Sonke Siyabadinga Abangane
“Umngane umuntu onga-khuluma naye ngokukhululekile nganoma yini, umuntu onga-mshayela ucingo nganoma isiphi isikhathi sosuku.”—UYaël, eFrance
“Umngane uyakuqonda lapho ungaphathekile kahle futhi uzizwa ngendlela efanayo ngaphakathi kuye ngendlela nawe ozizwa ngayo.”—UGaëlle, eFrance
“KUKHONA umngane onamathela ngaphezu komfowenu.” (IzAga 18:24) Kusukela la mazwi alotshwa eBhayibhelini eminyakeni engaba ngu-3 000 edlule, ubuntu bomuntu abukashintshi. Ubungane busabaluleke kakhulu empilweni yomuntu njengokudla namanzi emzimbeni wakhe. Noma kunjalo, kwabaningi, ukwanelisa lesi sidingo esiyisisekelo sokuba nabangane akulula. Kwande isizungu. UCarin Rubenstein noPhillip Shaver, encwadini yabo ethi In Search of Intimacy, bathi: “Akudingeki nokuba size sinwaye amakhanda ukuze sithole ezinye zezimbangela zalokhu.” Babalula izici ‘ezinjengokugcogcoma okwandile’—ukushintshashintsha kwabantu izindawo zokuhlala—“amadolobha angenabuntu, nagcwele ubugebengu,” kanye “nokuntuleka kokuxhumana kwabantu ngenxa yethelevishini nama-video abukelwa ekhaya.”
Ukuphila kwanamuhla kudla nesikhathi sethu namandla ethu. ULetty Pogrebin encwadini yakhe ethi Among Friends uthi: “Umuntu wanamuhla ohlala edolobheni ubona abantu abaningi ngesonto ngaphezu kwalabo umuntu owayehlala emizaneni yekhulu le-17 leminyaka ayebabona ngonyaka noma ngisho nakukho konke ukuphila kwakhe.” Njengoba kungenzeka ukuthi sazi abantu ababalelwa emakhulwini, kungase kube nzima ukugxila kwabathile isikhathi eside ngokwanele kuze kwakheke ubungane futhi sibulondoloze.
Ngisho nasezindaweni lapho zolo lokhu ukuphila bekungematasa kangako kuzo, izimo zenhlalo zishintsha ngokushesha. U-Ulla ohlala eMpumalanga Yurophu uthi: “Sasivame ukuzizwa sisondelene kakhulu impela nabangane bethu. Kodwa manje abaningi bangene ngomkhono nesiphanga emisebenzini noma eminakweni yabo. Wonke umuntu uhlala ematasa, futhi siyezwa ukuthi ubungane bethu obudala buya ngokuya buphela.” Ngenxa yokuba matasa kwezikhathi zethu, ubungane bungase buphelelwe ukubaluleka kwabo.
Kodwa isidingo sokuba nabangane siyaqhubeka sinamandla. Ikakhulukazi intsha isizwa ngokujulile lesi sidingo. Njengoba uYaël, ocashunwe ngenhla, echaza, “lapho usemusha, ufuna ukuzizwa wamukeleka, udingeka, futhi usondelene nomuntu othile.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sibadala noma sibasha, sonke sifuna ukwakha ubungane obujabulisayo nobugculisayo. Naphezu kwezinselele, kunokuningi esingakwenza ukuze sibe nabangane bangempela futhi sibalondoloze. Lokhu kuzocatshangelwa ezihlokweni ezilandelayo.