Kurera abana kuva bakiri batoyi gushika babaye imiyabaga

“Kuva abana bawe bakivuka gushika bashikanye imyaka itanu, baba bari mu muryango batekaniwe kandi birarushiriza kworoha kubinjizamwo kamere nziza. Mugabo bamaze gutangura ishure, usanga bari kumwe n’abantu bafise inyifato n’imvugo bitandukanye n’ivyabo.”​—⁠Valter wo mu Butaliyano.

UKO abana bakura, bararondera kumenya isi barimwo igenda iraguka. Baramara umwanya bari kumwe n’abantu benshi kuruta, ni ukuvuga abo bakina, abo bigana be n’izindi ncuti. Nk’uko Valter abivuga aho haruguru, si wewe wenyene uba ukigira akosho mu buzima bw’umwana wawe nk’uko vyari biri igihe yari akiri umwana mutoyi. Ni co gituma bihambaye ko ukoresha imyaka yo mu bwana kugira wigishe umwana wawe akamaro ko kugamburuka hamwe n’imico myiza. Birahambaye kandi ko umuronsa ubuyobozi bujanye n’ikibereye be n’ikitabereye.

Ivyo bintu bihejeje kuvugwa ntibipfa kwizana. Birashoboka ko uzokenera ‘kumukangira, kumukankamira, kumuhimiriza, mu kwiyumanganya kwose n’ubuhanga bwo kwigisha.’ (2 Timoteyo 4:2) Abavyeyi b’Abisirayeli bari bategetswe ku bijanye n’amategeko y’Imana ngo: “Uze uyashimangire mu mwana wawe wongere uyage ivyayo igihe wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’igihe ugenda ku nzira, n’igihe uryamye, n’igihe uvyutse.” (Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:​6, 7) Nk’uko ico canditswe kivyerekana, birahambaye ko ubandanya kwigisha umwana wawe.

Ibanga ryo kurera abana ririmwo ingorane zitari nke. Nimuze twihweze nkeyi gusa muri zo.

Igihe co kwumviriza

Kubera ko Bibiliya ivuga yuko hariho “igihe co kuvuga,” hariho rero n’igihe co kwumviriza. (Umusiguzi 3:7) Ushobora gute none kwigisha umwana wawe gutega yompi igihe abandi bariko baravuga, na wewe urimwo? Uburyo bumwe ni ukumuha akarorero. Woba utega yompi abandi, harimwo n’abana bawe?

Abana barashobora gusamara bitagoranye, kandi nta gukeka ko ukwihangana kwawe kuzogeragezwa igihe uzoba uriko urarondera kuyaga na bo. Kubera ko usanga abana batandukanye, nube umuntu azi kwihweza maze umenye uburyo bwo kuyaga wokoresha ku mwana wawe bikagenda neza. Nk’akarorero, uwitwa David, akaba ari sebibondo wo mu Bwongereza, avuga ati: “Ndasaba umukobwa wacu ngo ambarire mu majambo yiwe ivyo mba mpejeje kuvuga. Ivyo bituma arushiriza kwumviriza uko agenda arakura.”

Igihe Yezu yariko arigisha abigishwa biwe, yababwiye ati: “Mwitwararike ukuntu mwumviriza.” (Luka 8:​18) Nimba abantu bakuze bakeneye kugira ico kintu, hari akantu abana!

“Kubabarirana ata gahigihigi”

Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Mubandanye kwihanganirana no kubabarirana ata gahigihigi iyo hari uwufise ico yidogera uwundi.” (Abakolosayi 3:​13) Abana barashobora kwigishwa gutsimbataza ubushobozi bwabo bwo kubabarira abandi. Uti gute?

Nk’uko duhejeje kubibona ku bijanye no kwumviriza, urakeneye gutanga akarorero. Nureke abana bawe babone ko uri umuntu ababarira abandi mu vyo ugiranira na bo. Uwitwa Marina, akaba ari inabibondo wo mu Burusiya, arihatira kubigira. Avuga ati: “Turagerageza guha abana bacu akarorero keza mu kubabarira abandi, mu kwemera kugira ivyo duhevye no mu kutababara.” Yongerako ati: “Igihe mba ndi mw’ikosa, ndasaba imbabazi abana banje. Nipfuza ko biga kubigenza gutyo nyene mu migenderanire bafitaniye n’abandi.”

Ubushobozi bwo gutorera umuti ukutumvikana no kubabarira abandi buzogirira akamaro abana bawe nibakura. Nubigishe kuba abantu bitwararika abandi no kwemera gushikirwa n’ingaruka z’amakosa yabo bwite. Ubigenjeje gutyo, uzoba uriko urabaha ingabirano y’agaciro izobafasha cane uko bazogenda barakura.

“Mwerekane ko mushima”

Muri ibi “bihe bitoroshe kandi bigoye kwihanganira,” abantu benshi ni “abikunda.” (2 Timoteyo 3:​1, 2) Ubu abana bawe bakiri bato, ni co gihe co kubinjizamwo agatima ko gukenguruka. Intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Mwerekane ko mushima.”​—⁠Abakolosayi 3:⁠15.

N’igihe nyene abana baba bakiri bato, barashobora kwiga kugaragaza imico myiza no kuba abantu biyumvira abandi. Uti gute? Dogoteri Kyle Pruett avuga mu kinyamakuru kimwe (Parents) ati: “Ikintu ciza kuruta ibindi wokora kugira utume abana bawe bagira agatima ko gushima, ni ukwama ubigira i muhira.” Yongerako ati: “Ivyo bisobanura ko wama uvuga ukuntu ukenguruka ivyo abandi bagufashije canke ibindi bintu bagukoreye biranga ko bakwiyumvira . . . Ivyo bisaba ko ubigira kenshi.”

Uwitwa Richard, akaba ari sebibondo wo mu Bwongereza, arihatira kubigenza gutyo. Avuga ati: “Twe n’umukenyezi wanje turerekana ukuntu twoshimira abantu batugaragarije umutima mwiza, nk’abigisha b’abana bacu canke ba sekuru na ba inakuru. Igihe cose tugiye kuramutsa umuryango munaka kugira dusangire akajumbu, mu nyuma turandika agakarata ko kubakengurukira, maze abana bose bakagashirako umukono canke bakagacapako ikintu kinaka.” Umwana wawe niyaba umuntu w’umutima mwiza kandi ashima bizomufasha kugiranira n’abandi ubucuti buramba kandi bukomeye amaze gukura.

“Ntiwime indero umwana”

Uko abana bawe bakura, birahambaye ko bamenya yuko ivyo bakora bifise ingaruka. N’igihe abana baba bakiri bato, baragira ico babazwa n’ababafiseko ubukuru, atari i muhira gusa mugabo no kw’ishure be no mu kibano. Urashobora gufasha abana bawe gutahura ya ngingo ngenderwako ivuga yuko ico umuntu abiba ari co yimbura. (Abagalatiya 6:7) Wobigira gute?

Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Ntiwime indero umwana.” (Imigani 23:​13) Nimba waramusiguriye neza yuko niyakora ikintu kibi uzomuhana, ntutinye kubigira. Uwitwa Norma, akaba ari inabibondo wo muri Arijantine, avuga ati: “Kutaba mahindagu birahambaye cane. Kuba mahindagu bituma umwana yikika mu kiza agakora ivyo yishakiye.”

Abavyeyi barashobora kugerageza kwirinda impari zidahera zivyuka abana bamaze kugambarara, mu kwiyemeza neza ko abo bana batahura imbere y’igihe ingaruka z’ukugambarara. Abana barashobora kutanana cane igihe bazi amategeko bashingiwe hamwe n’ibizobashikira baramutse bayarenze be n’igihe bazi igituma bemera yuko izo ngaruka ari ntabanduka.

Ariko ntiwumve, kugira ngo indero utanga igire ico ivuyemwo, ntukwiye kuyitanga ushavuye. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umururazi ubabaza wose, n’ishavu, n’uburake, n’ugukankama, n’ugutukana, bikurwe muri mwebwe.” (Abanyefeso 4:​31) Ntukwiye kwigera utoza indero umwana mu kumuhana bimwe bikaze, eka kandi ntukwiye kwigera umugirira nabi ku mubiri canke ngo umurandure umutima.

Vyoba bishoboka none ko wigumya igihe umwana wawe yakoze ikintu ubona ko utoshobora kwihanganira? Uwitwa Peter, akaba ari sebibondo wo muri Nouvelle Zélande, yiyemerera ati: “Ntivyama vyoroshe, mugabo abana barakeneye kumenya ko ugutozwa indero ari ingaruka y’ikintu baba bakoze, ko idatangwa kubera ko abavyeyi babuze ukwigumya.”

Peter n’umukenyezi wiwe baragerageza gufasha abana babo kubona ivyiza biramba biva ku gukosorwa. Avuga ati: “N’igihe nyene abana baba bakoze ikintu c’agahomerabunwa, turayaga na bo ku bijanye n’ukuntu bakwiye kumera aho gushimika ku kibi baba bakoze.”

“Ukugira ibitegereka kwanyu kumenyekane”

Ku bijanye n’ukuntu Imana yokosoye abasavyi bayo, yavuze iti: “Nzoguhana . . . ku rugero rubereye.” (Yeremiya 46:​28) Bizorushiriza kuvamwo ivyiza niwaha umwana wawe igihano gikwiranye n’ikosa yakoze. Paulo yandikiye abakirisu ati: “Ukugira ibitegereka kwanyu kumenyekane.”​—⁠Abafilipi 4:5.

Kugira ibitegereka birimwo gukosora abana bawe mu buryo butuma bagumana icubahiro cabo. Uwitwa Santi, akaba ari sebibondo wo mu Butaliyano, avuga ati: “Sinigera nsuzuguza umuhungu wanje canke umukobwa wanje. Ahubwo, ndagerageza kumenya umuzi w’ingorane maze nkabafasha kuyitorera umuti. Ndakora uko nshoboye kwose kugira ngo simpanire umwana wanje imbere y’abandi bantu, eka mbere n’imbere y’uwo bavukana. Vyongeye, sinjajura mu kuvuga utunenge twiwe mu bandi bantu canke turi twenyene.”

Richard, umwe twavuga mu ntango, na we nyene arabona ko kugira ibitegereka ari ikintu kiranga ubukerebutsi. Avuga ati: “Umuvyeyi ntakwiye kuza arongereza igihano igihe cose umwana asubiye gukora ikosa. Igihe uba umaze guhana umwana, birahambaye ko wirinda kuguma uvuga ibijanye n’ico kintu no kuza uramwibutsa amakosa yakoze.”

Kurera abana ni igikorwa kitoroshe gisaba kwitanga mugabo kivamwo ivyiza vyinshi. Ivyo ni vyo inabibondo yitwa Yelena wo mu Burusiya yiboneye. Avuga ati: “Nahisemwo akazi k’amasaha makeyi ku ndwi kugira ngo nshobore kumara umwanya wiyongereye ndi kumwe n’umuhungu wanje. Bisaba ko ngira akigoro kandi biratuma ntaronka amahera nk’ayo nategerezwa kuronka, mugabo ukwo kwemera kugira ivyo mpevye si ukw’impfagusa ndavye ukuntu ivyo bituma umuhungu wanje agira umunezero mwinshi be n’ukuntu bituma turushiriza gufatana mu nda.”

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Abana barashobora kwiga kuba abantu biyumvira abandi

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Nukosore abana mu buryo butuma bagumana icubahiro cabo