Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingazivumelanisa Kanjani Nokuthutha Kwethu?

INGABE umkhaya wakini usanda kuthutha? Khona-ke cishe uyavuma ukuthi kumbalwa okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni okutuba—noma okucindezela njengakho. Futhi ngemva kokuba ibhokisi lezimpahla lokugcina selithululiwe nempahla yasendlini yokugcina isibekwe endaweni yayo, kungenzeka usalokhu uzizwa ucindezelekile, udangele, noma ukhathazekile. Akukhathaliseki ukuthi ikhaya elisha lihle noma libi ngokudabukisayo kunelakuqala. Namanje usalokhu uyikhumbula indlu yakini yakuqala, isikole owawufunda kuso, futhi ikakhulukazi usakhumbula abangane bakho bakuqala.

Yiqiniso, kumane nje kungokwemvelo ukukhumbula ikhaya lakuqala. Kodwa iBhayibheli liyeluleka: “Ungasho ukuthi: Kwenziwa kanjani ukuba izinsuku zokuqala zazizinhle kunalezi na? Ngokuba awubuzi kanjalo ngokuhlakanipha.” (UmShumayeli 7:10) Ukuhlakanipha kukusiza ukuba ubheke izinto ngokunengqondo. Eqinisweni, ‘izinsuku zakuqala’ ekhaya lakuqala zazingajabulisi ngokuphelele—mhlawumbe zazingasondeli ngisho nokusondela kukho. Kunokuba konakalise ukuphila kwakho, ukuthutha kungase kukunikeze amathuba amasha nezinzuzo ezintsha. Nakuba kunjalo, akulula ukuzivumelanisa nokuthutha. Khona-ke, yini engakusiza ukuba wenze kanjalo?

Zizwe Ukhululekile

Ayiqiniso ngempela amazwi eculo elidala athi: “Noma yikuphi lapho ngizizwa ngikhululeke khona kuba sekhaya.” Yebo, kunokuba ukhathazeke ngezindawo ozishiye emuva, kungani ungalweli ukwenza lendawo entsha ibe ikhaya? Incwadi ethi The Teenager’s Survival Guide to Moving iyasikisela: “Ngokushesha nje ngemva kokungena endlini, zama ukwenza ikamelo lakho libe elithokomele nelijwayelekile.” Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uhlobise ikamelo lakho ngemifanekiso nangezinto ozijwayele. Uma uhlanganyela ikamelo nokwelamayo, zama ukuba nikwenze nobabili.

Ezikhathini zeBhayibheli umhubi wakhuthaza abantu bakaNkulunkulu ukuba bazijwayelanise nenhloko-dolobha yabo, ethi: “Zungezani iSiyoni, nilikake, nibale imibhoshongo yalo. . . . nidabule izindlu zalo zobukhosi.” (IHubo 48:12, 13) Ngendlela efanayo, yazi indawo ekuzungezile. Funa lapho kwakhiwe khona izitolo, isikole esisha ozofunda kuso, umtapo wezincwadi wakuleyondawo, nezinye izindawo. Lokhu kuyokusiza ukuba uzizwe ukhululeke ngokwengeziwe.

Akungabazeki ukuthi ekhaya lakuqala wawunesimiso esihlelekile, noma indlela yokwenza izinto. Ngokwezinga oshesha ngalo ukubuyela kulesosimiso sakho sakuqala, kungalelozinga oyozizwa ukhululeke ngalo ngokushesha. Ikakhulukazi lapho kuziwa ezindabeni ezingokomoya njengemihlangano yobuKristu nesifundo seBhayibheli kufanele ‘uhambe ngawo lowomkhondo.’—Filipi 3:16.

Izinsuku Zokuya Esikoleni

Kuyinselele nje ngokwakho ukuzivumelanisa nesikole esisha, ikakhulukazi uma uthuthe phakathi nesikhathi sonyaka sokuya esikoleni. Kwamanye amazwe uhlelo lwezifundo zesikole luhlelwa ngokwendawo yakhona, futhi lungase luhluke ngokuphelele ezifundweni owawuzifunda esikoleni owawufunda kuso kuqala. Ungase uzithole usemuva kakhulu kwabanye abafundi kulesisikole esisha; ungase uphindiselwe ngisho nasekilasini eliphansi.

Nakuba lokhu kungase kubonakale kudumaza ngalesosikhathi, ungadikibali; ukusalela emuva ezifundweni kuwumphumela omubi ovamile wokuthutha. Ngaphandle kwalokho, nakuba izikole zasendaweni yakini zingase zibe nohlelo olufanayo lwezifundo, ukucindezeleka okubangelwa ukuthutha nokuzivumelanisa nabantu abahlukahlukene, izimo, namasiko, kanye nokucindezeleka okubangelwa ukuzama ukukhumbula inqwaba yamagama amasha—zonke lezizinto zingahlangana zikhathaze amandla akho okucabanga. Liyini ikhambi? Zama ukuzinikeza isikhathi esengeziwe sokwenza umsebenzi wesikole, bese unciphisa isikhathi osichitha ubukele i-TV. Cishe umsebenzi wakho wesikole uyothuthuka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ukwakha Abangane Abasha

“Ukwakha abangane abasha kwakuyisihluthulelo ngempela [sokuzivumelanisa],” kusho omusha ogama lakhe linguBrian umkhaya wakubo owathuthela engxenyeni eseningizimu ye-United States. “Ngemva kokuthola idlanzana labangane abangontanga yami ababenezithakazelo eziningi ezifana nezami, konke kwaba lula. Okuwukuphela kwento engisayikhumbula ngempela ngekhaya lakithi lakuqala ukudlala i-ice hockey.” Njengoba engomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, uBrian ngokuhlakanipha wafuna abangane phakathi kwentsha eyesaba uNkulunkulu ehlanganyela eHholo LoMbuso lendawo. Uma nawe ufuna abangane abanezindinganiso eziphakeme zokuziphatha futhi abakukhathalela ngempela, iHholo LoMbuso lendawo yakini liyindawo enhle yokubafuna.—IzAga 13:20.

Yiqiniso, awusoze wabathola abangane ngokuqhatha usizi noma ngokuzehlukanisa. (Qhathanisa nezAga 18:1.) “Indlela engakha ngayo abangane abasha,” kusho u-Anita, “kwakuwukwenza ingxenye yami futhi ngizethule kubo. Futhi ngithole ukuthi ngokuba nesimo sengqondo esiqondile—ukumomotheka nje nokujabula—abantu bayoza kuwe futhi bazethule.” Yebo, abantu bayodonseleka kuwe uma ubanikeza okuthile okubajabulisayo—ukumomotheka kobungane nokuhlala ujabulile! Futhi yiba nesineke. Kuthatha isikhathi ukwakha ubungane.

Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi ungase wenze isiqalo esihle sokwakha ubungane, ngokuvakashela okuzoba ikhaya lakho elisha ngaphambi kokuba nithuthe. ULaura oneminyaka eyishumi nantathu ubudala uthi: “Ngacasuka ngempela lapho ngizwa ukuthi ngokushesha sizothutha. Kodwa ngiye ngakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi ngizama ukwazi izingane zalapho siya khona futhi kuye kwangisiza ngempela ukuba ngizizwe kangcono ngokuthutha.”

Ukuqhathanisa Ubungane Obakhayo Nobungakhi

Ingabe uthi abutholakali ubungane obakhayo phakathi kwabantu abasha edolobheni lakini elisha? Khona-ke “yanuleka” ekwenzeni ubungane. (2 Korinte 6:11-13) Phela, obunye ubungane obufudumele kakhulu obulandiswe eBhayibhelini babuphakathi kwabantu abaneminyaka ehlukene kakhulu—njengoDavide noJonathani, noPawulu noThimothewu. (1 Samuweli 18:1; 1 Korinte 4:17) Pho kungani ulinganisela ubungane bakho kontanga yakho? Kukhona abantu abadala ebandleni lobuKristu ongase ubujabulele ngempela ubungane nabo.

Kuyavunywa, abanjalo bangase bangakwazi ukudlala ibhola likanobhutshuzwayo njengawe. Noma bangase bangathambekeli ekulaleleni umculo owuthandayo. Nakuba kunjalo, bangase babe nobungane obakha kakhulu. Njengoba indlela engcono kakhulu yokuthola umngane kuwukuba umngane, ungase uqale ngokwenzela lababantu abadala izinto eziwusizo. Noma kungani ungababuzi ukuthi kungafaneleka yini ukuba ubavakashele? Kungase kwakhe ubungane obanelisayo.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umane nje uhlale wedwa ekamelweni lakho futhi uzidabukele, kalula nje ungase ube nesizungu futhi ucindezeleke. Lokhu kungase kukwenze uthambekele ekutholeni abangane ababi. Ngokwesibonelo, amaqembu entsha engamahlongandlebe ayinkinga enkulu ezindaweni eziningi. Athembisa intsha enesizungu ukuthi azoba abangane bayo futhi azoyenza izizwe ithandwa. Kodwa njengasezikhathini zeBhayibheli, abantu abasha kanjalo bangase futhi bazame ukukuhilela esenzweni esingalungile, bethi: “Woza . . . Masihlasele abantu abangenacala ukuze sizijabulise!” Kodwa iNkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yaxwayisa: “Ndodana, ungahambisani nabantu abanjalo. Deda kubo. Bahlale belungele ukwenza okubi.”—IzAga 1:10-16, Today’s English Version.a

Naka Abanye

Indlela ephumelelayo yokuqeda isizungu iwukufuna izindlela zokukhuthaza abanye—ikakhulukazi amalungu omkhaya wakini. Umagazini i-Current Health uyakhumbuza: “Ukuthutha akuwona umsebenzi olula nakubazali futhi bangakujabulela konke ukusekela abangakuthola.” Kungase kwenzeke ukuthi umama noma ubaba uzivumelanisa nomsebenzi omusha. Lendlu entsha ingase ingathakazelisi njengeyakuqala. Futhi uma unabafowenu nodadewenu, ngokunokwenzeka nabo banesizungu futhi badumazekile. Kungani ungatholi ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze usize? Buza abazali bakho ukuthi ayikho yini imisebenzi eyengeziwe ongayenza. Uma abakwelamayo bebukeka benesizungu, chitha isikhathi esithile unabo. Khumbula ukuthi ‘uthando lwakha’ abalunikezwayo nabalubonisayo.—1 Korinte 8:1.

Ekugcineni, ukuthi uyalithanda noma uyalizonda ikhaya elisha kuyoxhomeka ikakhulukazi kuwe. Sikhunjuzwa ngendaba yendoda endala ehlakaniphile eyahlangana nabantu eyayingabazi ababehamba ngezimoto ezimbili. “Sicabanga ukuthuthela lapha,” kusho umkhaya owawusemotweni yokuqala. “Banjani abantu lapha?” Lendoda endala yaphendula: “Banjani abantu lapho nivela khona?” Lomkhaya waphendula: “Sivela edolobheni elinabantu abanobungane. Abantu bakhona banomusa nobumnene futhi banesithakazelo sangempela kubantu abangabazi.” Lendoda endala yamomotheka. Yathi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi nizoyithanda lendawo. Abantu balapha nabo banjalo nje.”

Lendoda endala yabuza umbuzo ofanayo emkhayeni osemotweni yesibili. Baphendula: “Sivela edolobheni elincane elingcolile. Abantu bakhona bangamavila futhi bangamanuku futhi abeve behleba.” Lendoda endala yahwaqabala. Yathi: “Angikholelwa ukuthi nizoyijabulela lendawo. Abantu balapha nabo banjalo nje.”

Liyini iphuzu kulendaba? Abantu bamane nje bayafana yonke indawo. Futhi ukuthi uyabujabulela noma ububukela phansi ubungane babo kuxhomeke kakhulu esimweni sakho sengqondo, indlela obabheka ngayo, nezindlela zokusebenzelana nabanye. Ngakho yiba nesimo sengqondo esiqondile! Zimisele ukuthi uyokwenza ukuthutha kwakho kube okuzuzisayo. Cha, izinto zingase zingaphinde zifane nakuqala. Kodwa ngomzamo nangesineke, ungenza izinto zibe ngcono kunakuqala. Uma nje unalabobantu abakuthanda ngempela, noma iyiphi indawo ingaba ikhaya ngempela.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 13]

Thatha isinyathelo kuqala sokwakha abangane abasha