Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kunini Lapho “Kuwukweqisa” Khona?

“Ingabe ningasiza nixwayise abantu ngezingozi zokweqisa? . . . Konke ‘ukuthintana’ kudinga ukuba kuxoxwe ngakho, ngoba yikho okuholela ebulilini. Umbuzo wami uwukuthi, ukuphi umngcele?”

YILOKHO intombazane ethile eyakubuza umagazini wabevé eshumini nambili. Kodwa mhlawumbe nawe uke wazibuza lowombuzo.

Uma ungumKristu, uwathatha ngokungathi sína amazwi akweyoku-1 Thesalonika 4:3-6: “Lokhu kuyintando kaNkulunkulu, ukungcweliswa kwenu, ukuba nidede ebufebeni . . . ukuba kungabikho noyedwa omonayo, aphambe umfowabo ngento, ngokuba iNkosi ingumphindiseli kukho konke lokho.”

Ngakho nakuba ungase uqaphele ukuthi ubuhlobo bobulili obenziwa amaKristu angashadile abulungile, kungenzeka uyazibuza ukuthi uNkulunkulu ukubheka kanjani ukuqabula, ukwanga, noma ukuphulula othile wobulili obuhlukile.

Ingabe Kuyingxenye Yokukhula?

Okokuqala, kuhle ukukhumbula ukuthi iBhayibheli alikulahli ukubonakaliswa kothando okufanelekile, okuhlanzekile okungenakho ukusikisela kobulili. AmaKristu asendulo ayelubonakalisa ngokuphelele uthando lwawo komunye nomunye. Ngokuvamile ‘ayebingelelana ngokwanga okungcwele.’ (Roma 16:16; 1 Korinte 16:20) Ngisho namaKristu obulili obufanayo ayangana futhi asingathane.—Qhathanisa nezEnzo 20:37.

Emasikweni amaningi, ukuqabula nokusingatha kusabhekwa njengezindlela ezifanelekile zokubonisa uthando komunye. Nokho, intsha eningi namuhla ibonisa uthando ngezindlela ezeqela ngalé komngcele onengqondo walokho okufanelekile. Okunye ukuhlola kwase-U.S. kwathola ukuthi abevé eshumini nambili abangaphezu kwezingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu abahlolwa bathi babeye bahlanganyela ohlotsheni oluthile lokuphululana oluhilela ukuphulula izitho zangasese zomzimba. Abaningi baqala ukwenza kanjalo bebancane ngangeminyaka engu-14. Njengoba kwatholakala kokunye ukuhlola, amaphesenti angu-49 aye ahlanganyela ekuphululaneni kwaze kwafinyelela ezingeni lokuthola ukwaneliseka ngokobulili.

Abanye bathethelela izenzo ezinjalo eziphathelene nobulili ngokuthi ziyingxenye nje yokukhula. Ngokwencwadi ethi The Family Handbook of Adolescence, “ukudlala ngobulili nokubuhlola kuvamile cishe phakathi kwabo bonke abasha abavamile.” Abanye abantu bayakutusa ngisho nokukutusa ukuphulula. Incwadi ethi Growing Into Love, kaKathryn Burkhart, ithi: “Ngenxa yokuthi kugcina ngaphambi kokuba nobuhlobo bobulili, ukuphululana okuningi kungenziwa ngaphandle kokukhathazeka futhi kusebenza njengendlela enhle kakhulu yokwanelisa amandla angokobulili.”

Nakuba kunjalo, umbuzo uwukuthi, Ingabe uNkulunkulu ukubheka kanjani ukuziphatha okunjalo?

Ukuqabula Kungaholelaphi?

Lapho ‘usekuqhumeni kobusha,’ inkanuko yobulili iba namandla. (1 Korinte 7:36, NW) Ngakho-ke, kungokwemvelo ukuba nelukuluku lokwazi ukuthi kunjani ukuqabula noma ukuthinta othile wobulili obuhlukile. Kodwa incwadi ethi The Family Handbook of Adolescence iyaphawula: “Ngezinye izikhathi, amandla obulili andulela ukuvuthwa okungokomzwelo ngeminyaka eminingi.” Ngempela, intsha eningi ayiqondi ngokugcwele ukuthi ukuqabula noma ukuphulula kunamandla okuvusa imizwa enamandla yothando noma izinkanuko zobulili.

Ngakho-ke, kumelwe ngokuhlakanipha ucabangele imiphumela yokuhileleka ekuziphatheni okuvusa imizwa yobulili. Kuthiwani uma umncane kakhulu ukuba ungashada? Khona-ke kungani uqabula noma wenza noma yini ngendlela eyokuvusela inkanuko yobulili? Lokho kuyomane nje kukubangele ukukhungatheka. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi njengoba ungumKristu weqiniso ayikho indlela ongayiqhubekisela ngayo leyomizwa yothando ifinyelele esiphethweni sayo esifanelekile—ubuhlobo bobulili. IBhayibheli lenza kucace ukuthi ubuhlobo obunjalo bufaneleke ngaphakathi komshado kuphela.—1 Korinte 6:18.

Cabangela futhi, omunye umuntu ongase avuswe inkanuko yobulili yisenzo sakho sokubonakalisa uthando. Ingabe akukhona yini ukukhohlisa, ngisho nokuba nonya, ukuqabula noma ukuphulula othile ongekho esimweni sokushada naye noma ongase ngisho ungamcabangeli ngokungathi sína njengongaba umngane womshado? (Qhathanisa nezAga 26:18, 19.) IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Umuntu . . . ononya uhlupha inyama yakhe.”—IzAga 11:17.

Akufanele kube yimfihlo kumfundi weBhayibheli ukuthi ukuthinta kokubonakalisa uthando noma ukuqabula kungavusa inkanuko yobulili enamandla. IBhayibheli lisitshela ngensizwa ethile eyayengwa isifebe. Lithi: ‘Siyayibamba, [siyayiqabula, NW].’ (IzAga 7:13) Ukuqabula noma ukuthinta okunjalo kungavusa ukusabela okungokomzimba okunamandla. Njengoba ukusondelana kuqhubeka umfana noma intombazane uvukwa inkanuko yobulili ngokuqhubekayo. Ngokuqondile, umzimba ulungela ubuhlobo bobulili.

Uma umbhangqwana ushadile, unganelisa izinkanuko zawo ngendlela ejabulisayo nehloniphekile. Kodwa lapho umbhangqwana ongashadile uzitika esenzweni esivusa inkanuko yobulili, ngokuqinisekile ziyavela izinkinga. Kokunye ukuhlola, umbhali uNancy Van Pelt wathola ukuthi intsha eningi eyayihileleka ekuphululaneni yavuma obala ukuthi, njengoba yakubeka, yamane nje “yehluleka ukuzithiba.” Isibonelo salokhu intombazane ethile eyacindezelwa ukuba iqhubeke ngokwengeziwe kunanini ngaphambili. Nakuba ingazange ihileleke ebuhlotsheni bobulili, yamvumela umfana ukuba ayithinte izindawo zangasese. Ithi: “Manje ngizizwa kabi kakhulu.” Ingabe lokho eyavumela ukuba lomfana akwenze kuyona kwakungalungile ngempela?

Kuyini “Ukweqisa”?

Enye intsha ikholelwa ukuthi uma nje ingahileleki ebuhlotsheni bobulili, isuke ingakeqisi, okungukuthi lokho ekwenzayo akukubi ngempela. IBhayibheli libonisa okuhlukile. KwabaseGalathiya 5:19-21, umphostoli uPawulu wathi: “Imisebenzi yenyama isobala, engukuthi: ubufebe, nokungcola, [nokuziphatha okuxekethile, NW] . . . abenza okunje abayikulidla ifa lombuso kaNkulunkulu.”

Buyini ubufebe? Igama lesiGreki eliwumsuka welithi ubufebe lithi por·neiʹa. Libhekisela esenzweni sobulili esihilela ukusetshenziswa kwezitho zangasese esenziwa ngaphandle kwezibopho zomshado. Enye intombazane ecashunwe kuyi-Seventeen yavumela isoka layo ukuba liyicindezele ukuba yenze ubuhlobo bobulili ngomlomo. “Ngizizwa ngiyisiwula ngempela,” isho, “ngoba bonke abangane bami bathi bayakwenza namasoka abo futhi ngizolahlekelwa nguye uma mina ngingakwenzi.” Ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi isibalo esesabekayo sentsha siye sahlanganyela kulolohlobo lokuziphatha okubi. Nakuba kunjalo, izenzo ezinjalo ziyingxenye ye-por·neiʹa futhi ziletha ukungavunyelwa uNkulunkulu.

Umphostoli uPawulu futhi wahlanganisa ubufebe ‘nokungcola.’ Igama lesiGreki eliwumsuka, elithi a·ka·thar·siʹa, lihlanganisa ukungcola kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo, ngenkulumo noma ngesenzo. Ngokuqinisekile bekuyoba ukungcola ukufaka izandla ngaphansi kwezambatho zomunye, ukukhumula izambatho zomunye, noma ukuphulula izingxenye zomunye zangasese, njengamabele. Phela, eBhayibhelini ukuphululwa kwamabele kuhlanganiswa nezinjabulo ezigcinelwe imibhangqwana eshadile.—IzAga 5:18, 19; qhathanisa noHoseya 2:2.

Nakuba kunjalo enye intsha ngokuqhosha iyazidelela lezindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu. Yeqisa ngamabomu, noma ngokuhaha ifune abantu abaningi engahlanganyela nabo ukungcola okungokobulili. Ngaleyondlela iba necala lalokho umphostoli uPawulu akubiza ngokuthi “ukuziphatha okuxekethile.”

Imithombo ehlukahlukene ibonisa ukuthi igama lesiGreki eliwumsuka welithi “ukuziphatha okuxekethile” (a·selʹgei·a) lisho ‘izenzo ezimbi ngokwesabekayo, ukweqisa, indelelo, inkanuko engalawuliwe, nobubi obesabekayo.’ Intsha ehlanganyela ekuziphatheni okuxekethile ifana namaqaba uPawulu abhekisela kuwo. Ngenxa “yobulukhuni benhliziyo yabo,” baba “buthuntu, bazinikela emanyaleni [“ekuziphatheni okuxekethile,” NW], ukuze basebenze ukungcola konke ngokuhuheka.” (Efesu 4:17-19) Ngokuqinisekile uyofuna ukukugwema ukuthola ukulahlwa okunjalo!

Khona-ke, phawula ukuthi umuntu akudingeki aze ahileleke ebuhlotsheni bobulili ukuze “eqise” ngokombono kaJehova. Uma umncane kakhulu ukuba ungashada, kufanele ungahileleki ekuthinteni nasekuqabuleni kokubonisa uthando. Futhi labo abaqomisanayo kumelwe baqaphele ukuthi ukubonisa kwabo uthando kungabi okungcolile. Kuyavunywa, ukubambelela ezindinganisweni zikaNkulunkulu akulula. Kodwa uNkulunkulu ku-Isaya 48:17 uthi: “NginguJehova uNkulunkulu wakho okufundisile okukusizayo, okuholile ngendlela omelwe ukuhamba ngayo.”—Bheka futhi neyabaseGalathiya 5:16.

[Izithombe ekhasini 21]

Uma ungashadile, ukuhlanganyela ekuziphatheni okuvusa inkanuko yobulili kungaholela ekukhungathekeni nakokubi nakakhulu