Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingathuthuka Kanjani Ekwenzeni Ingxoxo?

USHARON osemusha uyashesha ukuzwela futhi unamahloni ngokwemvelo. Wavuma lapho ekhulumisana nePhaphama!: “Lapho ngethulwa kothile, ngiyaxakeka ukuthi ngizothini. Angifuni ukusho into engalungile futhi mhlawumbe ngicasule umuntu.” Entsheni enamahloni njengoSharon, kudinga umzamo wangempela ukwenza ingxoxo.

Kwabanye, izici zokwehlukana ngobuhlanga zingase zibe umngcele ovimbela ukukhulumisana. Cabangela indaba kaLucas, osemusha onsundu waseNingizimu Afrika, owaba ingxenye yezisebenzi zezinhlanga eziningi ezinyathelisa lomagazini ngezilimi zendawo zalelozwe. Wachaza: “Kuyisimo esithusayo ngomuntu onsundu ukuba ahlale etafuleni futhi adle ukudla nabamhlophe. Ukuza lapha nokuhlala nabantu abamhlophe kwangenza ngaba namahloni ngoba sinezizinda ezihlukene. Ngangizibuza ukuthi kazi lokho engangikusho kwakuyokwamukelwa yini. Kuthatha isikhathi ukunqoba lowomuzwa.”

Ngisho naphakathi kweqembu lohlanga olufanayo ngezinye izikhathi kunezithiyo ekukhulumisaneni. Njengoba uPieter waseNingizimu Afrika ekhumbula: “Ngakhulela epulazini futhi umkhaya wakithi wase uthuthela edolobheni. Ngangingaxoxa ngokuphila kwasemapulazini kodwa ukuphila kwasedolobheni kwakwehluke kakhulu. Ngazithola ngilalele ingxoxo yabangane bami ngokwesaba, futhi ngamane ngazithulela nje.”

Uma unenkinga efanayo nenye yalezi ezingenhla, yini ongayenza ngayo?

Ukunqoba Amahloni

Ingabe uzizwa unokwesaba lapho uphakathi kwabanye? Ungadangali, lolu uphawu oluvamile lokukhula. Iminyaka yobusha iyisikhathi sokuziqaphela—lapho intsha ikhathazeka kakhulu ngalokho abanye abakucabangayo ngayo. Ngokuvamile igwema ukunakwa futhi isho okuncane ngangokunokwenzeka.

UDkt. Tony Lake encwadini yakhe ethi Loneliness uyachaza: “Amahloni awuhlobo oluthile lwesivikelo. Umuntu onamahloni uvikelekile ekwenzeni amaphutha ngoba amahloni ayamvimba umuntu onjalo ekungeneni engozini yokubonakala noma yokuzwakala eyisithutha.” Umqondo nje wokungenela engxoxweni ungenza abantu abanamahloni bajuluke! Bamane nje abakwazi ukuqunga isibindi esanele sokukhuluma. Noma uma besiqunga, amazwi aphuma ngendlela engahlelekile. Abalalele bangase babonakale bedidekile noma baze ngisho bahleke. Uma lokhu kwenzeka kuwe, yini okumelwe uyenze?

“Impendulo iwukuba sizinike isikhathi, futhi singalenzi iphutha lokucabanga ukuthi kukhona okuthile okungalungile ngathi ngokuyinhloko. Kumelwe sigxile ekulaleleni kuze kube yilapho sesinomuzwa wokuthi sesikulungele ukukhuluma,” kuchaza uDkt. Lake. (Qhathanisa noJakobe 1:19.) Lokhu kusabela okuqondile kuye kwasiza abaningi, njengoIrene onamahloni. Uyachaza: “Ngizilalelisisa ngokucophelela izingxoxo zabanye abantu ukuze ngifunde kubo. Khona-ke ngenza ukucwaninga futhi ngitadishe ukuze ngithole ukwaziswa okwengeziwe. Uma kukhulunywa ngento efanayo futhi, ngiyakwazi ukuxoxa ngayo.”

Kuthiwani Uma Uqondwa Kabi?

Ngezinye izikhathi umzamo wakho wobuqotho wokwenza ingxoxo ungase ulethe ukusabela okuphambene; lokho okushoyo kuthathwe ngendlela engafanele. Nalapha, ungazithathi ngokungathi sína izenzakalo ezinjalo kangangokuba zikubangele ukuba unyibe ngokwesaba. “Ungasheshi ukuthukuthela emoyeni wakho, ngokuba ulaka luhlala ezifubeni zeziwula,” kusho umShumayeli 7:9.

IBhayibheli lisitshela ngoDavide osemusha lowo esikhathini eside esidlule owaqondwa kabi. Uyise wamthuma nesipho esithile kubafowabo abadala ababekhonza empini yamaIsrayeli. Lapho efika, uDavide washaqeka ukuzwa ukweyisa kwesiqhwaga esingumFilisti, uGoliyati. “Ngubani lowomFilisti ongasokile ukuba ayeyise impi kaNkulunkulu ophilayo na?” ebuza amabutho. Omunye wabafowabo bakaDavide, uEliyabe, wakuzwa lokhu futhi wathukuthela. Ahlulela kabi isisusa sokuza komfowabo omncane, wathi: “Mina ngiyakwazi ukuziphakamisa kwakho nobubi benhliziyo yakho, ngokuba wehlile ukuba ubuke impi.”—1 Samuweli 17:26-28.

Mhlawumbe nawe ngokufanayo uye waqondwa kabi ngabanye. Uma kunjalo, ungakuvumeli ukuba kukudumaze. Njengoba isisusa sikaDavide esihle sembuleka ngokushesha, ngakho nawe ngokufanayo imizamo yakho yobuqotho yokwenza ingxoxo enhle iyovuzwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa ukuthi, ‘imisebenzi emihle, iba sobala.’ (1 Thimothewu 5:24, 25) Ngakho, qhubeka nokuzama.

Isidingo Sozwela

Nokho, ungaqalisa kanjani? ULarry L. Barker encwadini yakhe ethi Communication uyaphawula: “Uhlobo lokukhulumisana olukhiqiza kakhulu, luwukusebenzelana ngozwela. Uzwela lusho ukuqonda abanye abantu ngokujulile, ukuzihlanganisa nemicabango yabo, ukuzwa ubuhlungu ababuzwayo, ukuhlanganyela injabulo yabo.” Isibonelo esivelele ekuboniseni lemfanelo uJesu Kristu. Wake waqalisa ingxoxo nababili babafundi bakhe ababedabukile ngokufa kwakhe. Ezifihle isimo sakhe sangempela. uJesu ovusiwe wabuza: “Zindaba zini lezi enikhuluma ngazo omunye nomunye nihamba na?”—Luka 24:17.

Laba ababili babonisa ukumangala ngokuthi ‘lesihambi’ sasingezwanga ngezenzakalo ezidabukisayo ezazisanda kwenzeka nje eJerusalema. “Zinto zini na?” kubuza uJesu futhi. Kwalandela ingxoxo ephilayo futhi ngemva kwalokho omunye wabafundi waphawula: “Inhhziyo yethu ibingavuthi yini phakathi kwethu, lapho ekhuluma kithi endleleni, nalapho esivulela imibhalo na?” (Luka 24:13-32) Yebo, uJesu wajabulela izingxoxo eziningi ezinhle ngoba wayebalalela abanye futhi ebonisa uzwela.—Johane 4:7-26.

Ukuqalisa Ingxoxo

Phawula ukuthi lengxoxo engenhla yaqaliswa ngombuzo olula. Imibuzo iyindlela enhle kakhulu yokuqalisa ingxoxo. Yebo, kulula ukucabanga ngombuzo wesihloko esithakazelisa ngokujulile kuwe, kodwa lokhu kungase kungaholeli njalo engxoxweni ephilayo. Khumbula, iBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuba ‘sibe nesithakazelo nakwabanye, nakulokho abakwenzayo.’ (Filipi 2:4, The Living Bible) Ngakho, okudingekile ngawe kuwukuba ucabange ngombuzo umngane wakho ayokujabulela ukuwuphendula. Lokho kudinga uzwela. Kungase kudingeke ukuba ukhethe isihloko esingakuthakazelisi, kodwa ungase uvuzwe kakhulu ngokusabela okufudumele kanye nokwaziswa okuwusizo.

Umlobi uLes Donaldson ufaka ohlwini “izindlela eziyishumi ezilula zokuqalisa ingxoxo.” Okuyisikhombisa kokusikiseia kwakhe kuhilela imibuzo, ebuza ngesizinda somuntu, ecela iseluleko, usizo, umbono, ubufakazi ngokufaneleka kokuthile, ebuza ngemikhuba yendawo noma izitolo ezinezindawo zokudlela zaleyondawo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yimuphi umbuzo, kumelwe ubuzwe ngobuqotho. Kumelwe futhi unakekele indlela olalela ngayo. (Qhathanisa noLuka 8:18.) Uma uvumela ingqondo namehlo akho kuzule, cishe umuntu ophendulayo uyongabaza ukuthi unesithakazelo ngempela kulokho okumelwe akusho.

Okunye ukusikisela okuthathu kukaDonaldson kokuqalisa ingxoxo yilokhu: ukukhuluma ngesenzakalo esenzeke kuleyondawo; ukuphawula okuthile okubona kufanele ukutuswa, njengobuhle bendawo; noma ukuncoma. “Uma ufuna izinto ongancoma abantu ngazo, uyozithola ngobuningi,” kusho lomlobi encwadini yakhe ethi Conversational Magic. Kodwa unezela lesixwayiso: “Abantu babona ngalé kokunconywa okumbuluzayo futhi cishe ngeke baxoxe isikhathi eside nomuntu ombuluzayo.”

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyiphi “indlela” yokuxoxa oyikhethayo, umzamo wokuphikelela ngokuvamile uletha imiphumela. Cabangela uSharon ophawulwe ekuqaleni. Manje useneminyaka engama-22 ubudala futhi uye wenza intuthuko ephawulekayo ekunqobeni amahloni akhe. Kusukela kwakhulunyiswana naye eminyakeni emibili edlule, uye waba isikhonzi sesikhathi esigcwele soFakazi BakaJehova, esebenzisa amahora angaphezu kwenkulungwane ngonyaka evakashela abantu angabazi futhi eqalisa izingxoxo zeBhayibheli. Kanti uLucas noPieter, manje sebeye basebenza iminyaka eminingi ndawonye ekukhiqizweni kwezincwadi zeBhayibheli egatsheni leWatch Tower Society eNingizimu Afrika, futhi ungakuthola kunzima ukukholelwa ukuthi nabo bake baba nenkinga yokuzama ukwenza ingxoxo.

Ngakho uma ngenxa yesizathu esithile ukuthola kunzima ukwenza ingxoxo, ungadinwa; zinike isikhathi. Lalela abanye. Tadisha futhi ufunde ukuze uhambisana nezihloko ezisematheni. Ukwakha ikhono lengxoxo kuyocebisa ukuphila kwakho futhi kwenezele enjabulweni yabanye.

[Isithombe ekhasini 13]

Yenza umzamo wokuzimisela ukuze uhileleke engxoxweni