Kungani Kunabantwana Abaningi Kangaka Abeqayo?
IBhayibheli Nokuphila Komkhaya: Lesihloko siyoqokonyiswa komagazini abane abalandelanayo beNqabayokulinda
“Ingabe ukhona ongacabanga ukuthi umama ukhathazeka kangakanani lapho indodakazi yakhe yeqa? Kuyinto esabekayo. Yeqeleni? Anginakukuqonda. Ibiyintombazane enhle nejabulayo futhi esencane kakhulu.
“Iphi ngalobusuku? Ingabe ithokomele? Ingabe ilambile? Ingabe inesizungu? Ave ngiyithanda. Akekho engingakhuluma naye. Akukho engingakwenza ngaphandle kokulinda.
“Isikhathi ngasinye uma kukhala ucingo inhliziyo yami ishaya ngamandla. Kodwa ayilushayi ucingo futhi akuzwakali lutho. Ngiye ngathandazela ukuba ilondeke namandla okubhekana nalokhu. Ngihlale ngicabanga ukuthi ingangena noma nini emnyango.
“ . . . Ngicabanga ngezinto eziningi eziyimbudane njengoba ngizama ukuqeda ubuhlungu. Oh, Nkulunkulu othandekayo, buyisa intombazanyana yami ekhaya.”
INCWADI engenhla yathunyelwa kumhleli wephephandaba ongumeluleki owayedumile ekuqaleni kwawo-1970. Kwakungesikhathi lapho kwakucatshangwa ukuthi abantwana abeqayo babehamba ngezizathu ezingabalulekile: ukufuna injabulo, ukuhlola inkululeko, ukungavumelani nesikhathi esimisiwe, ukuphelelwa yithemba ngenxa yothando olunqanyuliwe. Lapho abanye besalokhu beqa ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo, izinto ziye zashintsha eminyakeni eyi-15 edlule.
Intsha yanamuhla ngokuvamile yeqa ngenxa yezimo ezisabeka ngokweqile—izimo zomkhaya eziwohloke ngempela ezenza izizwe ingafunwa futhi ingathandwa; futhi ingase ngisho iphathwe kabi. Futhi esikhundleni sokubaleka iye kokuthile—indlela yokuphila ekhangayo neheha ngokwengeziwe—ibalekela okuthile, ukuphila kwasekhaya okuwohlokayo nokungajabulisi. “Abeqayo bahluke kakhulu manje kulokho ababeyikho lapho kwakubhalwa okuningi kakhulu ngabo” ngasekuqaleni kwawo-1970, kusho uDr. Douglas Huenergardt, umphathi wedlangala labeqayo eFlorida. “Phakathi nalesosikhathi sasinabantwana ababefuna izindlela zokuphila ezihlukile. Akukhona lokho okwenzeka namuhla. Umntwana oweqayo ngokusobala yilowo ongenakukumelela okwenzeka ekhaya.”
Ukuhlola kwamuva kuyakufakazela lokhu. Nokho futhi kubonisa okunye okumangalisayo. Akusikho kuphela ukuthi abantwana abaningi bayeqa ukuze babalekele ukuphila komkhaya okungenakubekezelelwa kodwa namuhla cishe abathi ababe isigamu sabeqayo eUnited States abeqi ngoba bethanda—bayaxoshwa noma bakhuthazwe abazali babo siqu ukuba bahambe ekhaya! “Ukweqa kwentsha eningi kubangelwa umkhaya ongaphilile, isimo sasemsebenzini noma sasesikoleni,” kuphawula iphephabhuku iFamily Relations. “Abaningi abeqayo, empeleni, bangabalahlwa, noma abaxoshwa. Lentsha itshelwa ukuba ihambe noma ishiywa abazali bayo. Enye iphathwa kabi kakhulu futhi ngokuphindaphindiwe ize ingaboni ukuthi ingenzani ngaphandle kokuhamba.”
Yeka ukuthi kwesabeka kanjani! Yeka indlela okudabukisa ngayo ngabantwana! Ngoba, uma isingaphandle emgwaqweni, inemali encane futhi ingenalutho lokuzondla, intsha ngokuvamile iphendukela ekunxibeni, ekusebenziseni imilaliso, ebufebeni, nasekwebeni, noma ihlaselwe ngabanye. “Akuzona izisebenzi zezenhlala-kahle nezazi zengqondo ezibingelela abeqayo eziteshini zamabhasi, kodwa abaqashisa ngezifebe, abathengisa imilaliso nabezithombe ezivusa inkanuko,” kusho umagazini iPsychology Today. “Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalombili nesithupha ezingqapheli ezabuzwa zathi kuncane noma akukho okwenziwayo ukuze kuvinjelwe abeqayo ekubeni yizisulu kulababhubhisi. Akumangalisi ukuthi, impilo yabeqayo iyawohloka uma beqhubeka besemgwaqweni.”
Kuyiqiniso, izindawo zokuvikela eziningi ngokwengeziwe ziyakhiwa ukuze kuhlaliswe, kondliwe, futhi kwelulekwe abantwana abangenamakhaya. Kodwa ukuqoqela abeqayo lapho kanye nokukwazi ukubasiza ngempela kungenye into. “Umsebenzi wethu uwukufaka kubona izinga elithile lokuzihlonipha, ukubenza bazikhathalele,” kulandisa omunye umluleki. “Futhi kungumsebenzi onzima kunayo yonke engake ngaba nayo.” Ngoba ngesikhathi lentsha ifika lapho, ngokuvamile iyabaxwaya futhi ayibathembi abantu abadala, iphatheka kabi, ithukuthele, noma iphelelwe ithemba, futhi ingase ifune ngisho nokuzibulala.
Ingabe izinkinga zingaxazululeka emisukeni yazo? “Inani elikhulu kakhulu lezehlakalo zabeqayo liyobangelwa izindaba zomkhaya zohlobo oluthile,” kuphawula iSearch, incwadi yaseNew Jersey enohlu lwabadukile. “Umuntu ojabulayo ngokuyisisekelo ngeke eqe.” Yini-ke eyosebenzela injabulo emkhayeni? Ingabe izibopho phakathi komzali nomntwana zingaqiniswa?