Ukubhekana Nokushaywa Uvalo

URobert wayehlezi enethezekile ehhovisi lakhe. Ngokungazelele, inhliziyo yakhe yaqala ukushaya ngamandla. Wahlala waqonda njengoba umjuluko wawehla ugeleza ebunzini lakhe. URobert wayeqiniseka ngokuthi wayehlaselwa isifo senhliziyo! Wathatha ucingo. “Kukhona okungahambi kahle kimi,” ekhefuzela. “Ngizwa sengathi ngizoquleka!”

UROBERT wayeqala ngqá ukushaywa uvalo. Ngokudabukisayo, akugcinanga ngalolo suku. Wahlaselwa umuzwa ofanayo kamuva esethilomu lokudla nasesikhungweni sezitolo. Uvalo lwamshaya ngisho nalapho evakashele abangane bakhe. Ngokushesha, ikhaya kwaba ukuphela kwendawo “eyayilondekile” kuRobert. Kancane kancane, wacindezeleka. Uyavuma: “Ngase ngicabange ngisho nokuzibulala.”

Ezinyangeni eziyisithupha kamuva uRobert wathola isihloko sephephandaba esikhuluma ngokushaywa uvalo ne-agoraphobia. Akufunda kwasindisa ukuphila kwakhe.

Kungani Ushaywa Uvalo?

Ukushaywa uvalo kuyindlela engokwemvelo yokusabela komzimba lapho usengozini. Ake ucabange unqamula emgwaqweni omkhulu. Ngokungazelele ubona imoto iza ngesivinini esikhulu iqonde kuwe. Izinguquko ezisheshaya emzimbeni wakho nakumakhemikhali zikwenza ukwazi ukubaleka uphephe.

Kodwa ake ucabange ngalomuzwa ofanayo wokushaywa uvalo ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo. UDkt. R. Reid Wilson uthi: “Ukushaywa uvalo kwenzeka lapho uvalo lukhohlisa ubuchopho ukuba bucabange ukuthi kunengozi esondelayo. Ake ucabange umi ephasishini esitolo sokudla, ungakhathazi muntu. Qhafa. Kukhala inhlabamkhosi. ‘Seyingene! Zonke izimiso mazilungele impi!’”

Yilabo kuphela abake bashaywa uvalo kanjalo abangawaqonda ngokugcwele amandla alo. Umagazini i-American Health ukuchaza ngokuthi “ukugasela kwe-adrenaline okuhlasela umzimba wakho imizuzu emihlanu noma ihora noma usuku bese kunyamalala ngokushesha nangokungaqondakali okuze ngakho, kukushiye ubuthaka, ukhathele futhi usaba okulandelayo.”

Izimbangela Zokushaywa Uvalo

Ngokuvamile ukushaywa uvalo kuqala lapho umuntu esengumuntu omdala osemusha futhi kuthinta abesifazane abaningi kunamadoda. Kubangelwa yini? Ayikho impendulo esobala. Abanye bathi izisulu zithambekele kukho ngokwemvelo ngenxa yokungasebenzi kahle kwesimiso semizwa sobuchopho. Abaningi banomuzwa wokuthi lesi simo singazuzwa njengefa, kuyilapho abanye bethi ukusebenza kwamakhemikhali obuchopho kushintshwa izici ezibangela ukucindezeleka.

Kwezinye izimo ukushaywa uvalo kubangelwa izinkumbulo zokuhlangenwe nakho okushaqisayo, njengempi, ukudlwengulwa, noma ukuxhashazwa ebuntwaneni. Okunye ukuhlola kwembula ukuthi inani labantu abashaywa uvalo abayizisulu zobuhlobo bobulili phakathi kwezihlobo liphakeme ngokuphindwe izikhathi ezingu-13 kunelabantu abavamile. Ngempela, nakuba ukushaywa uvalo nezinye izifo kuyizinkinga ezinkulu ngokwazo, kungase futhi kube yilokho umlobi u-E. Sue Blume akubiza ngokuthi “isimo esibangelwa ubuhlobo bobulili phakathi kwezihlobo.”

Yiqiniso, akukhona konke ukushaywa uvalo okubangelwa ukushaqeka. Kodwa uDkt. Wayne Kritsberg uxwayisa ngokuthi uma lokhu kunjalo, “ukwelapha imiphumela ebangelwe ukuxhashazwa—kunokwelapha umsuka wokushaqeka—ngeke kuyixazulule unomphela inkinga. Bekuyoba njengokuphuza umuthi wokukhwehlela ukuze welaphe i-pneumonia.”

Ingabe Kungelashwa?

Ukushaywa uvalo kungalawulwa. Abaningi abanovalo abalwesabayo olubenza bahlale endlini baye basizwa ngokwelashwa ngokuchaywa ezimweni. Kulendlela yokwelapha isisulu sifakwa esimweni esisisabayo bese sisizwa ukuba sihlale lapho kuze kuphele uvalo. Labo abanesifo senhliziyo, isifuba somoya, izilonda emathunjini, isifo sikapopopo, noma ukugula okufanayo kufanele babone udokotela ngaphambi kokuba bazame lokhu kwelapha.

Kungasetshenziswa amasu okuphumula ekunciphiseni ukwanda kokukhathazeka.a Amanye kuxoxwa ngawo ebhokisini elihambisana nalesi sihloko elithi “Amasu Okuzola.” Kodwa ungalindi uze ushaywe uvalo. Kungcono ukusebenzisa lamasu phakathi nezikhathi lapho ungakhathazekile kakhulu. Lapho usuwazi, angaqeda noma ngisho avimbele ukushaywa uvalo esikhathini esizayo.

Uvalo lugadla kakhulu lapho umuntu elindele ukuphelela futhi ezinyeza. “Lapho ngihlaselwa ukukhathazeka, imizwa engafanele yayibusa ukuphila kwami,” kusho esinye isisulu. “Ngazitshela ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi ngangikhathazekile, ngangingelutho kwabanye futhi ngenxa yalokho ngingathandeki.” Ukulwa nesimo sengqondo esinjalo kunganciphisa ukukhathazeka okubangela uvalo.b

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthululela izinkathazo kumngane onokwethenjelwa. Ukukhuluma ngazo kungasiza isisulu ukuba sihlukanise izinkinga okumelwe zikhuthazelelwe nezinkinga ezingaxazululwa. Umthandazo akufanele ushaywe indiva. IHubo 55:22 lithi: “Phonsa phezu kukaJehova umthwalo wakho, uzakukuphasa; akayikuvuma naphakade ukuba olungileyo azanyazanyiswe.”

Kunokuba kubangelwe inkinga eyodwa, enzima, ngokuvamile ukushaywa uvalo kubangelwa ukunqwabelana kwezinkathazo ezincane, ezibonakala zingelutho—ngendlela efanayo izinto eziningi zikagesi ezisebenza ngesimiso esifanayo ezingaqhumisa ngayo i-fuse. Elinye ikhambi liwukubhala phansi inkinga ngayinye ekhadini futhi uhlele lawo makhadi kusuka enkingeni encane kuya kwenzima kakhulu. Xazulula eyodwa ngesikhathi. Ukubhala phansi izinkathazo zakho kuzenza zishintshe kusuka ekubeni yilokho okusabayo nokugwemayo kuya kulokho ongakubona futhi ukuxazulule.

Abanye basizwa ukuphuza imithi edambisa izinzwa noma enqanda ukucindezeleka egunyaziwe. Nokho, isixwayiso sifanelekile. “Nginomuzwa wokuthi imithi iyodwa ayilona ikhambi,” kusho umeluleki uMelvin Green. “Kufanele isetshenziswe njengesenezelo lapho kusafunwa ikhambi. . . . Izidakamizwa zingakwenza ukuba uqhubeke uphila, futhi lokho kungakunikeza ithuba lokufuna olunye usizo lokubhekana nezimbangela ze-agoraphobia futhi ulwele ukululama.”

Ingabe Kuyinkinga Engokomoya?

“Ngangicabanga ukuthi amaKristu akufanele ahlaselwe ukukhathazeka,” kusho uBrenda, “ngoba uJesu wathi ‘ningalokothi nikhathazeke.’ Ngaphetha ngokuthi kumelwe ukuba anginciki kuNkulunkulu ngokwanele.” Nokho, umongo wamazwi kaJesu kuMathewu 6:34 ubonisa ukuthi wayengakhulumi ngokuhlushwa uvalo. Kunalokho, wayegcizelela ingozi yokukhathazeka ngokweqile ngezidingo ezingokwenyama kunezingokomoya.

Ngempela, ngisho nalabo ababeka izithakazelo ezingokomoya kuqala bangase bahlushwe yilokhu kuphazamiseka, njengoba okuhlangenwe nakho okulandelayo kowesifazane waseFinland kubonisa.

“Mina nomngane wami, sobabili esingoFakazi BakaJehova, sasishumayela endlini ngendlu. Ngokungazelele, ngaba nesiyezi. Imicabango yami yathiyeka. Akukho okwakubonakala kungokoqobo, futhi nganginovalo lokuthi ngizowa. Endlini elandelayo, ngangingasakwazi ukulandelela ingxoxo.

“Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okusabisayo kwenzeka ngo-1970. Kwakuyisenzakalo sokuqala ezenzakalweni eziyinqaba ezaziyongihlupha eminyakeni engamashumi amabili eyalandela. Ngokuphindaphindiwe, ngangizithola ngididekile, ngingakwazi ukucabanga kahle. Ngangiba nesiyezi, futhi inhliziyo yami ishaye ngamandla. Ngangiba namalimi noma ngiphelelwe amazwi ngokuphelele.

“Ngangiyisikhonzi soFakazi BakaJehova sesikhathi esigcwele esisesisha, esinobungqabavu, nesijabulayo. Yeka indlela engangikuthanda ngayo ukusiza abanye ukuba baqonde iBhayibheli! Kodwa lokhu kuphazamiseka kwakuwuhlupho oluphikelelayo. Ngangizibuza, ‘Konakelephi kimi?’ Isazi esithile sezinzwa sangixilonga sathi nginesithuthwane. Eminyakeni eyishumi eyalandela, ngangiphuza imithi esasiyigunyazile. Noma kunjalo, ngangizibuza ukuthi kungani yayingasebenzi. Ngaqala ukwamukela isimo sami njengokuthile okwakuyomelwe ngikukhuthazelele.

“Ngemva kwesikhathi esithile ngaqaphela ukuthi ukugula kwami kwakungesona isithuthwane, futhi imithi engangiyinikeziwe yayingasebenzi. Ngisho nokuya ezindaweni engizijwayele kwakuwumsebenzi omkhulu. Ngangisaba ukuhlangana nothile endleleni. Kwakudinga umzamo omkhulu ukuya emihlanganweni yobuKristu. Ngokuvamile ngangijuluka ngibe nesiyezi ngibambe ikhanda, inhliziyo yami ishaye ngamandla, futhi ngilahlekelwe ingqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi wonke umzimba wami wawuqina futhi ube nenkwantshu. Ngesinye isikhathi ngangiqiniseka ukuthi ngangizofa.

“Inkonzo yami yangiqinisa, nakuba kwakumangalisa ngempela ukuthi ngangiqhubeka nayo. Ngezinye izikhathi ukuqhuba isifundo seBhayibheli kwakunzima kangangokuba engihamba naye kwakudingeka asiqhube. Ngempela, ukushumayela kwethu kuwumzamo wokubambisana, futhi ekugcineni uNkulunkulu oqhubeka enza ukuba kukhule. (1 Korinte 3:6, 7) Abanjengezimvu bayezwa futhi basabele naphezu kokulinganiselwa komfundisi.

“Ngolunye usuku ngo-March 1991, umyeni wami wangibonisa incwajana ephathelene nokuhlushwa uvalo. Izimpawu ezachazwa zazifana nsé nezami! Ngafunda okwengeziwe ngalendaba, ngaya emihlanganweni, futhi ngenza ithuba lokubonana nochwepheshe. Ngemva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili, ekugcineni inkinga yami yavela. Ngase ngizolulama!

“Iningi lalabo abahlushwa uvalo lingasizwa ngokwelashwa okufanele. Abangane bangasekela kakhulu lapho benozwela. Kunokuba athwese umuntu okhathazekile kakade umuzwa wecala, umngane onokuqonda uyoqaphela ukuthi umuntu ohlushwa uvalo akazihlukanisi ngenhloso.—Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Thesalonika 5:14.

“Lapho ngihlaziya leminyaka engu-20 edlule, ngiyabonga ngokuthi phakathi nayo ngiye ngakwazi ukuhlala enkonzweni yesikhathi esigcwele. Kuye kwaba isibusiso esiwufanele ngempela lomshikashika. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngiyaqaphela ukuthi njengo-Ephafrodithu, abanye kumelwe badele amalungelo enkonzo ngenxa yempilo ebuthaka. UJehova akadumali ngabanjalo. Akalindele okungaphezu kwalokho umuntu angakunikeza ngokufanelekile.

“Ukuphila nalokhu kuphazamiseka kuye kwangifundisa ukuba ngingazicabangeli kakhulu. Kuye kwangisiza ukuba ngizwelane nabanye abanokulinganiselwa. Kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke, kuye kwangisiza ukuba ngisondele kuJehova. Phakathi nalo lonke uvivinyo lwami ngiye ngambona ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi ungumthombo wangempela wamandla nenduduzo.”

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 22]

Amasu Okuzola

Ukuphefumula ngokuzola. Ngokuvamile ukushaywa uvalo kuhambisana nokwenyuka kwezinga lokuphefumula. Ukuze uphefumule kahle, zama lokhu kuzivivinya: Lala ngesisu. Bala kasithupha njengoba udonsa umoya; ubale kasithupha njengoba uwukhipha. Ngokulandelayo, zama ukuphefumula ngendlela efanayo lapho uhlezi. Khona-ke, zama ukwenza kanjalo umile. Faka umoya esiswini, futhi ukwenze nsuku zonke lokhu uze ujwayele. Abanye bazuza ngokucabanga indawo enhle lapho benza lokhu kuzivivinya.

Ukuzola lapho ucabanga. ‘Kuthiwani uma ngiquleka?’ ‘Kuthiwani uma kungenamuntu ozongisiza?’ ‘Kuthiwani uma inhliziyo yami ima?’ Imicabango eyinhlekelele ishukumisa uvalo. Njengoba ngokuvamile lemicabango ingeyezinhlekelele zesikhathi esizayo noma izingozi zesikhathi esidlule, zama ukugxilisa ingqondo esimweni samanje. “Ukugxila esikhathini samanje kukwenza uzole ngokushesha,” kusho uDkt. Alan Goldstein. Abanye basikisela ukuba ufake ibhande lenjoloba esihlakaleni. Lapho kuphakama imicabango eyinhlekelele, lidluthule bese uzitshela ukuthi: “Yima!” Nqanda ukukhathazeka ngaphambi kokuba kubangele uvalo.

Ukusabela ngokuzola. Uma ushaywa uvalo ungazelele, ungalwi nalo. Kumane nje kuwumuzwa, futhi akudingekile ukuba imizwa ikulimaze. Ake uzicabange usolwandle ubukele amaza. Ayakhuphuka, aphakame, abese enyamalala. Uvalo lushaya ngendlela efanayo. Kunokuba ulwe naleli gagasi, liyeke liphele. Lizodlula. Lapho selidlulile, ungathinteki ngokweqile noma ucusumbule ngokweqile. Lidlulile, njengomuzwa wokuthimula noma ubuhlungu bekhanda.

Ukushaywa uvalo kunjengesidlova. Uma usicunula, sizohlasela; futhi uma ungasicunuli, singase sihambe. UDkt. R. Reid Wilson uchaza ukuthi amasu okuzola “awaklanyelwe ukuba ukwazi ‘ukulwa’ kangcono novalo noma ‘uluqede’ ngaleso sikhathi. Kunalokho, wabheke njengezindlela zokuhambisa isikhathi kuyilapho uvalo luzama ukulwa nawe.”

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 23]

I-agoraphobia, Ukwesaba Ukushaywa Uvalo

Abaningi abahlushwa ukushaywa uvalo baba ne-agoraphobia. Nakuba iye yachazwa ngokuthi ukwesaba izindawo zomphakathi, i-agoraphobia ingabizwa ngokunembile ngokuthi ukwesaba ukushaywa uvalo. Abaphethwe yiyo besaba ukushaywa uvalo kakhulu kangangokuba bagwema zonke izindawo lapho bake bashaywa uvalo bekhona. Ngokushesha, kusala indawo eyodwa kuphela “elondekile”—ngokuvamile ekhaya.

“Ake ucabange uphuma kwakho,” kusho umlobi uMelvin Green. “Ngokungazelele, kuvela indoda eyisidlakela kunawo wonke owake wawabona. Iphethe induku yokudlala i-baseball, futhi ngaphandle kwesizathu, ikuqwaqwada ikhanda. Uyenda, uphindela endlini, ungakukholelwa okusanda kwenzeka. Lapho usuzizwa ungcono, ulunguza emnyango futhi konke kubonakala kukahle. Uyaphuma futhi. Ngokungazelele ivele lendoda, iphinde ikushaye. Uphindela endlini lapho ulondeke khona. Ulunguza emnyango wangemuva . . . Nansi ikhona. Uqalaza emafasiteleni . . . Nansi futhi. Uyazi ukuthi uma uphuma endlini lapho ulondeke khona, uzoshaywa futhi. Umbuzo uwukuthi: Ubungaphuma yini?”

Abantu abaningi abane-agoraphobia bafanisa imizwa yabo nalowo mfanekiso futhi banomuzwa wokuthi isimo sabo asinathemba. Kodwa uDkt. Alan Goldstein unikeza lesi siqinisekiso: “Anihlukile, aninodwa. . . . Ningazisiza.”