Chisarudzo Chekurambana

“Kana murume wako akafa, vanhu vanokunzwisisa kunyange kana wanga usiri mudzimai akanakisisa. Asi kana murume wako akakusiya—vamwe vanofunga kuti hauna kuedza zvakasimba. Ndapota, ndapota, NDIBETSEREI!”—Muravi weMukai! muSouth Africa.

KUSATENDESEKA nekurambana kunogona kukuvadza zvikuru. Kunyange zvazvo vakawanda vakawana zvikonzero zvekuyanana newavakaroorana naye ndokuchengetedza imba yavo, vamwe vane zvikonzero chaizvo zvekusarudza imwe nzira yakapiwa naMwari yekuramba wawakaroorana naye akaita upombwe. (Mateo 5:32; 19:9) Somuenzaniso, kuchengeteka, kunamata, uye kungogarawo zvakanaka kwemudzimai akatendeseka nevana vake zvingava mungozi. Anganetsekawo pamusoro pekubatwa nechirwere cheunzenza. Kana kuti zvimwe akaregerera murume wake nokuda kwekuita upombwe, asi pane zvidiki-diki zvinoita kuti atarisire kuti kuvimbana kwechokwadi kunogona kudzorerwa uye kuti anogona kupfuurira kugara naye semurume wake.

“Ichi chakanga chiri chisarudzo chakaomesesa cheupenyu hwangu,” akabvuma kudaro mumwe mudzimai akanga achitambura. Zvechokwadi, chisarudzo chakaoma—kwete chete nemhaka yekuti kunyengedza kwacho kunokuvadza asiwo nemhaka yekuti kurambana kune migumisiro inosvika kure ichatapura upenyu hwake hwose. Saka, kuti mudzimai anofanira kurambana nemurume wake asina kutendeseka here kana kuti kwete chisarudzo chemunhu oga. Kodzero inobva muBhaibheri yemurume kana kuti mudzimai asina mhosva yekusarudza izvozvo inofanira kuremekedzwa nevamwe.

Kunyange zvakadaro, zvinosuruvarisa kuti vanhu vakawanda vanomhanyira kurambana pasina kunyatsofungisisa mutengo wacho. (Enzanisa naRuka 14:28.) Ndezvipi zvimwe zvinhu zvinobatanidzwa mukusarudza kurambana?

Kana Paine Vana

“Zvinodiwa zvevana zvinowanzokanganwikwa kana kuti kusambotariswa nevabereki vakanyanyobatikana nematambudziko avo pachavo,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi Couples in Crisis. Saka, pamunofunga nezvekurambana, rambai muchifunga nezveumudzimu nemagariro zvevana venyu. Vaongorori vakawanda vakacherekedza kuti kana kurambana kukaitwa zvine rugare zvikuru, vana vangasanyanyotambura. Kunyange mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma, unyoro huchabetsera munhu ‘kusakakavara, asi kuva munyoro kuvanhu vose, anoramba achizvidzora pakuitirwa zvakaipa.’—2 Timotio 2:24, 25.a

Kana mumwe akasarudza kurambana, zvinofanira kuyeukwa kuti murume nemukadzi—vari kurambana—kwete vana. Vana vachiri kuda vose vari vaviri Mai naBaba. Chokwadi, kungava nemamiriro ezvinhu akanyanyisa, akadai seapo mwana anenge ari mungozi yekutambura kubatwa zvisina kufanira. Asi kusiyana kwechitendero kana kuti kwemunhu oga hakufaniri kushandiswa kudzivisa kubetserwa kwevana nekuva nevabereki vaviri.

Chinofanira kufungwawo nezvacho manzwiro anoita vana asingatani kutapurwa nechinodiwa chavo chekukurudzirwa kwakanaka, rudo, uye chidakadaka. “Rudo urwu runopfuurira,” rinodaro rimwe bhuku, “ruchagovera zvose ruzivo nepekutangira kubata nemamiriro ezvinhu matsva.” Uyewo, kutarisira zvinodiwa zvavo zvemudzimu zvezuva nezuva kunogona kuvabetsera kuzvichengeta vakadzikama.—Dheuteronomio 6:6, 7; Mateo 4:4.

Mari Nematanho Epamutemo

Nenzira isingadzivisiki kurambana kunotorera mumwe nemumwe wevakaroorana chitsama chakati chemari nemidziyo zvimwe zvinotsigira, uye zvimwe musha waidiwa zvikuru. Sezvo mumwe nemumwe angafanira kutarisira zvinoda mari zvakawedzera nemari shomanene, kuchenjera kuronga bhajeti chaiyoiyo maererano nezvinokosha zvinoda mari. Kungonzwa kuda kutsiva kurasikirwa nekurwadziwa mupfungwa nekushandisa mari yakawanda kana kuti kukwereta kunofanira kudziviswa.

Kana kurambana kukasarudzwa, zvinodiwawo kujekeserana newawakaroorana naye kuti maakaundi enyu mose ekubhangi achaitwa sei. Kudzivirira kushandiswa zvisina kufanira kwemari iri muakaundi yenyu mose yekubhangi, somuenzaniso, zvingava kuchenjera kukumbira maneja webhangi kuti akumbire siginicha dzenyu mose muri vaviri pakutora mari kutozosvikira mumwe nemumwe ava neakaundi yake pachake.

Kuchenjerawo kuchengeta zvinyorwa zvakarurama zvemari inotambirwa neinoshandiswa, mukurongedzera kuzotaurirana mari yemendenenzi. Uyewo, munyika dzakawanda mutemo unoda kuti vanhu vazivise zviremera zvemitero nezvemamiriro avo ezvinhu akachinja.

Mukuwedzera, vanhu vakawanda vanobetserwa nekuonana nenyanzvi dzepamutemo—mumwe agara nebasa kwenguva yakati renyaya dzekurambana. Dzimwe nyika dzinobvumira vanasadombo kana kuti vanoyananisa kubetsera vakaroorana kushanda pamwe chete kuti vasvike pakubvumirana zvinogamuchirika nezvine rugare, izvo zvinozosimbiswa nedare remitemo. Zvikurukuru panobatanidzwa vana, vabereki vakawanda vanosarudza kushandisa nyanzvi isina kwayakarerekera. Panzvimbo pekuda kuhwina pasinei nezvinoitika, vabereki vanovavarira kuderedza kukakavadzana nokurwadzisa. Zvimwe zvinhu zvingawanikwa hazvienderani nemari nokutambudza mupfungwa kwazvinoita kuti uzviwane.

Ukama Hwakachinja

“Hatifaniri kurerutsa kunyara nekusava nechokwadi uko vanhu vakawanda vanonzwa pamusoro peshamwari dzavo dzakarambana,” anozivisa kudaro mumwe muongorori. Kunyange kana mudzimai akatendeseka achiita zvinhu maererano nemutemo, tsika, uye kodzero dzeMagwaro, pangava nevamwe vanomuona sanyakukonzera kuputsika kweimba. Maitiro avo angaoneka nekumhoresa zvisina ushamwari kusvika pakutodzivisa kumuona. Zvakatonyanya, ruvengo rwuri pachena runogona kubva kune dzaichimbova shamwari dzapedyo.

Vakawanda havazivi kuti munhu ari kurambana newaakaroorana naye anoda kutsigirwa sei; vangafunga kuti tsamba pfupi kana kuti kadhi zvakakwana. Zvisinei, kakawanda kune shamwari dzino“ratidza kunzwisisa kunodiwa,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi Divorce and Separation, “uye dzichashanya kuzoona kana pane kwaunoda kuperekedzwa, uchida kuti chimwe chinhu chiitwe kana kuti uchingonzwa kuda kutaura.” Zvechokwadi, panguva yakadai muupenyu, munhu anoda “shamwari . . . inonamatira kupfuura hama,” sezvinotaura Bhaibheri.—Zvirevo 18:24.

Kushandira Kupora

Makore gumi nematanhatu varambana, mumwe mai anobvuma kuti: “Pachine nguva dzandinonzwa ndiri ndega zvisingadaviriki—kunyange pandinenge ndiri pakati pevanhu.” Anobata sei nemamiriro ezvinhu acho? “Ndakatanga kuita zvinhu zvekuzvidzivirira nazvo,” anoyeuka kudaro, “nekuzvibatikanisa nebasa, kutarisira mwanakomana wangu, nekuchengetedza imba yangu. Ndakatangawo kupinda misangano yeZvapupu zvaJehovha, ndichikurukura zvandinodavira nevavakidzani vangu, uye kuitira vamwe zvimwe zvinhu. Izvozvo zvakabetsera chaizvo.”

Mimwe misi nenguva zvegore zvingamutsidzira kuyeuka zvinhu zvinorwadza pamwe nepfungwa: zuva rakabuda pachena kusatendeseka kwacho, nguva yakabva murume pamba, musi wakatongwa mhosva yacho. Zviitiko zvinofadza izvo vakaroorana vaiita pamwe chete—zvakadai sekuvhakacha nekuchengeta zuva remuchato gore negore—zvinogona kuva zviitiko zvepfungwa zvakaoma kubata nazvo. “Ndinobata nemazuva iwayo nekuronga kupedza nguva nemhuri yangu kana kuti neshamwari dzangu dzepedyo dzinoziva mamiriro angu ezvinhu,” anodaro Pat. “Tinoita zvinhu zvinobvisa pfungwa dzenguva yakapfuura ndokuyeuchidza zvinhu zvitsva. Asi chinondibetsera zvikuru ukama hwangu naJehovha—kuziva kuti anonzwisisa manzwire andinoita.”

Usaora Mwoyo

Varume kana kuti vakadzi vasina mhosva vanoshandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri ndokusarudza kushandisa kodzero yakapihwa naMwari yekurambana nevavakaroorana navo vakaita upombwe havafaniri kunzwa vaine mhosva kana kuti vachitya kuti vasiyiwa naJehovha. Chiito chekunyengera cheupombwe hwakaitwa newawakaroorana naye—icho chakakonzera “kuchema nokugomera”—ndicho chinovengwa naMwari. (Maraki 2:13-16) Kunyange Jehovha, Mwari we“tsitsi huru,” anoziva kurwadza kwazvinoita kurambwa nemudiwa. (Ruka 1:78, NW; Jeremia 3:1; 31:31, 32) Saka iva nechokwadi chekuti, “Jehovha unoda zvakarurama, haasiyi vatsvene vake.”—Pisarema 37:28.

Zvechokwadi, zvaizova nani zvikuru kudai kusatendeseka mumba nemigumisiro yacho ine ngwavaira zvaigona kugara zvadziviswa. Chakavanzika Chomufarwa Wemhuri,b nhungamiro yemhuri inoshanda, iri kubetsera vanhu vakawanda munyika yose kuvaka dzimba dzinofara nekudzivisa kusatendeseka mumba. Rine zvitsauko pamusoro pekuvaka imba inofara, kurovedza vana, uye kubata nematambudziko evakaroorana. Zvapupu zvaJehovha zvemunharaunda yako kana kuti vabudisi vemagazini ino vachafara kupa mashoko akawanda panyaya iyi.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

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VANA HAVANA KUFANIRWA NEKURAMBANA

Muna 1988 mushakabvu Diana, Mambokadzi wekuWales, akataura kuti muBritain moga, zuva nezuva vana vanosvika ku420 vanoona vabereki vavo vachirambana. Chikamu chimwe muzvitatu chevana ivavo chiri pasi pezera remakore mashanu. Zvinosuruvarisa sezvo vana vakawanda se40 muzana vanotadza kuonana nemumwe wevabereki vavo pashure pekurambana.

Kusiyana nezvinofungwa nevanhu vakawanda, “vana vashomanene vevabereki vakarambana vanofarira kurambana kwacho,” anodaro mumwe munyori anoremekedzwa wezveutano nezvekurapa. “Vana vakawanda zvikuru vanosarudza kuona vabereki vavo vari pamwe chete kunyange kana mamiriro ezvinhu emhuri yacho akaoma.” Kunyange kana vakaroorana vakakakavadzana chaizvo, panguva inobuda pachena kusavimbika, havafaniri kukurumidza kugumisa kuti kurambana kwaizova kuri nani nokuda kwevana. Kuchinja mafungiro avo nemaitiro kungaita kuti zvikwanisike kuti vagare pamwe chete kuti zvinakire mhuri yose.

“Varume vane mararamiro eunzenza,” anodaro munyori Pamela Winfield, “vanofanira kufunga nezvekurwadziwa kunoita vana vavo panoputsika musha semugumisiro weupenzi hwavo.”

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MWARI ANOVENGA KURAMBANA KWOSE HERE?

“Chinhu chaindinetsa zvikuru,” anobvuma kudaro Pat, “yaiva pfungwa yekuti ‘Jehovha anovenga kurambana.’ Chaiva mupfungwa dzangu nguva dzose waiva mubvunzo wekuti, ‘Ndiri kuita zvinofadza Jehovha here?’”

Ngatitarirei mashoko akapoteredza Maraki 2:16 kuti tipindure mubvunzo iwoyo. Munguva yaMaraki varume vakawanda vechiIsraeri vakanga vachiramba vadzimai vavo, sezvinobvira kuti varoore vakadzi, vaduku vechihedheni. Mwari akashora mufambiro uyu weunyengeri. (Maraki 2:13-16) Saka, chinovengwa naMwari kuramba wawakaroorana naye nechikonzero chisingakoshi kuti uwane mumwe. Munhu anoita upombwe neunyengeri uye nokudaro oramba waakaroorana naye kana kuti kumumanikidza kuti arambe aita chivi cheunyengeri, cheruvengo.

Zvisinei, ndima idzi hadzishori kurambana kwose. Izvi zvinogona kusimbiswa nemashoko aJesu ekuti: “Aninani unorasha mukadzi wake, asi nemhaka youpombwe; akawana mumwe, unoita upombwe.” (Mateo 19:9) Pano Jesu akabvuma kuti ufeve chikonzero chinogamuchirwa chekurambana kwepaMagwaro—zvechokwadi, chikonzero chete chinogamuchirwa chinobvumira kuroora kana kuti kuroorwazve. Akaroora kana kuti kuroorwa asina mhosva angasarudza kuregerera waakaroorana naye akatadza. Zvisinei, munhu anosarudza kushandisa mashoko aJesu sechikonzero chekuramba waakaroorana naye akaita upombwe haasi kuita chimwe chinhu chinovengwa naJehovha. Mufambiro weunyengeri wewaakaroorana naye asina kutendeseka unovengwa naMwari.

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Vakadzi vasina mhosva pamwe nevana vavo vanobetserwa nekutsigirwa kwerudo