Kucherekedza Zviratidzo Zvedzvinyiriro Mumwana Wako

“Kunzwa kwedzvinyiriro hakusati kuchiwanzova kusina chisakiso chakati: Kunowanzova kuita kuzvinoitika zvakati kana kuti migariro.”—Dr. Lilian G. Katz.

KUBHURURUTSA ndege usiku hwakasviba, hune mhute, muchairi wendege anogona sei kuona kwaari kuenda? Kubvira pakusimuka kusvikira pakumhara, anotsamira pazviratidzo. Inopfuura zvikuru midziyo ine zana iri muzvikamu zviri munzvimbo inogarwa nomuchairi wendege huru, mumwe nomumwe uchipa mashoko anokosha uye uchisvinudzira muchairi wendege kuzvinetso zvinobvira.

Kukurira munyika yedu izerwe nedzvinyiriro kwakafanana nokubhururuka nomudutu guru. Vabereki vanogona sei kuchengeta kubhururuka kwakanaka kubvira paucheche kusvikira kuukuru? Vana vakawanda zvavasingatauri pamusoro pedzvinyiriro dzavo, vabereki vanofanira kucherekedza zviratidzo.

Muviri “Unotaura”

Dzvinyiriro yomwana inowanzokurukurwa kupfurikidza nomuviri. Kuita kwezvirwere zvepsychosomatic, kubatanidza zvinetso zvomudumbu, kutemwa nomusoro, runeto, kushaiwa hope, uye zvinetso zvokubudisa tsvina, zvingava zviratidzo zvokuti chimwe chinhu hachina kururama.a

Kurasikirwa nokunzwa kwaSharon kwakanga kuri mugumo wenhambo youkata hukurusa. Apo Amy akaenda kuchikoro, kurwadziwa mudumbu kwake kwakaparirwa norutyo rwokuparadzana naamai vake. Kupatira kwaJohn kwakaparirwa nokusagadzikana kwokuona kurwa kwamasimba masimba pakati pavabereki vake.

Kubatwa zvisina kufanira muvatano kwakava nemiuyo yomuviri kuna Ashley wamakore gumi okukura. “Ndinoyeuka ndisingaendi kuchikoro kwevhiki [pashure pokubatwa chibharo] nokuti ndakanga ndichirwara,” anoyeuka kudaro. Bhuku rinonzi When Your Child Has Been Molested rinotsanangura, kuti: “Mutoro wokuva akatambura kubatwa zvisina kufanira unogona kudzvinyirira mwana mukuva asina utano hwakanaka.” Pakati pezviratidzo zvomuviri zvinobvira zvekuvadziko yakadaro pane hosha, kurwadziwa mukati mokubudisa tsvina, kurumwa mudumbu kunoitika kwaitikazve, kutemwa nomusoro, marwadzo amapfupa kana kuti tsandanyama ayo asina chisakiso chinooneka.

Apo chirwere chinoratidzika kuva chepsychosomatic, vabereki vanofanira kurangarira chiratidzo nomutoo wakakomba. “Kuti mwana ari kunyepedzera kana kuti kwete hakuna basa,” anodaro Dr. Alice S. Honig. “Chiri chinokosha ndicho chinetso chinokusakisa.”

Kuzvibata Kunogovera Zviratidzo Zvakajeka Zvikuru Kupfuura Zvinotaurwa

Chinjo yakamwe kamwe mumufambiro inowanzova danidzo nokuda kwebetsero. Bhuku rinonzi Giving Sorrow Words rinoti: “Apo mudzidzi akanaka anotanga kuwana mamakisi okukundikana, ikoko kunofanirwa nengwariro, uye kumwe cheteko ndekwechokwadi apo mwana aichimbova munetsi anova womuenzaniso womufambiro wakanaka.”

Mutoo wokureva nhema wakamwe kamwe waTimmy wamakore manomwe okukura wakavamba apo amai vake vakava vakabatikana chose chose nebasa ravo. Mufambiro wokuvirima wakamwe kamwe waAdam wamakore matanhatu okukura wakatsiga mukunzwa kwokusaringanirwa kuchikoro. Kudzokerazve kwaCarl wamakore manomwe okukura kukuitira weti pahuvato kwakaratidzira kupanga kwake kugamuchira kwavabereki, uko zvino kwakaratidzika kuve kwakatsausirwa kuhanzvadzi yake duku.

Mufambiro wokuzviparadza unokangaidza zvikuru. Tsaona dzenguva dzose dzaSara wamakore gumi namaviri okukura dzaisagona kunzi dzinoparirwa noudhakwa hwake. Chifo chechatanuro yavabereki vake, kuzvikuvadza amene kwakanga kuri nzira yaaishandisa mukusaziva kuedza kuwanazve rudo rwababa vake vasipo. Kunyange kuri kwakapfava sezvironda zviduku zvokuzvibaya kana kuti kwakakomba sokuedza kuzviuraya, denho inotendeudzirwa mukati kupfurikidza nomutoo wokuzviparadza umene chiratidzo chedzvinyiriro hurusa.

Kutaura Zvichibva Pamwoyo

“Muromo unotaura zvizere pamwoyo,” akataura kudaro Jesu Kristu. (Mateo 12:34) Mwoyo uyo unodzorwa nokunzwa kwakashata unowanzoziviswa kupfurikidza neizvo mwana anotaura.

“Vana vanouya kumba vachitaura kuti ‘Hakuna munhu anondida’ zvomenemene vari kukuudzai kuti havazvidi vamene,” anodaro Dr. Loraine Stern. Kumwe cheteko kungadaro nokuzvitutumadza. Kunyange zvazvo kuchiratidzika kuva kunoratidzira musiano wokuzvikudza kwakaderera, kuzvitutumadza pamusoro pezvinoitwa chaizvo kana kuti zvinofungidzirwa kungava nhamburiko yokukurira kunzwa kukuru kwokusaringanirwa.

Chokwadi, vana vose vanorwara, vanozvibata zvisina kufanira panhambo nenhambo, uye ivo vamene vanotambura kuora mwoyo kwapanhambo nenhambo. Asi apo zvinetso zvakadaro zvinoumba muitiro uye pasina chisakiso chapakarepo chinooneka, vabereki vanofanira kurangarira revo yezviratidzo.

Pashure pokunzvera mitoo yomufambiro wouhwana yavachiri kuyaruka vatanhatu vakanga vari vapari vedenho yamasimba masimba makuru, Mary Susan Miller akati: “Zviratidzo zvose zvaivapo. Vakomana vakanga varatidzira zviratidzo mumutoo woupenyu hwavo kwamakore, asi hapana munhu akapa ngwariro ipi neipi. Vanhu vakura vakaona, asi havana kuitira hanya.”

Zvino kupfuura nakare kose, vabereki vanofanira kusvinurira kuziva zviratidzo zvedzvinyiriro youhwana ndokuita chiito pazviri.

[Bhokisi riri papeji 25]

Dzvinyiriro Mumimba Here?

Kunyange mwana asati akwana anogona kuwana dzvinyiriro, rutyo, uye funganyo izvo amai vake vanokurukura kupfurikidza nechinjo yamakemikari ari muropa ravo. “Mwana asati akwana ari kukura anonzwa rutivi rwuri rwose rwokusagadzikana uko mukadzi ane pamuviri anonzwa,” anonyora kudaro Linda Bird Francke muGrowing Up Divorced. “Kunyange zvazvo gadziriro dzetsinga dzomwana asati akwana nomukadzi dzisina kubatana nomutoo wakananga, pane wirirano imwe chete pakati pavaviri isingagoni kuparadzaniswa.” Ikoku kungatsanangura chikonzero nei, mukuwirirana nemagazini yeTime, 30 muzana yakakarakadzwa yavacheche vane mwedzi 18 navaduku zvikuru vanotambura zvinetso zvine chokuita nedzvinyiriro inobvira pakusadavira kwendangariro kusvikira kudenho dzefunganyo. “Vacheche vanoberekwa namadzimai asingafari, anotambudzika vanowanzova vasingafari uye ivo vamene vanotambudzika,” anogumisa kudaro Francke.

[Bhokisi riri papeji 26]

Apo Mwana Anoedza Kuzviuraya

“Chii chingaitika kana ndikarara kwamakore ane zana?” Lettie akabvunza baba vake kudaro. Mubvunzo wouhwana, vakafunga kudaro. Asi Lettie akanga asiri kuva fuza. Mazuva anoverengeka gare gare akapinzwa muchipatara nemhaka yokumedza zviri mukati zvebhodhoro rakazara ramapiritsi anorarisa.

Chii chaunofanira kuita kana mwana wako akafunga nezvekuzviuraya kana kuti chaizvoizvo kuedza kuzviuraya? “Tsvaka betsero yapakarepo yenyanzvi,” rinokurudzira kudaro bhuku rinonzi Depression—What Families Should Know. “Kurapa kuzviuraya kunobvira harisati riri basa ravachirikudzidzira kurapa, kunyange avo vanoitira hanya zvikuru kwazvo munhu akapera mwoyo. Ungafunga kuti wapesvedzera mutezo wemhuri yako kusazviuraya nepo zvaari kungoita ndiko kuramba akanyarara uye achichengeta kunzwa kose kuri mukati kutozosvikira zvafushunuka nemiuyo inotyisa.”

Nokurapa kwakakodzera, pane tariro yomwana anoedza kuzviuraya. “Vanhu vazhinjisa vanoedza kuzviuraya havadi chaizvoizvo kuzviuraya,” bhuku ranokorwa mashoko pamusoro apa rinodaro. “Vanongoda havo kurega kukuvadza. Kuedza kwavo idanidziro nokuda kwebetsero.” Muungano yechiKristu, vabereki vanokundikana kudzora kombamiro dzokuzviuraya vangagamuchira tsigiro yorudo nepangiro yakanaka yapaMagwaro inobva kuvakuru.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]