Izinkinga Zomkhaya Zixazululwa Ngeseluleko SeBhayibheli

1, 2. (a) Ziyini ezinye zezimbangela zemikhaya ehlukene? (b) Kungani sonke kumelwe sikhathazeke ngezinkinga zalabo abasemikhayeni ehlukene? (1 Korinte 12:26)

“ABAFAZI [bakhetha] ukudivoswa, abantwana bakhetha ukwamukwa ifa, . . . kunokuba bangethembeki kuKristu,” kubhala uArnobius, umKristu wokuzisholo wekhulu lesine leminyaka.a Yebo, ngisho nangalesosikhathi, ukuphikiswa okukhulu okungokwenkolo kwabangakholwayo kwakwehlukanisa imikhaya. UJesu wathi labo ‘ababethanda kakhulu’ amalungu omkhaya kunaye babengenakumfanela. Ngakho-ke kwakuyoba ‘nenkemba’ ebanga ukwahlukana kweminye imikhaya, ngenxa yokubonisa kokholwayo ukuwuthanda kancane umkhaya wakhe, “yebo, nokuphila kwakhe.” (Mathewu 10:34-37, qhathanisa neNW; Luka 14:26) Ukwahlukana okunjalo emkhayeni kuqhubekela osukwini lwethu.

² Nakuba umKristu engenza konke okusemandleni ukugcina umkhaya ungaphazamisekile, abanye abangane abangakholwa bamane ‘bangavumi ukuhlala’ nomKristu, futhi kwenziwe isahlukaniso noma idivosi. (1 Korinte 7:12-16) Ukwehlukana kwemikhaya kuyenzeka futhi ngoba phakathi “nesiphelo sezwe” kuye kwaba ‘nokuphola’ kothando ngoNkulunkulu nemithetho yakhe, kuhlanganise naleyo ephathelene nomshado. (Mathewu 19:6, 9; 24:3, 12) EUnited States izinga ledivosi landa ngamaphesenti angama-236 phakathi kuka-1960 no-1980 kuphela! Njengoba cishe imibhangqwana emithathu kwemihlanu edivosayo eUnited States inabantwana, leyo esemakhaya ehlukene ibhekene nezinkinga ezinkulu. Ngokuvamile lapho abantu befunda iqiniso leZwi likaNkulunkulu, ukuphila komkhaya wabo kuyathuthuka, kodwa abanye abantu badivosa ngaphambi kokuba oFakazi BakaJehova. Ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nomKristu owehluleka ukusebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli ngobuqotho ekhaya uye wagcina ngokudivosa. (Johane 13:17) Yini abazali abangamaKristu abangayenza ngaphansi kwalezizimo ukuze bakhulise abantwana babo ukuba bathande uJehova?

‘Ukuhawukelana’ Kubalulekile

3. Ikuphi ukuhlupheka okubangwa yidivosi?

³ Osukwini lukaMalaki amadoda athile akwaIsrayeli ayedivosa omkawo ngokukhohlisa. ‘Ukukhala nokububula’ kwalaba besifazane abashiyiwe njengoba babenxusa usizo lukaNkulunkulu, ngamanye amazwi, ‘kwakusibekela ialtare likaJehova ngezinyembezi.’ (Malaki 2:13-16) Kubuhlungu ngokufanayo namuhla ukuhlukana komshado, ngisho noma kunezizathu ezizwakalayo ezingokomBhalo zokuhlukana kwawo. Nakuba indoda nomfazi bezwa ubuhlungu, abantwana ngokuvamile bezwa ubuhlungu obengeziwe.

4. (a) Abantwana bahlupheka ngaziphi izindlela lapho abazali babo bedivosa? (b) Umzali angamsiza kanjani umntwana?

⁴ Ngisho noma idivosi iletha ukukhululeka ekuxhashazweni, ngezinye izikhathi lonke izwe lomntwana libonakala lihlakazeka. Ngakho-ke kudingekile ngomzali okholwayo ukuba abonise uthando nokuqonda okukhethekile ekusingatheni isimo. “Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngangiphakathi nendawo. Ngangizizwa ngihlukene kabili,” kuchaza omusha oyise ongumKristu wathola idivosi engokomBhalo lapho umfana eneminyaka eyisihlanu. “Imizwa yami engokoqobo ngayivalela ngaphakathi kimi. Lokhu kwangenza ngacindezeleka kakhulu.” Ukusiza umntwana abhekane nemizwa enjalo kudinga ukuba umzali abe ‘nesihawu’ futhi abe “nobubele.” (1 Petru 3:8) Umntwana angase athule ngenxa yomuzwa wecala, enomuzwa wokuthi ngandlela-thile nguye okumelwe asolwe ngenxa yedivosi. Umzali kumelwe achaze ngesineke ukuthi uyamthanda umntwana nokuthi idivosi ayibangelwanga ngumntwana.

5. Kungani umzali ongumKristu kumelwe azame ukuqeda inzondo nomngane wakhe wesikhathi esidlule?

⁵ Ukuthukuthelelana kwabazali kungaba kukhulu, ikakhulukazi uma kuhileleke izimpikiswano ezingokwenkolo. Nokho, ‘kunokuphindisela okubi ngokubi nokuthuka ngokuthuka,’ umzali okholwayo kumelwe acabangele inhlala-kahle yomntwana. (1 Petru 3:9) Encwadini yakhe ethi Growing Up Divorced, uLinda Francke uthi: “Abazali abazondanayo benza lezinkinga zabantwana zibe nzima kakhulu futhi zibe ngezibhubhisayo. Njengoba engafuni ukubandlulula omunye umzali, umntwana angahoxisa ubuhlobo obuhle kubo bobabili abazali.” Yebo, akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi ‘umhawu obabayo nombango’ akulungile kodwa futhi kungahlubula umntwana kuwe. (Jakobe 3:14, 16) Ukuhlasela umzali ongakholwa ngamazwi angenangqondo kungamlimaza kakhulu umntwana. (IzAga 12:18) Uma umngane wakho ongakholwa wesikhathi esidlule efisa ukuqhuba ingxabano, ‘uma kungenzeka, ngokwakho [wena okholwayo] hlalisana ngokuthula nabantu bonke.’—Roma 12:18-21.

Vikela Inhliziyo Yomntanakho

6. Ngemva kokuba sekutholakele ukuthi ubani ozoba umondli womntwana, ingaba yini inkinga kwabanye abazali?

⁶ Ngemva kokuba sekutholakele ukuthi ubani ozoba umondli womntwana, kungaba futhi nezinkinga okumelwe kubhekanwe nazo. Umbiko wegatsha laseAustralia leWatch Tower Society uthi: “Enye yezinkinga eziyinhloko iwukuthi umzali ongumondli womntwana ubonakala ezithela ngabandayo . . . Ngisho nomzali oseqinisweni angalahlekelwa umbono wesizathu esiyisisekelo sokufuna kwakhe ukuba ngumondli wabantwana. Isizathu esiyinhloko kumelwe sibe ukubakhulisa njengabakhulekeli beqiniso bakaJehova.” Ukwenza kanjalo kudinga umzamo ongapheli.—Efesu 6:4.

7. (a) Kungani umntwana kumelwe afundiswe ukuhlonipha umzali ongakholwa? (b) Ungabonisana kanjani nomntwana uma ongakholwa enza ukuziphatha okungebona ubuKristu?

⁷ Yebo, ngokuvamile inkantolo yomthetho inikeza amalungelo okuvakasha kumzali ongaseyena umondli womntwana. Ingabe lawa angahlonishwa kube kuvikelwa inhliziyo yomntwana? Yebo, futhi ngokufanelekile, umntwana kumelwe abonise inhlonipho efanele kumzali ongakholwa. Uma ongakholwa enza ukuziphatha okungebona ubuKristu lapho evakasha, kunokuba akhe inzondo ngokusola lowomzali, okholwayo angachazela umntwana ukuthi uNkulunkulu uye wabeka izindinganiso zokuziphatha eBhayibhelini nokuthi “yilowo nalowo phakathi kwethu uyakuziphendulela kuNkulunkulu,” uMahluleli wokugcina. (Roma 14:12) Nokho, kwenze kucace ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo akumelwe kulingiswe. Bonisa ngokuhlakanipha ukuthi nakuba abanye abantu bengaphili ngalezindinganiso, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abaningi bayaguquka ngenxa yokubona isibonelo sobuKristu emntwaneni nakumngane womshado wesikhathi esidlule. Ngalendlela, kungenzeka ukuba umntwana amhloniphe lowomzali. Ukwehlukana ngenkolo kombhangqwana odivosile akumelwe kuvimbele umzali ekuthonyeni umntwana ngendlela efanele. Umzali ongumKristu ‘uyokwenza ukuba kwakhe ngoqondayo kwaziwe ngabantu bonke.’ (Filipi 4:5, NW) Kuthiwani-ke uma ongakholwa ezama ukululaza ukuqeqesha kokwesaba uNkulunkulu?

8. Abazali ababili babalungiselela kanjani abantwana babo ukuvakashela abangane bomshado besikhathi esidlule abaphikisayo?

⁸ Ukulungiselela ukuvakasha kwakhe kuyisihluthulelo! Omunye umama ongumKristu omyeni wakhe wesikhathi esidlule waba yisihlubuki wabika: “Ngaphambi kokuba avakashe, ngangitadisha nabantwana ngendlela uJehova ayeyobheka ngayo ukuziphatha kwabo. Sasenza umboniso walezozimo. Ngangithi: ‘Uma ubaba wenu ethi noma ethi, niyophendula kanjani?’” Omunye umKristu owadivoswa ngenxa yokuba uFakazi uyanezela: “Ngaphambi kokuba [abantwana bami ababili abeve eshumini elinambili] bahambe beyovakasha impelasonto noyise, siyathandaza sicela ukuba uJehova abe nabo futhi abasize bafakaze kuyise, ikakhulukazi ngokuziphatha kwabo okuhle.”

9. Abazali abangamaKristu bangasilingisa kanjani isibonelo sikanina kaMose?

⁹ Umzali ongakholwa onamalungelo okuvakasha angazama ukuyenga umntwana ngezipho eziningi, izindlela zokuzilibazisa ezibizayo, nezinye izinto zokuzijabulisa. UJokebedi, unina kaMose, (noAmramu uma wayesaphila) wakwazi lokho uMose ayeyobhekana nakho lapho eba ngowendodakazi kaFaro. Ngakho akungabazeki ukuthi wazikhandla ekulolongeni imizwa yakhe ngezinto ezibalulekile lapho esenaye. (Eksodusi 2:1-10) Naphezu kokubhekana “nengcebo yaseGibithe” elingayo, uMose wazikhethela ukulandela izimiso zokwesaba uNkulunkulu. ‘Wathatha’ amalungelo akhe angokomoya njengengcebo yangempela! (Heberu 11:23-26, qhathanisa neNW.) Ngokufanayo abazali abangamaKristu kumelwe balungiselele abantwana babo ukuhlangana nezilingo ezinjalo ngokuxoxa ngendaba engokomBhalo egxilisa ukunakekela engcebweni engokomoya.b Ngokuvamile abantwana babona okungaphezu nje kwesisusa esisobala somzali ozama ukuzizuzela uthando lwabo.—IzAga 15:16, 17.

10. Esimweni esingavamile, iziphi ezinye zezici umzali okumelwe azicabangele?

¹⁰ Kwezinye izimo ezingavamile, ukuvakasha okunjalo kungasongela umntwana ngokungathi sína. Kuyodingeka ukuba umzali anqume ukuthi yini okumelwe yenziwe ngaphansi kwalezozimo, ahlole ngomthandazo ukungathi sína kosongo, usizo olungokomthetho olutholakalayo, nemiphumela enokwenzeka yokuhoxisa amalungelo okuvakasha.c Gwema izenzo zokuphamazela ezingabangela ukungabaza ukufaneleka kwakho njengomzali.—Galathiya 6:5; Roma 13:1; IzEnzo 5:29; 1 Petru 2:19, 20.

Sebenzisa “Ukuhlakanipha”

11. Lapho umzali engaseyena umondli, yini okumelwe ayiqaphele?

¹¹ Kuthiwani uma kungumzali ongumKristu onamalungelo okuvakasha kuphela? Uma umntwana engasekho ekhaya lobuKristu, lowomzali unokulawula okulinganiselwe okungokomoya emntwaneni. (1 Korinte 7:14) Ngokwesibonelo, cishe inzalamizi ethembekile uAbrahama yayiyophikelela ukuba indodana yayo uIshmayeli, njengoIsaka, iganwe umkhulekeli okanye nayo. Kodwa ngemva kokuba uIshmayeli, owayeve eshumini elinambili, nonina uHagari bexoshwa endlini, uAbrahama akakwazanga ukuvimbela uHagari ekuhleleni ukuba uIshmayeli aganwe umGibithe ngokusobala owayengeyena umkhulekeli kaJehova.—Genesise 21:14, 21; 24:1-4.

12. (a) Yimuphi umzamo oqondile umzali ongumKristu ongeyena umondli angawenza? (b) Bonisa indlela umzali ongumKristu ‘angasebenzisa ngayo ukuhlakanipha ukuze aphumelele.’

¹² Naphezu kwalokho okungase kube amathuba alinganiselwe, umzali ongumKristu ongeyena umondli womntwana usengenza okuningi ekugxiliseni uthando olujulile ngoJehova emntwaneni. Ukuze enze kanjalo, umzali kumelwe ‘agcine ukuhlakanipha namasu.’ (IzAga 3:21) Yebo, kudingeka umzamo omkhulu ngempela. “Uma insimbi ibuthuntu, umuntu engaloli usiko, uyakhamelela ngamandla [kube nemiphumela emincane]; kepha okusizayo ukuphumelelisa kungukuhlakanipha.” (UmShumayeli 10:10) Ngokwesibonelo, ngezinye izikhathi ongakholwa angenza izaba zokumvimbela ukuba aye kumntwana. Kunokuba asheshe akuphikise lokhu, umzali angathola imiphumela engcono ngokusebenzisa izAga 25:15: “Ngokubekezela kade isikhulu singavunyiswa, nolimi oluthambileyo luyaphula amathambo.” Ukubekezela nobumnene, nakuba kungelula ukukubonisa lapho umuntu ebhekene nemingcele engenakho ukulunga, kungathobisa ngisho nomuntu oqine njengethambo ekuphikiseni kwakhe. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Thimothewu 2:23-25.) Ngokuvamile izimpikiswano zingagwenywa ngokufika kwakho ngesikhathi nokulandela ukusikisela (okungashayisani nemiBhalo) okunikezwa umzali ongumondli ngokuqondene nokunakekelwa komntwana. Uma ukhathazeka ngokuthi ongakholwa ukhuluma izinkulumo zokukuhlazisa kumntwana, khumbula eyoku-1 Petru 2:15: “Ngokwenza okuhle nithulise ukungazi kwabantu abayiziwula.” Uma ubeka isibonelo esihle, umntwana uyobona ukuthi ubani ongenacala.—IzAga 20:7.

13. Umzali okholwayo angakwenza kanjani ukuvakasha kube yinzuzo ngempela?

¹³ Phakathi nokuvakasha, zama ukufaka iZwi likaNkulunkulu enhliziyweni yomntwana ngokuba wena siqu utadishe naye ukwaziswa okungokomBhalo nangokuya naye emihlanganweni yebandla, noma nini lapho kunokwenzeka. Ngisho noma kunemingcele eqinile engokomthetho, umzali angabhekisela ngokwethukela emisebenzini kaNkulunkulu yendalo, futhi ngezinye izindlela asize umntwana athande uNkulunkulu. (Roma 1:19, 20; Mathewu 6:28-30) UJesu wakuqaphela ukulinganiselwa kwezilaleli zakhe. “Walikhuluma izwi kubo . . . njengamandla abo okuzwa.” (Marku 4:33, 34) Ngakho ngaphezu kokuxoxa ngezindaba ezingokomoya ezingathi sína, hlanganyelani kweminye imisebenzi eyakhayo, njengokuvakasha nabangane abahle, kuhlanganise nabanye abawontanga bomntwana. (IzAga 13:20) Jabulelani ukuzilibazisa okuhle ndawonye. Yenzani ukuvakasha kube yisenzakalo esiyigugu. Iseluleko esinengqondo sibonisa uthando. (IzAga 13:24) Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga zingase zibonakale zinkulu. Ukucindezeleka kuvela ezinhlangothini eziningi. Konke lokhu kungakhuthazelelwa kanjani?

Thembela KuJehova

14. Isiphi isiqinisekiso esinaso kumaHubo 37:23, 24?

¹⁴ Ngokuqondene nomuntu uJehova ‘athanda’ inkambo yakhe yokuphila, uDavide wabhala: “Noma ekhubeka, akayikuwa phansi, ngokuba uJehova uphasa isandla sakhe.” (IHubo 37:23, 24) Yebo, umKristu olwisana nokucindezela komkhaya owehlukene ngezinye izikhathi ‘angawa’ ngenxa yokukhungatheka, ukudumazeka, kanye nezimo ezingokomthetho noma ezingokwezimali ezingezinhle, kodwa ngeke ‘awe phansi’ ngokuphelele. Njengoba iNew Berkeley Version ihumusha lomusho: “Uma ewa, ngeke abe phansi futhi aphele amandla.” Ngani? Ngoba uJehova welula isandla sakhe sokusekela ngomoya wakhe ongcwele nabakhulekeli bakhe abanothando.—Jakobe 1:27.

15, 16. Abanye emikhayeni ehlukene baye basekelwa kanjani?

¹⁵ Omunye wesifazane ongumKristu, ngemva kokuba umyeni wakhe wesikhathi esidlule ophikisayo enikezwe ilungelo lokuba ngumondli wabantwana bakhe ababili abasebancane, wathi: “Uma izinto ngingenakuzilawula nakancane, ngangifunda ukuthembela ngempela kuJehova. Ngiye ngafunda ukwamukela lokho akuvumelayo futhi ngingazami ukuzisingathela izinto. Ngisafunda namanje. Kuyisifundo esinzima.” Nokho, uwasebenzisa ngokugcwele amalungelo akhe okuvakasha futhi induduzo uye wangayithola nje kuphela kumyeni wakhe omusha, ongumdala ongumKristu othembekile, kodwa futhi nakwabanye ebandleni.

¹⁶ Omunye umKristu omyeni wakhe wesikhathi esidlule oyisihlubuki wagcina abantwana kuye izinyanga eziningana ngokumelene nomthetho wenkantolo, wathi: “Ngangicindezeleke kangangokuthi ngangicabanga ukuthi ngangiyokwahlukana kabili. Into eyangenza ngangasangana phakathi nalesosikhathi kwakuwukuhlanganyela enkonzweni yasensimini.” Indodakazi yakhe, eyayineminyaka eyisikhombisa ngalesosikhathi, yammelela ngokuqinile uJehova, ikhuthazelela ngisho nokushaywa kaningi ngonya nguyise ngenxa yokwenqaba kwayo ukufunda izincwadi zakhe zokuhlubuka. Lapho ibuyela kunina, yayizimisele ukunamathela kuJehova ngokwengeziwe. Lezi kanye nezinye izinceku ezithembekile ziye zabona iHubo 54:2-7 ligcwaliseka: “Nkulunkulu, yizwa umkhuleko wami, . . . bheka, uNkulunkulu ungumsizi wami; iNkosi ikubo abaphasa umphefumulo wami. . . . Ngokuba ungikhululile ekuhluphekeni konke.” Yebo, singathembela ekusekeleni kukaJehova!—1 Korinte 10:13.

17. Abazali emikhayeni ehlukene bangabasiza kanjani abantwana babo, mhlawumbe kube namuphi umvuzo?

¹⁷ Ngakho uma ungumzali emkhayeni owehlukene, yiba nozwela ngemizwa yomntanakho. Qinisa inhliziyo yakhe ngeZwi likaNkulunkulu. Uma unamalungelo okuvakasha kuphela, khona-ke yiba “nokuhlakanipha” njengoba uwasebenzisa ngokugcwele. Thembela emandleni eZwi likaNkulunkulu elitshalwe enhliziyweni eyamukelayo. (1 Thesalonika 2:13) Ukubona umntwana ethanda uJehova kuwufanele wonke umzamo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

Uyakhumbula?

◻ Umzali ongumKristu ongumondli womntwana angayivikela kanjani inhliziyo yomntwana?

◻ “Ukuhlakanipha” kuyomsiza kanjani umzali okholwayo onamalungelo okuvakasha kuphela?

◻ Isiphi isiqinisekiso esinikezwe kumaHubo 37:23, 24, futhi uJehova usigcwalisa kanjani lesithembiso?

[Isithombe ekhasini 29]

Sebenzisa amalungelo okuvakasha ukuba ufake iqiniso enhliziyweni yomntwana wakho, kodwa lokhu kuhlanganise neminye imisebenzi emihle