Umbono WeBhayibheli

Ingabe Umshado Ungalondolozwa Ngemva Kokungathembeki?

“NGITHI KINI NOMA UBANI OHLUKANISA NOMKAKHE, NGAPHANDLE KWESIZATHU SOBUFEBE, ASHADE NOMUNYE UYAPHINGA.”

—MATHEWU 19:9.

NGALAWO mazwi uJesu Kristu wanikeza umKristu imvume yokukhetha ukuhlukanisa nomngane womshado ongathembekile.a Nokho, kuthiwani uma umngane womshado ongenacala ekhetha ukulondoloza umshado futhi umbhangqwana unquma ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo bawo? Yiziphi izinselele lombhangqwana ozobhekana nazo, futhi ungabhekana kanjani nazo ngokuphumelelayo? Ake sibone ukuthi iBhayibheli lisiza kanjani ekuphenduleni lemibuzo.

Indlu Ebhidlikile

Kumelwe siqale siqonde ubukhulu bomonakalo obangelwa ukungathembeki. Njengoba uJesu Kristu achaza, uMsunguli womshado wayenenjongo yokuba indoda nomfazi ‘bangabe besaba babili, kodwa babe nyamanye.’ Wanezela: “Ngakho-ke, lokho uNkulunkulu akubophele ndawonye ejokeni makungahlukaniswa muntu.” Yebo, umshado uklanyelwe ukuhlanganisa abantu ndawonye. Lapho umuntu ephula isifungo somshado ngokuphinga, kuba nemiphumela ebuhlungu.—Mathewu 19:6; Galathiya 6:7.

Okufakazela lokhu ukucindezeleka umngane womshado ongenacala aba nakho. Imiphumela yokuphinga ingafaniswa neyesiphepho esicekela phansi izindlu. UDkt. Shirley P. Glass waphawula: “Abantu abaningana engiye ngabelapha baye bangitshela ukuthi kwakungaba ngcono kakhulu ukuba umngane wabo womshado wafa.” Kuyavunywa, abanye abaye balahlekelwa abangane babo bomshado ngokufa bangase bangavumelani nalokho. Nokho, kusobala ukuthi ukuphinga kubangela ubuhlungu obunjunjuthayo. Abanye abantu abalulami ngokuphelele ngemva kokungathembeki komngane wabo womshado.

Ngenxa yobuhlungu obunjalo, umuntu angase abuze, ‘Ingabe ukuphinga kumelwe kuwuqede umshado?’ Akunjalo. Amazwi kaJesu ngokuqondene nokuphinga abonisa ukuthi umngane womshado othembekile unokuzikhethela okungokomBhalo kokuhlukanisa kodwa akabophekile ukwenza kanjalo. Eminye imibhangqwana inquma ukwakha kabusha nokuqinisa lokho okwabhidlizeka, ngokwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo—nakuba kungekho lutho oluvuna ukuphinga.

Yiqiniso, kungcono ukwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo emshadweni uma bobabili abangane bomshado bethembekile komunye nomunye. Nokho, ngisho noma kuye kwaba nokungathembeki, abanye abangane bomshado abangenacala bakhetha ukulondoloza umshado. Esikhundleni sokuba asekele isinqumo esinjalo esifisweni esingenasisekelo, umngane womshado ongenacala kufanele acabangisise ngemiphumela. Ngokunokwenzeka uyocabangela izidingo zezingane zakhe kanye nezidingo zakhe ezingokomoya, ezingokomzwelo, ezingokwenyama nezingokwezimali.b Uyokwenza ngokuhlakanipha futhi uma ecabangela ukuthi umshado wakhe usengalondolozwa yini.

Ingabe Umshado Usengalondolozwa?

Ngaphambi kokuba azame ukuvusa indlu ecekelwe phansi isiphepho, umakhi kumelwe athole ukuthi isengavuseka yini. Ngokufanayo, ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo obuye babhidlizwa ukungathembeki, umbhangqwana—ikakhulukazi umngane womshado othembekile—uyofuna ukuhlaziya amathuba okuvuselela ukusondelana nokwethembana emshadweni.

Esinye isici okumelwe sicatshangelwe ukuthi umngane onecala uyakubonisa yini ukuphenduka okuqotho noma kunalokho, usaphinga “enhliziyweni yakhe.” (Mathewu 5:27, 28) Nakuba ethembisa ukushintsha, ingabe uyanqikaza ukwenza isinqumo esiwujuqu sokunqamula ubuhlobo bakhe bokuziphatha okubi? (Eksodusi 20:14; Levitikusi 20:10; Duteronomi 5:18) Ingabe useneso eligijimayo? Ingabe usola umkakhe ngenxa yokuphinga? Uma kunjalo, imizamo yokubuyisela ukwethembana emshadweni ayinakuphumelela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ebunqamula ubuhlobo bakhe obungemthetho, emukela icala ngesenzo sakhe esingalungile, futhi ebonisa ukuthi uzinikele ngenhliziyo yonke ekwakheni kabusha umshado, umkakhe angase abe nesisekelo sokwethemba ukuthi ukwethembana kweqiniso kungabuyiselwa ngelinye ilanga.—Mathewu 5:29.

Futhi, ingabe umngane womshado ongenacala angamthethelela? Lokhu akusho ukuthi umkakhe akufanele azwakalise imizwa yakhe yokulimala ngokujulile ngenxa yokwenzekile noma ukuthi kufanele ashaye sengathi akushintshanga lutho. Kusho ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uyozama ukuba angahlali ebambe amagqubu. Ukuthethelela okunjalo kuthatha isikhathi kodwa kungasiza ekubekeni isisekelo esiqinile okungakhelwa kuso umshado kabusha.

Ukususa “Imfucumfucu”

Ngemva kokuba umngane womshado othembekile esenqume ukulondoloza umshado wabo, yiziphi izinyathelo umbhangqwana ongazithatha? Njengoba nemfucumfucu yendlu ecekelwe phansi isiphepho kumelwe isuswe, “imfucumfucu” esemshadweni nayo kumelwe isuswe. Lokhu kungafezwa ngezinga elikhulu uma umbhangqwana utshelana imizwa yawo. IzAga 15:22 (NW), zithi: “Kukhona ukushafa kwamacebo lapho ingekho khona inkulumo yokubonisana.” Igama lesiHeberu elihunyushwe ngokuthi “inkulumo yokubonisana” libonisa ukusondelana futhi lihunyushwe ngokuthi “iqembu elisondelene” kumaHubo 89:7 (NW). Ngakho-ke akunakuhilela nje ukukhulumisana ngokushwampuluza, kodwa kuhilela ukukhulumisana ngobuqotho lapho bobabili beveza imizwa yabo ejulile.—IzAga 13:10, qhathanisa ne-NW.

Ngokwesibonelo, kwezinye izimo umngane womshado othembekile angase abuze umyeni wakhe imibuzo eyengeziwe. Baqala kanjani lobo buhlobo? Baqhubeka isikhathi eside kangakanani? Ubani omunye owaziyo ngabo? Kuyavunywa, kuyowuzwisa ubuhlungu umbhangqwana ukuxoxa ngalemininingwane. Nokho, umngane womshado othembekile angase athole ukuthi ulwazi olunjalo ludingekile ukuze abuyisele ukwethembana. Uma kunjalo, kungcono kakhulu ukuba umngane womshado ongathembekile aphendule ngobuqotho nangokucabangela. Kufanele achaze indaba ngendlela enothando nenomusa, ekhumbula ukuthi injongo yalokhu kukhulumisana ukwelapha, hhayi ukulimaza. (IzAga 12:18; Efesu 4:25, 26) Bobabili kuyodingeka basebenzise ukuhluzeka kwengqondo, ukuzithiba futhi balalele ngozwela njengoba bezwakalisa imizwa yabo ngokwenzekile.c—IzAga 18:13; 1 Korinte 9:25; 2 Petru 1:6.

Labo abangoFakazi BakaJehova bangase bacele usizo kubadala bebandla. Yiqiniso, kumaKristu, izono ezingathi sína njengokuphinga kumelwe zivunywe ngokushesha kubadala, abakhathalela inhlalakahle engokomoya yombhangqwana nebandla. Kungenzeka ukuthi lapho ehlangana nabadala, umuntu ophingile wabonisa ukuphenduka okuqotho ngaleyo ndlela wavunyelwa ukuba ahlale ebandleni. Esimweni esinjalo, abadala banganikeza bobabili abangane bomshado usizo ngokuqhubekayo.—Jakobe 5:14, 15.

Ukwakha Kabusha

Ngemva kokuba igwebu selehle ngokwanele, umbhangqwana usethubeni elihle lokwakha kabusha izici ezibalulekile zomshado wawo. Ukukhulumisana okuqotho kudingeka ngokuqhubekayo. Lapho kuba nobuthakathaka, kumelwe kwenziwe izinguquko ezifanele.

Isidingo sokwenza izinguquko ngokuyinhloko siyoba phezu komngane womshado onecala. Nokho, umngane womshado othembekile kumelwe afeze eyakhe ingxenye ekuqiniseni izici ezibuthakathaka emshadweni. Lokhu akusho ukuthi ukuphinga kwakuyiphutha lakhe noma ukuthi kungavunwa—asikho isizathu esizwakalayo sokwenza isono esinjalo. (Qhathanisa noGenesise 3:12; 1 Johane 5:3.) Kumane kusho ukuthi kungenzeka kwakunezinkinga emshadweni ezazidinga ukuxazululwa. Ukwakha kabusha kuwumsebenzi wokubambisana. Ingabe sikhona isidingo sokuqinisa izindinganiso nemigomo yenu? Ingabe iye yadebeselelwa imisebenzi engokomoya? Lenqubo yokuthola ubuthakathaka obuphawulekayo nokwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo ibalulekile ekwakheni kabusha umshado obhidlikile.

Ukuwunakekela

Ngisho nendlu eyakhiwe kahle kudingeka inakekelwe njalo. Khona-ke, yeka ukuthi kubaluleke kanjani ukunakekela ubuhlobo obakhiwe kabusha. Umbhangqwana akumelwe uvumele ukuhamba kwesikhathi kudambise ukuzimisela kwawo ukubambelela ezinqumweni zawo ezintsha. Kunokuba udumale lapho ubhekana nezithiyo ezincane, njengokuthiyeka kokukhulumisana, kufanele uthathe izinyathelo ngokushesha ulungise isimo futhi uphokophele phambili.—IzAga 24:16; Galathiya 6:9.

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, indoda nomfazi kufanele benze izinto ezingokomoya zize kuqala, bangalokothi bavumele ezinye izinto, noma umshado wabo, kuthathe indawo yazo. IHubo 127:1 lithi: “Uma uJehova engayakhi indlu, basebenzela ize abayakhayo.” Futhi, uJesu waxwayisa: “Wonke umuntu owezwayo lamazwi ami angawenzi uyofaniswa nendoda eyisiwula, eyakha indlu yayo phezu kwesihlabathi. Lase liyithela imvula futhi kwafika izikhukhula kwavunguza nemimoya yayishaya leyondlu yabhidlika, futhi kwakukukhulu ukuwa kwayo.”—Mathewu 7:24-27.

Yebo, uma izindinganiso zeBhayibheli zishaywa indiva ngoba kunzima ukuzisebenzisa, umshado uyohlala ungavikelekile ovivinyweni olulandelayo lokwethembeka. Nokho, uma indoda nomfazi bebambelela ezindinganisweni zeBhayibheli kuzo zonke izimo, umshado wabo uyoba nesibusiso saphezulu. Futhi bayoba nesisusa esinamandla kunazo zonke sokwethembeka emshadweni—isifiso sokujabulisa uMsunguli womshado, uJehova uNkulunkulu.—Mathewu 22:36-40; UmShumayeli 4:12.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]