Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .
Ndinogona Sei Kukurira Rufu Rwababa?
“Baba vangu vakafira pamubhedha. Ndakavawana ipapo. Vakanga vane hosha yomwoyo. Kwakanga kuchityisa chaizvoizvo nemhaka yokuti ndakanga ndine ukama hwapedyo zvikuru navo. . . . Amai vangu vachiri vanochema usiku. Hakunzwiki kuva kwakafanana kuita zvinhu pasina baba vangu.”—Emily.
“RUFU rwomubereki kana kuti mutezo wemhuri wapedyo ikuvadziko huru nokuda kwomuyaruki,” anodaro munyori Kathleen McCoy. “Anganzwa aparadzwa kwechinguvana nenhamo, kuva nemhaka, kutyiswa nehasha.” Kana wakarasikirwa nomubereki, ipapo unosanoziva marwadzire akunogona kuva.
Kunongova kwomuzvarirwo, kunyanguvezvo, kunzwa wabatwa muchamupupuri chemirangariro apo mumwe munhu watinoda anofa. Bhaibheri rinotaura kuti apo tateguru Jakobho akaudzwa kuti mwanakomana wake Josefa akanga afa, “akabvarura nguo dzake,” mukunyanduka kwenhamo. Uye nepo “vanakomana vake vose navakunda vake vose vakasimuka vakamunyaradza; asi wakaramba kunyaradzwa.” (Genesi 37:34, 35) Unganzwa nomutoo wakafanana kuti marwadzo acho makuru zvikuru zvokuti haasati achizotongopera.
Nokupfuura kwenguva, anogona. Asi chinokosha kutarisana, panzvimbo pokuedza kufuratira, marwadzo ako. John muduku, somuenzaniso, haana kuratidzira zviratidzo zvokunze zvokuti akanga achitambura rufu rwomutezo wemhuri. Zvisinei, akatanga kupinda mukurwa muchikoro. John akatsanangura, kuti: “Ndiri kufamba-famba nebundu guru, rinorwadza mukati mangu. Ndakaedza kuribvisa kupfurikidza nokurwa asi hazvina kushanda.”
Dzimwe pwere dzinoedza kudzivisa marwadzo kupfurikidza nokubatanidzwa muchamupupuri chemibato. Apo vamwe vanodzibvunza nezvegarikano yadzo, dzimwe dzingadzivisa kubvunza kwakadaro kupfurikidza nokuratidzira kufara kwokunyepedzera. Kuita kudaro kungabvisa kunzwa kunorwadza kwechinguvana, asi kwete kwenguva yakareba. Zvirevo 14:13, inoti: “Kunyange munhu angaseka hake, mwoyo ungava neshungu.”
Nomutoo unofadza, nyaya iri mumagazini yakarerekera kupwere inoti: “Mufundo imwe chete, vechiduku avo vakanga vadzvinyirira kunzwa kwavo kwomuzvarirwo kwenhamo, hasha kana kuti kuva nemhaka pashure porufu rwehama yokunyama . . . vakaratidzwa kuva nokuitika kwakakwirira kwokubatanidzwa mumufambiro unoparadza, wakadai sokushandisa zvisina kufanira mirimo nechinwiwa chinodhakisa, kuzvipinza mungozi (kwakadai sokutyaira motokari pamwero yakakwirira) nomufambiro wokusindimara.” Sezvineiwo, pane nzira dziri nani dzokugonana nenhamo.
“Nguva Yokuchema”
Muparidzi 7:2 inoti: “Zviri nani kuenda kuimba yokuchema, pakuenda kuimba yomutambo; nokuti ndiwo mugumo wavanhu vose; munhu mupenyu uchazvirangarira pamwoyo pake.” Rufu runogona kuva runotyisa. Uye apo shamwari kana mudikani anofa, vamwe vangaedza kunzvenga zvokwadi inorwadza yorufu kupfurikidza nokuenda ku“imba yomutambo” nokupinda mukufara. Soromoni, zvisinei, anokurudzira kutarisana norufu pasina kuedza kurunzvenga uye kuenda “kuimba yamariro.” Soromoni anowedzera, kuti: “Rusuruvaro ruri nani pane kuseka: nokuti norusuruvaro rwechiso mwoyo unofadzwa.”—Muparidzi 7:3, King James Version.
Kunyange zvazvo iri zano rakanga rakanangidzirwa zvikurukuru kushamwari nemhuri dzeakafirwa, rinobetserawo nokuda kweakafirwa kutarisana namarwadzo okurasikirwa kwake. Pane “nguva yokuchema.” (Muparidzi 3:4) Varume navakadzi vanotya Mwari munguva dzeBhaibheri nokudaro vakazvibvumira vamene kutaura, panzvimbo pokudzvinyirira, kunzwa kwavo kwenhamo.—Enzanisa naGenesi 23:2; 2 Samueri 1:11, 12.
Kuzvibvumira umene kutambura kune betsero zhinji. Bhuku rinonzi The Art of Condolence rinoti: “Vakafirwa vanofanira kubvumira marwadzo nenhamo zvokutambura kwavo kuti zviitike. Kupora kunodzongonyedzwa nokudzivisa muitiro wacho.” Vasundwa negamuchidzanwa rokuti murume chaiyeiye haachemi, zvisinei, vamwe vakomana vangakuwana kwakaoma zvikurukuru kutaura kunzwa kwavo. Asi munhu mukurusa ati amborarama “akachema” pachena apo shamwari yake Razaro yakafa. (Johane 11:35) Uye misodzi yakakodzera zvamazvirokwazvo apo munhu anenge arasikirwa nomubereki. Naizvozvo inzwa wakasununguka kurira nokuchema. (Enzanisa Jakobho 4:9.) Bhuku rinonzi Death and Grief in the Family rinoti: “Kuchema ndeimwe yenzira dzinokosha zvikuru dzokukurira nadzo rusuruvaro.”
Kushanda Kukurira Rusuruvaro Rwako
Munguva dzeBhaibheri, Mambo Dhavhidhi akaratidzira nhamo yake nokuda kweshamwari yake yapamwoyo, Jonatani, kwete bedzi kupfurikidza nokuchema asiwo kupfurikidza nokunyora kunzwa kwake. “Ndinotambudzika kwazvo pamusoro pako, munun’una wangu Jonatani; wakanga uchindifadza kwazvo,” akanyora kudaro Dhavhidhi mukuchema kwake kwakaisvonaka uko akadana kuti “Rwiyo . . . Rwouta.”—2 Samueri 1:18, 26.
Nenzira yakafanana ungakuwana kuchibetsera kunyora kunzwa kwako. Bhuku rinonzi Giving Sorrow Words rinoti: “Kunyora kunzwa kwako kunogona kubetsera mukubudisa kunzwa kwako kwakachengetwa mukati. . . . Apo unoshatirwa, apo unonzwa wakasuruvara, zvinyore.” Mumwe musikana wechiduku anonzi Shannon anoti: “Ndakachengeta dhayari. Ndakanyora kunzwa kwangu kwose. Ndakanyora kunzwa kwangu kwose pasina kuvanza chinhu chipi nechipi papepa. Chinhu chiri chose chandainzwa chakanga chakanyorwa uye ikoko kwakabetsera zvikuru . . . kunyora chinhu chiri chose.”
Imwe yamuro kurovedza muviri. “Kurovedza muviri kunobatsira,” rinodaro Bhaibheri. (1 Timotio 4:8) Uye rimwe bhuku rinoti pamusoro pokutambura: “Kurovedza inzira yakanaka yokubudisa nayo simba.” Kumhanya kunosimbaradza, kufamba kwokukurumidza, kana kuti kutasva bhasikoro kunozorodza zvinogona kuita zvakawanda kukubetsera kubudisa nyanduko idzo dzinogona kuumbika kana wakasuruvara uye uchitambura.
Taura Nomumwe Munhu
Ngwarira, kunyanguvezvo, kuti hauzviparadzanisi umene chose chose navamwe. (Zvirevo 18:1) Zvirevo 12:25, inoti: “Kutambudzika pamwoyo womunhu kunouremedza; asi shoko nyoro rinoufadza.” Munhu ari kutambura angawana sei “shoko nyoro” iroro rekurudziro? Kana bedzi akataura nomumwe munhu ndokutaura “kutambudzika [kwa]pamwoyo wake.” Kuregererei kuita kudaro umene? Taura nokusununguka uye taura nomumwe munhu waunovimba.
Kazhinji kazhinji, mubereki wako anotya Mwari angava akakodzera kusvika. Asi zvakadiniko kana akakurirwa namarwadzo ake amene zvokusagona kuva webetsero huru? Eya, pane mitezo yakakura mumudzimu yeungano yechiKristu iyo inogona kubetsera. Zvirevo 17:17 inoti: “Shamwari inoda nguva dzose; hama inoberekerwa kuti ibatsire pakutambudzika.” Pashure porufu rwaamai vake, Morfydd muduku akatsamira zvikuru paungano yomunzvimbomo yeZvapupu zvaJehovha. “Vakuru vose vakanga vachitsigira zvikuru,” anoyeuka kudaro, “asi mumwe chete zvikurukuru akanga akagadzirira nguva dzose kunditeerera.”
Kuregererei kuita nhamburiko kukumbira betsero netsigiro zvakadaro? Ita kuti mumwe munhu azive kuti unoda kutaura. Zvichida unonzwa wakashatirwa, uchitya, kana kuti kuva nemhaka. Kana kuti zvimwe unongonzwa uri woga nokushuva mubereki wako. Kutaura kunzwa kwako nomuteereri anonzwira tsitsi kunogona kubetsera chaizvoizvo.
Kutsigira Mubereki Wako
Dzimwe pwere, zvisinei, dzinowedzera kunhamo yadzo kupfurikidza nokutora mitoro yadzisina kugadzirira kutakura. Mugariro pamba ungaratidzika zvino sowakanyongana nousina kurongeka. Mubereki wako asara angava akaoma nomutoo unonzwisisika, anotsamwiswa—naakasuruvara. Uchiona marwadzo ake, unoda kubetsera nomutoo womuzvarirwo. Chimwe chiremera pamusoro penhamo chinotaura kuti “vayaruki . . . vangadzvinyirira kuchema kwavo mukuedza kwakanangidzirwa pasati paripo kubetsera vabereki vavo.” Vanga“ita sa‘akura,’ nguva isati yasvika zvichida kunyange kutora mitoro yokuwedzera.”
Chokwadika, ungasava nechisarudzo asi kutora mimwe mitoro yomuraudzo nemhaka yorufu rwomubereki wako. Asi ikoku hakukuiti musoro wemhuri. Mubereki wako asara achiri kutarisira, uye unogona kubetsera iyeyo zviri nani, kwete kupfurikidza nokutora udzori, asi kupfurikidza nokuva anobatira pamwe naanoteerera. (VaEfeso 6:1) Yeuka kuti “uchenjeri huri kuna vanozvininipisa.” (Zvirevo 11:2) Kuva nomwero kunobatanidza kuziva ganhuriro dzako.
Ikoku kunokosha zvikurukuru kuchengeta mundangariro kana mubereki wako asara akavamba kutsamira pauri nokuda kwezano kana kuti akavamba kukuremedza neitiro hanya dzoukuru. Unoda kuva ane mutsa neanotsigira, asi kuva nomwero kuchakubetsera kuziva kuti ruzivo rwako rwokuzviwanira rwoupenyu rwakaganhurirwa zvikuru. (Enzanisa naVaHebheru 5:14.) Naizvozvo kana ukavamba kunzwa kuti kurirwei, taura nhau nomubereki wako mumutoo wakajeka asi wokuremekedza. (Zvirevo 15:22) Zvichida ungakarakadza kuti atsvake tsigiro youkuru muungano.
Kugonana norufu rwomubereki hakusi zvamazvirokwazvo nyore. Asi vimbiswa kuti, pashure penguva yakati, kunzwa kworusuruvaro hakusati kuchizodzorazve. (Enzanisa naGenesi 24:67.) Yeuko dzorusuruvaro dzomubereki wako akafa dzichauya nguva dzose kundangariro yako nguva nenguva. Bva unewo yeuko zhinji dzokuonga nedzinonyaradza dzokufunga pamusoro padzo. Usatongokanganwa kuti Jehovha anoitira hanya uye anonzwisisa rusuruvaro rwako. Apo unonzwa uri woga uye wasiyiwa, funga nezvamashoko owezvamapisarema, anoti: “Nokuti baba vangu namai vangu vakandirasha, asi Jehovha uchandigamuchira.”—Pisarema 27:10.
Ramba uchifungisisawo, nezvetariro yakavakirwa paBhaibheri yorumuko nekariro yokuona mubereki wako zvakare—paparadhiso yapasi. (Ruka 23:43; Mabasa 24:15) Kim muduku uyo akarasikirwa nababa vake murufu anoti: “Ndinofunga pamusoro pababa vangu zuva riri rose. Asi ndinoziva kuti vaisazoda kuti tirege kana kuti kuregera chimwe chinhu chichimisa basa redu kuna Jehovha. Ndinoda kuvamo kuti ndivakwazise apo vanodzoka murumuko.”—Johane 5:28, 29.
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 30]
Kuzvibvumira umene kuchema kunogona kuyamura muitiro wokupora