LOKUNGASITA UMNDENI | UMSHADO
Tebuchwephesha Setibaluleke Kakhulu Yini Kuwe Kwendlula Umshado Wakho?
Kusebentisa tebuchwephesha kungawucinisa umshado wakho nome kuwulimate. Wena ungatsi tiwutsintsa njani wakho umshado?
Lokufanele ukwati
Tebuchwephesha natisetjentiswa kahle tingawusita umshado. Sibonelo nje, labanye labashadene batisebentisela kuchumana nakusachubeka lilanga nabangekho ndzawonye.
“Umlayeto lomfishane lotsi ‘Ngiyakutsandza’ nome ‘Ngicabanga ngawe’ unganenta nisondzelane.”—Jonathan.
Natisetjentiswa kabi tebuchwephesha tingabanga tinkinga emshadweni. Sibonelo nje, labanye bahlale basetintfweni tabo tebuchwephesha, lokudla sikhatsi lokufanele ngabe basicitsa nalabo labashade nabo.
“Ngicabanga kutsi tikhona tikhatsi lapho umyeni wami bekafuna khona kukhuluma nami kodvwa wangalitfoli litfuba ngobe mine bengiselucingweni.”—Julissa.
Labanye bantfu batsi bayakhona kucoca kahle nebalingani babo, ngesikhatsi lesifanako babe banake tincingo. Ngekusho kwaSherry Turkle, lodadisha indlela bantfu labenta ngayo tintfo (sociologist), “umuntfu angeke akhone kwenta tintfo letinyenti ngasikhatsi sinye futsi tonkhe tiphumelele.” Utsi: “Ecinisweni umuntfu nakengeta lokunye etikwaloku lebesekavele akwenta, angeke asakwenta kahle konkhe.”a Kuyacaca kutsi kwenta tintfo letinyenti ngasikhatsi sinye akusiyo intfo lekahle njengobe bantfu bacabanga.
“Ngiyakujabulela kucoca nemyeni wami, kodvwa hhayi nakukhona lokunye lakwentako. Nakacoca nami abe enta lokunye elucingweni lwakhe, ngiva ngatsi akanendzaba nami, kutsi ngikhona nome angikho kuyafana kuye.”—Sarah.
Lokubalulekile lokufanele ukwati kutsi: Indlela losebentisa ngayo tebuchwephesha ingawusita nome iwulimate umshado wakho.
Longakwenta
Kwati lokubaluleke kakhulu. LiBhayibheli litsi: Ciniseka “ngetintfo letibaluleke kakhulu.” (KubaseFiliphi 1:10) Tibute, ‘Mine naloyo lengishade naye sicitsa sikhatsi lesinyenti etintfweni tebuchwephesha yini kunekutsi sisicitse ndzawonye?’
“Kuvisana buhlungu kubona indvodza nemkayo bahleti ndzawonye endzaweni yekudlela kodvwa banake tincingo tabo bangacoci. Asifuni kuba tigcili tetintfo tetfu tebuchwephesha bese siyakhohlwa kutsi lokubaluleke kakhulu ngumshado wetfu.”—Matthew.
Tibekeleni imincele. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Caphelisisani kutsi indlela lenihamba ngayo ayifani neyebantfu labangakahlakaniphi kodvwa ifana neyebantfu labahlakaniphile, nisisebentise kahle sikhatsi senu.” (Kubase-Efesu 5:15, 16) Tibute, ‘Ngingatibekela yini sikhatsi eceleni sekuphendvula imilayeto lengaphutfumi kunekutsi ngiyiphendvule nome nini nayingena?’
“Ngikutfole kulusito kufaka lucingo lwami esimeni sekungaphatamisi (silence) bese ngiphendvula imilayeto ngalesinye sikhatsi. Akukavami kutsi kungene lucingo nome umlayeto lophutfumako lodzinga kutsi ngiphendvule ngekushesha.”—Jonathan.
Nakungenteka, ungawuletsi umsebenti wakho ekhaya. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Yonkhe intfo inesikhatsi sayo.” (Umshumayeli 3:1) Tibute, ‘Ngisebentisa lucingo lwami yini kuze ngisebente ngisho sengisekhaya? Nangabe kunjalo, loko kuwutsintsa njani umshado wami? Loyo lengishade naye angatsini ngaloku?’
“Tebuchwephesha tenta kube melula kutsi sisebente nome ngabe ngunini nome ngabe sikuphi. Kudzingeke kutsi ngente imetamo kuze ngiyekele kubuka imilayeto lephatselene nemsebenti ngesikhatsi lesingicitsa nemkami.”—Matthew.
Coca naloshade naye ngendlela lenisebentisa ngayo tintfo tebuchwephesha. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Nguloyo naloyo akangatifuneli lokusita yena, kodvwa akachubeke afuna lokusita lomunye umuntfu.” (1 KubaseKhorinte 10:24) Coca naloyo loshade naye ngekutsi ngamunye wenu utisebentisa njani tebuchwephesha nekutsi nakunesidzingo, yini leningayishintja. Incenye letsi leningacoca ngako lekulesihloko inemibuto lenganisita nanicoca.
“Mine nemyeni wami siyakhulumisana nasiva ngatsi munye wetfu usebentisa lucingo nome i-tablet ngalokwecile. Sobabili siyati kutsi kusebentisa kakhulu tebuchwephesha kungabanga tinkinga, ngako siyayinaka indlela lomunye lativa ngayo.”—Danielle.
Lokubalulekile lokufanele ukwati kutsi: Kufanele usebentise tebuchwephesha kuze tikusite, kunekutsi utivumele tikulawule.
a Kutsetfwe encwadzini letsi, Reclaiming Conversation—The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.