4 Nushinge uturimbi dutomoye
“Kwirerana abana si icoroshe, na canecane igihe baba bageze mu buyabaga, bakagomba kwigana abandi bana mu kugarariza abavyeyi babo.”—DULCE WO MURI AFRIKA Y’EPFO.
Ingorane. Bibiliya yari yaravuze yuko mu “misi ya nyuma” abana muri rusangi bobaye “abagambararira abavyeyi.”—2 Timoteyo 3:1, 2.
Inama ugiriwe. Nutahure yuko “abana bakeneye kumenya amategeko abavyeyi babo bipfuza ko bisunga be n’ivyo babitezeko kugira ngo bibagendere neza.” (Vyavuzwe n’igitabu The Single Parent Resource canditswe na Brook Noel) Uwitwa Barry G. Ginsberg, akaba ari umuhinga mu bijanye n’inyifato y’abana be n’imiryango, avuga ati: “Igihe uturimbi tuba twaratomowe neza biratuma abo mu rugo barushiriza kugiranira ubucuti bwiza, n’ivyotuma imitsi iranda bikagabanuka.” Yongeyeko ati: “Uko uturimbi dushinga turushiriza gutomorwa neza, tukarushiriza no kwerekanwa neza, ni ko n’imigenderanire irushiriza kuba myiza mu bagize umuryango.” Ni gute none woshinga uturimbi dutomoye?
Ntubarekerane. Icigwa cagizwe muri Ostraliya cerekanye yuko igihe abavyeyi batankira abana gukora ivyo bipfuza kandi bakama babarekerana, akenshi bituma nya bana bigenza nabi. Nk’uko Bibiliya ibivuga, “umwana arekeranwa azomaramaza nyina.”—Imigani 29:15.
Ntureke ngo ukwiyagiriza guturutse ku kuba wireranye abana gutume uba umuvyeyi arekerana ibintu. Yasmin, umwe twavuga, agira ati: “Rimwe na rimwe nca mbanza kwumvira akagongwe uduhungu twanje tubiri kubera ko turiko dukurira mu muryango ufise umuvyeyi umwe.” Ariko nk’uko tuza kubibona, ntiyaretse izo nyiyumvo zitari mbi ngo zitume atabona ibintu mu buryo bwiza.
Ntube mahindagu; niwame ushitsa ivyo wavuze. (Matayo 5:37) Ikinyamakuru kimwe kivuga ivy’amagara n’inyifato vy’abakiri bato (American Journal of Orthopsychiatry) kigira giti: “Igihe abana bazi ko bigenjeje nabi batazobura gutozwa indero kandi igihe cose bigenjeje nabi umuvyeyi akayibatoza ntahindure, birashobora kugira ico bifashije mu kubarinda ingorane bogira mu bijanye n’ukuntu bigenza no mu bijanye n’ukuntu biyumva.” Yasmin avuga ati: “Naricaranye n’abahungu banje, turavugana ibijanye n’ukubatoza indero. Iyo bakoze amakosa, ndagerageza kubatoza indero simbe mahindagu. Naho ari ukwo, narize kubanza kubumviriza hanyuma ngaca ndabasigurira nturuye ukuntu ivyo bakoze vyagize ingaruka ku muryango wose. Ivyo biheze nca rero ndabatoza indero tuba twaravuganye.”
Nukore ibitegereka; ntubatoze indero ushavuye. Naho ukwiye kuguma wumiye ku bigororotse, urakwiye kandi kuba umuntu yorosha igihe bikenewe. Muri Yakobo 3:17 havuga yuko “ubukerebutsi buva hejuru,” ni ukuvuga ku Mana, “bugira ibitegereka.” Abantu bakora ibitegereka ntibihutagiza mu gukora ibintu canke ngo babikore bashavuye. Eka mbere ntibatanga igihano ku kantu kose. Ahubwo, babanza kwiyumvira, kumbure bagasenga ku vyerekeye ico kintu, hanyuma bagashobora gukora baturuye kandi bagakora ibibereye.
Kutaba mahindagu, kutarekerana ibintu no gukora ibitegereka, ushizeko n’akarorero keza utanga, bizogufasha gushinga uturimbi tuzotuma i muhira iwawe haba ahantu h’ubuhungiro koko ku bana bawe.
[Ifoto ku rup. 8]
Ntubarekerane, kandi ivyo uvuze wame ubishitsa