USIZO LOMNDENI | UKUKHULISA IZINGANE
Ukukhuluma Nezingane Ngokucwasa Ngokwebala
Lapho nje isencane, ingane yakho ingase iqaphele ukuthi abanye basebenzisa ibala lesikhumba noma ubuzwe ukuze baphathe abanye kabi. Ungayisiza kanjani ingane yakho ukuba ingafani nalaba abacwasa abanye ngokohlanga? Yini ongayenza uma beyicwasa ngokwebala noma ngokohlanga?
Kulesi sihloko
Indlela ongakhuluma ngayo nezingane ngokucwasa ngokohlanga
Ongakuchazela izingane. Sidalwe ngendlela emangalisayo, indlela esibukeka ngayo ayifani namasiko abantu emhlabeni wonke awafani. Ngenxa yalokhu kuhluka, abanye abantu baye babaphatha kabi abanye ngenxa yendlela ababukeka ngayo nendlela abenza ngayo izinto.
Noma kunjalo, iBhayibheli lifundisa ukuthi sonke sivela kumuntu oyedwa. Ngamanye amazwi, sonke sihlobene.
“Ngomuntu oyedwa [uNkulunkulu] wenza zonke izizwe zabantu.”—IzEnzo 17:26.
“Sithole ukuthi lapho izingane zethu zichitha isikhathi nabantu bolunye uhlanga abavela kwizizinda ezingefani nezazo, lokhu kuyazisiza zibone ukuthi wonke umuntu kumele aphathwe ngothando nangenhlonipho.”—UKaren.
Ungazichazela kanjani izingane ngokucwasa ngokwebala nangokohlanga?
Kungekudala, ingane yakho izozwa imibiko yezindaba ngabantu abaphatha kabi abantu bolunye uhlanga. Ungayichazela kanjani ingane yakho ngalokho okwenzekayo? Ungayichazela ngendlela elula kuye ngeminyaka yayo.
Izingane ezingakangeni esikoleni. UDr. Allison Briscoe-Smith uthi “Izingane ziyakwazi ukubona ubulungiswa nokungabi nabulungiswa,” njengoba kucashunwe kumagazini iParents.
“UNkulunkulu akakhethi, kodwa ezizweni zonke umuntu omesabayo nowenza okulungile uyamukeleka kuye.”—IzEnzo 10:34,35.
Intsha ephakathi kweminyaka engu-6 kuya ku-12. Izingane eziphakathi kweminyaka engu-6 kuya ku-12 ziyathanda ukwazi, ngezinye izikhathi zibuza imibuzo enzima. Yenza konke ongakwenza ukuze uyiphendule kahle imibuzo yazo. Xoxa nezingane zakho ngezinto ezenzeka esikoleni nezinto ezizibona kuThelevishini futhi usebenzise amathuba anjengalawa ukuze uzichazele ukuthi ukucwasa ngokohlanga akulungile.
“Yibani nomqondo ofanayo, nibonise ukuzwelana nothando lobuzalwane, nibe nobubele, nithobeke.”—1 Petru 3:8.
Intsha. Intsha yamanje iyakwazi ukuqonda izinkinga ezinzima. Ngakho, uma ingane akho ineminyaka ephakathi kuka-13 kuya ku-19, leli yithuba elihle lokuba nixoxe ngemibiko yezindaba ephathelene nokucwasana ngokohlanga.
‘Abantu abavuthiwe. . . basebenzisa amandla abo okuqonda bawenza aqeqeshelwe ukuhlukanisa okulungile nokungalungile.’—Hebheru 5:14.
“Sikhuluma nezingane zethu ngokucwasana ngokohlanga ngoba siyazi ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuyinto ezingeke ziyibalekele kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zihlalaphi. Uma singaxoxi ngayo ekhaya, izingane zethu zizocabanga ngendlela abantu abacwasayo abacabanga ngayo. Abantu bazozitshela amanga futhi bazitshele ukuthi lokhu kuyiqiniso.”—UTanya.
Ungazibekela kanjani isibonelo izingane?
Izingane zifunda kulokho okwenzayo njengomzali, ngakho kubalulekile ukucabanga ngezinto ozishoyo nozenzayo. Ngokwesibonelo:
Ingabe uke uhlekise ngabantu bolunye uhlanga noma ubabukele phansi? I-American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry ithi “Izingane zakho ziyakulalela futhi ziyakubona okwenzayo bese ziyakulingisa.”
Uyakuthanda yini ukuba nabantu bavela kwezinye izingxenye zomhlaba? UDokotela wezingane u-Alanna Nzoma uthi: “Uma ufuna izingane zakho zizwane nezinye izingane ezivela kwezinye izindawo, kumele zibone wena kuqala ukwenza lokhu.”
“Hloniphani zonke izinhlobo zabantu.”—1 Petru 2:17.
“Kule minyaka edlule, besilokhu samukela izivakashi ezivela emazweni ahlukene. Safunda ngomculo wazo, ukudla, saze zagqoka ngisho nezingubo zazo zesintu. Lapho sixoxa nezingane zethu sasikhuluma ngabantu, sasingagxili ezintweni ezithinta uhlanga lwabo. Sasikugwema ukuqhosha ngamasiko ethu.”—UKatarina.
Lapho ingane yakho ibandlululwa
Nakuba abantu abaningi befuna ukuba abantu baphathwe ngendlela efanayo, ukucwasana ngokohlanga kuseyinsakavukela emhlabeni wonke. Lokhu kusho ukuthi izingane zakho kungenzeka ziphathwe kabi, ikakhulukazi uma zibhekwa njengabantu abavela esizweni esincane. Uma lokho kwenzeka . . .
Thola Amaqiniso. Ingabe umuntu okuphathe kabi ukwenze ngenhloso noma ukhulume engacabanganga? (Jakobe 3:2) Ingabe kufanele kukhulunywe naye ngalokho akwenzile noma ungavele ukudlulise okwenzekile?
Kubalulekile ukubheka zonke izinhlangothi zendaba. IBhayibheli lineseluleko esihlakaniphile: “Ungasheshi ukucasuka.” (UmShumayeli 7:9) Ukucwasa ngokohlanga akufanele kubhekwe njengento encane kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi njalo lapho othile ekuthuka noma ekuphatha kabi yingoba ezonda uhlanga lwakho.
Thola ukuthi kwenzekeni ngempela kuye ngesimo.
“Lapho umuntu ephendula indaba ngaphambi kokuba ezwe amaqiniso, lokho kungubuwula nokuhlazeka.”—IzAga 18:13.
Ngemva kokuthola wonke amaqiniso ngendaba, zibuze:
‘Kuzoyisiza yini ingane yami uma ihlale icabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu unobandlululo nokuthi uma noma ubani eyiphatha kabi yingoba eyicwasa ngokohlanga?’
‘Ingabe ingane yami ingasizakala yini ngokulalela iseluleko seBhayibheli esithi: “Ungawafaki enhliziyweni wonke amazwi abantu abawashoyo”?’—UmShumayeli 7:21.
“Ukucabangela kwenu makwaziwe yibo bonke abantu.”—Filipi 4:5.
Kodwa kuthiwani uma umuntu ekuphathe kabi ngenhloso? Siza ingane yakho ibone ukuthi lesi simo singase sibe ngcono noma sibe sibi kakhulu kuye ngokuthi isisingatha kanjani. Ngezinye izikhathi, umuntu ohlekisa ngothile, amphathe kabi noma amthuke usuke efuna ukubona ukuthi uzokwenzani. Ezimweni ezinjalo, into engcono kakhulu engayenza ukukuziba lokho okwenzekile.
“Lapho kungekho zinkuni umlilo uyacima.”—IzAga 26:20.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingane yakho ingakhuluma nomuntu oyiphathe kabi uma kungeke kuyifake engozini lokho. Mhlawumbe ingathi, “Yazi lokho okusho (okwenze) kimi akukuhle neze.”
Kuthiwani uma ufuna ukubikela abaphathi nabezomthetho ngokwenzekile? Uma ingane ingaphephile noma mhlawumbe unomuzwa wokuthi le ndaba kufanele ifakelwe izibuko, khuluma nabaphathi besikole noma ungabikela ngisho amaphoyisa uma kudingeka wenze kanjalo.