Ukulawula Uvalo Lokuba Phakathi Kwabantu

“Into ebaluleke kakhulu abantu abanovalo okufanele bayikhumbule ukuthi ukuphazamiseka ngenxa yokwesaba kuyelapheka. Akuyona into okumelwe baphile nayo.” —Dkt. Chris Sletten.

NGOKUJABULISAYO, abantu abaningi abanovalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu baye basizwa ukuba badambise ukukhathazeka kwabo nokuba babhekane nezimo zenhlalo asebeneminyaka eminingi bezesaba. Uma wesaba ukuba phakathi kwabantu, qiniseka ukuthi nawe ungazifunda izindlela ezakhayo zokubhekana nale nkinga. Ukuze wenze njalo, kuyodingeka ulawule (1) izimpawu ezivezwa umzimba wakho, (2) izinkolelo onazo ngezimo ozesabayo, (3) nezenzo ezidalwa uvalo onalo.

Izimiso zeBhayibheli zingasiza. Yiqiniso, iZwi likaNkulunkulu aliyona incwadi yezokwelapha, futhi alinayo inkulumo ethi “ukwesaba ukuba phakathi kwabantu.” Nokho, iBhayibheli lingakusiza ukuba ‘ugcine ukuhlakanipha namasu’ lapho ubhekana novalo onalo.—IzAga 3:21; Isaya 48:17.

Ukulawula Izimpawu Onazo

Izimpawu zomzimba zovalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu ziyahlukahluka kumuntu ngamunye. Umzimba wakho usabela kanjani lapho usondela esimweni osesabayo? Ingabe izandla zakho ziyaqhaqhazela? Ingabe inhliziyo yakho ishaya ngamandla? Ingabe uphathwa yisisu? Ingabe uyajuluka noma ube namahloni, noma ingabe umlomo wakho uyoma?

Kuyavunywa ukuthi akujabulisi ukujuluka, ukungingiza, noma ukuthuthumela phambi kwabanye. Kodwa ukukhathazeka ngalokho okungase kwenzeke ngeke kusize. UJesu wabuza kufanele: “Ubani kini ongathi ngokukhathazeka anezele ingalo eyodwa ebudeni besikhathi sakhe sokuphila?” (Mathewu 6:27; qhathanisa nezAga 12:25.) Ngempela, ukugxila ezimpawini onazo nakulokho abanye abangase bakucabange ngazo kuyomane kwenze isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu. “Ukucabanga ukuthi abanye bayabona ukuthi banovalo kwenza abantu abesaba ukuba phakathi kwabanye bakhathazeke nakakhulu,” kusho i-Harvard Mental Health Letter. “Baqala ukulindela ukungakhululeki nokungenzi kahle izinto okuba umphumela—okuyizinto ezibangela ubunzima obengeziwe lapho bebhekene nezimo abazesabayo.”

Ungase ukwazi ukudambisa izimpawu zomzimba wakho ezinamandla ngokuprakthiza ukuphefumula ngokunensa ufaka umoya ontweni. (Bheka ibhokisi elithi “Qaphela Indlela Ophefumula Ngayo!”) Okunye okuwusizo ukuvivinya umzimba njalo nokuphumuza imisipha. (1 Thimothewu 4:8) Kungase kudingeke nokuba ushintshe indlela yokuphila. Ngokwesibonelo, iBhayibheli liyeluleka: “Kungcono ukhweshe lokuthula kunezandla zombili zigcwele umshikashika kanye nokufuna umoya.” (UmShumayeli 4:6) Ngakho qikelela ukuthi uphumula ngokwanele. Ngaphezu kwalokho, qaphela ukudla okudlayo. Ungaphuthelwa isikhathi sokudla noma udle ngezikhathi ezingavamile. Kungase kudingeke ukuba unciphise i-caffeine, engase ibe imbangela enkulu yokukhathazeka.

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, yiba nesineke. (UmShumayeli 7:8) Iqembu elithile lodokotela liyabika: “Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uyoqaphela ukuthi nakuba usengakhathazeka ezimweni ezithile lapho uphakathi kwabantu, izimpawu zakho zomzimba ezinamandla ziyodamba kakhulu. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, lapho uprakthiza, uyozethemba ngokwengeziwe, futhi uyokulungela kangcono ukubhekana nezimo ozesabayo zokusebenzelana nabantu.”

Ukubhekana Nezinkolelo Ezibangelwa Uvalo Lwakho

Kuye kwathiwa awunakuba nomuzwa othile ngaphandle kokuba uqale ngokucabanga. Lokhu kubonakala kuyiqiniso ngokwesaba ukuba phakathi kwabantu. Ngakho, ukuze udambise izimpawu zomzimba wakho, kungase kudingeke ukuba uhlole ‘imicabango ephazamisayo’ ezibangelayo.—IHubo 94:19, qhathanisa ne-NW.

Abanye ochwepheshe bathi empeleni ukwesaba ukuba phakathi kwabantu kuwukwesaba ukungamukeleki. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho esembuthanweni wokuzijabulisa, umuntu onovalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu angase azitshele ukuthi, ‘Ngiyisilima. Kumelwe ukuba abantu bayabona ukuthi angifuneki lapha. Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi bonke abantu bangihleka usulu.’ UTracy owesabayo ukuba phakathi kwabantu wayezizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi wahlolisisa izinto ayezikholelwa. Waqaphela ukuthi abantu babenezinto ezingcono ababezenza ngesikhathi sabo kunokumcosumbula bamgxeke. UTracy waphetha ngokuthi: “Noma ngabe ngikhuluma okuthile okuyisicefe, ingabe kuyafaneleka ukuba othile agxeke ubuntu bami ngenxa yalokho?”

NjengoTracy, kungase kudingeke ulwe nokucabanga okusontekile ngokugxekwa—nobuhlungu bokugxekwa—abathile lapho uphakathi kwabantu. Ingabe sikhona ngempela isizathu esizwakalayo sokuthi abantu bayokuthukuthelela uma izinto ozesaba kakhulu zenzeka ngokoqobo? Ngisho noma abanye bengathukuthela, ingabe sikhona isizathu sokuphetha ngokuthi ngeke ukwazi ukubhekana nalolo vivinyo? Ingabe umbono womunye umuntu uyakushintsha ngempela ukubaluleka kwakho njengomuntu? IBhayibheli leluleka ngokuhlakanipha: “Ungabeki inhliziyo yakho emazwini onke akhulunywayo.”—UmShumayeli 7:21.

Libhala ngokuba novalo phakathi kwabantu, elinye iqembu lodokotela lathi: “Kuphakama izinkinga lapho abantu bekhathazeka ngokweqile ngokungamukeleki okungenakugwenywa ekuphileni. Ukungamukelwa kungadumaza kakhulu. Kungazwisa ubuhlungu ngempela. Kodwa akufanele kukukhungathekise. Akuyona neze inhlekelele uma ungakubheki ngaleyo ndlela.”

IBhayibheli lisisiza ukuba sibe nombono ongokoqobo ngathi ngokwethu. Liyavuma: “Sonke siyakhubeka izikhathi eziningi.” (Jakobe 3:2) Yebo, akukho muntu ongathintwa imiphumela yokungapheleli nokuzibonakalisa kwako okudumazayo ngezinye izikhathi. Ukuqaphela lokhu kusisiza ukuba sibonelele ubuthakathaka babanye, futhi kukhuthaza abanye ukuba nabo basiphathe ngokuqonda okufanayo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, amaKristu ayazi ukuthi okubaluleke ngempela ukwamukeleka kuJehova uNkulunkulu—futhi akagxili emaphutheni ethu.—IHubo 103:13, 14; 130:3.

Ukubhekana Nokwesaba Onakho

Ukuze unqobe uvalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu, kuyodingeka ubhekane nokwesaba kwakho. Okokuqala, kona kanye ukucabanga ngalokhu kungase kubonakale kwethusa. Mhlawumbe kuze kube manje uye wazigwema izimo ezingakubangela uvalo. Nokho, ngokunokwenzeka lokhu kuye kwaqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kwabhebhethekisa ukwesaba onakho. Ngesizathu esihle, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ozahlukanisayo ufuna esakhe isifiso, uphika konke ukuhlakanipha.”—IzAga 18:1.

Ngokuphambene, ukubhekana nokwesaba kwakho kungase kudambise ukukhathazeka kwakho.a UDkt. John R. Marshall uthi: “Abantu esibelaphayo abanovalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu—ikakhulukazi labo abanokwesaba okucacile, njengokukhuluma obala—sivame ukubakhuthaza ukuba baziphoqelele ukuba babe matasa ezimweni nasezinhlanganweni ezidinga ukuba basebenzelane nabantu.”

Ukubhekana nezimo ozesabayo kuyokusiza ubone (1) ukuthi amaphutha adumazayo ngokuvamile ngeke enze abanye ukuba bangakwamukeli nokuthi (2) uma kwenzeka ungamukeleki, lokhu akuyona inhlekelele. Nokho, ukhumbule ukuba nesineke njengoba uthuthuka. Umuntu akalulami ngokuphazima kweso, futhi akunangqondo ukulindela ukuba zonke izimpawu zokushaywa uvalo phakathi kwabantu zinyamalale. NgokukaDkt. Sally Winston, umgomo wokwelashwa awukona ukuqeda izimpawu, kodwa uwukuzidambisa. Uthi uma sezidambile, ziyanyamalala noma okungenani zibe ngcono.

AmaKristu anesizathu esinamandla sokunqoba uvalo ngokuba phakathi kwabantu. Yebo, atshelwa ukuba ‘acabangelane ukuze avuselelane othandweni nasemisebenzini emihle, angakuyeki ukubuthana kwawo ndawonye.’ (Heberu 10:24, 25) Njengoba umsebenzi wobuKristu uhilela ukusebenzelana nabanye, ukuzikhandla ukuze ulawule ukwesaba kwakho ukuba phakathi kwabantu kungayisekela kakhulu intuthuko yakho engokomoya. (Mathewu 28:19, 20; IzEnzo 2:42; 1 Thesalonika 5:14) Beka indaba kuJehova uNkulunkulu ngomthandazo, ngoba angakunikeza “amandla angaphezu kwavamile.” (2 Korinte 4:7; 1 Johane 5:14) Cela uJehova ukuba akusize ube nombono olinganiselayo ngokwamukeleka kwabanye futhi uhlakulele amakhono adingekile okwenza lokho akufunayo.

Kuyavunywa ukuthi izinkinga zomuntu ngamunye onalesi sifo zihlukile, futhi ngamunye uyobhekana nezithiyo ezihlukahlukene, kanti uyoba namandla amqinisayo angafani. Abanye baye bathuthuka kakhulu ngokusebenzisa ukusikisela okuveziwe. Kunezimo lapho kungase kudingeke khona usizo olwengeziwe. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye baye basizwa yimithi.b Abanye baye bafuna usizo lukachwepheshe wempilo yengqondo. I-Phaphama! ayitusi noma igunyaze indlela ethile yokwelapha. Ukuthi umKristu uyakusebenzisa yini ukwelashwa okunjalo kuyisinqumo somuntu siqu. Nokho, kufanele aqaphele ukuthi noma yikuphi ukwelashwa akunikezwayo akungqubuzani nezimiso zeBhayibheli.

Abantu ‘Abanemizwa Efana Neyethu’

IBhayibheli lingaba isikhuthazo esikhulu, ngoba liqukethe izibonelo ezingokoqobo zabantu abanqoba izithiyo ababebhekene nazo ukuze benze lokho uNkulunkulu ayekufuna kubo. Cabangela u-Eliya. Njengomunye wabaprofethi bakwa-Israyeli abavelele, wabonisa isibindi esingaphezu kwesabantu. Nokho, iBhayibheli lisiqinisekisa ukuthi “u-Eliya wayengumuntu onemizwa efana neyethu.” (Jakobe 5:17) Kwakuba nezikhathi ayesaba ngazo futhi akhathazeke kakhulu.—1 AmaKhosi 19:1-4.

Umphostoli ongumKristu uPawulu waya eKorinte “ngobuthakathaka nokwesaba nangokuthuthumela okukhulu,” ngokusobala ewangabaza ngempela amakhono akhe. Futhi akamukelwanga kahle-hle. Yebo, abanye abaphikisi bathi ngoPawulu: “Ukuba khona kwakhe ngesiqu kubuthakathaka nokukhuluma kwakhe kudelelekile.” Nokho, abukho ubufakazi bokuthi uPawulu wavumela imibono yabanye esontekile ukuba ithonye umbono ayenawo ngaye siqu noma ngamakhono akhe.—1 Korinte 2:3-5; 2 Korinte 10:10.

UMose wayengenasibindi sokusondela kuFaro, ethi ‘umlomo wakhe unzima, unamalimi.’ (Eksodusi 4:10) Ngisho nalapho uJehova uNkulunkulu ethembisa ukuthi wayezomsiza, uMose wanxusa: “Cha, Nkosi, ngicela uthume omunye.” (Eksodusi 4:13, Today’s English Version) UMose wayengawaboni amakhono akhe, kodwa uJehova wayewabona. Wayebheka uMose njengokufanelekele ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba ukufeza lesi sabelo. Noma kunjalo, ngothando uJehova wanikeza uMose umsizi. Akazange aphoqelele uMose ukuba abhekane noFaro eyedwa.—Eksodusi 4:14, 15.

UJeremiya naye uyisibonelo esivelele kule ndaba. Lapho ithunywa njengomprofethi kaNkulunkulu, le nsizwa yasabela: “Awu, Nkosi Jehova! Bheka, angikwazi ukukhuluma, ngokuba ngingumntwana.” UJeremiya wayengenawo amandla angokwemvelo okufeza isabelo sakhe. Kodwa-ke, uJehova wamsekela. Wasiza uJeremiya ukuba abe “ngumuzi obiyelweyo, nensika yensimbi, nezingange zethusi ngakulo izwe lonke.”—Jeremiya 1:6, 18, 19.

Ngakho-ke, uma uhlushwa ukwesaba nokukhathazeka, ungaphethi ngokuthi awunalo ukholo noma ukuthi uJehova ukulahlile. Ngokuphambene, “uJehova useduze nabo abanenhliziyo eyaphukileyo; uyabasindisa abanomoya odabukileyo.”—IHubo 34:18.

Yebo, izibonelo zeBhayibheli ezishiwo ngenhla zibonisa ukuthi ngisho nabantu ababenokholo oluqinile babezizwa bengafaneleki. Nakuba ayengafuni okungaphezu kwalokho ngamunye ayengakufinyelela, uJehova wasiza u-Eliya, uPawulu, uMose noJeremiya ukuba bafeze okwengeziwe kunalokho ababengase bakulindele. Njengoba uJehova ‘ekwazi ukubunjwa kwethu, ekhumbula ukuthi siluthuli,’ qiniseka ukuthi nawe angakwenzela okufanayo.—IHubo 103:14.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

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Qaphela Indlela Ophefumula Ngayo!

ABANYE abantu abesabayo ukuba phakathi kwabantu bayakwazi ukunciphisa uvalo ngokuqaphela indlela abaphefumula ngayo. Ekuqaleni, lokhu kungase kuzwakale kuyinqaba. Phela, wonke umuntu uyakwazi ukuphefumula! Kodwa ochwepheshe bathi abantu abaningi abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka abaphefumuli ngendlela efanele. Ngokuvamile, lapho bephefumula, abadonsi umoya ngokwanele, baphefumula ngokushesha kakhulu, noma bafaka umoya kakhulu esifubeni.

Prakthiza ukudonsa nokukhipha umoya ngokunensa. Ukuphefumula ngamakhala kunokuba uphefumule ngomlomo kuyokwenza kube lula lokhu. Futhi, funda ukuphefumula ngokufaka umoya ontweni, njengoba ukufaka umoya esifubeni kwandisa amathuba okucinana. Ukuze uzivivinye kulokhu, lapho umile, beka isandla esisodwa esiswini bese ubeka esinye esifubeni. Lapho uphefumula, phawula ukuthi isiphi isandla esinyakaza kakhulu. Uma kunyakaza kakhulu isandla esisesifubeni, kudingeka uprak­thize ukufaka umoya ontweni.

Yiqiniso, lokhu akusho ukuthi njalo ufake umoya ontweni. (Isilinganiso esivamile sokufaka umoya ontweni noma esifubeni siyizikhathi ezine kwesisodwa, kodwa lokhu kuyohlukahluka ngezinye izikhathi.) Isixwayiso sifanelekile: Labo abanezinkinga zokuphefumula ezingalapheki—njenge-emphysema noma isifuba somoya—kufanele baye kudokotela ngaphambi kokuba basebenzise izindlela ezintsha zokuphefumula.

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Lapho Ukwesaba Kubangela Uvalo

ABANYE abantu abakusabayo ukuba phakathi kwabantu bakhathazeka kakhulu kangangokuba baze babe novalo. Lokhu kwesaba okungalindelekile, okuthena amandla ngokuvamile kushiya isisulu sinephika, singenamandla futhi sicabanga ukuthi inhliziyo yaso iyama.

Ochwepheshe bathi kungcono kakhulu ukungalwi nalowo muzwa. Kunalokho, beluleka isisulu ukuba ‘sidedele’ uvalo luze luphele. UJerilyn Ross uthi: “Awunakuluvimba uma seluqalile. Kumelwe luze luziphelele lona. Qhubeka uzitshela ukuthi luyesabisa, kodwa aluyona ingozi. Luzodlula.”

UMelvin Green, umqondisi wenhlangano eyelapha i-⁠agoraphobia, ufanisa lo muzwa negagasi elincane elisondela ogwini. Uthi: “Lokhu kumelela imizwa yokuqala yokukhathazeka oba nayo. Njengoba leli gagasi lisondela ogwini, liyaqhubeka liba likhulu. Lokhu kumelela ukukhula kwemizwa yakho yokukhathazeka. Ngokushesha leli gagasi liba likhulu kakhulu. Libe selincipha-ke libe lincane lize liphelele ogwini. Lo mfanekiso umelela ukuqala nokuphela kokushaywa uvalo.” UGreen uthi izisulu akufanele zilwe nale mizwa kodwa kufanele ziyikhuthazelele ize idlule.

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Ukuze unciphise ukukhathazeka, qaphela ukudla okudlayo, uvivinye umzimba njalo futhi uphumule ngokwanele

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UJehova wasiza amadoda anjengoMose ukuba afeze okwengeziwe enkonzweni yawo kunalokho ayengase akulindele