Okwetantara “Okugaitururwa kwa Bukuru”

Aha gati ya 1990 na 2015, okugaitururwa kw’ab’emyaka 50 n’okukiraho kukabazamu kabiri omuri United States, kandi okw’abarengize emyaka 65 kukabazamu kashatu. Abacondooza bakajumbura ebigambo “okugaitururwa kwa bukuru” ahabw’okweyongyera kw’okugaitururwa omu bantu b’emyaka ya bukuru. Niki ekirikureetaho “okugaitururwa kwa bukuru”? Noobaasa kukwetantara ota omu bushwere bwawe?

Omu kicweka eki

• Niki ekirikureetaho okugaitururwa kwa bukuru?

• Eki orikubaasa kukora

• Obuhabuzi bw’okugaaniira hamwe

Niki ekirikureetaho okugaitururwa kwa bukuru?

• Obwire obwingi, abashweraine abarikugaitururwa, omukago gwabo niguba gutwire nigufa mporampora. Haahinguraho obwire, abamwe nibatandika kukunda ebitarikushushana, empereruka beeshanga bataine na kimwe ekirikubagaita. Nari abaana baabo baaheza kuruga omuka, nibabaasa kutandika kwetegyereza ngu batwire nibazaana omwanya gwa taata na maama, n’ahabw’ekyo hati buri omwe ayebirwe obujunaanizibwa bwe omu bushwere.

• Omu myaka egi, abarikweyeta abahangu omu by’obushwere, nibagambira abashweraine buri omwe kwebembeza ebi arikukunda. Nibahiga ori omu bushwere kwebuuza ati: ‘Obushwere bwangye nibundeetera okushemererwa?’ ‘Nibundeetera kuba omuntu murungi?’ ‘Omukundwa wangye naandeetera kwehurira gye?’ Eky’okugarukamu ky’ebibuuzo ebi kyaba kiri ngu ngaaha, nibahiga omuntu kukora eki arikukunda, ngu agaitururwe reero atandikye eshuura nsya.

• Hati abantu tibarikureeba okugaitururwa nk’ekintu kibi. Omucondooza aha ntuura y’abantu Eric Klinenberg akahandiika ati: “Enyimaho, omuntu owaabaire aba atamazirwe n’omukundwa we kandi arikwenda kugaitururwa nawe, akaba aba aine kushoboorora ahabw’enki naayenda kucwamu atyo. Kwonka hati, tikwo kiri: Waaba otamazirwe n’obushwere bwawe, nibwo orikuba oine kushoboorora ahabw’enki oine kubugumamu. Kandi eki kiri kiti ahabw’okugira ngu abantu baingi nibateekateeka ngu oine kukora ekirikukushemeza iwe nk’omuntu.”a

Amazima gari ngu, okugaitururwa nikwihaho oburemeezi obumwe, kwonka nikureeta obundi. Nk’eky’okureeberaho, okucondooza kumwe kukooreka ngu “okugaitururwa kwa bukuru nikukira kureetaho oburemeezi omu by’entaatsya na munonga aha bakazi.”

Hariho ekindi eky’okuteekateekaho. “Noobaasa kuteeraho kutandika eshuura nsya, kwonka nabwo nooba okiri omuntu niwe omwe okuzire,” ekitabo Don’t Divorce nikwo kirikugira. “Okozire ki kuhindura omuringo ogu orikugaaniiramu ogwakuremeise omukundwa waawe ow’okubanza? Okozire ki kuhindura oku orikutwaza haabaho obutaikirizana?”b

Eki orikubaasa kukora

• Ikiriza empinduka. Tihariho mukago gutarikuhinduka. Omukago gwawe n’omukundwa waawe nigubaasa kuba guhindukire ahabw’okugira ngu abaana baanyu bakaruga omuka nari ahabw’okugira ngu imwe mwembi mutandikire kukunda ebitarikushushana. Omu mwanya gw’okuguma mutaire omutima aha ku ebintu byabaire biri enyima, muteekateekye oku murikubaasa kuboneza omu ku biri hati.

  

  Omusingye gwa Baibuli: “Otagira oti: Ahabw’enki ebiro bya ira nibihita ebya hati? Ahabw’okuba obwengye tibwo burikukureetera kubuuza otyo.”—Omubuurizi 7:10.

• Yongyera kunywana omukundwa waawe. Noobaasa kukunda eki omukundwa waawe arikukunda, nari noobaasa kumureetera kukunda eki iwe orikukunda? Nimubaasa kwega kwejumba omu kintu kisya eki murikukunda mwembi? Ekigyendererwa kyanyu, kishemereire kuba okumara obwire hamwe, kugira ngu omukundwa waawe ayereebe nk’oshwairwe beitu mutari nk’abarikutuura hamwe kyonka.

  

  Omusingye gwa Baibuli: “Omuntu weena arekye kwesherurira ebye ahabwe, kureka asherure eby’okuhwera mutaahi we.”—1 Abakorinso 10:24.

• Guma oine emicwe mirungi. Otaikiriza okuhinguraho kw’obwire kukuremesa kutwaza gye. Gamba n’omukundwa waawe omu muringo gw’ekitiinisa, kandi teeraho kworeka emicwe mirungi ei waabaire nooyoreka obu mwabaire nimweriima. Guma nookoresa ebigambo nka “nyabura ’we” na “yebare.” Butoosha guma nooyoreka omukundwa waawe ebikorwa bya rukundo, kandi musiime ahabw’ebi arikukukorera.

  

  Omusingye gwa Baibuli: “Mukorerane gye, mugirirane embabazi.”—Abaefeso 4:32.

• Ijuka obu mwabaire muri gye. Mureebe hamwe ebishushani byanyu by’okugaitwa, nari ebindi ebi mwateerize hamwe muri aha mikoro endiijo. Okukora eki nikibaasa kubahwera kuguma nimukundana kandi nimuhaana ekitiinisa omu bushwere bwanyu, nari kutereeza ekyashobire.

  

  Omusingye gwa Baibuli: ‘Omuntu weena omuriimwe akunde omukazi we, nk’oku arikwekunda, n’omukazi nawe ashemereire [kuha iba ekitiinisa].’—Abaefeso 5:33.