Umkhaya—Usesimweni Esibucayi!
“FUTHI bahlala ngenjabulo kusukela lapho.” Iya incipha namuhla imishado eba naleso siphetho sezindaba eziqanjiwe. Isithembiso esenziwa emshadweni sokuthandana ‘kukubi noma kukuhle uma nje bobabili besaphila’ ngokuvamile siyinkulumo nje yokuzisholo. Ithuba lokuba nomkhaya ojabulayo libonakala lilincane.
Phakathi kuka-1960 no-1990, amazinga ezehlukaniso anda ngokuphindwe kabili emazweni amaningi aseNtshonalanga athuthukile kwezezimboni. Kwamanye amazwe anda ngokuphindwe kane. Ngokwesibonelo, eSweden kwenziwa izibopho zemishado ezingu-35 000 unyaka ngamunye, futhi ingxenye yazo izogqashulwa, kuthinteke izingane ezingaphezu kuka-45 000. Imibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye ngaphandle komshado ihlukana ngezinga elikhulu nangaphezulu, kuthinteke amanye amashumi ezinkulungwane ezingane. Kunesimo esifanayo nasemazweni athile kuwo wonke umhlaba, njengoba kungabonwa ebhokisini elisekhasini 5.
Yiqiniso, ukubhidlika kwemikhaya nokuchitheka kwemishado akukusha emlandweni. ISimiso Somthetho SikaHammurabi sangekhulu le-18 B.C.E. sasihlanganisa imithetho eyayivumela isehlukaniso eBabiloni. Ngisho noMthetho KaMose, owamiswa ngekhulu le-16 B.C.E., wawusivumela isehlukaniso kwa-Israyeli. (Duteronomi 24:1) Nokho, izibopho zomshado azikaze zibe buthaka kunangaleli khulu lama-20 leminyaka. Eminyakeni engaphezu kweshumi edlule, umlobeli wephephandaba wabhala: “Eminyakeni engu-50 ukusuka manje, kungenzeka ukuthi siyobe singasenayo ngisho nemikhaya ngomqondo ongokwesiko. Mhlawumbe iyobe isithathelwe indawo izinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zamaqembu.” Futhi kusukela ngaleso sikhathi isimo sibonakala sivumelana nombono wakhe. Imikhaya iye yancipha ngokushesha kangangokuba umbuzo othi, “Ingabe iyosinda?” uya ufaneleka ngokwengeziwe.
Kungani kunzima kangaka ngemibhangqwana eminingi ukuba inamathele komunye nomunye futhi ilondoloze umkhaya onobunye? Iyini imfihlo yalabo abaye banamathela komunye nomunye isikhathi eside sokuphila kwabo, bagubha ngenjabulo iminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu nengamashumi amahlanu beshadile? Ngo-1983, kwabikwa ukuthi indoda ethile nowesifazane basendaweni eyayiyi-republic yaseSoviet i-Azerbaijan bagubha iminyaka eyikhulu beshadile—indoda ineminyaka engu-126 owesifazane unengu-116.
Yini Ewusongo?
Emazweni amaningi ezinye zezizathu zokuhlukanisa ngokomthetho ukuphinga, unya olungokwengqondo nolungokomzimba, ukushiywa komngane womshado, ukuba umlutha wotshwala, ukungabi nanzalo, ukusangana, ukushada namakhosikazi amabili nokuba umlutha wezidakamizwa. Nokho, imbangela evame kakhulu iwukuthi isimo sengqondo esiyisisekelo ngomshado nokuphila komkhaya okungokwesiko kuye kwashintsha kakhulu, ikakhulukazi phakathi namashumi eminyaka amuva. Inhlonipho ngaleli lungiselelo osekuyisikhathi eside laziswa iye yashabalala. Abashicileli abanobugovu bomculo, amafilimu, imidlalo ewuchungechunge ye-TV nezincwadi ezidumile baye batusa lokho abakubiza ngokuthi inkululeko engokobulili, ukuziphatha okubi nokuxekethile kanye nokuphila ngendlela yokuzazisa. Baye bakhuthaza isimo sempucuko esiye sangcolisa izingqondo nezinhliziyo zentsha kanye nezabantu abadala.
Ukuhlola kwango-1996 kwabonisa ukuthi amaphesenti angu-22 abantu baseMelika athi ukuphinga kungawuzuzisa umshado ngesinye isikhathi. Iphephandaba elikhethekile lelinye lamaphephandaba amakhulu kakhulu eSweden, i-Aftonbladet, lanxusa abesifazane ukuba bahlukanise ngoba “kuyoba ngcono.” Ezinye izazi ezidumile zokusebenza kwengqondo nezemvelaphi nenhlalo yabantu ziye zacabangela ngisho nokuthi ngokwesimiso sokuziphendukela kwemvelo umuntu “uhlelwe” ngendlela yokuba ashintshe umngane womshado njalo ngemva kweminyaka embalwa. Ngamanye amazwi, zisikisela ukuthi ukuphinga nezahlukaniso into engokwemvelo. Abanye baze baphikelele ukuthi ukuhlukanisa kwabazali kungase kuzizuzise izingane, kuzilungisele ukuba zibhekane nesazo isehlukaniso ngolunye usuku!
Intsha eningi ayisathandi ukuphila njengomkhaya ongokwesiko, onobaba, umama nezingane. Umbono ovamile uwukuthi: “Angizicabangi ngiphila nomngane womshado oyedwa ukuphila kwami konke.” Ibhungu elithile laseDenmark elineminyaka engu-18 ubudala lathi: “Umshado ufana noKhisimusi, uyinganekwane nje. Angikholwa ukuthi ukhona.” “Kunomuzwa wokuthi, kungani kufanele ukhathazeke ngokuphila [namadoda] uwawashele amasokisi,” kusho uNoreen Byrne we-National Women’s Council e-Ireland. “Zikhiphe udlale nawo nje . . . Abesifazane abaningi banquma ukuthi abawadingi amadoda ukuze baphile.”
Ayanda Amakhaya Anomzali Oyedwa
Kulo lonke elaseYurophu lesi simo sengqondo siye saholela ekwandeni okusheshayo komama abangabazali abangabodwa. Abanye balaba bazali abangabodwa yintsha enomuzwa wokuthi ukukhulelwa okungahleliwe akulona iphutha. Abambalwa abesifazane abafuna ukukhulisa ingane yabo bebodwa. Iningi omama abahlalisana noyise bezingane isikhathi esithile, ngaphandle kokuhlela ukushada nabo. Ngonyaka odlule umagazini i-Newsweek washicilela isihloko sangaphandle esasinombuzo othi, “Ingabe Umshado Usuyaphela?” Wathi amaphesenti abantwana abaphilayo abazalwa ngaphandle komshado anda ngokushesha eYurophu futhi akekho obonakala enendaba. ISweden ingase iphume phambili, ngengxenye yabantwana abazalwa ngaphandle komshado. EDenmark naseNorway bacishe babe ingxenye, kanti eFrance naseNgilandi, cishe oyedwa kwabathathu.
E-United States, imikhaya enabazali ababili iye yancipha ngokuphawulekayo emashumini ambalwa eminyaka adlule. Omunye umbiko uthi: “Ngo-1960, . . . amaphesenti angu-9 azo zonke izingane ayehlala emakhaya anomzali oyedwa. Ngo-1990, lelo nani lase lande lafinyelela kumaphesenti angu-25. Namuhla, amaphesenti angu-27,1 azo zonke izingane zaseMelika azalwa emakhaya anomzali oyedwa, okuyinani elandayo. . . . Kusukela ngo-1970, inani lemikhaya enomzali oyedwa liye laba ngaphezu kokuphindwe kabili. Abanye abacwaningi bathi namuhla umkhaya ongokwesiko usongelwa kangangokuthi kungenzeka usonqenqemeni lokuqothulwa.”
Imikhaya enomzali oyedwa iyanda emazweni lapho iSonto LamaRoma Katolika lingasenalo igunya kangako. Angaphansi kwengxenye amakhaya ase-Italy anomama, ubaba nezingane, futhi umkhaya ongokwesiko uthathelwe indawo imibhangqwana engenazingane namakhaya anomzali oyedwa.
Kwamanye amazwe isimiso sezenhlalakahle empeleni sikhuthaza abantu ukuba bangashadi. Omama abangashadile abathola usizo lwezenhlalakahle lungabalahlekela uma beshada. Omama abangashadile eDenmark baxhaswa ngokwengeziwe ngemali yokunakekela ingane, futhi kweminye imiphakathi, omama abasebancane bathola imali eyengeziwe bakhokhelwe nendawo yokuhlala. Ngakho, kuhileleke imali. U-Alf B. Svensson uthi eSweden isehlukaniso sidla imali yabakhokhi bentela engamaRandi ayizigidi eziphakathi kuka-1,2 no-1,8, esetshenziselwa ukuxhasa nokunika usizo lwezindlu nolwezenhlalakahle.
Amasonto eLobukholwa abonakala enza okuncane noma engenzi lutho ekuzameni ukulungisa lesi simo esikhungathekisayo emikhayeni. Abefundisi abaningi balwa nezimo eziyingozi zeyabo imikhaya, ngakho bazizwa bengenakukwazi ukusiza abanye. Abanye baze babonakale besekela isehlukaniso. I-Aftonbladet ka-April 15, 1996, yabika ukuthi umfundisi uSteven Allen waseBradford, eNgilandi, wasungula inqubo ekhethekile yesehlukaniso, asikisela ukuthi kufanele ibe inkonzo engokomthetho kuwo wonke amasonto aseBrithani. “Iyinkonzo yokululamisa ukuze kusizwe umuntu akwamukele lokho osekumehlele. Imsiza ukuba aqaphele ukuthi uNkulunkulu usamthanda nokuthi umkhulula ekuhluphekeni.”
Ngakho uphokophelephi umkhaya? Ingabe likhona ithemba lokuthi uzosinda? Ingabe imikhaya ingabulondoloza ubunye bayo njengoba ingaphansi kokusongelwa okukhulu kangaka? Siza ucabangele isihloko esilandelayo.
[Ishadi ekhasini 5]
IMISHADO YAMINYAKA YONKE UMA IQHATHA-NISWA NEZEHLUKANISO KWAMANYE AMAZWE
IZWE UNYAKA IMISHADO IZEHLUKANISO
Australia 1993 113 255 48 324
Canada 1992 164 573 77 031
Cuba 1992 191 837 63 432
Czech Republic 1993 66 033 30 227
Denmark 1993 31 507 12 991
Estonia 1993 7 745 5 757
France 1991 280 175 108 086
Germany 1993 442 605 156 425
Japan 1993 792 658 188 297
Maldives 1991 4 065 2 659
Norway 1993 19 464 10 943
Puerto Rico 1992 34 222 14 227
Russian Federation 1993 1 106 723 663 282
Sweden 1993 34 005 21 673
United Kingdom 1992 356 013 174 717
United States 1993 2 334 000 1 187 000
(Based on 1994 Demographic Yearbook, United Nations, New York 1996)