Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Kumelwe Sithuthe?

Ufika ekhaya uvela esikoleni uyihlelele ngokuphelele impelasonto—ukuyochitha usuku olwandle, umdlalo webhola, ukufunda ebusuku obucwathile. Kodwa lapho uMama efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, ubuso bakhe bukutshela ukuthi kukhona okuthile okungalungile. Uthi: ‘Namuhla emsebenzini bathe angikhethe phakathi kokushintsha indawo yomsebenzi nokuxoshwa. Kubonakala sengathi kuzomelwe sithuthe.’ Ngokuphazima kweso uzizwa udangele.

UMA umkhaya wakini uzothutha, akuwona wodwa. Emazweni anezimboni, ukuthutha sekuye kwaba insakavukela emikhayeni eminingi. Ngokwesibonelo, e-United States, iHhovisi Lokubalwa Kwabantu lilinganisela ukuthi umMelika ovamile uyothutha izikhathi ezingu-12 phakathi nokuphila kwakhe. Phela, unyaka ngamunye intsha yaseMelika engaba yizigidi ezingu-12 ingaphansi kokucindezeleka okubangelwa ukuthutha! Nokho, izibalo ezinjalo zingase zingabi eziduduzayo lapho kuwumkhaya wakini oshintsha ikheli lawo. Ukulindela ukuthutha kungase kumane kukwenze uzizwe ukhungathekile. Ungase ubuze ngokudangala: ‘Kungani kumelwe sithuthe?’

Imikhaya Ethuthayo

Ngokuvamile umkhaya awuzikhetheli kulendaba. Ezikhathini zeBhayibheli lapho indlala yayihlasele kwa-Israyeli umkhaya ka-Elimeleki noNawomi waphoqeleleka ukuba ubalekele ezweni elingumakhelwane lakwaMowabi. (Ruthe 1:1, 2) Namuhla abazali abaningi bazithola besezimweni ezicindezela ngendlela efanayo. Emazweni asathuthuka, isomiso nokunganakwa kwendawo ezungezile kuye kwaphoqa izigidigidi zabantu ukuba zithuthele emadolobheni aminyene nasezikhungweni zokuthola usizo—noma kwamanye amazwe. Emazweni aseNtshonalanga, ukwehla kwezomnotho kuye kwabangela ukuba kuvalwe izimboni eziningi namabhizinisi. Amapulazi ake achuma awasakhiqizi. Imisebenzi isiyivela kancane. Ngakho-ke abazali bakho bangase baphoqeleke ukuba bathuthele endaweni echume kakhudlwana.

Nokho, akuyona yonke imikhaya ethutha ngenjongo yokubalekela ubumpofu. Ukukhushulwa kwesikhundla emsebenzini, ukushintsha kwendawo yomsebenzi womzali, ukwehlukana komshado, impilo ebuthakathaka, noma isimo sezulu esibi kakhulu—konke lokhu kuyizizathu ezivamile zokuthutha kweminye imikhaya. Isazi sesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu uJohn D. Kasarda uphawula esinye isizathu esivamile: “Kunombono wokuthi amadolobha ayingozi kakhulu namuhla. Izidakamizwa ikakhulukazi, ziye zaholela ekwandeni okusheshayo kokuphangwa kwabantu nempahla.” Abanye banomuzwa wokuthi ukuphila endaweni engamaphethelo edolobha noma edolobheni elincane kungaba okulondeke kakhudlwana.

Ezikhathini zeBhayibheli, u-Abrahama wathutha emzini wakhe othokomele wase-Uri ukuze akhonze izithakazelo zikaNkulunkulu. (Genesise 12:1; Heberu 11:8) Ngokufanayo namuhla, eminye imikhaya phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova iye yathuthela ezindaweni lapho kunendingeko khona yabashumayeli abengeziwe besigijimi soMbuso. (Mathewu 24:14) Abanye sebeqalile ukuya emabandleni angomakhelwane lapho kunesidingo khona sababonisi noma izinceku ezikhonzayo. Nakuba ukuthutha okunjalo kungase kungahileli ukushintsha indawo yokuhlala, kodwa kusho ukushintshela eqenjini labantu elisha nezimo ezintsha.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isizathu sokuthutha komkhaya wakini, cishe kwakungewona umbono wakho. Ngokuqondakalayo, ungase ungakujabuleli ngokuphelele.

Imizwa Yokungaqiniseki

Akukhona ukuthi konke ukuthutha kubi. UJustin oneminyaka eyishumi nambili ubudala uyanyukubala lapho ekhumbula ikubo elidala edolobheni elikhulu. Uthi: “Kwakwesabeka. Kwakunobudlova obuningi endaweni esasakhelene nayo. Wawungeke uhambe amayadi angu-50 [amamitha angu-50] usuka ekhaya ngaphandle kokukhathazwa iqembu lamahlongandlebe. Abantu babehlala bezivalele ezindlini zabo. Ngangikuzonda. Lapho ngizwa ukuthi sasizothuthela emaphandleni, ngajabula.”

Nakuba kunjalo, umcabango wokushiya abangane bakho nezindawo ozijwayele ungase ukushiye unemizwa yokungaqiniseki. U-Anita osemusha wabhekana nemizwa enjalo lapho ezwa ukuthi umkhaya wakubo wawuzothutha. Uyakhumbula: “Ingxenye enkulu yokuphila kwami ngangiyiphile ngihlala esikhungweni sezempi sase-U.S. esiseNgilandi. Ngangizibheka njengowaseBrithani ngaphezu kokuba ngowaseMelika. Lapho ngineminyaka eyishumi, ngathola ukuthi ubaba wayeshintshelwa e-United States, eNew Mexico—ugwadule! Ekuqaleni angazanga ukuthi ngicabangeni. Ngangijabulile kodwa nginovalo. Ngangingafuni ukushiya abangane bami. Lokho kwakuyingxenye embi kakhulu yokuthutha.”

Isizathu Sokuba Ukuthutha Kube Okucindezelayo

Namuhla, abantu abasha ikakhulukazi kubonakala bechayeke ekucindezelekeni okubangelwa ukuthutha. I-Reader’s Digest iyaphawula: “Izazi zempilo yengqondo zisitshela ukuthi ngisho nokuthutha okunezizathu ezinhle kungokuhlangenwe nakho okutubayo, okucindezelayo ngokomzwelo.”

Ngokwesibonelo, injabulo nokulindela ukuthutha kuyacindezela ngokwakho. Ukubambezeleka nokuphazamiseka okungagwemeki kungaqhubekisela phambili ukucindezeleka. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ithemba elilitshazisiweyo ligulisa inhliziyo.” (IzAga 13:12) Ngisho nalapho wonke umuntu ebheke phambili kukho, “ukuthutha kungase kubangele ukudabuka nokukhathazeka okukhulu emalungwini omkhaya” kusho umagazini i-Parents. “Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ukuhamba kubangela imizwa yokulahlekelwa nokungaqiniseki ngendawo okuyiwa kuyo.” Ngakho akukhona okungavamile ukubhekana nemizwa ephithene—ukushaqeka, intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, kanye nokucindezeleka, ngisho nokuthuthumela.

Incwadi ethi The Teenager’s Survival Guide to Moving iyaphawula: “Ukuthutha kusho okungaphezu nje kokushintsha ikheli lakho. Kusho ukushintsha izici eziningi zokuphila kwakho—isikole ofunda kuso, othisha abakufundisayo, imisebenzi yakho, nabangane bakho. Futhi ukushintsha kuhlale kunzima, ngisho nalapho kungukushintsha okuyokwenza izimo zibe ngcono.” Isisebenzi sezenhlala-kahle uMyra Herbert sithi ukuthutha njalo kungase kuphumele “ekwehlulekeni nasosizini.” Ngokwesibonelo, abantwana abathutha njalo “bashintsha izinhlelo zesikole ngokuqhubekayo futhi ikakhulukazi uma ukutadisha kunzima kubo, bashiya phakathi.” Uphawula ukuthi ukushiya abangane emuva, “kunzima kakhulu” entsheni.

Ukubhekana Nokuthutha

Ngakho, kulula ukubona ukuthi kungani ithemba lokuthutha lingase likwenze ucasuke, uzonde noma uthukuthele. Noma kunjalo, ukuzindla ngemizwa ephambene kuyomane kwenze izinto zibe nzima ngokwengeziwe. Kungcono kakhulu ukuba uzame ukuhlakulela umbono oqondile. Imizwelo ephambene, njengokukhathazeka nokudabuka, ivame kakhulu ngaphansi kwalezizimo. Ngokuvamile lemizwa iyaphela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Okwamanje, zama ukugxila ezinzuzweni zokuthutha.

U-Anita, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, manje useneminyaka engu-15 futhi usephinde wathutha. Uyakhumbula: “Lapho ngithutha, ngazizwa ngidabukile. Kodwa-ke ngabheka ohlangothini oluhle—ukuthi ngangizohlangana nabantu abasha futhi ngivakashele izindawo ezithakazelisayo.” Uyajabula futhi usezivumelanise kahle nekubo elisha.

Ngezinye izikhathi, naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kakhulu, imizwa ephambene iyaphikelela. Uma kunjalo, ungayishayi indiva. Phela, “umoya owaphukileyo” ungakulimaza ngokomzimba. (IzAga 17:22) Mhlawumbe kudingeka ugxile kakhudlwana esidingweni sakho sokuphumula, ukuzivivinya, noma ukudla ukudla okunempilo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungase kudingeke ukhulume ngemizwa yakho, ikakhulukazi kubazali bakho. (IzAga 23:26) Batshele ngokwesaba kwakho nangokukhathazeka kwakho.

Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ukhathazekile ngokuthi kufanele ushiye izimpahla ebeziyigugu ngenxa yokuthi ‘ayikho indawo eyanele’? Noma unomuzwa wokuthi ukuthutha kusondelene kakhulu nesikhathi sokuhlolwa kwakho kwasesikoleni nokuthi ungaphansi kokucindezeleka okukhulu? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukhononda ngani, izAga 13:10 ziyasikhumbuza: “Ngokuziqhenya kuvela ukuxabana kuphela, kepha kwabalulekwayo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” Abazali bakho bangase bavumelane nawe ngandlela-thile. Uma kungenjalo, okungenani, bangase bakuzwele, bakusekele, futhi bakuqinisekise.

Ungavumeli ukuba amahlebezi nezindaba ezisabekayo ngokuphathelene nekini elisha kululaze imizamo yakho yokulondoloza isimo sengqondo esiqondile. IzAga 14:15 zithi: “Ongenalwazi uyakholwa ngamazwi onke, kepha oqondileyo uyaqaphela ukunyathela kwakhe.” Zitholele ngokwakho amaqiniso. U-Anita uthi: “Ngaya emtatsheni wezincwadi futhi ngacwaninga ngokuphathelene nezizinda namasiko ezindawo esasithuthela kuzo.” Mhlawumbe ungavakashela ikini elisha kusengaphambili uma kungukuthi anithutheli kude kakhulu. Lokhu kungasiza kakhulu ekuqedeni ukungabaza kwakho futhi kusize umqondo wakho ukuba ulungele ukuthutha.

Kuyavunywa, ngeke kube lula ukuthutha. Ethi The Teenager’s Survival Guide to Moving, isikisela ukuthi: “Ngaphambi kokuba uthuthe, vakashela okokugcina izindawo ozithandayo . . . , umane nje uvalelise kuzo.” Ungase uthande ukwenza ibhuku lezithombe ukuze ulondoloze izinkumbulo. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, zinikeze isikhathi sokuvalelisa kubangane bakho. Baqinisekise ukuthi ubuhlobo benu abuphelile. Umphostoli uJohane wasebenzisa ‘iphepha noyinki’ ukuze axhumane nalabo ayebathanda, futhi nawe ungenza kanjalo! (2 Johane 12) Ngokuzimisela nangomzamo, ngisho nobungane nabantu abakude bungachuma.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi izinyembezi ezibangelwa ukuhamba kwakho ziyokoma, futhi uyobhekana nenselele yokuzivumelanisa nekini elisha—okuyisihloko esiyoba kumagazini wethu olandelayo.

[Isithombe ekhasini 26]

Kungani ungacwaningi kusengaphambili futhi ufunde ngekini elisha?