Indlela Yokuqinisa Izibopho Zomkhaya

Ziningi izizathu ezibangela ukuthi intsha ibaleke ekhaya futhi ngokuvamile zinzima kakhulu. Nakuba lesihloko singenakuzikhulumela ngokuningiliziwe, siyabonisa ukuthi izimiso zeBhayibheli, uma zisetshenziswa, zingasebenzela ukugcina umkhaya uhlangene.

KUNZIMA ukusho ukuthi bangaki abantwana abeqa ekhaya. Izilinganiso ezishicilelwe zisukela ezi-600 000 kuya ezi-3 000 000 ngonyaka zabantwana abadukile eUnited States iyodwa. Izilinganiso ezinjalo ngokuvamile zihlanganisa amaqembu anjalo njengabeqayo, abaxoshiwe, abalahliwe, nabantwana abathathwe ngenkani abazali abadivosile abangenalo ilungelo elingokomthetho lokubathatha. Kumelwe kube ukulinganisa, ngoba abantwana abashiywe ngabazali babo ababikwa njengabadukile, futhi abanye abantwana beqa njalo. “Oneminyaka eyi-16 oweqa kahlanu onyakeni futhi ahlale ubusuku isikhathi ngasinye lapho ebaleka uyovela . . . ezibalweni njengabantwana abahlanu abadukile,” kusho iThe New York Times.

Okubaluleke ngaphezu kwezibalo izizathu zokuthi kungani labantwana behamba ekhaya. “Lapho osemusha eqa, ngokuvamile kuwuphawu lwezimo zasekhaya ezingezinhle,” kusho umagazini iMedical Aspects of Human Sexuality. Kungase kube ngenxa yezinkinga ezikhona kakade, njengokuphathwa kabi okungokomzimba, ukunganakwa, ukuntula uthando, idivosi, ukufuna izinto ngokweqile, noma imithetho enonya neqinile. Noma kungase kube ngenxa yokwesaba imiphumela engalindelekile, njengasendabeni yokukhulelwa noma ukungezwani nomthetho. Lapho bebuzwa ukuthi kungani bahamba ekhaya, abaningi abeqayo basho izizathu ezihilela ubuhlobo babo nabazali babo. “Ubuhlobo bomzali nomntwana ngokusobala buyisici esinethonya kakhulu esihlobene nokuziphatha koweqayo,” kusho iphephabhuku iAdolescence. Liyanezela: “Abeqayo babika ubuhlobo bomzali nomntwana obungebuhle, ukuxabana okwedlulele komkhaya, ukuba kude nabazali, ukucindezeleka kobuhlobo, nokukhulumisana okungekuhle nabazali njengezici eziyinhloko ezibangela ukweqa.”

Ukuqonda Izizathu

Lezi yizikhathi ezicindezelayo. “Ngokwanda kokuswelakala komsebenzi, nemikhaya eminingi esebunzimeni obungokwezimali, ukucindezeleka emkhayeni nezinkinga kuyanda,” kusho umagazini iLadies’ Home Journal. “Lapho ubaba exoshwa emsebenzini nesikweleti singakhokhwa, wonke umuntu emkhayeni uzwa ukucindezeleka. Intsha, engazange ithuthukise amakhono okubhekana nalokhu kucindezela, isebenzisa ukweqa njengendlela yokuphunyuka.” Ngezinye izikhathi abazali ngokwabo ngokungaqondi baxosha abantwana babo. Ngokuthukuthela, bangase batshele abantwana babo ukuba bamukele izinqumo zabo noma bahambe. Becasukile futhi bekhathele ukulwa izimpi zabo zezomnotho zansuku zonke, banamandla amancane okusebenzelana nabantwana babo.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukuba nje omusha kuveza okwakho ukucindezela. Abeve eshumini elinambili balwa nesidingo sokulondeka nokunakekela abakuthola njengabantwana kanye nomqondo wokungenciki kubazali babo njengoba belwela ukuba badala. Kubabangela ukudideka nokukhathazeka. Izinguquko ezingokomzimba nazo futhi ziyenzeka. Ukuphila kwabo kuye kwaba inkimbinkimbi ngokushesha, futhi bangase bazizwe bethenekile ngalokho nje kukodwa. Bezwa ukucindezela okuvela kubazali nakontanga. Futhi bahlangabezana nezikhathi zokuzingabaza nokucindezeleka. “Lapho uzama ukuziqonda, ungamangali uma ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa uqondwa ngokungeyikho ekhaya,” kweluleka umagazini i’Teen. “Kakade, uma ungenakuziqonda wena ngokwakho, abazali bakho bangakwazi kanjani okusengqondweni yakho?” Abazali abaningi, ikakhulukazi ngabantwana babo bokuqala, abaqiniseki ukuthi inkululeko engakanani abangayinikeza abantwana babo. Ukulawula ngokweqile nokuntula ukuqonda kuye kwaholela intsha eningi ukuba yeqe.

“Kodwa ukweqa akuxazululi lutho,” kuphawula umlobi uJudy Blume encwadini yakhe iLetters to Judy. “Ukweqa kuwuphawu, hhayi ikhambi. Kunalokho, imikhaya kumelwe ihlale phansi ndawonye futhi ibhekane namaqiniso. Kumelwe ibhekane nobunjalo bento. Kulapho kuphela ingenza khona izinguquko eziyoyisiza ihlale ndawonye ngokuthula. Futhi ngokuvamile idinga usizo ekwenzeni lokho.”

Ukuthola Usizo Oludingekile

Umthombo ongcono kakhulu walolosizo iZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli. Kungani kunjalo? Ngoba njengoMdali womuntu, uNkulunkulu uyakwazi okungcono kakhulu ngendalo yakhe. Futhi uye wasinika isiqondiso enaleyonjongo engqondweni, “ukufundisa, nokusola, nokuqondisa, nokuyala ekulungeni, ukuze umuntu kaNkulunkulu aphelele, apheleliselwe yonke imisebenzi emihle.” (2 Thimothewu 3:16, 17) Izimiso zeBhayibheli ziyasebenza, futhi zithinta zonke izici zokuphila.

Nokho, njengoba kuphawuliwe, onke amalungu emkhayeni kumelwe azimisele ukubhekana namaqiniso futhi enze izinguquko. Ngaphandle kokuqaphela okunjalo kanye nesifiso, ngeke yenziwe intuthuko, futhi amandla ashukumisayo okubaleka ayolokhu ekhona. Lokhu kunjalo ikakhulukazi emikhayeni enezinkinga zophuzo, imilaliso, nokusetshenziswa kabi kobulili. Lezi kumelwe zinqotshwe, ngaphambi kokuba kubhekanwe nokucindezeleka okuvamile kokuphila. Ukholo kuNkulunkulu nesifiso esiqotho sokumthokozisa, okusekelwe olwazini oluqondile lweZwi lakhe, kuye kwasiza imikhaya eminingi ukuba inqobe izimo eziyingozi lezo kweminye imikhaya eziye zaphoqa intsha ukuba yeqe.—Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Korinte 6:9-11.

Ukuphila nje kulelizwe lamanje nobugovu balo obukhulayo, ukuntula ukwethembana, kanye nezinga elikhulayo lobugebengu kungase kucindezele izibopho zomkhaya. Kungalesosizathu “konke okwalotshwa ngaphambili [eBhayibhelini] kwalotshelwa ukufundiswa kwethu, ukuze ngokubekezela nangenduduzo yemibhalo sibe-nethemba.”—Roma 15:4.

Ukusebenzisa Izimiso ZeBhayibheli

Izimiso zeBhayibheli zingasetshenziswa sinolwazi lwezici eziholela umntwana ekweqeni. IBhayibheli likhulumela lezici ngokweluleka abazali ukuba basebenzise isikhathi esihle esidingekile benabantwana babo, ukunikeza ukuqeqesha okuqhubekayo kothando. Kokubili ukuntuleka kwesithakazelo nesiyalo esiqine ngokweqile kumelwe kugwenywe. IZwi likaNkulunkulu liyeluleka: “Nani-boyise, ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, kodwa nibondle ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.”—Efesu 6:4; IzAga 22:6.

Njengasezikhathini zeBhayibheli, isiqondiso esifanele, ukunakekela, nokufundisa kumelwe kube yizinto abazali abayozinikeza ngaso sonke isikhathi ‘lapho behleli endlini yabo, lapho behamba endleleni, lapho belala, nalapho bevuka.’ (Duteronomi 11:19) Nakuba iseluleko sidingeka ngezinye izikhathi, kumelwe sinikezwe ngothando. (IzAga 13:24) Injabulo yomkhaya ngokuqinisekile iyokhuliswa uma iseluleko esinjalo silandelwa!

Abantwana nabo kumelwe benze ingxenye yabo: “Bantwana, lalelani abazali benu eNkosini, ngokuba lokho kulungile. Yazisa uyihlo nonyoko.” (Efesu 6:1, 2) Indoda ehlakaniphile yasendulo uSolomoni, eyabhala ukuze ‘inike abangenalwazi ukuhlakanipha, nezinsizwa ukwazi namasu,’ iyeluleka futhi: “Ndodana yami, yizwa ukulaya kukayihlo, ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko, . . . Uma izoni zikuyenga, ungavumi.”—IzAga 1:1-10.

Zaziyosingathwa kanjani izinkinga zomkhaya? Ngothando, ngoba iBhayibheli liyeluleka: “Konke enikwenzayo akwenziwe ngothando.” (1 Korinte 16:14) Lolu kumelwe kube uthando olujulile oluzimisele ukungakunaki ukungapheleli kanye nesimo esingajwayelekile somunye, leso ngandlela-thile esingase sicasule futhi silimaze imizwa yomuntu. “Kunakho konke yibani-nokuthandana okunganqamukiyo,” kusho iBhayibheli, “ngokuba uthando lusibekela inqwaba yezono.”—1 Petru 4:8.

Uthando olunjalo lunesithakazelo futhi enjabulweni nasenhlala-kahleni yabanye futhi lwenza umkhaya usondelane kakhulu. Phawula ukuthi lokho okubizwa ngokuthi umthetho wegolide kwashiwo ngokuqondile: “Yenzela abanye lokho ofuna bakwenzele khona.” (Mathewu 7:12; Today’s English Version) Intsha eningi eyeqile okwaxoxwa nayo kokunye ukuhlola yathi ukuhileleka kwayo emikhayeni yakubo kwakukuncane kakhulu ngaphambi kokushiya ikhaya. “‘Ukungazihileli komkhaya’ kuyisici esiyinhloko enqubweni yokunquma ukubaleka nokungabuyi ekhaya,” kusho iAdolescence. Kodwa ngokulandela ukuyala kweBhayibheli kokuba “yilowo nalowo angabheki okwakhe, kepha yilowo abheke nokwabanye,” isikhathi esengeziwe siyosetshenziswa ndawonye njengomkhaya, futhi izinkinga zobuhlobo obungebuhle, ukwehlukana, nokukhulumisana okungekuhle zinganqotshwa. (Filipi 2:4) Ngomuzwa wokusondelana nesithakazelo ekhaya, ithonya lontanga elingase liyengele umntwana ukuba eqe liyoba lincane.

Ngokusetshenziswa kwezimiso zeBhayibheli, ukweqa ekhaya akusabonakali kuyikhambi ezinkingeni umuntu ngamunye okumelwe abhekane nazo ekuphileni. Ngokusekela kothando okuvela emalungwini omkhaya ngamanye, umkhaya uba isiphephelo ekucindezeleni kwezwe langaphandle. Ukuqondwa ngokugcwele kwezimiso zeBhayibheli nokusetshenziswa kwazo, kuhlanganise nethemba uNkulunkulu alinikezayo, kuyoqhubeka kukhulisa leyonjabulo. Kungani ungavumeli oFakazi BakaJehova baxoxe nawe ngakho?

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 7]

LOKHO ABAZALI ABANGAKWENZA

Chitha isikhathi unabantwana bakho; zazi izinkinga zabo nezidingo

Nakekela njalo futhi uqondise njalo

Nikeza isiyalo nokuqeqesha ngothando

Yenza ikhaya libe yindawo ejabulisayo

LOKHO ABANTWANA ABANGAKWENZA

Lalela, uthande, futhi uhloniphe abazali

Gwema ukuzehlukanisa; yiba nesithakazelo esifudumele ezindabeni zomkhaya

Cabangela umkhaya uwonke, hhayi nje izifiso zakho siqu

Khululeka futhi uxoxe

[Izithombe ekhasini 5]

Ubuhlobo bomzali nomntwana bubaluleke kakhulu