Indlela Yokubonisa Inhlonipho Lapho Uthumela Imiyalezo

INSELELE

Njengoba usakhuluma nomngane wakho, kungena umyalezo kumakhalekhukhwini. Yini okufanele uyenze?

1. Ukufunda umyalezo nakuba usakhuluma nomngane wakho.

2. Ukucela “uxolo” kumngane wakho bese ufunda umyalezo.

3. Ukuvele uwuzibe lowo myalezo futhi uqhubeke ukhuluma nomngane wakho.

Ingabe kunendaba ukuthi ikuphi okhetha ukukwenza kulokhu okuthathu? Impendulo inguyebo!

OKUFANELE UKWAZI

Ukuthumelelana imiyalezo nomunye umngane lapho usakhuluma nomunye, kunjengokudlala umdlalo owuthandayo ngaphandle kokulandela imithetho yawo. Ungase uthi, ‘Kodwa abangane bami laba.’ Yileso sizathu kanye okufanele sikwenze ube nenhlonipho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uqine kakhulu futhi ungangeneki. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi: Uma ungabahloniphi abangane bakho, bayogcina bekulahlekele.

Kungani kunjalo? Kungenxa yokuthi abantu abakuthandi ukuphathwa ngendlela yokwedelela. Intokazi okuthiwa uBetha ithi: “Kuyacasula lapho ngikhuluma nomngane ohlale echofozana nomakhalekhukhwini, sengathi kunokuthile okungcono akulindele!” Ucabanga ukuthi uBeth angambekezelela isikhathi esingakanani umngane onjalo?

Ucabanga ngokuhlonipha abanye lapho usebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini, bheka lokho okwenzeka ngaphansi kwesihlokwana esithi “Inselele.” Ikuphi wena okubona kungcono? Cishe uyabona ukuthi u-A uwukungahloniphi. Kodwa kuthiwani ngo-B no-C? Akukhona yini ukuba luhlaza ukuphazamisa ingxoxo ukuze nje ufunde umyalezo? Noma, ingabe kuwukuba luhlaza ukuwuziba umyalezo ukuze uqhubeke nengxoxo?

Njengoba ubona, ukuba nenhlonipho kungase kube yinselele. Kodwa iBhayibheli lingasiza. Lithi: “Leyo ndlela enifuna abantu benze ngayo kini, yenzani kanjalo nani kubo.” (Luka 6:31) Ungasisebenzisa lesi seluleko ngokuphathelene nemiyalezo. Kanjani?

ONGAKWENZA

Bhala imiyalezo ngezikhathi ezifanelekile. Insizwa okuthiwa uRichard ithi: “Ngezinye izikhathi ngithola umyalezo ebusuku ngempela. Kusuke kungewona ngisho nomyalezo obalulekile, futhi uyangiphazamisa ebuthongweni bami.” Zibuze, ‘Ingabe ngithumelela abantu imiyalezo ngesikhathi okungenzeka ukuthi baphumule ngaso?’—Isimiso seBhayibheli: UmShumayeli 3:1.

Hlola indlela ozwakala ngayo. Ukukhulumisana kudluliselwa ngamagama, ngesimo sezwi, isimo sobuso nangokushukuma komzimba. Ngeshwa, eziningi zalezi zici azibonakali uma ubhala umyalezo. Ungasigcwalisa kanjani leso sikhala? Intokazi okuthiwa uJasmine isikisela lokhu: “Yiba nobuntu endleleni okhuluma ngayo. Buza ukuthi ‘unjani?,’ futhi usebenzise amagama anjengelithi ‘ngiyacela,’ nelithi ‘ngiyabonga.’” —Isimiso seBhayibheli: Kolose 4:6.

Yahlulela kahle. Ake uphinde ubheke ngaphansi kwesithi “Inselele.” Uma kunomyalezo obalulekile owulindele, kungase kudingeke ucele uxolo njengoba nixoxa. Kodwa, ngokuvamile umyalezo ungalinda. U-Amy oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala uthi: “Ucingo lwakho luyobe lusekhona ngemva kokuxoxa nomngane wakho, kodwa umngane wakho kungenzeka uyobe esehambile lapho uqeda ukubhala umyalezo.” Ungasebenzisa ukwahlulela okufanayo lapho usembuthanweni. UJane oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala uthi: “Ungahlale ubhala imiyalezo njalo. Lokho kunjengokungathi uthi kubantu ‘Anginandaba nani; ngingamane ngiziyele kwenye indawo.’”

Cabanga ngaphambi kokuba uwuthumele umyalezo. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi umyalezo wakho uqondwe ngokungeyikho? Ingabe izimpawu zokuveza imizwa ezinjengemifanekiso yopopayi ziyodlulisela umuzwa ofanele? U-Amber oneminyaka engu-21 uthi, “Uma kuwukuthi wenza ihlaya nje ngendaba ethile, faka umfanekiso kapopayi omomothekayo. Abantu bayalimala ngokomzwelo futhi kungase kuqale nezingxabano, ngenxa yokuthi bathatha izinkulumo ezingasho lutho bazifake enhliziyweni.”—Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 12:18.

Kusobala ukuthi ukuba nenhlonipho lapho usebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini kubaluleke ngempela!

Ongacabanga ngakho: Inhlonipho efanele isekelwe othandweni. Leyo mfanelo iboniswa kanjani? IBhayibheli lithi: “Uthando luyabekezela futhi lunomusa. Uthando alunamhawu, aluzigabisi, aluzikhukhumezi, aluziphathi ngokuhlazisayo, aluzifuneli izinzuzo zalo siqu, alucasuki.” (1 Korinte 13:4, 5) Isiphi isici semfanelo yothando okufanele usithuthukise?