Umshado Uyahlaselwa

KUKHONA izindaba ezinhle nezindaba ezimbi ngomshado ezweni lanamuhla. Izindaba ezinhle zivela esazini sengqondo saseToronto uDr. Alan Lyall. Watshela umlobeli weToronto Star ukuthi, naphezu kokuthola ukuhlaselwa okuningi eminyakeni yamuva, umshado usuyathandwa futhi. Kungani kumelwe kube njalo? Uyaphendula: “Ngempela ungase ube ngenye yezindlela ezenelisa nezijabulisa kakhulu zokuphila.”

Nokho, izindaba ezimbi ziwukuthi imishado eminingi ingengajabuli neze. Owesifazane osemusha owumhleli wamaphephandaba, lapho ephikisana nomshado ngokwawo, wathi: “Lapho ngibheka imishado, ngokuvamile engikubonayo ubuhlungu. Futhi iqiniso ngokuzwa ubuhlungu liwukuthi uzizwa kangcono kakhulu lapho bunqamuka.” Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi umshado uyindlela eyanelisayo yokujabulela ukuphila noma umane nje uwumthombo wobuhlungu?

Ubuhlungu nokukhathazeka emishadweni ethile akunakuphikwa. Bubonakala ngenani eliphakeme lamadivosi emazweni idivosi evunyelwe kuwo. EUnited States inani lamadivosi laphindwa kathathu eminyakeni engamashumi amabili edlule. ESoviet Union umshado owodwa kwemithathu uphela ngedivosi. EAustralia inani lamadivosi liye laphindwa kane onyakeni owodwa lapho umthetho omusha wedivosi umiswa. NgokweFinancial Times yaseLondon, inani eliphakamayo ledivosi eNgilandi libiza cishe amaRandi ayizinkulungwane ezimbili zezigidi ngonyaka ekukhokheleni abafazi abadivosiwe nabantwana.

Kungani kukhona usizi olungaka emshadweni?

Akekho Umuntu Ophelele

Obunye ubunzima buwukuthi akekho umuntu ophelele. Sonke sinezejwayezi ezibacasulayo abanye. Lapho sibona abantu ngezikhathi ezithile nje kuphela, lezozejwayezi azibalulekile kangako. Kodwa lapho siphila nomuntu emshadweni, zingase zikhule kakhulu ngempela. Zingase ziphumele ekukhonondeni okubulalayo. Noma ubuhlobo bungonakaliswa ubudlova. Ngokwesibonelo, eCanada, umfazi oyedwa kwabayishumi kubikwa ukuthi ushaywa umyeni wakhe.

Ukungafani kobuntu, noma imigomo, kungase kubangele izinkinga ezinkulu. Kwenzekani lapho umuntu okhulumela-futhi eshada nothile okhetha ukuzithulela? Noma uma omunye umngane womshado ebheka izimpahla ezibonakalayo njengezibaluleke kakhulu kunomunye? Mhlawumbe umfazi angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ulahlekelwa yisithunzi uma umyeni wakhe engamgcini enethezeke ngendlela efana nayeyijabulela emzini kayise. Noma indoda ingase ichithe amahora amaningi isemsebenzini ishiya umkayo eyedwa, imbangela ukuba azizwe enesizungu.

Ubudakwa bungenye imbangela eyinhloko yokwahlukana komshado. Kungokufanayo nangokuziphatha okubi. Abanye, esizukulwaneni sanamuhla esidelelayo, banomuzwa wokuthi ukungathembeki ngezinye izikhathi kungase kuzuzise. Kodwa abacwaningi bathi: “Ukungathembeki akusebenzi. Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi ukuphinga kungase kunandise umshado, kodwa ukuphinga ngazo zonke izikhathi kwakuwuphawu lwezinkinga ezingokoqobo. Kwakungeyona neze into engazwisi buhlungu.” Usekela lokhu, umbiko waseNgilandi wabonisa ukuphinga njengesinye sezizathu eziyinhloko zokudivosa lapho. Ngempela, isiphingi ‘sichitha umphefumulo waso.’—IzAga 6:32.

Futhi, uke wayicabangela yini indlela umnotho owohlokayo ongawonakalisa ngayo umshado? Lapho bobabili indoda nomfazi beya emsebenzini—njengoba abaningi benze njalo namuhla—umkhaya uvama ukwehlukana. Futhi lapho umbhangqwana ungena shí ezikweletini, ngokuvamile umphumela uba ukushaqeka, ukudabuka nokubekana amacala.

Futhi, ukuthambekela kwabantu abaningi namuhla kokwenza ‘lokho abakuthandayo’ kwenza buthakathaka ukuqina komshado. Imibhangqwana ikuthola kunzima ukuzifanelanisa nalokho omunye akuthandayo nangakuthandiyo. Ngokuvamile balindela inkululeko efanayo emshadweni naleyo ababenayo bengakashadi. Abantu abashadile abangakwazi ukuhlakulela isimo sokupha banenkinga engathi sína.

Khona-ke izihlobo zingase zibe yinkinga, ikakhulukazi kulawomazwe lapho umshado ubhekwa njengokuhlangana kwemikhaya emibili kunokuba nje okwabantu ababili. Ezindaweni ezinjalo ukucindezela okuvela ezihlotsheni kungase kube namandla. Umama wendoda angase azenze ingqongqo kangangokuba kube nguye inhloko, esikhundleni sokuba umyeni womfazi. Noma mhlawumbe abazali bentombazane bangaphikelela beyitshela lokho okumelwe ikwenze, esikhundleni sokuyekela umbhangqwana omusha uziphilele ngendlela yawo.

Lezi ezinye zezinkinga imibhangqwana ebhekana nazo lapho ishada. Ngakho-ke, ngokuqinisekile singasho ukuthi umshado usengaphansi kokuhlaselwa, usengaphansi kokucindezelwa okukhulu. Ingabe uyosinda? Yebo, umshado njengento emisiwe uyosinda, ngoba ngempela ungase ube “ngenye yezindlela ezenelisa nezijabulisa kakhulu zokuphila.” Kodwa ngokusobala imishado ethile ingase ibe izinkubela empini. Ingabe uyayazi indlela yokugwema lomphumela ongajabulisi?

[Isithombe ekhasini 3]

UBUDAKWA

UKUNGATHEMBEKI

IZINTO EZIBONAKALAYO

UKUCINDEZELA OKUVELA EZIHLOTSHENI

IZIKWELETI