Yenza kuyo okufanele emehlweni akho.” (Genesise 16:6) UAbrahama wayethobile ngenhliziyo. Yeka indoda!
10. (a) Indoda ingamlingisa kanjani uAbrahama? (b) Ingabe iyophumelela ngazo zonke izikhathi?
10 Uma umkakho engase akusole ngenxa yenkinga ethile, zama ukusabela njengoba kwenza uAbrahama. Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kuyoba khona izikhathi lapho ushiyeka khona. Kepha lalela, zama ukuzwisisa futhi ulinganise lokho akushoyo. Ngezinye izikhathi ngokuqhuma komzwelo umfazi angase angasho amazwi afanelekile kuphela. Angase abe namawala njengoSara. Zama ukubona ukuthi ningakulungisa kanjani ndawonye.
11. Kungani indoda ingafanele ibheke umkayo njengomuntu we“sigaba esiphansi”?
11 Iqiniso, indoda ingase ibekele umkhaya imithetho ehlukahlukene. (Roma 7:2) Nokho umkakho akayena umntwana noma umuntu we“sigaba esiphansi.” UJehova wathi, “Ngizakumenzela umsizi onjengaye.” (Genesise 2:18) UEva wayezoba sesilinganisweni sika-Adamu ngokuhlakanipha, ofana naye, okwaziyo ngempela ukumsiza ekwenzeni isabelo sakhe saphezulu.
12. (a) Yikuphi okwafezwa uma enye indoda ithuthukisa ukulinganisela kwenhliziyo? (b) Ukulinganisela kuyenza kanjani intokozo emshadweni?
12 Umfazi okhuthele ochazwe kuzAga 31 wayethenjwa yindoda yakhe. Wathenga indawo; watshala ngisho isivini “ngesithelo sezandla zakhe”—akuwona umsebenzi omncane lowo. Ingabe indoda yacunuka, inomuzwa wokuthi ubunhloko bayo babusongelwa? Cha, yamdumisa! (IzA 31 Amavesi 10, 11, 16, 28) Isimo esifanayo singakusiza ukuba ugweme izimpikiswano ezingadingeki. Ngokwesibonelo, enye indoda nomkayo babephikisana njalo. Yavuma ukuthi yayisebenzisa ubunhloko bobu“basi.” Emva kokuzihlola ngokomkhuleko yakuyeka ukuziqhenya kwayo okungafanelekile. Yaqala ukulinganisa ukusikisela kwakhe. Ekugcineni yaze yamvumela nokuba anakekele ezinye zezindaba zemali. Manje ithi: “Wenza umsebenzi omkhulu!” Umfazi uyanezela: “Ngangifuna nje ukwethenjwa. Kuhle ukuzwa ngaphakathi ukuthi indoda yakho iyakwethemba.” Kanjalo izAga 13:10 ziyaxwayisa: “Ngokuziqhenya kuvela ukuxabana kuphela, kepha kwabalulekwayo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” Indoda elinganiselayo, ekuqaphelayo ukungapheleli kwayo, iyathokoza ngamakhono omkayo, ngalokho izibonisa ithobekile ngenhliziyo.—IzAga 11:2.
Bonisa Udumo “Esitsheni Esibuthakathaka”
13. (a) OwokuQala uPetru 3:7 ubonisa ukuthi indoda imelwe yenzeni? (b) Yisiphi isidingo esingokomzwelo esenza owesifazane abe “isitsha esibuthakathaka”?
13 “Madoda,” kwabhala umphostoli uPetru, “hlalani [nabafazi benu] ngokokwazi, njengalokhu owesifazane eyisitsha esibuthakathaka, nibanike udumo.” (1 Petru 3:7) Umelwe ube nolwazi lokwakheka komkakho okungokomzwelo, lokho ngokwesisekelo okwenza acatshangelwe ukuthi isitsha esibuthakathaka. Umfazi kufanele ezwe ukuthi uyathandwa futhi uyigugu endodeni yakhe. Ngaphandle kwalena eyodwa imfuneko—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyiphi impahla yezinto ezibonakalayo anayo—uyozizwa enganelisekile. Umelwe aqiniseke ukuthi indoda yakhe izizwa njengendoda yakudala eyathi kumkayo: “Baningi abafazi abakhutheleyo, kepha wena ubadlula bonke.”—IzAga 31:28, 29.
14. Yini enikeza owesifazane ukulondeka okungokomzwelo?
14 ‘Umkami ufanele azi ukuthi ngiyamthanda. Ngamshada, angimshadanga?’ amanye amadoda angase acabange kanjalo. Abesifazane, nokho, bayezwana nothando olukhangayo. Indoda ethembekile uIsaka wayezwela kulesisidingo. Emva kweminyaka engama-35 yomshado wabonwa ebonisa uthando kumkakhe. (Genesise 26:8) Yenza okufanayo. Ngokunaka okunikezayo, makazi ukuthi inhliziyo yakho inaye, ukuthi kuwe ‘udlula bonke abesifazane.’
15. Ukuba nganakayo kubafazi bawo, amadoda kumelwe alindeni, futhi kungani lokhu kubalulekile?
15 Ukuba ngonaka kangaka kuthatha isikhathi nomcabango. Amanye amadoda akuthola kulula ukuba nganakile kothile obonakala emusha futhi ejabulisa. Lokhu kwenzeka kwaIsrayeli ngesikhathi sikaMalaki. UJehova wathi kulawomadoda ayezifunela okwawo lawo ayekhohlisa abafazi bawo: “Qaphelani umoya wenu.” (Malaki 2:13-16) Yebo, laba babedinga ukuzilinda, baqaphele imizwa yabo. Ngenxa yokuthi singase sisebenze noma sihlale eduze nabanye abesifazane, kumelwe senze okufanayo. Kufuna umzamo wokuqapha nokuziyala ngokwakho ukuvimbela ukuzazisa, isithukuthezi noma ukulangazela okusuka ekuguquleni umoya wakho, imizwa yangaphakathi, ngakumkakho.—Mathewu 5:27-30.
“Okumfaneleyo” Umfazi
16. lyiphi into emshadweni enezinkinga eziningi, futhi ukungabinabugovu kuboniswe kanjani kwaboku-1 Korinte 7:3, 4?
16 Ukuzidela kwakho kudingeka ngokukhethekile ngoku“mfaneleyo” komshado. “Indoda ayinike umfazi okumfaneleyo: nomfazi enze njalo endodeni. Umfazi kanamandla phezu kowakhe umzimba, kodwa yindoda enawo; kanjalo nayo indoda ayinamandla phezu kowayo umzimba, kodwa ngumfazi onawo.” (1 Korinte 7:3, 4) Izinkinga ziyavama kulobubuhlobo obuzwelayo. Ezinye izifundo zokucwaninga ziye zabonisa ukuthi ingxenye eyodwa yayo yonke imibhangqwana iyohlangana nengathi sína inkinga engokobulili esikhathini esithile phakathi nomshado wawo.
17. (a) Yini efanele ihlanganiswe ekunikeni umfazi okumfaneleyo komshado? (b) Omunye umcwaningi uzichaza kanjani izidingo zowesifazane?
17 Amadoda amaningi ngokuvamile alinganisa izidingo zomkawo noma “okumfaneleyo” okungokobulili nokwawo. Ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele uPawulu wabonisa ukuthi oku‘mfaneleyo’ akufanani konke. KumaRoma 13:7 ezinye izikhulu zikahulumeni zifanelwe intela, ezinye inkokhelo, ezinye futhi udumo. Okufaneleyo okudingekayo kuxhomeke kwesiqonde ngqó isidingo noma isicelo somuntu. Mayelana nokumfaneleyo komshado komkakho, kudingeka okwengeziwe kunokuhlangana okungokomzimba. KuThe Family Society and the Individual, umcwaningi uWilliam M. Kephart uyaphawula: “Isimo esingokoqobo sobulili kowesifazane, manje singachazwa kangcono kakhulu ngamazwi othando nothando lobuhlobo . . . Phakathi nezenzo zobulili owesifazane ovamile mhlawumbe unendaba nokuziphatha okukhanukisayo—ukubanjwa, ukuwothwawothwa ngothando, ukwangiwa . . . kubonakala kusemvelweni yabesifazane ukucabanga ngobulili ngezimo zobubele nothando, kunokuba nje intshiseko ehlukile yokomzimba.”
18. Yini engadala ubugovu?
18 Okungokomzwelo ukwakheka komkakho njenge“sitsha esibuthakathaka” kudinga ukuthi ube ngozidelayo futhi ungamane nje ukhathalele ukweneliseka kwakho. Futhi, ukulitshaziswa izinto ezibonisa ubulili kungadala okungafanelekile “ukukhanuka” futhi kuholele ebugovwini, kwenze kube imvama nokungenanhlonipho lokho okufanele kube okuthandekayo. Gwema izinto ezinjalo njengesifo esibhubhisayo. (Kolose 3:5) Kepha ngokubekezela, ngokubonakaliswa kothando lobumnene, nikeza umkakho okumfaneleyo okungcwele.—1 Korinte 10:24.
Ukuzidela Kuthinta Inhliziyo
19. Uma indoda izidela, ingabe umfazi ongumKristu ufanele asizakale ngalokho?
19 Ngokugcizelela okunjena ekuzideleni kwendoda ungase uzizwe ngokuthi, ‘Ngeke yini abafazi basizakale ngalokhu—bephikelela njalo endleleni yabo?’ Akufanele kube njalo! Abafazi abangamaKristu kufanele basabele njengoba ibandla lenza othandweni lokuzidela lukaJesu. UPawulu uyabhala: “Uthando lukaKristu luyasiqhubezela . . . wafela bonke, ukuze abaphilayo bangabe besaziphilela bona.” (2 Korinte 5:14, 15) Ngakho-ke, nomkakho ufanele asabele ngokungenabugovu. Njengoba omunye umfazi ongumKristu othokozayo asho: “Ngiyozikhandla ngendoda yami ukuze siqhubeke sikhonza esabelweni esinzima kakhulu esingokwasezulwini, ngoba ngiyazi ukuthi unesihe ngami.”
20. (a) Ukubheka kuGenesise 3:16 kubonisa kanjani ukuthi kokubili amadoda nabafazi bangaba ngabalinganiseli? (b) Kungani abafazi kufanele bangasheshi ukukhomba amaphutha amadoda abo?
20 Yebo, bafazi, kunesidingo ngasengxenyeni yenu sokungabi nobugovu. Njengoba nje nendoda ingasebenzisa kabi ubunhloko bayo ngokubusa umkayo ngobugovu, kanjalo, futhi, umfazi angase abe nokweqileyo ukunxanela ukunakekela kwendoda yakhe. (Genesise 3:16) Ukulinganisela akulula. Kanye nakho konke okufuneka endodeni yakho, kuhlanganise nemisebenzi yebandla enzima, kumelwe kube khona izikhathi lapho ingase ingakwazi ukwenelisa zonke izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo. “Uma wena-Jehova uqaphela iziphambeko, Nkosi, ngubani ongema na?” kwavuma umhubi. Akekho noyedwa wethu ongema! (IHubo 130:3) Njengoba nje indoda yakho iyolandisa kuJehova, kanjalo nawe. Kepha khona manje amazwi akho okwazisa ngokuhle ekwenzayo kanye nomusa akuyukukhanga nje iso lendoda yakho kepha yona kanye inhliziyo yayo.
Usizo Oluvela Phezulu
21. UNkulunkulu usiza kanjani? Nikeza isibonelo.
21 Ngokusobala, yonke lemithwalo yemfanelo ingase ibonakale iqeda amandla. Kodwa uNkulunkulu uyonisiza “aninike ukuqiniseka emandleni ngoMoya wakhe kumuntu ongaphakathi.” Yiwo lamandla angaphakathi angakwenza ukwazi ukuthwala noma yimuphi umthwalo, ngoba uJehova, ngamandla akhe, angakwazi “ukwenza okukhulu kakhulu kunakho konke esikucelayo nesikuqondayo.” (Efesu 3:16, 20) Omunye umbhangqwana ongamaKristu wahlukana ngenxa yezinkinga. Emva kwesikhathi esithile bahlala phansi ndawonye ukuze baxoxe ngokubuyisana okunokwenzeka. Ukuthethisana kwaqala futhi. Khona-ke indoda yasikisela ukuba bathandaze ndawonye. Badamba. “Lokho kwabonakala kuyinkinga engokoqobo emshadweni wethu,” kwembula indoda. “Sasizama njalo ukulungisa izinkinga zethu ngokwethu esikhundleni sokuletha uJehova kuzo. Futhi akukho lutho olwake lwasebenza. Emva kokuba bebuyelene iminyaka engaphezu kwemihlanu, umfazi wathi: “Kumane nje kubangcono. Njengoba sisebenzisa ngokwengeziwe iqiniso leBhayibheli, sithokoza ngokwengeziwe. Manje sizama ukungenisa uJehova kuzo zonke izici zomshado wethu. Sikujabulela kakhulu ukusebenza ndawonye emsebenzini wokushumayela.”
22, 23. (a) Umshado wobuKristu kumelwe ugxiliswephi? (b) Kungani abafazi abaningi kumelwe batuswe ngokuvela enhliziyweni?
22 Yebo, umshado womKristu kufanele ugxiliswe ebuhlotsheni bakhe noNkulunkulu, hhayi ekuthokoziseni umngane wakhe womshado kuphela. Njengoba uPawulu abhala: “Abanabafazi mababenjengabangenabo.” (1 Korinte 7:29) Ngokusobala, uPawulu wayengatsheli amadoda ukuba angabanaki abafazi bawo. Kumane kufanele ukuthi indoda eshadile ikhathalele ‘ukuthokozisa umkayo.’ (1 Korinte 7:33) Kodwa njengoba indoda iqhubekela phambili ngokomoya futhi ibonisa izimfanelo zendoda enhle kungenzeka imiswe emalungelweni enkonzo ebandleni. Lokhu kuyothatha esinye sesikhathi leso ngesikhathi esidlule eyayisihlanganyela nomkayo, nakuba kungamelwe ibe engalinganiseli. Kepha futhi ngezinye izikhathi angase aqhubeke ngaphandle kokunakekela kwayo okungcwele.
23 Abaningi benu bafazi ngokungengabugovu baye babekezela ezikhathini ezihlukahlukene lapho amadoda enu emelwe anake imisebenzi edingekile yebandla ngesikhathi senu. Ngokuqinisekile nimelwe nituswe! Ukusekela kwenu ngokubekezela kwaziswa ngokujulile ngamadoda enu noJehova. Niyilokho kanye iBhayibheli elikushoyo—“umqhele” emadodeni enu nalowo futhi oletha ‘isisa esivela kuJehova.’—IzAga 12:4; 18:22.
24. Yini okufanele ukuba indoda nomfazi bazame ukuyenza ngamunye?
24 Ngakho-ke, madoda, qhubekani nibonisa uthando lokuzidela. Bafazi, qhubekani nisabela ngokusekela okungenabugovu. Yakhelani umshado wenu ebuhlotsheni benu noNkulunkulu. Futhi kwangathi uBaba omnene angabusisa ngokucebile imizamo yenu!
Ingabe Uyakhumbula?
□ Indoda ‘imthanda kanjani umkayo njengoba noKristu alithanda ibandla’?
□ Indoda ingakulingisa kanjani ukuthobeka ngenhliziyo?
□ Indoda ilubonisa kanjani udumo kumkayo njengesitsha esibuthakathaka?
□ Kufanele kube yini ukusabela kwabafazi ekuzideleni okunjalo?
[Izithombe ekhasini 24]
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