Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingahlala Kanjani Ekhaya Elihlukene Ngokwenkolo?

“Sakhula kanzima. Ubaba wayeyibukela phansi inkolo yethu. Kwakuhlala kunokucindezeleka ekhaya.”—UTerry.

INGABE uhlala ekhaya elihlukene ngokwenkolo? Uma kunjalo, uyazi ukuthi izimo zingaba lukhuni futhi zibe nzima kanjani. UMama noBaba bangase bazibekezelele izinkolelo zomunye nomunye, kodwa njengoba uS. Sandmel aphawula encwadini yakhe ethi When a Jew and Christian Marry: ‘“Ingabe ukubekezelela komuntu inkolo yomlingane wakhe kungadlulela ekubeni abantwana bakhuliselwe kuleyonkolo? Impendulo eqotho ezimweni eziningi iwu-cha.”

Ngokwesibonelo cabangela lokho okungase kwenzeke uma omunye wabazali bakho enguFakazi kaJehova. Lowomzali uzizwa enesibopho esingathi sina sokukukhulisa “ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi” futhi angase abe nemibono eqine ngempela ngokuphola, ukuziphatha, ukuhlanganyela emidlalweni yesikole, ukusebenzisa isikhathi ongenzi lutho ngaso, nemigomo yemisebenzi. (Efesu 6:4) Nokho. umzali wakho ongeyena uFakazi, angase abe nombono oyekelela kakhulu kulokhu.

NgeSonto ntambama uMama angase afune ukuba uhambe naye niye emhlanganweni wobuKristu. UBaba angase afune ukuba uhlale naye ekhaya futhi nibukele umdlalo webhola ku TV. “Kwakuba nezikhathi lapho ngangimhawukela khona kancane ubaba.” kukhumbula uDoug. “Wayenomsebenzi wokuthengisa, ngakho sasingamboni phakathi nesonto. khona-ke ngempela-sonto, umkhaya wawumshiya lapho uya emihlanganweni yawo. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngangingayi emhlanganweni futhi ngisale naye.”

UJesu wabona kusengaphambili ukuthi kwakuyoba khona izimo ezinjalo. Wathi: “Yebo, ngize ukuphambanisa umuntu noyise, nendodakazi nonina, nomalokazana noninazala. Nezitha zomuntu kuyakuba-ngabendlu yakhe.” (Mathewu 10:35, 36) Akukhona ukuthi uJesu wahlukanisa imikhaya ngamabomu, kodwa wayazi ukuthi kwakuyovela izinkinga lapho amalungu athile omkhaya amukela ukukhulekela kweqiniso futhi amanye engakwamukeli. Umbuzo uwukuthi: Yini okufanele uyenze uma usesimweni esinjalo?

Izingozi Okumelwe Uzigweme

Okokuqala, qaphela ukuthi umgomo awukhona nje kuphela ukujabulisa omunye wabazali bakho, kodwa uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe! Uyena ofuna “ukukhuleka ngomoya nangeqiniso.” (Johane 4:24) Kodwa ukuze wenze kanjalo ekhaya elihlukene ngokwenkolo, kunezingozi ezithile okumelwe uzigweme.

Ukuhlehla—Umfana othile oneminyaka eyeve eshumini elinambili onabazali abahlukanisile uthi ngokuvakashela uyise ongakholwa: “Uzama ukungenza ngilahle iqiniso noNkulunkulu.” Lokhu ukwenza ngokucindezela indodana yakhe ukuba ihlanganyele emikhosini yamaholide engeyona eyobuKristu. “Lokhu kungenza ngingakhululeki neze.” kuvuma umfana. Kodwa uJesu uyasikhumbuza: “Othanda uyise nonina kunami kangifanele.” (Mathewu 10:37) Ngakho-ke kumelele ngokuqinile okukholelwayo! Uma ukucela kwakho ngokuhlakanipha ukukhululeka esenzweni esithile esisolekayo kunganele, ngomusa kodwa ngokuqinile yenza umzali wakho azi ukuthi uyenqaba ukuhlehla. Njengoba umzali wakho ebona ukuzimisela kwakho okunganyakaziswa, ukucindezela kuyoncipha kancane kancane.

Nokho, kunesidingo sokulinganisela. EyabaseFilipi 4:5 ithi: “Ukubekezela [“ukuqonda,” NW] kwenu akwaziwe ngabantu bonke.” Ukuba oqondayo kuhilela ukuba ovumelana nezimo. Mhlawumbe ungahlela izinto ukuze uchithe isikhathi esengeziwe nomzali wakho ongakholwa uma ezizwa elahliwe. Khumbula, futhi, ukuthi unesibopho kubo bobabili abazali.—Efesu 6:1.

Ukuba ‘olinganisa isimo’—Ngomqondo wokulunga odukile, ungase ulingelwa ukuba uthathe uhlangothi lukaMama ezindabeni zenkolo ingenxa nje yokuthi umfowenu uthathe uhlangothi lukaBaba—noma uma ethathe olukaMama wena uthathe olukaBaba. Kodwa ingabe leso isizathu esizwakalayo sokukhetha indlela yokukhonza uNkulunkulu? Kuthiwani uma imibono kaMama engokwenkolo ingamanga, ingekho embhalweni? “Thenga iqiniso, ungathengisi ngalo.” kweluleka izAga 23:23.

Ukulandela umholi—Mhlawumbe uzizwa usondelene kangcono nomfowenu omdala noma udadewenu kunomunye wabazali bakho. Kanjalo ungase uthambekele ekulandeleni noma iyiphi indlela yenkolo akhetha ukuyilandela. “Ngangizizwa ngaleyondlela, njengoba ngangivela emkhayeni omkhulu.” kusho uRoberto. Ngakho-ke wehla ngokomoya lapho umfowabo omdala elahla ukukhulekela kweqiniso ngokuphelele futhi eshiya ikhaya. “Kwakudumaza kakhulu,” uyavuma. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzizwa usondelene kanjani nesihlobo sakho, bekungeke yini kube ubuthutha bangempela ukusivumela sikuyekise ukukhonza uNkulunkulu?

‘Hlukanisa futhi unqobe’—“Lapho ngineminyaka ecishe ibe ngu-19, ubaba waqala ukungikhuthazela ukuba ngiphole,” kukhumbula uDoug. “UMama, owayengumKristu obhapathiziwe, wayemelene nakho ngokuqinile. Masinyane ngazithola sengisekela uBaba, nakuba ngaphakathi ngangazi kahle ukuthi uMama wayeqinisile.” Lapho abazali benezindinganiso ezingafani zokuziphatha, kunamathuba amaningi okuqhatha abazali ukuze uzuze. Ungase ulingekele ekubeni ukhethe umzali oyekelela kakhulu.

Nokho, ukuqhatha abazali, kumane nje kwandise ukucindezeleka komkhaya. Futhi ukuthola imvume yokwenza okuthile owaziyo ukuthi kuwubuwula noma akulungile akunakukuxolela phambi kukaNkulunkulu. “Ngakho owaziyo ukwenza okuhle engakwenzi kuyisono kuye.” (Jakobe 4:17) Esikhundleni sokusebenzisa umzali okunikeza inkululeko eningi, kungani ungazami ukukhathalela umzali okuqondisa ’endleleni yokuphila’?—IzAga 6:23.

Ukuzikhethela Inkolo

Nokho, enye intsha ingase idideke ngempela ukuthi yimuphi umzali engase imlandele. Unganquma kanjani? lBhayibheli lisitshela ngensizwa egama layo lalinguThimothewu eyakhulela ekhaya elihlukene ngokwenkolo. Uchazwa ngokuthi “indodana yowesifazane wakwaJuda okholiweyo, kepha uyise wayengumGreki.” (IzEnzo 16:1) Ngezinye izikhathi uThimothewu kumelwe ukuba wayedideka ukuthi yimuphi umzali okumelwe amlandele. Nokho, wamukela ukholo lwenkolo kanina futhi waba umngane ojikelezayo kaPawulu. (IzEnzo 16:2, 3) Ingabe lokhu kwakuyindaba yokuthanda kakhulu unina kunoyise? Lutho neze.

Umphostoli uPawulu wabhalela uThimothewu: “Kepha wena yima kulokho okufundile nowaqiniseka kukho, wazi ukuthi ukufunde kobani, nokuthi kusukela ebuntwaneni wazi imibhalo engcwele enamandla okukuhlakaniphisa, kube-yinsindiso ngokukholwa kuKristu Jesu.” (2 Thimothewu 3:14, 15) Ngokwalokhu singaphetha ngokuthi uThimothewu wenza ukukhetha okwakusekelwe ekutadisheni okungathi sina iZwi likaNkulunkulu! ‘Waqiniseka’ wagculiselwa ukuba alikholelwe.

Esikhundleni sokwenza ukukhetha ngesisekelo sokuthinteka noma somzwelo, hlola izinkolelo zabazali bakho ngombono ‘wemibhalo engcwele.’a Ekugcineni uwena, hhayi uMama noma uBaba, onesibopho sokusebenzela ukusindiswa kwakho!—Filipi 2:12.

Ukuzuza Umzali Wakho Ongakholwa

Ngemva kokuba usuzinqumele enhliziyweni yakho ukulandela inkolo yeqiniso, khona-ke, kufanele umbheke kanjani umzali wakho ongakholwa? Umphostoli uPawulu wakhuthaza amaKristu ukuba azame ukuzuza abalingane bawo abangakholwa: “Cabanga ngakho: njengomfazi ungase ube yinsindiso yomyeni wakho: njengendoda ungase ube insindiso yomkakho.” (1 Korinte 7:12-16, The New English Bible) Ngokwesimiso, ingabe lokhu akunakusebenza kubantwana babazali abangakholwa?

Ukuziphatha kwakho okumsulwa nenhlonipho ejulile ngomzali wakho kungenza okuningi ekumsizeni ukuba abe nombono omuhle ngobuKristu beqiniso. (Qhathanisa no-1 Petru 3:1, 2) Khumbula, futhi, ukuthi ukumelela iqiniso akusho ukuthi umelene ngandlela-thile nomzali wakho ongakholwa. Yebo, ngokuqhubeka unomusa, uhlonipha, futhi ubambisana naye, ungamqinisekisa ngothando lwakho oluqhubekayo.

“Kunesikhathi sokuthula nesikhathi sokukhuluma.” (Umshumayeli 3:7. NW) Uma kuvela ithuba lokukhuluma ngezinkolelo zakho nomzali wakho ongakholwa, ngokuqinisekile kwenze lokho! IzAga 3:27 ziyasikhumbuza: “Ungagodleli abaninikho okuhle.” Kodwa yiba nomusa, uhlakaniphe; kukhona “isikhathi sokuthula nesikhathi sokukhuluma.” (Umshumayeli 3:7) Gwema ukukhuluma isikhathi eside nomzali ngenxa yokuthi wazi okwengeziwe lweBhayibheli. Kwazi bani. mhlawumbe imizamo yakho iyothela isithelo. “UBaba wayephikisa kanzima iminyaka eminingi,” kukhumbula uJay. “Kwakubonakala sengathi wayengenakushintsha nhlobo. kodwa ekugcineni samzuza.” Lapho ubaba kaJay eshona eminyakeni embalwa edlule, wayekhonza njengomdala ongumKristu.

Uma kungekho mphumela, khumbula amazwi kaDavide kumaHubo 27:10: “Ngokuba ubaba nomame bangishiyile, kodwa uJehova uzakungamukela.” Nawe futhi usekelwa abangane abathembekile ebandleni lobuKristu, ‘abangabambelela kuneselamani.’ (IzAga 18:24) Ngosizo lwabo nosizo lomzali wakho okholwayo, ungalimelela ngokuqinile iqiniso.

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Ukuqhatha abazali kungase kukuphumelelise kokufunayo, kodwa ekugcineni kwandisa ukucindezeleka komkhaya