Ukusiza Labo Abanokuphazamiseka Kwemikhuba Yokudla

IZIGIDI zemikhaya emhlabeni wonke kuye kwadingeka ukuba zibhekane nelungu elinokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla. Ibulimia (ukudla kakhulu nokukukhipha), ianorexia nervosa (ukungakwazi ukudla osekunesikhathi eside noma ukwenqaba ukudla), nokudla okubangwa ukucindezeleka (ukudla ngokungalawuleki) kuye kwaba umqedazwe kwezinye izindawo.

Lokhu kuphazamiseka ngokuyinhloko kuyinkinga yabesifazane. Kuthinta abesimame babo bonke ubudala, kokubili abangashadile nabashadile. Abangakevi eminyakeni eyishumi nambili nabevile kuyo, kanye nabesifazane abadala, kuhlanganise nezalukazi, baphakathi kwalabo okubaphathayo.a

Uma owesifazane othile omkhathalelayo enokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, ngokungangabazeki ufuna ukumsiza. Kodwa ukumane utshele ophethwe ibulimia ukuba ayeke ukugimbela ukudla nokukukhipha kufana nokutshela umuntu onepneumonia ukuba ayeke ukukhwehlela. Ngaphambi kokuba umsize ngempela onokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, udinga ukwazi nokunakekela ukuphazamiseka okungokomzwelo okujulile lokho ngokuvamile okuba yimbangela yalenkinga. Khona-ke, ikhono—hhayi nje izinhloso ezinhle—libalulekile. Ngezinye izikhathi inkinga ejulile isuka ekuxhashazweni ngokobulili kwesikhathi esedlule. Uma isuka kukho, onenkinga ngokuvamile uyodinga usizo olukhethekile olutholakala kumeluleki onekhono.b

Bhekana Nenkinga

Ukuthola ukuthi ingane yakho, umlingani, noma umngane unokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lokhu kubangelwa ukuthi labo abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla bangase bakufihle. (Bheka ibhokisi elihambisana nalesihloko.) Nokho, ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla ngeke ngokuvamile kuziphelele ngokwakho. Lapho kukhulunywa nogulayo ngokushesha futhi anikezwe usizo, aba ngcono kakhulu amathuba okuba alulame.

Nokho, ngaphambi kokukhuluma nosola ukuthi uyagula, hlela ngokucophelela ozokusho nesikhathi esingcono kakhulu sokukusho. Kumelwe ukusho ngesikhathi lapho umoya wakho wehlile futhi ngokunokwenzeka kungeke kube khona ukuphazamiseka. Indlela engeyiyo yokukhuluma—enjengokusho usongo olujulile—iyovimbela ukukhulumisana futhi ingase yenze izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu.

Lapho ukhuluma nothile osola ukuthi unokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, musa ukuba ngowahlulelayo, qonda ngqó. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uthi, ‘Unciphe kakhulu ngomzimba. Izingubo zakho zibukeka zikuxega. Ingabe sikhona isizathu esikubangelayo?’ Noma, ‘Ngikuzwe uphalaza endlini encane. Ngiyazi ukuthi lokhu kuyaphoxa, kodwa ngifuna ukusiza. Ingabe singavulelana izifuba?’ Ngisho noma umuntu esabela ngokuthukuthela nangokuphika, ukukhuluma naye ngendlela epholile kungase kumnxenxele ukuba akhulume ngendaba. (IzAga 16:21) Ukufinyelela ingxoxo yokuvulelana izifuba kuwumgomo ongokoqobo wengxoxo yakho yokuqala.

Ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kuvame ukubakhona lapho amalungu omkhaya ekhathalela kakhulu ubukhulu bomzimba nalapho izingane zituswa ngokuyinhloko ngokubukeka kwazo noma ezikufezayo. Khona-ke, emkhayeni lapho ilungu linokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, abanye emkhayeni kungase kudingeke bahlaziye kabusha izimo zabo zengqondo nezinto eziza kuqala kubo. Ikhambi lokuxazulula inkinga yogulayo lingase lidinge ukuba amalungu omkhaya enze ushintsho. Ngempela, imizamo yawo ngokuvamile ingezinye zezici ezibaluleke kakhulu ekululameni kogulayo.

Gwema Ukulwa Ngezikhwepha

Komunye umkhaya abazali abathukuthele bazama ngokoqobo ukufaka ukudla ngenkani emlonyeni wowayeneanorexia, kodwa lentombazane yenqaba futhi yazizwa ijabula ngokuthi yayikwazile ukumelana nemizamo yabazali bayo. Ngakho qaphela ukuthi awunakuphoqa omunye umuntu ukuba adle noma ayeke ukugimbela ukudla. Lapho uzama ukuphoqa ogulayo, kuba yilapho impi iba nzima khona.

“Izinto zaziba zimbi kakhulu isikhathi ngasinye lapho ngikhuluma ngendlela yakhe yokudla,” kuvuma uJoe, ondodakazi yakhe uLee yacishe yabulawa ianorexia. “Kwadingeka ukuba ngiyeke ngokuphelele ukukhuluma ngezindaba zokudla.” Umkakhe, uAnn, wachaza okwazuzisa indodakazi yabo: “Samsiza ukuba abe nomuzwa wokuthi wayengazilawula ngaphandle kokuba kudingeke ukuba kwenziwe ukweqisa okunjalo. Lokhu kwasindisa ukuphila kwakhe.” Ngokuhlakanipha, ungayiqokomisi impikiswano yokudla. Siza ogulayo ukuba abone ukuthi lapho edla, wenza lokho ukuze kuzuze yena hhayi wena.

Siza Ekwakheni Ukuzethemba

Abantu abaningi abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla bangabantu abathanda izinto zonke zihambe ngendlela. Abaningi baye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okuncane kokwehluleka. Abazali babo—benezinhloso ezinhle kakhulu—ngezinye izikhathi baye baba nengxenye kulenkinga. Kanjani? Ngokuba ngabavikela ngokweqile, bezama ukuvikela umntwana wabo kunoma yini embi engase imehlele.

Ngakho umzali udinga ukusiza umntwana wakhe ukuba aqaphele ukuthi amaphutha akhe ayingxenye yokuphila futhi awamenzi angabi yinto yalutho. Izaga 24:16 (NW) zithi: “Ngisho nakuba olungileyo engawa kasikhombisa, nakanjani uyovuka.” Umntwana ngeke alinyazwe isehlakalo esibi uma efundiswe ukuthi ukwehluleka kuyinto evamile, kuyadlula, nokuthi kunganqotshwa.

Umzali futhi kumelwe amukele futhi azise ukwehluka komntwana ngamunye. Nakuba umzali ongumKristu ezama ukuqeqesha umntwana “ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi,” kusamelwe avumele umntwana ukuba abe uyena. (Efesu 6:4) Musa ukuzama ukwenza umntwana abe yilokho noma aziphathe ngendlela osuyihlele engqondweni. Ukuze anqobe ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, umntwana kumelwe abe nomuzwa wokuthi ubuyena buyahlonishwa futhi buyaziswa.

Hlakulela Ukukhulumisana Kokuvulelana Izifuba

Emikhayeni eminingi lapho umntwana noma umlingane enokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, kukhona ukungakhulumisani kahle. Labo abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla bavame ukuba nobunzima bokuveza imizwa yabo yangempela lapho lemizwa iphambene neyabazali noma eyomlingane. Lokhu ikakhulukazi kwenzeka ekhayeni lapho umthetho uwukuthi, ‘Uma ungenakho okuhle kokukusho, ungasho lutho.’ Ngakho ogulayo uphendukela ekudleni ukuze akhohlwe ukukhungatheka akuzwa ngaphakathi.

Ngokwesibonelo, uMatthew wayengakwazi ukusiza umkakhe ukuba anqobe ukuminza okubangwa ukucindezeleka. “Noma nini lapho ekhathazekile uyakhala bese eyokudla,” wabubula. “Akakaze . . . ngempela angitshele okumhluphayo.” Umeluleki wasikisela ukuba bobabili babekele eceleni ihora ngesonto ukuze baxoxe bebodwa futhi bashintshane ngokusho noma yikuphi ukukhonona ngaphandle kokuba omunye wabo aphazamise. “Kwakususa inkungu,” kusho uMatthew. “Ngangingazi ukuthi uMonica wayengajabulile kangaka ngezinto eziningi kangaka nokuthi ngempela ngangithambekele ekuzithetheleleni kangaka. Ngangicabanga ukuthi ngangiyisilaleli esihle kodwa ngangingesona ngempela.”

Ngaleyondlela, ukuze usize umlingane wakho noma umntanakho, zimisele ukulalela imizwa yakhe ephambene neyokunganeliseki. NgokwemiBhalo, ukulalela ‘ukukhonona kophansi’ kufanele. (IzAga 21:13) UJoe noAnn kwadingeka bafunde lesifundo.

“Kwadingeka ngiyeke ukufinyelela eziphethweni ngingawazi wonke amaqiniso nokubonisa ukucasuka kwami lapho uLee ayenombono ohlukile,” kwavuma uJoe ngokuphathelene nendodakazi yakhe eneanorexia. Umkakhe uAnn, wathi: “Lalela lokho umntwana afuna ukukusho. Musa ukuzama ukumfunza amazwi. Lalela indlela azizwa ngayo ngezinto.”

UAnn wanikeza isibonelo salokhu: “Esikhathini esingaphambili, lapho uLee ayekhonona ngokuthi othile wayelimaze imizwa yakhe, ngangimtshela ukuthi lowomuntu wayengahlosile ngempela ukumlimaza. Kodwa wayethukuthela ngisho nakakhulu. Manje lapho ekhonona, ngithi, ‘Ngiyazi ukuthi lokho kumelwe ukuthi kukulimazile. Ngiyabona ukuthi kungani bekungakwenza uzizwe kabuhlungu ngempela.’ Ngizama ukubonisa uzwela kunokushintsha umbono wakhe ngaso lesosikhathi.” Ngakho lalela ngempela, futhi ungathathi ngokuthi usuyazazi kakade izinhloso zomunye nemizwa.

Lapho kunokukhulumisana kokuvulelana izifuba, umuntu angathola induduzo phakathi nezikhathi zokuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo futhi akazizwa ephoqeleke ukuba aphendukele emikhubeni yokudla engenampilo. UDawn wachaza ukuthi kungani engakaze aphindele ekuminzeni okubangwa ukucindezeleka nebulimia: “Lapho ngicasukile, ngiyakwazi ukukhuluma nomyeni wami ngoba uyaqonda ngempela futhi uyaduduza.”

Bonisa Uthando Lokuzidela

Ubaba ososizini lokushonelwa ondodakazi yakhe eyayinebulimia yabulawa ukuma kwenhliziyo wanika lesiseluleko: “Thanda abantwana bakho ngisho nangaphezu kwalokho ocabanga ukuthi kwanele.” Yebo, yiba ngophanayo ngamazwi othando. Siza umntwana wakho nomngane womshado ukuba bawuzwe umuzwa wokuthi uthando lwakho ngabo aluxhomekile endleleni ababukeka ngayo noma kwabakufezayo. Kodwa ukuthanda othile obhajwe ogibeni lokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla akulula. Lesi isizathu esenza isihluthulelo kube uthando lokuzidela, lolo iBhayibheli eliluchaza ngokuthi lumnene, luyabekezela, futhi luyathethelela. Kuwukuzimisela ukubeka izithakazelo zomunye ngaphambi kwezakho siqu.—1 Korinte 13:4-8.

Lapho omunye umbhanqwana uthola ukuthi indodakazi yawo yayinebulimia, wadideka ngokuthi yini owawuzoyenza. “Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi uma ungaqiniseki ngokuthi yini okumelwe uyenze, yenza into enomusa,” kuphawula uyise. “Ngaqaphela ukuthi yayiyintombazane eyigugu eyayinenkinga yomuntu siqu engathi sína. Into enomusa yayiwukumnika ukuqinisekiswa nokusekelwa okungokomzwelo.”

Wabuza indodakazi yakhe: “Ungakhathazeka yini uma mina nonyoko singahlala sikubuza ukuthi uyixazulula kanjani inkinga?” Yazwakalisa ukwazisa ngalokhu kukhathalela komusa, futhi abazali babeyibuza njalo ngezikhathi ezithile.

“Kwakunezikhathi lapho yayiqhubeka izinsuku ezithile, bese kuba amasonto ambalwa, bese kuba izinyanga ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba iphambuke,” kuchaza uyise. “Kodwa lapho ivuma ukuthi yayiphambukile, sasizama ukuyikhuthaza futhi singabonakali sidumele.” Unina wenezela: “Sasikhuluma kakhulu. Ngayitshela ukuthi yayithuthuka ngokusobala. Ngathi, ‘Kuphela nje ungadikibali. Uphumelele amasonto amabili kulokhu. Ake sibone ukuthi manje uzophumelela isikhathi esingakanani.’”

“Esinye sezizathu zokuba sihluleke ukuphawula imikhuba engavamile yokudla yendodakazi yethu kwakuwukuthi kwakuthukela sidle ukudla kwakusihlwa ndawonye,” kuphawula uyise. “Ngakho ngashintsha isimiso somsebenzi wami ukuze ngibe nomkhaya ngesikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa.” Ukwenza loloshintsho ukuze badle ndawonye, kanye nokunikeza ukunakekela kwesineke nokothando, kwasiza indodakazi yabo ukuba ilulame ngokuphelele.

Nakuba ulwela ukwenzela ogulayo okungcono kakhulu, kubalulekile ukunikeza iseluleko esidingekayo, esiwukuboniswa kothando. (IzAga 13:24) Musa ukukhusela ogulayo emiphumeleni yezenzo zakhe. Ukumenza asebenzise imali yakhe siqu ukuze athenge ukudla akusebenzisa ngesikhathi sokugimbela, noma ukuba ahlanze umonakalo wokuphalaza akubangele yena endlini encane, kungamfundisa ukuthi unomthwalo wemfanelo ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Ngokugcizelela ukuba aphile ngemithetho engenzima yasekhaya, udlulisela ukwethemba kwakho kokuthi angakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwakhe ngendlela efanele. Lokhu kungakhulisa ukuzethemba okuvame ukuntuleka kulabo abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla.

Ngenxa yokukhathazeka okungaphakathi, isiguli singase sikhulume ngokuthukuthela. Uma senza kanjalo, zama ukubheka ngalé kwentukuthelo. Zama ukuthola futhi ubhekane nomthombo ‘wokukhathazeka.’ (Jobe 6:2, 3, NW) Kwakuyinselele ekhethekile ngoJoe noAnn lapho indodakazi yabo eneanorexia iba ehlubukayo nenenhlamba.

“Saqhubeka sizama ukuyibonisa uthando esikhundleni sokumane siyixoshe ekhaya,” kusho uAnn. Umyeni wakhe wanezela: “Saqhubeka siyifunela usizo futhi sayitshela ukuthi sasiyikhathalela kangakanani.” Waba yini umphumela? Ekugcineni yaqaphela ukuthi kufanele ukuthi abazali bayo bayithanda kakhulu, futhi yaqala ukukhulumisana nabo.

Lapho ogulayo kungumntwana, ukucindezeleka kubazali, ikakhulukazi kumama, kukhulu. Khona-ke, amadoda kumelwe anikeze omkawo ukusekela okubalulekile okungokomzwelo. Musa ukudela umshado wakho ngenxa yokugula komntanakho. Yamukela imingcele onayo.

Kwezinye izimo, kungase kudingeke ufune usizo ngaphandle kwasekhaya. Hlola ngokucophelela zonke izici ezihilelekile, futhi unqume ukuthi hlobo luni losizo oluyoba olungcono kakhulu. Kuyodinga ukuqina uma isiguli singathandisisi. Senze sazi ukuthi uyokwenza okuthile ukuze uvikele ukuphila kwaso uma kudingekile, kodwa gwema ukusho izinto ongeke uzenze.

Kuyoba nezikhathi lapho uyozizwa ungenamandla futhi isimo sibonakale singaniki-themba, kodwa ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukweneka izinkinga ezinjalo ngomthandazo phambi kukaNkulunkulu wothando. Angakusiza! “Saqaphela ukuthi kwakungaphezu kwamandla ethu ukuba sikusingathe,” kusho uJoe. “Into eyinhloko esayifunda yayiwukwethembela kuJehova uNkulunkulu ngokuphelele. Akazange asilahle.”

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 13]

EZINYE IZIMPAWU ZOKUPHAZAMISEKA KWEMIKHUBA YOKUDLA

◼ Ukudla ngokuzincisha, njengokuzincisha kakhulu noma ukuzila ukudla

◼ Ukuncipha komzimba kakhulu noma ukushintshashintsha kwesisindo

◼ Imicikilisho yokudla engavamile, njengokusika ukudla kube izicucwana

◼ Ukwesaba kakhulu ukukhuluphala, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isisindo siphansi

◼ Ukuba matasa ngokukhuluma njalo ngokudla/noma isisindo, okuvame ukuhambisana nokuvivinya umzimba ngokweqile

◼ Ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini

◼ Ukuba unkom’ idla yodwa, izimpawu zokuzifihla, ikakhulukazi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi endlini encane

◼ Ukushintsha kwemizwelo, njengokucindezeleka nokucasuka kalula

◼ Ukudla kakhulu lapho ucasukile, uthukile, noma ujabulile

◼ Ukusebenzisa kabi okokuchamisa, amaphilisi okuvimba indlala, noma okokuhambisa isisu

[Isithombe ekhasini 15]

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