Ukukhulisa Izingane Ezisathomba—Indima Efezwa Ukuhlakanipha
“Sizama kanzima ukuqondisa indodana nendodakazi yethu, kodwa kuvele kube sengathi sibathethisa njalo. Ngezinye izikhathi siye sizibuze ukuthi sibafundisa ukuba bazethembe yini noma cha. Ukulinganisela kuyinselele ngempela.”—UGeorge noLauren base-Australia.
UKUKHULISA ingane esathomba akulula. Ngaphandle kokubhekana nezinselele ezintsha ezibangelwa yizingane zabo, abazali bangase bakhathazeke nangokuthi indodana noma indodakazi yabo iyakhula. Ubaba wase-Australia okuthiwa uFrank uyavuma: “Ukuqaphela nje ukuthi ngelinye ilanga izingane zethu zizohamba kubuhlungu. Akulula ukwamukela ukuthi awusakulawuli ukuphila kwazo.”
ULia, ocashunwe ekuqaleni kwalolu chungechunge, uyavuma. Uthi: “Kunzima ukuphatha indodana yami njengosemusha okhulile, ngenxa yokuthi ngisayibheka njengomfanyana wami. Kusengathi bekuyizolo lokhu uma iqala ukuya esikoleni!”
Nakuba kungase kube nzima ukukwamukela, izingane ezisathomba azisebona abantwana abancane. ‘Ziqeqeshelwa ukuba abantu abadala’ futhi abazali bangothisha nabagqugquzeli bazo. Kodwa njengoba uGeorge noLauren besho ngenhla, abazali banamandla okwakha nokubhidliza ukuzethemba kwengane. Abazali bangalinganisela kanjani? IBhayibheli liqukethe iseluleko esiwusizo. (Isaya 48:17, 18) Ake sicabangele izibonelo ezithile.
Ukukhulumisana Okuhle Kubalulekile
IBhayibheli litshela amaKristu ukuba “asheshe ukuzwa” futhi “ephuze ukukhuluma.” (Jakobe 1:19) Nakuba lesi seluleko sisihle uma umuntu esebenzelana nezingane zanoma ibuphi ubudala, ukuzwa—noma ukulalela—kubaluleke kakhulu lapho usebenzelana nezingane ezisathomba. Futhi kungase kudinge umzamo omkhulu.
Ubaba waseBrithani okuthiwa uPeter, uthi: “Kwadingeka ukuba ngithuthukise amakhono ami okukhulumisana lapho amadodana ami eva eshumini nambili. Lapho esemancane, mina nomkami sasiwatshela ukuthi enzeni, futhi ayelalela. Kodwa njengoba esekhulile, kufanele sibonisane nawo, futhi siwavumele ukuba asebenzise amakhono awo okucabanga ukuze axazulule izinkinga. Ngamanye amazwi, kufanele sifinyelele inhliziyo.”—2 Thimothewu 3:14.
Ukulalela kubaluleke kakhulu uma kunengxabano. (IzAga 17:27) UDanielle waseBrithani, wathola ukuthi kunjalo esimweni sakhe. Uyalandisa: “Nganginenkinga ngendlela enye yamadodakazi ami eyayingiphendula ngayo uma ngiyicela ukuba yenze okuthile. Kodwa yangitshela ukuthi ngiyathetha futhi ngiyathanda ukuthuma. Salungisa le ngxabano ngokuhlala phansi futhi salalelana ngempela. Yachaza indlela engikhuluma nayo ngayo nendlela okwakuyenza izizwe ngayo, nami ngayichazela ngombono wami nendlela engizizwa ngayo.”
UDanielle wathola ukuthi ‘ukushesha ukuzwa’ kwamsiza ukuba aqonde umnyombo wenkinga. Wathi: “Manje ngizama ukuba nesineke ngendodakazi yami, futhi ngizama ukukhuluma nayo kuphela uma ngingathukuthele.” Wanezela: “Ubuhlobo bethu buba ngcono.”
IzAga 18:13 zithi: “Lapho umuntu ephendula indaba ngaphambi kokuba ayizwe, lokho kungubuwula kuye nokululazeka.” UGreg wase-Australia, ongubaba, wakuthola kuyiqiniso lokho. Uthi: “Ngezinye izikhathi sixabana nezingane zethu uma sizishumayeza esikhundleni sokuqale silalele futhi sizwe indlela ezizizwa ngayo. Ngisho noma singavumelani nhlobo nombono wazo, sithole ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba sizivumele ziveze imizwa yazo ngaphambi kokuba sinikeze isiqondiso esidingekayo noma iseluleko.”
Kufanele Zinikwe Inkululeko Engakanani?
Mhlawumbe umsuka ovamile wezingxabano phakathi kwabazali nentsha uphathelene nokuzimela. Osemusha kufanele anikwe inkululeko engakanani? Ubaba othile uthi: “Ngezinye izikhathi ngiba nomuzwa wokuthi uma nginika indodakazi yami isandla, yona ifuna ingalo yonke.”
Ngokusobala, ukunika intsha inkululeko engenamingcele kuyoletha imiphumela emibi. Empeleni, iBhayibheli lixwayisa ngokuthi “umntwana oyekwayo uyobangela unina amahloni.” (IzAga 29:15) Intsha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingakanani, idinga iziqondiso eziqinile, futhi abazali kufanele babe nothando kodwa bangaguquguquki lapho beshaya imithetho yasekhaya. (Efesu 6:4) Ngesikhathi esifanayo, intsha kudingeka inikezwe inkululeko ethile ukuze ikulungele kangcono ukwenza izinqumo ezihlakaniphile kamuva ekuphileni.
Ngokwesibonelo, ake ucabange ngendlela owafunda ngayo ukuhamba. Ekuqaleni, lapho usewumntwana, kwakufanele ugonwe. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, waqala ukukhasa wabe usucathula. Kuyiqiniso, ukukwazi ukuzihambela kungaba ingozi kumntwana omncane. Ngakho, abazali bakho babehlale bekubhekile futhi kungenzeka nokuthi kwakudingeka babeke imigoqo yokukuvimbela ezindaweni eziyingozi njengezitebhisi. Noma kunjalo, bakuvumela ukuba uzihambele, ukuze ngokuhamba kwesikhathi—ngemva kokuwa okungenakugwenywa izikhathi eziningi—ukwazi ukuzihambela kalula.
Ukuthola ilungelo lokuzimela kuhilela inqubo efanayo. Ekuqaleni, abazali bayazigona izingane zabo ezincane. Bakwenza lokhu ngokuzinqumela izingane zabo. Kamuva, njengoba izingane zibonisa ukuvuthwa ngokwezinga elithile, kunjengokungathi abazali bayazivumela ukuba zikhase. Bayazivumela ukuba zizikhethele izinto ezithile. Nakuba kunjalo, imingcele ihlala ikhona, futhi ivikela intsha engozini. Njengoba izingane zabo zivuthwa, abazali bayazivumela ukuba “zizihambele” ngaphandle kokusizwa. Khona-ke, lapho ziba abantu abadala, ziyokwazi ‘ukuzithwalela imithwalo yazo’ ngokugcwele.—Galathiya 6:5.
Ukufunda Ezibonelweni ZeBhayibheli
Ngokusobala, lapho uJesu esemusha, abazali bakhe bamnikeza izinga elithile lenkululeko, kodwa akazange akusebenzise kabi ukwethenjwa ayeboniswe kona. Kunalokho, “waqhubeka ezithoba” kubazali bakhe ‘njengoba ethuthuka ekuhlakanipheni nasekukhuleni ngokomzimba nasemseni kaNkulunkulu nowabantu.’—Luka 2:51, 52.
Njengomzali, ungafunda kulesi sibonelo futhi unikeze abantwana bakho inkululeko ethe xaxa njengoba bezibonakalisa ukuthi bayakwazi ukuyisebenzisa kahle. Phawula ukuthi abanye abazali bathini ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngokuqondene nalokhu.
“Ngangivame ukuzigaxa kakhulu ezintweni ezenziwa yizingane zami. Kamuva, ngazifundisa izimiso ngaziyeka zazenzela izinqumo ngokwalokho ezazikufundile. Ngemva kwalokho, ngaphawula ukuthi zaqala ukuzihlolisisa kahle izinqumo zazo.”—USoo Hyun, eKorea.
“Mina nomyeni wami sihlale sikhathazekile, kodwa asikuvumeli lokhu ukuba kuvimbele abantwana bethu ukusebenzisa inkululeko abayisebenzele ngendlela efanele.”—UDaria, eBrazil.
“Ngikuthole kubalulekile ukuyincoma indodana yami eyibhobhodleyana ngendlela eyisebenzisa kahle ngayo inkululeko engiyinikeze yona. Nami ngiyakwenza lokho engiyitshela ukuba ikwenze. Ngokwesibonelo, ngiyayitshela ukuthi ngiyaphi nokuthi ngiyokwenzani. Uma ngishiywa yisikhathi, ngiyayitshela.”—U-Anna, e-Italy.
“Ekhaya siyagcizelela emadodaneni ethu ukuthi awanalo ilungelo lokufuna inkululeko kodwa iyinto okufanele azibonise ukuthi ayayifanelekela.”—UPeter, eBrithani.
Ukubhekana Nemiphumela
IBhayibheli lithi: “Kuhle ngendoda enamandla ukuba ithwale ijoka ebusheni bayo.” (IsiLilo 3:27) Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu intsha engathwala ngayo ijoka lomthwalo wemfanelo ukufunda kokuhlangenwe nakho ukuthi la mazwi ayiqiniso: “Noma yini umuntu ayihlwanyelayo, uyovuna yona futhi.”—Galathiya 6:7.
Benezinhloso ezinhle, abanye abazali bavikela izingane zabo emiphumeleni yezenzo zazo zokungahlakaniphi. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi indodana yakho ingena esikweletini ngenxa yokusebenzisa imali ngokungenangqondo. Yisiphi isifundo eyosifunda uma ubaba nomama bevele basikhokhe? Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ibiyofunda siphi isifundo uma abazali bayo beyisiza ukuba yenze uhlelo lokusikhokha ngokwayo leso sikweleti?
Abazali basuke bengazisizi izingane zabo lapho bengazivumeli ukuba zifunde emiphumeleni yokuziphatha okungenangqondo. Kunokuba kuziqeqeshele ikusasa, lokhu kumane nje kuzifundise ukuthi kunothile oyohlale ekulungele ukuzitakula, alungise umonakalo futhi asibekele amaphutha azo. Kungcono kakhulu ukunikeza intsha ithuba lokuvuna lokho ekutshalile futhi ifunde indlela yokuxazulula izinkinga zayo. Lokhu kuyisici esibalulekile ‘sokuqeqesha amandla ayo okuqonda ukuze ihlukanise okulungile nokungalungile.’—Hebheru 5:14.
‘Umuntu Oshintshayo, Osakhula’
Akungabazeki ukuthi abazali bezingane ezisenkathini yokuthomba babhekene nenselele. Ngezinye izikhathi, bayokhala izinyembezi ngenxa yokucindezeleka njengoba bezama ukukhulisa izingane zabo ‘ngokuqondisa umqondo kukaJehova.’—Efesu 6:4.
Ekugcineni, ukukhulisa abantwana ngendlela ephumelelayo, akukhona ukulawula abantwana nje, kodwa kuwukufundisa nokugxilisa izindinganiso zokuziphatha ezifanele. (Duteronomi 6:6-9) Ingabe kulula ukukusho lokhu kunokukwenza? Impela. UGreg, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Sibhekene nomuntu oshintshayo, osakhula. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kufanele siqhubeke sizama ukumazi futhi sizivumelanise nobuntu bakhe obusha.”
Lwela ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli okukhulunywe ngazo kulesi sihloko. Yiba nokulinganisela kulokho okulindele ezinganeni zakho. Kodwa ungalokothi ulahle indima yakho njengesibonelo esiyinhloko ekuphileni kwazo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Qeqesha umntwana ngokwendlela emfanele; ngisho nalapho ekhula ngeke aphambuke kuyo.”—IzAga 22:6.
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 7]
Ukuthola ilungelo lokuzimela kunjengokufunda ukucathula—kuyinqubo eyenzeka kancane kancane
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 8]
Lapho uJesu esemusha, wanikezwa izinga elithile lenkululeko
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]
‘Ukugcizelela Igunya Lakho’
Iqiniso lokuthi ingane yakho ingase iyicasukele imingcele oyibekayo alisho ukuthi kufanele ulahle igunya lakho. Khumbula, intsha ayinalwazi ekuphileni futhi isadinga isiqondiso.—IzAga 22:15.
Encwadini yakhe ethi New Parent Power! uJohn Rosemond uyabhala: “Kulula ukuba abazali bazivumele ukuba besatshiswe ukuphatheka kabi kwezingane zabo bese beqala ukuzinika imithwalo engaphezu kwaleyo ezingayisingatha ukuze bagweme izingxabano. Kudingeka benze okuphambene nalokho. Lesi yisikhathi sokugcizelela igunya lakho kunokuba uvumele izingane ukuba zililulaze. Nakuba ziyomelana nalokhu ngokuqinisekile, kodwa yisikhathi sokuba izingane zazi nokuthi ukhona omunye umuntu okulungele ukuqondisa isimo ngaphandle kwazo.”
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 9]
Ukuzinikeza Inkululeko Eyengeziwe
Ngokuvamile intsha ifuna inkululeko engaphezu kwaleyo okufanele ibe nayo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abanye abazali bavame ukuyincisha inkululeko efanele. Kufanele kulinganiselwe phakathi kwalokhu kokubili. Kungenziwa kanjani? Okokuqala, ungase uthande ukucabangela uhlu olungezansi. Kukuziphi izici indodana noma indodakazi yakho ebonakala yenza kahle kuzo?
□ Abangane ebakhethayo
□ Izingubo ezikhethayo
□ Ukusebenzisa imali
□ Ukufika ngesikhathi esibekelwe
□ Ukuqeda imisebenzi yayo
□ Ukwenza umsebenzi wesikole
□ Ukuxolisa ngamaphutha
□ Okunye ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․
Uma ingane yakho kakade ibonisa ukuvuthwa kweziningi zezinto ezingenhla, kungani ungacabangeli ezinye izindlela ongayiphathisa ngazo imithwalo ethe xaxa?
[Isithombe ekhasini 7]
Zivumele ukuba ziveze imizwa yazo ngaphambi kokuba unikeze isiqondiso esidingekayo noma iseluleko
[Isithombe ekhasini 8, 9]
Abazali kudingeka bafundise izingane zabo ukuba zibe nokwethenjelwa