Denho Yokutarisira

“PADZIMWE nguva ndaishuva kuti kudai ndaigona kunzvenga mamiriro acho ezvinhu. Asi aindida kupfuura kare kose. Padzimwe nguva ndainzwa ndiri ndoga zvikuru.”—Jeanny, uyo akatarisira murume wake aiva nemakore 29 okukura kwemwedzi 18 asati afa nebundu romuuropi.a

“Pane nguva apo ndinonzwa ndashatiriswa naAmai, uye ipapo ndinonyangadzwa neni ndimene. Ndinonzwa ndiri mukundikani apo ndisingagoni kugonana nomugariro wacho zvakanaka.”—Rose, ane makore 59, uyo akatarisira amai vake vakanga vasisina simba vaiva nemakore 90 okukura, avo vakanga vasisabvi pamubhedha.

Mashoko okurwara kunouraya kana kuti kwenguva refu anogona kuva anoparadza kumhuri neshamwari. “Panguva yokunzverwa mhuri iri yose inonzwa iri yoga. Vangasaziva munhu upi noupiwo zvake akambova nechinetso ichi,” anodaro Jeanne Munn Bracken, muChildren With Cancer. Vanowanzovawo “vanokatyamadzwa nevasingadaviri,” saElsa apo akaziva kuti shamwari yake ine makore 36 okukura Betty yakanga ine kenza. Sue, uyo baba vake vakanga vachirwara, akanzwa “achirwara, achisvotwa” mudumbu make apo akaziva pakupedzisira kuti baba vake vakanga vachifa nekenza.

Mitezo yemhuri neshamwari ingazviwana imene kamwe kamwe yapinzwa mubasa romutarisiri—ichigovera zvinodikanwa zvomumuviri nezvemirangariro zveuyo ari kurwara. Ingafanira kubika zvokudya zvinovaka muviri, kutarisira kurapwa, kuronga chokufambisa kuenda kwachiremba, kutandadza vashanyi vomurwere, kunyora tsamba nokuda kwomurwere, uye zvakawanda, zvikuru kwazvo. Kazhinji kazhinji mibato yakadaro inomanikidzirwa murudungwe rwakatobatikana.

Sezvo mamiriro omurwere anonyanya kushata, zvisinei, basa rokutarisira rinova rinotorayira zvikuru. Ikoku kungabatanidzei? “Chinhu chiri chose!” anokuwa kudaro Elsa pamusoro peshamwari yake Betty isisabvi pamubhedha. “Kumugeza nokumudyisa, kumubetsera apo anorutsa, kurasa weti yake.” Kathy, pasinei zvapo nokushanda basa renguva izere, aitofanira kutarisira amai vake vairwara. Sue, adudzwa pakuvamba, anotaura nezvo“kutora nokunyora tembiricha [yababa vake] pahafu yeawa iri yose, kuvaita kuti vatonhorerwe nokuvanyorovesa apo tembiricha yakanga ichikwira, uye kuchinja zvipfeko zvavo nemachira emubhedha maawa mashomanene ari ose.”

Rudzi rwokutarisira uko murwere anogamuchira ruchatsamira zvikuru pagarikano yeavo vari kugovera tarisiro yacho. Bva, mirangariro nezvinodikanwa zvaavo vanotarisira anorwara zvinowanzofuratirwa. Kana kutarisira kwakangoguma nemisana inorwadza nemapfudzi akakuvara, kwaizova kwakaoma zvakakwana. Asi, seizvo vatarisiri vazhinjisa vachasimbisa, tarisiro yacho inogoverwa pamutengo mukuru wemirangariro.

“Kwainyadzisa Zvikuru”

“Fundo dzinorondedzera panhambo nenhambo kurwadziwa kunobva muzviito [zvomurwere] zvisinganzwisisiki, zvinonyadzisa, uye kubvotomoka,” inoshuma kudaro The Journals of Gerontology. Somuenzaniso, Gillian anorondedzera zvakaitika pashure pokunge imwe shamwari pamusangano wechiKristu yakumbira kuona amai vake vakwegura. “Amai vakangoratidzika sevasingaoni uye havana kupindura,” anoyeuka kudaro Gillian nokusuruvara. “Kwainyadzisa zvikuru uye kwakandichemedza.”

“Ndechimwe chezvinhu zvakaoma zvikurusa kugonana nazvo,” anodaro Joan, uyo ane murume ane pfungwa dzisisashandi zvakanaka. “Kunomuita asingadavidzi zvishoma kutsika dzakanaka,” anotsanangura kudaro. “Apo tinenge tichidyira kuresitorendi nevamwe, “pane dzimwe nguva anoenda kune dzimwe tafura muimba yokudyira, anoravidza jamu, uye anodzosera chipunu chashandiswa mundiro yejamu. Apo tinoshanyira vavakidzani, angasvipira pakanzira kemugadheni. Kwakaoma zvikuru kuzvibvisira ndimene mufungo uyo vamwe sezvinobvira vari kutaura pamusoro peidzi tsika uye zvimwe kumurangarira seasina tsika zvikuru. Ndinoshaya pokupinda.”

“Ndaitya Kuti Kana Tikasangwarira . . . ”

Kutarisira mudikani ari kurwara zvakakomba kunogona kuva chiitiko chinotyisa zvikuru. Mutarisiri wacho angava anotya nezvezvichaitika sezvo kurwara kwacho kunopfuurira—zvimwe kunyange kutya rufu rwomudikani wake. Angatyawo kuti haasati achizova nesimba kana kuti mano okusvitsa zvinodikanwa zvomurwere.

Elsa anorondedzera chikonzero chokutya kwake neiyi nzira: “Ndaitya kuti ndaizokuvadza Betty mumuviri, nenzira iyoyo ndichiwedzera kutambura kwake, kana kuti ndaizoita chimwe chinhu chaizopfupikisa upenyu hwake.”

Pane dzimwe nguva kutya kwomurwere kunova kutya kwomutarisiri. “Baba vangu vaitya zvikuru kukatyidzwa uye pane dzimwe nguva vaitya zvikuru,” akataura kudaro Sue. “Ndaitya kuti kana tikasangwarira, vaizokatyidzwa nokudaro ndokuva nokutya kwavo kukurusa.”

“Ungatambudzika Nemhaka Yezvavaichimbova”

“Kutambudzika chiitiko chenguva dzose nokuda kwevanhu vari kubata nemudikani uyo ane chirwere chenguva refu,” inodaro Caring for the Person With Dementia. “Sezvo kurwara kwomurwere wacho kunopfuurira, ungarasikirwa neshamwari uye ukama uhwo hwakanga huchikosha kwauri. Ungatambura nemhaka yezvavaichimbova.”

Jennifer anorondedzera nzira iyo mhuri yake yakatapurwa nayo noutano hwaamai vake hwairamba huchishata achiti: “Takanzwa takuvadzwa. Takarasikirwa nokukurukura kwavo kwakachangamuka. Takasuruvariswa zvikuru.” Gillian anotsanangura kuti: “Ndakanga ndisingadi kuti amai vangu vafe, uye ndakanga ndisingadi kuti vatambure. Ndakachema ndachemazve.”

“Ndakanzwa Ndarambwa, Ndashatirwa”

Mutarisiri angashamisika kuti: ‘Neiko izvozvi zvaifanira kuitika kwandiri? Neiko vamwe vasingagoni kubetsera? Havagoni kuona kuti handisi kugonana nazvo zvakanaka here? Murwere wacho haagoni kuva anobatira pamwe zvikuru here?’ Padzimwe nguva, mutarisiri wacho anganzwa ashatirwa zvikuru pamusoro pokunoratidzika kuva kurayira kunowedzera nokusina kururama kunoitwa paari nomurwere uye nemimwe mitezo yemhuri. Rose, adudzwa musumo, anoti: “Ndinowanzova akazvishatirirwa zvikuru—nechomukati. Asi Amai vanoti zvinooneka pachiso changu.”

Ari kugovera tarisiro angatakura mutoro wokukangaidzwa kwomurwere amene uye hasha. Mubhuku rinonzi Living With Cancer, Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum anotsanangura kuti vamwe varwere “padzimwe nguva vangava nehasha nokuodzwa mwoyo izvo zvichatsvaka sanyajambwa wazvo munhu ari pedyosa aripo . . . Idzi hasha dzinowanzoratidzirwa sokushatirwa muzvinhu zvenhando izvo munguva dzenguva dzose zvaisazotongonetsa murwere wacho.” Nenzira inonzwisisika, ikoku kunogona kuisa dzvinyiriro yakawedzerwa patsinga dzakashatiriswa dzavadikani avo vari kuita unani hwavo kutarisira murwere wacho.

Maria, somuenzaniso, akaita basa rinorumbidzwa achitarisira shamwari yake yakanga ichifa. Panhambo nenhambo, zvisinei, shamwari yake yakaratidzika kuva inotapurika zvakanyanyisa ndokumhanyira kumhedziso dzisina kururama. “Aitaura zvinorwadza zvikuru uye asina tsika, achinyadzisa vadikani,” anotsanangura kudaro Maria. Ikoku kwakatapura sei Maria? “Panguva yacho, munhu anoratidzika kuva ‘anonzwisisa’ murwere wacho. Asi pakufunga nezvako gare gare, ndakanzwa ndarambwa, ndashatirwa, ndisina chokwadi—uye ndisingadi kuratidza rudo rwaidikanwa.”

Fundo yakabudiswa muThe Journals of Gerontology yakagumisa kuti: “Hasha dzinokwanisa kuwedzera zvikuru mumamiriro ezvinhu okutarisira [uye] pane dzimwe nguva dzinoguma nemasimba masimba chaiwoiwo kana kuti anorangarirwa.” Vanzveri vacho vakawana kuti anenge 1 kubva mu5 vari vose wevatarisiri aitya kuti aigona kuva ane masimba masimba. Uye anopfuura 1 kubva mu20 akava ane masimba masimba chaizvoizvo nomurwere wake.

“Ndinonzwa Ndine Mhaka”

Vatarisiri vazhinji vanotambudzwa nemirangariro yokuva nemhaka. Pane dzimwe nguva kuva nemhaka kwacho kunotevera hasha—ndiko kuti, vanonzwa vaine mhaka nemhaka yokuti vanonzwa vakashatirwa padzimwe nguva. Mirangariro yakadaro ingavanetesa kusvika kupfundo rokuti vanonzwa kuti havagoni kupfuurira.

Mune zvimwe zviitiko, hapana chinotsiva kunze kwokuita kuti murwere wacho atarisirwe munzvimbo inotarisirwa varwere kana kuti chipatara. Ichochi chinogona kuva chisarudzo chinokuvadza icho chinogona kudzongonyedza zvikuru mirangariro yomutarisiri. “Apo pakupedzisira ndakamanikidzirwa kuendesa Amai kumusha unotarisirwa varwere, ndakarangarira kuti ndakanga ndichivasiya, ndichivarasa,” anodaro Jeanne.

Murwere wacho angave anoiswa muchipatara kana kuti kwete, vadikani vake vanganzwa vaine mhaka yokuti havasi kumuitira zvakakwana. Elsa akati: “Ndaisawanzonzwa zvakanaka kuti nguva yangu yakanga yakaganhurirwa zvikuru. Pane dzimwe nguva shamwari yangu yaisazotongondibvumira kuenda.” Pangavawo neitiro hanya pamusoro pokuregeredzwa kwemamwe mabasa emhuri, zvikurukuru kana mutarisiri wacho achipedza nguva yakawanda pachipatara kana kuti achifanira kushanda nguva refu kuti abetsere kuripira mabhiri anowedzera. “Ndinofanira kushanda kuti ndibetsere kuripira ndyiko,” akachema kudaro mumwe mai, “bva ndinonzwa ndine mhaka nokuti handigoni kuva pamusha kuti nditarisire vana vangu.”

Sezvinooneka, vatarisiri vane kudikanwa kukuru kwetsigiro, zvikurukuru pashure porufu rwomunhu aitarisirwa. “Basa rangu rakakomba zvikurusa [pashure porufu rwomurwere] . . . kubvisa mirangariro yokuva nemhaka mumutarisiri, iyo isingawanzotaurwi,” anodaro Dr. Fredrick Sherman, wokuHuntington, New York.

Kana iyi mirangariro ikaramba isingataurwi, inogona kuva inokuvadza kuvose vari vaviri mutarisiri nomurwere. Chii, ipapoka, icho vari kugovera tarisiro vanogona kuita kuti vagonane neiyi mirangariro? Uye vamwe—mitezo yemhuri neshamwari—vanogona kuitei kuti vavabetsere?

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Bhokisi riri papeji 5]

Musavarerutsa!

“TINOZIVA kuti 80% yokutarisira vakwegura uko kunoitirwa mumusha kunoitwa navakadzi,” anodaro Myrna I. Lewis, purofesa anobetsera mudhipatimendi remishonga yenzanga paMount Sinai Medical School, New York.

Imwe fundo yavakadzi vanotarisira, yakabudiswa muThe Journals of Gerontology,b yakaratidza kuti 61 muzana yavakadzi vacho vakashuma kuti vakanga vasingagamuchiri betsero kubva kumhuri kana kuti shamwari. Uye vanopfuura hafu (57,6 muzana) vakataura kuti havana kugamuchira kurudziro yakakwana kubva kuvarume vavo. MuChildren With Cancer, Jeanne Munn Bracken anoonesa kuti nepo amai vangave vachitakura mutoro mukuru wokutarisira, “baba vacho vangave vachizviparadzanisira mubasa ravo.”

Zvisinei, pane rutivi rwunokosha rwokutarisira rwunoitwa navarume, anodaro Dr. Lewis. Somuenzaniso, varume vane vadzimai vane hosha yeAlzheimer’s iboka guru zvikuru. Uye zvirokwazvo havasi vasingatapurwi nedzvinyiriro dzokutarisira mudikani anorwara. “Ava varume ndivo zvimwe vasina dziviriro zvikurusa vavose,” anopfuurira kudaro Lewis, “nemhaka yokuti vanowanzova vakuru kupfuura vadzimai vavo uye vangava vasina utano hwakanaka ivo pachavo. . . . Vazhinjisa vavo havana kurovedzwa mumativi anoshanda okutarisira.”

Mhuri dzinofanira kungwarira muitiro wokuremedza mutezo mumwe uyo unoratidzika kuva unotarisira denho yacho zvakanaka. “Kazhinji kazhinji mutezo wemhuri wakati ndiwo unova mutarisiri, pane dzimwe nguva kanotevedzana,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi Care for the Carer. “Chikamu chikuru chaivava vakadzi avo vari kutochemberawo vamene. . . . Vakadzi vanogaroonekwawo sevatarisiri ‘vomuzvarirwo’ . . . , asi mhuri neshamwari havatongofaniri kurerutsa ikoku.”

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 6]

Vatarisiri vanoda tsigiro mukugonana nemirangariro yokuva nemhaka uye hasha