Ukuwinwa Kwabantwana—Inkolo Nomthetho

EMACALENI esehlukaniso nokuwinwa kwabantwana, inkolo ingaba isici esibalulekile—futhi esiyinkimbinkimbi. Ngokwesibonelo, kungase kuphakame imibuzo enjengalena elandelayo.

Ingabe ijaji kufanele libucabangele ubufakazi bokuthi omunye umzali akakufanelekele ukuwina umntwana ngoba eyilungu lenkolo ethile, ikakhulukazi inkolo enabalandeli abambalwa? Ingabe ijaji kufanele licabangele ubufakazi ngezinkolelo nemikhuba engokwenkolo yalowo mzali ukuze linqume ukuthi iyiphi inkolo elungele umntwana, ngokubona kwalo? Ingabe-ke kufanele linqume ukuba umntwana akhuliswe ngaleyo nkolo futhi linqabe ukuba azi ngezinye izinkolo?

Namuhla, abantu abaningi bashada nabantu abangebona abenkolo noma uhlanga lwabo. Ngakho lapho lemibhangqwana ihlukanisa, kungenzeka ukuthi kakade abantwana sebenezibopho nezinkolo ezimbili. Ngezinye izikhathi, umzali owenza isehlukaniso kungenzeka usanda kwamukela inkolo ethile ehlukile kuleyo ayekuyo ngaphambili. Ubudlelwane obusha obungokwenkolo bungase bube isici esiletha ukuzinza ekuphileni kwalowo mzali futhi esibaluleke kakhulu kuye kodwa abantwana abangasijwayele. Ngakho kuphakama omunye umbuzo, Ingabe inkantolo ingamenqabela umzali ukuba ayise abantwana ezinkonzweni zaleyo nkolo ngenxa nje yokuthi ihlukile enkolweni abazali ababekuyo ngaphambili?

Lemibuzo inzima. Idinga ukuba ijaji lingacabangeli izidingo zomntwana kuphela kodwa licabangele nezithakazelo namalungelo abazali.

Amalungelo Ayisisekelo Abazali Nabantwana

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi amajaji angase athonywe imibono yawo engokwenkolo. Kodwa emazweni amaningi cishe akunakwenzeka ukuba amalungelo abazali noma omntwana angokwenkolo anganakwa. Lamazwe angase abe nomthetho-sisekelo owenqabela ijaji ukuba lincishe laba bazali ilungelo eliyisisekelo lokuqondisa indlela yokukhulisa umntwana, kuhlanganise nemfundo yomntwana yasesikoleni nengokwenkolo.

Umntwana naye unelungelo lokuthola ukuqeqeshwa okunjalo kubazali bakhe. Ngaphambi kokuba ijaji lingenele ngokomthetho ekuqeqeshweni komntwana ngokwenkolo, inkantolo kumelwe ilalele ubufakazi obuqand’ikhanda bokuthi “imikhuba ethile engokwenkolo ingaba yingozi esheshayo futhi enkulu enhlalakahleni yomntwana engokomzimba.” (Omalukeke sizenzele.) Ukungavumelani nje okuncane ngenkolo, noma ngisho nokungezwani kwabazali ngenkolo, akwanele ukugunyaza ukungenela kukaHulumeni.

ENebraska, e-U.S.A., ukuma okubonisa ukuhluzeka kwengqondo okwathathwa umama othile ongomunye woFakazi BakaJehova ecaleni lokuwinwa kwabantwana kubonisa indlela lamalungiselelo angokomthetho abavikela ngayo abazali nabantwana. Uyise womntwana ongeyena uFakazi wayengafuni ukuba indodakazi yabo iye ezinkonzweni ezingokwenkolo zoFakazi BakaJehova eHholo LoMbuso. Inkantolo ephansi yavumelana naye.

Khona-ke, lomama wadlulisela icala eNkantolo Ephakeme yaseNebraska. Wabonisa ukuthi babungekho ubufakazi bengozi engaba khona noma enkulu enhlalakahleni yomntwana kunoma imiphi imisebenzi yoFakazi BakaJehova. Wabonisa “ukuthi ukuba khona nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini engokwenkolo yabo bobabili abazali . . . kwakuzoba isisekelo sokuba umntwana anqume ukuthi iyiphi inkolo ayoyikhetha lapho esemdala, eseqonda ngokwanele.”

Inkantolo ephakeme yasihoxisa isinqumo senkantolo ephansi futhi yaveza ukuthi “lenkantolo [ephansi] yalisebenzisa kabi igunya layo ngokulinganisela ilungelo likamama lokuqondisa indlela engokwenkolo yokukhulisa umntanakhe osakhula.” Babungekho nhlobo ubufakazi bokuthi lomntwana wayelimala ngokuba khona ezinkonzweni ezingokwenkolo eHholo LoMbuso LoFakazi BakaJehova.

Amalungelo Abazali Abangamwinanga Umntwana

Ngezinye izikhathi, abazali abahlukanisile bazama ukusebenzisa ukuqeqesha okungokwenkolo njengezaba zokuwina abantwana. Ngokwesibonelo, ecaleni lika-Khalsa v. Khalsa, esifundazweni saseNew Mexico, e-U.S.A., bobabili abazali babesenkolweni yamaSikh lapho besashadile. Kodwa ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukanisa, umama wathatha ubuKatolika futhi waqala ukwenqabela abantwana ukuba balandele inkolo yamaSikh.

Uyise wabantwana wathukuthela futhi wafaka icala enkantolo ezama ukuthola igunya elithé xaxa lokuqondisa ukuqeqeshwa kwabantwana ngokwenkolo yamaSikh. Inkantolo ehlaziya amacala yasabela kanjani esicelweni salobaba? Yasenqaba. Lenkantolo yakhipha isinqumo sokuthi “lapho abantwana [benoyise], abanakuhlanganyela ngokuzithandela noma ngokuphoqelelwa kunoma imiphi imisebenzi yamaSikh, kuhlanganise nokuya esontweni, ukuya ezindaweni zokungcebeleka zamaSikh noma ezinkulisa zamaSikh.”

Lobaba wadlulisela icala eCourt of Appeals yaseNew Mexico. Inkantolo ephakeme yavumelana naye futhi yahoxisa isinqumo senkantolo ehlaziya amacala. Inkantolo yamacala adlulisiwe yathi: “Izinkantolo kufanele zinamathele esimisweni sokungakhethi phakathi kwezinkolo, futhi kufanele zingenele kulesi sici esibucayi futhi esivikelwe umthetho kuphela lapho kunobufakazi obucacile nobuqinisekile bokulimala kwabantwana. Ukubekelwa imibandela kulesi sici kuphakamisa inkinga yokuthi imibandela yenkantolo iyogxambukela ngokungemthetho enkululekweni yomzali yokukhulekela noma kucatshangwe ukuthi yenza kanjalo.”

Isinqumo esinjalo sivumelana nezimiso eziningi ezimisiwe emazweni amaningi. Umzali onengqondo uyozicabangela lezi zimiso. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umzali ongumKristu uyosicabangela ngokungathi sína isidingo somntwana sokuba nobudlelwane nabo bobabili abazali, kanye nesibopho somntwana sokudumisa uyise nonina.—Efesu 6:1-3.

Umlamuli Ongaphandle Kwenkantolo

Nakuba ukuba nomlamuli osebenza ngaphandle kwenkantolo kungase kungabi namithetho eqinile njengokuvela phambi kwejaji, umzali akufanele akuthathe kalula. Noma iziphi izivumelwano noma imibandela efinyelelwayo kulenqubo yokuwinwa kwabantwana ingagunyazwa ngezinqumo zasenkantolo. Ngakho-ke, kungaba kuhle ngomzali ukuthintana nommeli wezokuphila komkhaya onokuhlangenwe nakho ukuze aqiniseke ukuthi zonke izindaba eziphathelene nokuwinwa kwabantwana zisingathwa kahle nangendlela efanele.

Umzali ngamunye kufanele azinike ithuba lokuzilungiselela lenqubo yokubonana nomlamuli. Ukuziphatha komzali phakathi nalenqubo kungawuthonya kakhulu umphumela. Ngokuvamile, isehlukaniso sibakhandla kakhulu ngokomzwelo abazali abahlukanisayo kangangokuba bakhohlwa izindaba ezibalulekile: Yini eyoba inzuzo kakhulu kumntwana? Yini umntwana ayidingayo ukuze akhule kahle ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba?

Khumbula ukuthi ngokomthetho, injongo eyinhloko yokuba khona komlamuli akukhona ukusingatha izingxabano ezingokwenkolo noma zomuntu siqu, kodwa ukuthi abazali bangavumelana kanjani futhi benze isivumelwano esizoba yinzuzo kubantwana. Mhlawumbe umzali uyobhekana nokubandlululwa ngokwenkolo noma ngenye indlela, abhekane nemibuzo angayilindele, noma inkulumo ehloselwe ukumthukuthelisa. Ukushiyeka komzali ngamunye kungase kuvezwe obala noma kweqiswe nokweqiswa. Nokho, uma labo abahilelekile behlala behluzekile engqondweni, bangalithola ikhambi.

Ngezinye izikhathi, inqubo yokuba nomlamuli ingase ibonakale idla isikhathi futhi ikhungathekisa. Ngaphandle kwalokho kungaba ukuqulwa kwecala enkantolo isikhathi eside okuhambisana nokuhlanjalazwa emphakathini, izindleko zezimali nomphumela olimaza umntwana. Ngokuqinisekile lokhu akufiseleki. Njengazo zonke izinkinga ezingathi sína ekuphileni, umzali ongumKristu uyoncika emthandazweni lapho ekhetha lenqubo yokuba nomlamuli, ekhumbula isimemo esiphefumulelwe esithi “nikela indlela yakho esandleni sikaJehova, umethembe; yena uzakukwenza.”—IHubo 37:5.

Kodwa kuthiwani uma ikhambi lingafinyeleleki futhi ijaji linikeza omunye umzali ilungelo lokuwina umntwana? Noma kuthiwani uma omunye wabazali abahlukanisayo esusiwe ekuhlanganyeleni nebandla lobuKristu? Umuntu kufanele akubheke kanjani ukuhlanganyela kwabazali bobabili ekunakekeleni umntwana nokuwinwa komntwana umzali oyedwa? Lemibuzo kanye nezimiso zeBhayibheli ezihlobene nayo kuzocatshangelwa esihlokweni esilandelayo.

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Izimfanelo Ezintathu Ezibalulekile

Ijaji lasenkantolo yezindaba zomkhaya i-Phaphama! eyaxoxa nalo lathi phakathi kwezimfanelo ezibalulekile elizibhekayo kumzali kunalezi ezintathu ezilandelayo:

Ukucabangela—ukuzimisela ukunikeza omunye umzali amathuba agcwele okuba nobudlelwane nomntwana (lapho kungekho songo ngokomzimba noma ngokokuziphatha umntwana angabhekana nalo)

Uzwela—ukuqaphela izidingo zomntwana ezingokomzwelo

Ukuzithiba—ukuphila komkhaya okulinganiselayo okuyoletha isimo esinokuthula umntwana angakhula kahle kuso

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Iziqondiso Zokwahlulela

Ngokubeka iziqondiso, amanye amajaji aye azama ukuvimbela izingxabano ezingadingekile eziphathelene nezindinganiso zomzali ezingokwenkolo. Ngokwesibonelo:

1. Kufanele kukhuthazwe ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi komntwana nabo bobabili abazali. UMahlulel’uJohn Sopinka weNkantolo Ephakeme yaseCanada waphawula ukuthi umzali ngamunye kufanele avunyelwe “ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini eyenza kubonakale lokho umzali ayikho ngempela [kuhlanganise nezici zenkolo yakhe]. Umzali onamalungelo okuvakashela umntwana akulindelekile ukuba azenzise noma aphile ngokukhohlisa lapho evakashele umntwana.”

2. Ukwenqabela umzali onamalungelo okuvakashela umntwana ukufundisa umntwana izinkolelo zakhe ezingokwenkolo kuwukwephula inkululeko yomzali engokwenkolo, ngaphandle kwalapho kunobufakazi obucacile nobuqinisekile bokuthi nakanjani umntwana uzolimala.

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Amajaji anomthwalo wemfanelo onzima emacaleni okuwinwa kwabantwana

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Umlamuli angasiza abazali ukuba baxazulule izingxabano ngaphandle kokuqulwa kwecala isikhathi eside