Inkulisa Ukukhethela Ingane Yakho Engcono Kakhulu!

IMPIKISWANO ngenkulisa iyinkimbinkimbi. Ngemikhaya eminingi, inkulisa igcwalisa isidingo esingokoqobo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, imibuzo ephazamisayo iye yaphakanyiswa ngokuphathelene nomphumela wayo ezinganeni. Ngakho-ke abazali kumelwe babhekane neqiniso lokuthi inkulisa inazo zombili izici ezinhle kanye nezimbi, nokuthi akuzona zonke izinkulisa ezinakekela ngokusezingeni eliphezulu. Kumelwe kucatshangwe ngokungathi sina ngaphambi kokubeka ingane enkulisa.

‘Ikuphi Okungcono Ngezinsana?’

Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ingane yakho iwusana oluncane? Ezinye izazi, njengesazi sengqondo esihlonishwayo uBurton White, simelana ngokuqinile nokubekwa kwezinsana enkulisa. Watshela iPhaphama!: “Phakathi nezinyanga zokuqala eziyisithupha zokuphila, izingane ezikhula kahle kakhulu yilezo ezinikezwa ukunakekelwa okukhulu; lezo ezithola ukunakekelwa okusheshayo lapho zikhathazekile nezijabulela ukudlala okuningi okujabulisayo nalowo ocabanga ukuthi akukho okubaluleke kakhulu emhlabeni kunaleyongane!”

UDr. White waqhubeka, “Lapho ingane iqala ukukhasa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha noma eziyisikhombisa zobudala, manje leyongane idinga ukwamukelwa okusheshayo ngothile oyithanda kakhulu! Injongo yalokho ukusiza inqubo engokwemvelo yokufunda, ukusekela ukushisekela kwayo ukwazi, ukwandisa intshiseko yayo, ukwenza izinto eziningi ezisekela ukukhula komuntu oqinile. Ingane ayikutholi lokhu kusekela kubanakekeli ababambelayo. Akuvamile ukuba othile ongeyena umzali wengane noma ogogo nomkhulu bayo babonise isithakazelo esinjalo.”

Umprofethi wasendulo wabuza: “Owesifazane angakhohlwa umntwana wakhe oncelayo ukuba angabinamusa kuyo indodana yesizalo sakhe na?” (Isaya 49:15) Omama basabela ngokushesha kukho konke ukufuna uthando nokunakekelwa okungapheli kwengane. Kodwa ingabe umnakekeli oqashiwe—onezinsana eziningi ezikhalela ukunakekelwa—angasabela yini ngendlela umzali ayengasabela ngayo? IBhayibheli likhuluma ngendlela “umdlezane ondla abantwana bakhe” ngayo. (1 Thesalonika 2:7) Nakuba kungebona bonke omama abakwazi ukuncelisa, ukwenza kanjalo kukhulisa ubuhlobo bukamama nengane. Ingabe usana olusenkulisa lungakuthola ukondliwa okunjalo?

Ukuhlola Okuza Kuqala Kuwe

Ngakho abanye odokotela batusa ukuba ungayisi ingane yakho kothile ukuba ayinakekele okungenani kuze kube yilapho ingane inezinyanga ezine. Nokho, uDr. White usikisela ukuthi kumelwe izinsana zingabi “nalutho ngaphandle komzanyana wezikhathi ezithile ezinyangeni zokuqala eziyisithupha zokuphila. Ngemva kwalokho, zingathola ukunakekelwa okuthile kwezinga eliphakeme hhayi amahora angaphezu kwamathathu kuya kwamane ngosuku.”

Ake sithi inkulisa ayilungile ezinsaneni. Ngeke yini izinsana ngokukhula zishiye izinkinga eziwumphumela wayo? UDr. White uyawuphikisa lowomqondo: “Lokho kuyosho ukwenza ukuhlola. Ngeke ngilinge inhlanhla ngezingane zami, futhi ngeke ngikutuse nakomunye umuntu.”

Nakuba abaningi bethambekele ekwenqabeni ukuma okuqine kanjalo, kunzima ukususa imibono kaDr. White engqondweni. Nokho, abazali—hhayi abacwaningi—okumelwe bakhethe okungcono kubo kanye nangezingane zabo, futhi ngokuvamile kucatshangelwa nesimo sezomnotho. Ngakho ngemva kokuhlola ngokunakekela zonke izici ezihilelekile, abanye basenokukhetha ukusebenzisa olunye uhlobo lokunakekela usana.—Bheka ikhasi 10.

Abanye bangase babe sesimweni sokubuye bacabange kabusha ngalokho okuza kuqala kubo. Kakade, izingane ziba yizinsana kanye kuphela. Ithuba lokuqeqesha ingane “kusukela ebuntwaneni” lidlula ngokushesha. (2 Thimothewu 3:15) Uma ukuyeka umsebenzi wokuziphilisa iminyaka embalwa—noma ukumane uphile ngenzuzo encane—kungenzeki, khona-ke abanye bangase bakhethe ukubamba itoho. Lokhu kuvumela abazali ukuba bahlale bengabanakekeli abayinhloko bezingane zabo.

Ukukhetha Inkulisa

Ingabe izingane ezicathulayo zingabekwa ngokulondekile enkulisa? Abacwaningi banemibono engafani, kodwa abaningi bayavuma ukuthi amandla engane okubekezelela ukuhlukana nabazali bayo akhula neminyaka. Nalapha futhi, abazali kumelwe banqume ukuthi izingane zabo zingahlala yini enkulisa. Uma kunjalo, lokhu akusho ukuyibeka kunoma iyiphi inkulisa yokuqala abayitholayo. UDoby Flowers, isekela lomqondisi weGatsha Lokukhula Kwezingane laseNew York, uyaluleka: “Khetha inkulisa ngokucophelela okukhulu. Iliphi idumela inkulisa enalo emphakathini? Ingabe izinto zokudlala namathoyizi kuyilungele iminyaka yengane? Ingabe inakekelwa kahle futhi ihlanzekile? Ziyini izincwadi zomsebenzi zezisebenzi?”

Yebo, izisebenzi—hhayi izinto zokudlala ezinhle noma amathoyizi—ziyisici esibaluleke kakhulu ekunakekelweni kwengane. Ngakho hambela izinkulisa namakhaya amaningi futhi uzibonele ngokwakho indlela abanakekeli abahlangene ngayo nezingane —ikakhulukazi ingane yakho. Buza: Izisebenzi zibambelela isikhathi esingakanani? Hlobo luni lokudla okudliwayo? Zingaki izingane ezinakekelwa isisebenzi ngasinye? (Lapho zimbalwa, kuba ngcono.) Ingabe izingane zibonakala zijabule futhi zikhululekile? Ingabe inkulisa enkulu noma ikhaya lihlangabezana nezidingo zendawo eziyigunyazayo nezokuphepha? Iyini inqubo yansuku zonke yemisebenzi?

Ukwazi ukuthi unenkulisa engcono kakhulu—nongakwazi ukuyikhokhela—kungenza okuningi ekuqedeni umuzwa wecala ongadingekile.

Ukusebenzisa Kahle Inkulisa

Manje njengoba ikhaya elifanele noma inkulisa isitholakele, ungamane uqale ukushiya ingane yakho lapho. Yichazele ukuthi kungani kumelwe ibe lapho. Yiqinisekise ngokuthi awuyilahlile. Yenze ikhululeke enkulisa, mhlawumbe uvakashe nayo izikhathi eziningana—ngezikhawu ezandayo—enkulisa noma ekhaya ngaphambi kokuyishiya lapho usuku lonke. Futhi, lapho uyishiya ekuseni, “ungayijahi ingane!,” kululeka umqondisi wenkulisa uBernice Spence. “Thatha isikhathi sokuyiduduza uma icasukile.”

Nokho, abaqondisi bakuqala benkulisa uWilliam noWendy Dreskin bayaxwayisa: “Izingane zingaqala ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi azinakuzikhethela, futhi zizobekezelela isimo ezikuso. Zingase ziyeke ukuveza imizwelo yazo ezisebenzini zasenkulisa nakubazali bazo, kodwa lemizwelo ayiphelanga.” Ngakho-ke kumelwe uqaphele ukusabela kwengane yakho ngenkulisa. Thatha isikhathi nixoxe ngezenzakalo zosuku lwayo. Lalela izikhalo zayo. (izAga 21:13) Qaphela izimpawu zokukhathazeka, njengamaphupho asabisayo noma ukuchama ilele. Umeluleki wenkulisa uDelores Alexander wachaza: “Zonke izingane zisabela ngokwehlukile, futhi akuzona zonke izingane ezingabekezelela izindawo ezinabantwana abaningi.”

Abazali abangamaKristu badinga ukuba banikeze ukunakekela okukhethekile

ezinganeni zabo. Ngokwesibonelo, oFakazi BakaJehova abahlanganyeli ezintweni eziphathelene namaholide athile enkolo. Nakuba bezikhandla ukuba bafundise intsha yabo lokhu kuma okusekelwe eBhayibhelini, izingane zabo ezisencane zingase zingakwazi ukuqonda izinselele ezihilelekile ngokugcweIe. Zingase zicasuke lapho ziyekiswa izinto “ezijabulisayo.” Ngakho abazali abangamaKristu kumelwe benze njengabakhulumeli bezingane zabo, bazise abanakekeli ngokuqondiie izinto ezingavunyelwe futhi baxoxe ngezinto okungaphendukelwa kuzo.a

Babheka nokuthi izingane zabo azithathi yini izindlela zokungamesabi uNkulunkulu kwezinye izingane. Incwadi ethi Ukulalela uMfundisi Omkhulu (eyanyatheliswa yiWatchtower Society) iye yasiza abazali abaningi ukuba bagxilise ukwazisa izimiso zokwesaba uNkulunkulu ngisho nasezinganeni ezincane kakhulu.

Ungayivumeli inkulisa yone isibopho sothando esiphakathi kwakho nengane yakho. lBhayibheli lixoxa ngowesifazane ogama iakhe linguHana, owathi nakuba ayehlukene nengane yakhe encane uSamuweli isikhathi eside wagcina ubuhlobo obunothando nayo. (1 Samuweli 2:18, 19) Ngokuqinisekile, ungenza okufanayo uma usisebenzisa ngokuhlakanipha isikhathi esiyigugu oba naso nengane yakho ekupheleni kosuku ngalunye nangezimpelasonto. Ngempela, ngokunakekela okufanele, lobobuhlobo bungachuma!

Ngisho nasohlangothini lwakho olungcono kakhulu, ukunakekelwa ngothile kuhlala kunjalo nje—ukuthatha isikhundla sokunakekela sikamama nobaba onothando. Eqinisweni, kukude kakhulu nokuba okufiselwayo. Kuze kube yilapho isimiso esisha sikaNkulunkulu esithenjisiwe sifika nezimo zaso zokulunga, abazali abaningi bangase baphoqeleke ukusebenzisa ukunakekelwa othile. (2 Petru 3:13; Isaya 65:17-23) Kodwa uma lokhu kunjalo endabeni yakho, kukhethe ngokunakekela. Qaphela n j alo indlela okuthinta ngayo ingane yakho—ngokomzimba, ngokwemizwelo, nangokomoya. Kakade, izingane ziyifa elivela kuNkulunkulu. —iHubo 127:3.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

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Izindlela Ezihlukahlukene Zokunakekela Ingane—Ubuhle Nobubi Bazo

Abazali abaningi kakhulu basebenzisa izindlela ezihlukahlukene ezingemthetho zokunakekela izingane zabo. Nazi ezinye zazo:

OGOGO NOMKHULU: abanye bakholelwa ukuthi njengabanakekeli, ogogo nomkhulu kuphela abalandela abazali bemvelo. Ogogo nomkhulu bangakhathala ngokushesha ngomthwalo wemfanelo onezelwe njengoba ingane isicathula. Futhi umehluko wezindinganiso zokukhulisa umntwana (‘Ugogo wazi kangcono’) ngokuvamile udala izingxabano. UFredelle Maynard encwadini yakhe ethi The Child Care Crisis, uthi: “Eqinisweni ngenxa yokuthi [ugogo] uyisihlobo, akazithathi iziyalo futhi angase adinge ukuphathwa ngendlela yokutotoswa. Uma umnakekeli oqashiwe eshaya ingane yakho noma eyifunza amaswidi esikhundleni samasi, ungase umsole futhi uma kudingekile umxoshe. Uma ugogo eqa umthetho nezindinganiso zakho, inkathazo leyo.”

Nokho, ingxoxo engagunciyo phakathi kwabazali kanye nogogo, ngokuvamile ingavimbela ukungezwani okungadingekile. lBhayibheli lithi: “Lapho kungekho khona ukululekana, amasu ayachitheka.” (izAga 15:22) Ugogo angayithanda ingane, kodwa kumelwe futhi aqaphele ukuthi iBhayibheli linikeza umthwalo wemfanelo wokukhulisa ingane kubazali bengane. (Efesu 6:4) Ngakho abazali nogogo nomkhulu kumelwe bamise imithetho abavumelane ngayo nezindinganiso uma ilungiselelo elinjalo lizosebenza ngokwanelisayo.

IZELAMANI EZEVE ESHUMINI ELINAMBILI: Lapho sezikhule ngokwanele futhi zinomthwalo wemfanelo, lokhu, futhi, kungasebenza kahle. Ngokuvamile intsha kuyayicasula ukutshelwa ukuthi, ‘Nakekela udadewenu omncane.’ Futhi umnakekeli wengane ongabekezeli kunokwenzeka angathembeki, anganaki, futhi ayekelele. Khumbula, iBhayibheli lithi, “Ubuwula buboshelwe enhliziyweni yomntwana.” —IzAga 22:15.

Ngakho ukunakekelana kwezingane kumelwe kuqashelisiswe. Qiniseka ukuthi indodana yakho endala noma indodakazi ineziyalo eziqondile zokufunza, ukunakekela, nokusingatha izimo eziphuthumayo nokuthi izimisele yini ukunikeza ingane yakho ukunakekela okudingekayo.

UKUSEBENZA NGEZIKHATHI EZINGAFANI: Imibhangqwana eminingi izama ukusingatha ukunakekela ingane ngokwayo ngokusebenza ngezikhathi ezingafani. Omunye ubaba uyachaza: “Ngiya emsebenzini emini noma ntambama kakhulu lapho umkami efika ekhaya. Ngakho izingane zethu ‘zinakekelwa’ omunye wabazali. . . . Sinomuzwa wokuthi lelilungiselelo liye lenza ukuba sobabili sizazi kahle kakhulu izingane zethu futhi sibe yithonya eliyinhloko ekuphileni kwazo.”

Nokho, kunezici ezimbi kulokhu okubonakala kukuhle. Imibhangqwana ingafana ‘nabantu ababonana bedlula,’ ibe nesikhathi esincane kakhulu somunye nomunye. Futhi umzali ofikayo okade esebenza ebusuku akabi umnakekeli oqaphe kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuba aphumule ngokwanele phakathi nemini. Eminye imibhangqwana inomuzwa wokuthi uma nje ikwazi ukunakekela izingane zayo ngokwayo ukuzidela okunjalo kufanelekile.

ABAZANYANA ABAQASHIWE: Ngokuvamile umzanyana oqeqeshiwe, onothando angaba umnakekeli okhethekile. Nokho, abazariyana bayabiza. Eminye imikhaya ibalekela izindleko ngokuhlangana nomunye umkhaya noma emibili futhi iqashe ngokuhlangene othile ozonakekela izingane zabo. Inkinga iwukuthola umuntu ofanele. IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: Ingqongqo yenza konke yodwa; oqasha isiwula uqasha abadlulayo nje.’—IzAga 26:10.

Lokhu kusho ukuhlola ngokucophelela noma ubani ongamethemba ukuba akubhekele ingane yakho. Yini ngempela oyaziyo ngalomzanyana omlindele? Ingabe unakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphambili noma ukuqeqeshelwa ukunakekela ingane? Uzizwa kanjani ngengane yakho nayo ngaye? Ingabe unemikhuba engathandeki—enjengokubuka iTV ngokweqile, ukubhema ugwayi, noma ukusebenzisa kabi imilaliso? Ingabe uzimisele ukuvumelana nezimiso zakho nemithetho yekhaya?

Uma ekugcineni umkhaya uthola umuntu othembekile, onakekelayo, ngokuvamile kuye kube buhlungu kuwo ukubona ukuthi abazanyana baziwa kabi ngokungabambeleli isikhathi eside. Enganeni, lokhu kungasho ukuba sosizini ezikhathini ezithile njengoba abazanyana befika—bahambe futhi.

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Izingane Ezishiywe Zodwa

Inani elikhulayo lezingane lizibheka ngokwalo. Zibizwa ngokuthi izingane zokhiye ngoba ngokuvamile zinikwa okhiye basemakhaya azo ukuze zingene endlini, njengoba kungakabikho muntu ekhaya. Abanye bazilinganisela ezigidini izingane zokhiye eUnited States kuphela.

Izazi zokunakekelwa kwengane zinemibono ehlukene ngokuthi ingane kumelwe ibe ngengakanani ngaphambi kokuba ishiywe yodwa ngokulondekile kungakhathaliseki ubude besikhathi. Ngakhoke abazali kumelwe banqume ngokucophelela lokho okungcono ngengane yabo, becabangela iminyaka yayo, isimo sayo, amakhono, nezimo ezithile zekhaya nendawo ezungezile. Umthetho wezwe n awo uyisici esibalulekile, njengoba ukushiya ingane yodwa kungase kungavunyelwa ngokomthetho emphakathini wakini.—Roma 13:1.

Lapho ilungiselelo lokuphatha ukhiye kumelwe lisetshenziswe, izinyathelo eziningi eziwusizo zingase zisize ekuqinisekiseni ukulondeka kwengane:

1. Qiniseka ukuthi iyazi ukuthi ingakuthinta kanjani, mhlawumbe ikushayele ucingo ngokushesha lapho ifika ekhaya ibuya esikoleni.

2. Gcina izinombolo zocingo ezibalulekile (ekadokoteia, eyamaphoyisa, eyomnyango wezomlilo) zibekwe eduze kocingo.

3. Yala ingane yakho ukuba ingazivuleli izihambi ezingaziwa umnyango.

4. Mika ingane yakho iziqondiso zokusetshenziswa kwezinto zokusebenza ezingaba yingozi. Ungawushiyi umentshisi noma yikuphi.

5. Gcina ingane yakho imatasa ngemisebenzi emincane nomsebenzi wasekhaya.—Bheka iPhaphama! kaSeptember 8, 1986, amakhasi 14-16.

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Akuvamile ukuba isisebenzi sasenkulisa sibonise isithakazelo enganeni ebesingaboniswa umzali