Kuyanana Kunoita Here?

“Zviri nyore kutanga matanho ekurambana neshungu,” rinodaro rimwe bhuku rinonzi “Couples in Crisis,” “uye nepo panofanira kuva pane dzimba dzakawanda dzichiri nani dzingagona kubudirira kudai matambudziko acho aigadziriswa.”

MASHOKO aya anowirirana nedzidziso yekare yaJesu Kristu pamusoro pekurambana. Kunyange zvazvo akataura kuti zvaibvumirwa kuti murume kana kuti mukadzi asina mhosva arambe nemhaka yekusatendeseka kwewaakaroorana naye, haana kutaura kuti kuita kudaro kwaimanikidzwa. (Mateo 19:3-9) Murume kana kuti mukadzi asina mhosva angave nezvikonzero zvekuedza kuchengeta imba yacho. Nyakuita chakaipa angave achiri kuda mudzimai wake.a Anogona kuva murume anotarisira nababa vakazvipira vanogovera zvinodiwa zvemhuri yavo vachitungamirirwa nehana. Achifunga nezvezvinodiwa zvake nezvevana vake, mukadzi akatendeseka wacho angasarudza kuyanana pane kurambana. Kana zvakadaro, zvii zvinogona kufungwa, uye matambudziko okuvakazve imba anogona kukurirwa sei nokubudirira?

Pakutanga, zvinofanira kutaurwa kuti kurambana kana kuti kuyanana hazvisi nyore. Uyewo, kungoregerera wawakaroorana naye akaita upombwe sezvingabvira hakugadzirisi matambudziko makuru evakaroorana. Kunowanzoda kunyatsozviongorora pachako, kukurukurirana kwepachokwadi, nekushanda nesimba kuti ununure imba. Vakaroorana vanowanzorerutsa nguva nesimba zvinodiwa kuvakazve imba yakaputsika. Kunyange zvakadaro, vakawanda vakatsungirira uye vakava neimba yakatsiga pakupedzisira.

Mibvunzo Yekupindura

Kuti asarudze achiziva, mudzimai akatendeseka anofanira kujekesa manzwiro aanoita nezvaangagona kuita zvose. Angafunga zvinotevera: Murume wacho anoda kudzoka here? Akarega upombwe zvechokwadi here, kana kuti haasi kuita kudaro nekukurumidza? Akambotaura kuti ndine urombo here? Kana zvakadaro, apfidza zvechokwadi, achizvidemba zvechokwadi pamusoro pezvaakaita here? Kana kuti anondipomera mhosva yezvakaipa zvaakaita here? Anozvidemba zvechokwadi nemarwadzo aakaparira here? Kana kuti, panzvimbo pezvo, akangogumbuka kuti upombwe hwake hwakafumurwa ndokumiswa here?

Zvakadini nemunguva yemberi? Akatanga kugadziridza pfungwa nezviito zvakaita kuti aite upombwe hwacho here? Atsunga zvakasimba kusadzokorora chakaipa chacho here? Kana kuti achine tsika yekutamba zverudo nekufambidzana nevanhukadzi zvisina kufanira here? (Mateo 5:27, 28) Anyatsozvipira kuvakazve imba yacho here? Kana zvakadaro, ari kuitei pamusoro pazvo? Mhinduro dzakarurama pamibvunzo iyi dzingava hwaro hwekudavira kuti kuvakazve imba kunoita.

Kukurukurirana Kunokosha

“Pasingaranganwi,” anodaro munyori weBhaibheri, “mano anokona.” (Zvirevo 15:22) Izvi ndizvo zvazvinoita zvechokwadi apo mudzimai asina mhosva anonzwa achida kutaura nemurume wake nezvekusavimbika. Vasingakurukuri havo zvakavanzika zvakadzama, vanogona kukurukurirana nekutendeseka uye nemwoyo wose zvingakwanisa kubudisa chokwadi chezvakaitika ndokubvisa kusanzwisisana. Izvi, zvingabetserawo vakaroorana vacho kudzivisa kusanyatsowirirana semugumisiro wekusanzwisisana nepfunde-pfunde yenguva refu. Sezvinobvumwa, vose vari vaviri murume nemudzimai sezvingabvira vangawana kukurukurirana kwakadaro kuchirwadza. Asi vakawanda vakawana kuti rutivi runokosha rwematanho ekudzorerazve chivimbo.

Rimwe danho rinokosha rekuyanana kunobudirira nderekuedza kuziva nharaunda dzinoparira dambudziko mumba—zvinhu izvo vakaroorana vose vari vaviri vangada kushandira. Zelda West-Meads, anorayira kuti: “Pamunenge manyatsokurukura nezvemamiriro ezvinhu anorwadza, pamunenge masarudza kuti zvechokwadi nyaya yacho yapera, kuti muchiri kuda imba yenyu, tsvakai chakakanganisika ndokumutsidzira imba [yacho].”

Zvimwe manga muchirerutsana. Mabasa emudzimu angave ave achiregeredzwa. Zvimwe makanga musingapedzi nguva yakawanda pamwe chete. Pada hauna kuratidza rudo rwakawanda, chidakadaka, kurumbidza, uye kukudza sezvaidiwa newawakaroorana naye. Kuongororazve vavariro nezvinokosha zvenyu pamwe chete zvichaita zvakawanda kukuwiriranisai uye zvichakubetserai kudzivisa kusatendeseka kwemunguva yemberi.

Kushandira Kukanganwira

Pasinei zvapo nekuedza kwake kwechokwadi, mudzimai akarwadziswa angasazviwana zviri nyore kukanganwira murume wake, kutonyanya mumwe mukadzi wacho. (VaEfeso 4:32) Zvisinei, zvinokwanisika kushanda zvinobudirira kupedza pfunde-pfunde nekutsamwa. “Akatendeseka wacho anofanira kuziva kuti panosvika nguva yavanofanira kuchinja mafungiro,” rinorayira kudaro rimwe bhuku. “Zvinokosha kusaramba uchingotaura nezvezvivi zvekare zvemumwe wako kuti u[mu]range nguva yose pamunenge muchikakavadzana.”

Vanhu vakaroorana vakawanda vakawana kuti kuburikidza nekuedza kuderedza nekubvisa kunzwa vaine pfunde-pfunde yakasimba, pakupedzisira vakarega kunzwa kuvenga nyakuvatadzira. Kuita izvozvo idanho rinokosha mukuvakazve imba.

Dzidza Kuvimbazve Naye

“Tichakwanisa kuvimbanazve here?” mumwe akadaro asina chokwadi uye achinetseka. Zvaimunetsa zvinonzwika nemhaka yekuti kunyengedza kwakaitwa nanyakuita upombwe kwakaparadza—kana kuti zvimwe kwakakuvadza zvakakomba—kuvimbana. Kufanana nevhasi rinokosha, kuvimba nemunhu kuri nyore kuputsika asi kwakaoma kunamazve. Chokwadi ndechekuti panofanira kuva nokuvimbana nekuremekedzana kwete bedzi kuchengetedza kuwanana asi kuti kukure.

Kakawanda izvi zvichabatanidza kudzidza kuvimbazve. Panzvimbo pekungorayira nekusarangarira kuti avimbwe naye, ane mhosva wacho anogona kubetsera kuvakazve chivimbo nekuva akasununguka neakatendeseka zvikuru pane zvaanoita. VaKristu vanokurudzirwa ku‘bvisa nhema ndokutaurirana chokwadi.’ (VaEfeso 4:25) Kuti uvimbwezve newe, ungatanga ku“pa [wawakaroorana naye] ndaza yemafambiro ako chaiwoiwo,” anodaro Zelda West-Meads. “Udza [wawakaroorana naye] kwauri kuenda, pauchadzoka uye iva nechokwadi chekuti uri kwawataura kuti uchave uri.” Kana zvirongwa zvikachinja, ramba uchiita kuti azvizive.

Kunzwa uchizviremekedza kungatora nguva nekuedza kuti ukuvakezve. Murume ane mhosva anogona kubetsera nekuratidza rudo rukuru nokurumbidza—achiudza mudzimai wake kakawanda kuti anomuda uye anomuonga. Mumwe anopa mazano panyaya dzekuroorana anoremekedzwa anorayira kuti: “Murumbidzei nokuda kwezvose zvaanoita.” (Zvirevo 31:31, Today’s English Version) Mudzimai, anogona kushandira kuvakazve kuzvivimba nekuisa pfungwa dzake mune zvakanaka zvaanoita muupenyu hwake.

Zvinotora Nguva

Nemhaka yekukomba kwemarwadzo anokonzerwa nekusavimbika, hazvishamisi kuti papfuura makore akawanda kuyeuka kwakajeka nekunorwadza kunokwanisa kuitika. Zvisinei, kukuvadzwa kwacho zvakunoramba kuchipora, kuzvininipisa, kushivirira, uye kutsungirira kwavose vari vaviri kuchabetsera kuvakazve chivimbo nekuremekedza.—VaRoma 5:3, 4; 1 Petro 3:8, 9.

“Marwadzo akakomba emwedzi mishomanene iyoyo yekutanga haagari kwenguva refu,” rinonyaradza richidaro bhuku rinonzi To Love, Honour and Betray. “Pakupedzisira [iwo] achapfuura . . . Pakupedzisira uchawana kuti unogona kupedza mazuva, mavhiki, mwedzi uye kunyange makore usingambozvifungi.” Sezvaunopfuurira kushandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri mumba mako uye kutsvaka chikomborero chaMwari nenhungamiro, pasina mubvunzo uchawana mugumisiro unonyevenutsa we“rugare rwaMwari runopfuura kunzwisisa kwose.”—VaFiripi 4:4-7, 9.

“Ndichitarira shure,” anoshuma kudaro Pedro, “chiitiko chacho chakachinja nzira yeupenyu hwedu. Tichiri kuda kugadziridza zvishomanene sevanhu vakaroorana panguva nenguva. Asi takapukunyuka muedzo wacho. Tichakaroorana. Uye tiri kufara.”

Asi zvakadini kana mukadzi asina mhosva akashaiwa zvikonzero zvekuregerera murume asina kutendeseka? Kana kuti zvakadini kana akaregerera murume wake (kusvika pakusava nepfunde-pfunde) nepo nekuda kwezvikonzero zvakanaka akasarudza kuzvibetsera pachake negadziriro inobvumirwa neBhaibheri yekurambana?b Kurambana kunogona kurayirei kune mumwe nemumwe? Tinokukumbira kuti ufunge nezvezvinhu zvinobatanidzwa mukurambana, pamwe chete nekuti vamwe vakazviita sei.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Bhokisi riri papeji 6]

KUTSIGIRA KUNE CHINANGWA

Uchifunga nezvezvinhu zvakawanda zvinogona kufungwa, zvingava zvinobetsera kutsvaka kubetserwa neanopa mazano agara nebasa uye asina kwaakarerekera. Zvapupu zvaJehovha, semuenzaniso, zvine mukana wekuenda kuvakuru veungano vane mutsa nengoni.—Jakobho 5:13-15.

Zvinopa mazano, shamwari, uye hama dzinokurudzirwa kusasimbisa zvavanofunga semunhu oga kana kuti kutsigira kana kuti kushora kurambana kwakavakirwa paMagwaro kana kuti kuyanana. Mumwe mukadzi wechiKristu akarambana nemurume anokurudzira kuti: “Chingotsigirai zvikuru, uye regai tizvifungire pachedu zvekuita.”

Zano rinofanira kuva rakavakirwa zvakasimba paBhaibheri. “Musavaudza kuti vanofanira kunzwa kana kuti kusanzwa sei,” anokurudzira kudaro mumwe wevakarambana. “Panzvimbo pezvo, regai vataure zviri mumwoyo yavo.” Ngoni, rudo rwehama, uye tsitsi zvichabetsera kuporesa kukuvadzwa kukuru kwakaparirwa nekunyengedzwa newawakaroorana naye. (1 Petro 3:8) Mumwe anopa mazano agara nebasa akati: “Mumwe uriko unotaura nokusarangarira zvinobaya somunondo; asi rurimi rwowakachenjera runoporesa.”—Zvirevo 12:18.

“Ndaida kunzwisiswa, shoko rinonyaradza, uye kukurudzirwa,” anoyeuka kudaro mumwe murume akatendeseka. “Uye mudzimai wangu aishuva nhungamiro yakajeka nekurumbidzwa nokuda kwezvaaiedza kuita—kutsigira kwakajeka uko kwaigona kumubetsera kupfuurira.”

Kana pashure pekurangarira nekungwarira uye nekunyengetera munhu akasarudza kurambana kana kuti kuparadzana nezvikonzero zviri muMagwaro, zano harifaniri kupiwa nenzira ipi neipi inoita kuti munhu wacho anzwe aine mhosva. Panzvimbo pezvo, munhu wacho anogona kubetserwa kukurira pfungwa dzisina kunaka dzekunzwa aine mhosva.

“Kana uchida kunyatsonyaradza,” akadaro mumwe akasangana nazvo, “usambofa wakanganwa manzwiro akadzama emunhu anobatanidzwa.”

[Bhokisi riri papeji 7]

CHINOITA KUTI VAMWE VAGARE PAMWE CHETE

Munzanga dzakawanda, mune vadzimai vasina chimwe chisarudzo chavangaita kunze kwekugara nemurume anoita upombwe asingapfidzi. Somuenzaniso, vamwe vadzimai vechiKristu vanorarama munzvimbo dzakasakadzwa nehondo kana kuti dzine mari yakaderera vakagara nemurume asina kutendeseka uyo anopfuurira kutarisira mhuri yake mune zvimwe zvinhu, kunyange zvazvo angasava hake mutendi. Somugumisiro, vane musha, kudzivirirwa kunodiwa, mari yakagadzikana, uye kugadzikana kwakati kwekuva nemurume mumba—kunyange zvazvo angave asina kutendeseka. Vakarangarira kuti kugara, kunyange zvazvo kusingashuviwi kana kuti kusiri nyore, kwakavagonesa—mumamiriro avo ezvinhu zvikurukuru—kutarisira upenyu hwavo zviri nani kupfuura kudai vaizozvitamburira voga.

Vatsungirira mamiriro ezvinhu akadaro—dzimwe nguva kwemakore akawanda—vamwe vevadzimai ava vakava nechikomborero chinofadza chekuona varume vavo vachichinja mararamiro avo pakupedzisira ndokuva varume vechiKristu vakatendeseka nevane rudo.—Enzanisa na1 VaKorinte 7:12-16.

Saka, avo vanosarudza kuramba vaine wavakaroorana naye—kunyange zvazvo asingapfidzi—havafaniri kutsoropodzwa. Vakatoita chisarudzo chakaoma uye vanofanira kubetserwa chaizvo nekutsigirwa sezvavanoda.

[Bhokisi riri papeji 8]

IMHOSVA YAANI?

Sezvinobvumwa, mune zvimwe zviitiko kusakwana kwemukadzi asina mhosva kungave kwakakonzera kuputsika kweukama, nepo Bhaibheri rinotaura kuti “munhu mumwe nomumwe unoidzwa kana achikwehwa nokuchiva kwake achinyengerwa. Zvino kuchiva, kana kwarema, kunozvara zvivi; nezvivi, kana zvakura, zvinobereka rufu.” (Jakobho 1:14, 15) Kunyange zvazvo pangava nezvinhu zvinokonzera zvakasiyana-siyana, “kuchiva” kwemunhu ndiko kunonyanyokonzera kuti murume aite upombwe. Kana mhosho dzewawakaroorana naye dzichikonzera matambudziko mumba, kuita upombwe zvechokwadi haisi nzira yekuzvigadzirisa.—VaHebheru 13:4.

Panzvimbo pezvo, matambudziko emumba anogona kugadziriswa apo vose vari vaviri murume nemudzimai vanotsungirira kushandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri. Izvi zvinobatanidza kuti “muitirane mwoyo murefu, muchikanganwirana.” Vanofanirawo kupfuurira kuratidza mavara akadai se“mwoyo une tsitsi, nomwoyo munyoro, nokusazvikudza, nounyoro, nomwoyo murefu.” Zvinokosha zvikuru, [ivo] vanofanira ku“fuka . . . rudo, ndicho chisungo chinokwanisa.”—VaKorose 3:12-15.

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 7]

Kunyatsoteererana kunogona kubetsera vanhu vakaroorana kuvakazve imba