Yini Okufanele Ngiyazi Ngokuhlukunyezwa Ngokobulili?​—Ingxenye 2: Ukululama

Ukubhekana nomuzwa wecala

Izisulu eziningi zokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili zizizwa zinamahloni kakhulu ngokwenzekile. Zingase zicabange ngisho nokuthi zibe nesandla kulokho okwenzekile. Cabanga ngoKaren, manje oseneminyaka engu-19, owahlukunyezwa ngokobulili phakathi nesikhathi lapho ayeneminyaka eyisithupha nengu-13. Uthi, “Into embi kakhulu engibhekana nayo, umuzwa wecala. Ngiye ngicabange, ‘Ngakuvumela kanjani ukuhlukunyezwa isikhathi eside kangaka?’”

Uma nawe uzizwa ngendlela efanayo ngesimo okuso cabanga ngalokhu:

• Izingane azikulungele kokubili, ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo ukuhlanganyela ubulili. Azazi ukuthi ukuthi lokhu kuhilelani, ngakho azinakukwazi ukukuvumela ngenhloso. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwengane kusuke kungelona icala layo.

• Izingane zivame ukubethemba abantu abadala nokungawazi amasu asetshenziswa abantu abonakele, okwenza ingane ibe isisulu kalula. Incwadi ethi-The Right to Innocence ithi, “Abanukubezi ‘bangamaqili’ anekhono, futhi ingane ayikwazi ukubona ukukhohlisa kwabo.”

• Ingane ingase ivukelwe lapho ihlukunyezwa ngokobulili. Uma lokhu kwenzeka kuwe, qiniseka ngokuthi kuyindlela umzimba osabela ngayo ngokuzenzakalelayo uma uthintwa ngendlela ethile. Akusho ukuthi wena wawukuvumela ukuhlukunyezwa noma ukuthi kumelwe ubekwe icala ngako.

Ongakwenza: Cabanga ngengane oyaziyo eneminyaka owawunayo ngesikhathi uhlukunyezwa. Zibuze, ‘Kungaba okulungile yini ukubeka le ngane icala uma ingahlukunyezwa?’

UKaren wacabanga ngalokho lapho enakekela izingane ezintathu, enye yazo eyayicishe ibe neminyaka eyisithupha​—okuyiminyaka uKaren ayenayo ngesikhathi eqala ukuhlukunyezwa. Uthi, “Ngabona ukuthi ayivikelekile kangakanani ingane yalobo budala—ukuthi mina ngangingavikelekile kangakanani.”

Iqiniso: Owakuhlasela uyena onecala ngokuhlukunyezwa kwakho. IBhayibheli lithi: ‘Ububi bomubi buyoba phezu kwalowo muntu kuphela.’​—Hezekeli 18:20.

Ukubaluleka kokuthululela othile isifuba

Ukuxoxa nomuntu omdala ngokuhlukunyezwa kwakho kungakusiza uthole impumuzo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Umngane weqiniso ubonisa uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi ungumfowabo womuntu ozalelwe isikhathi sosizi.”​—IzAga 17:17.

Kuyaqondakala ukuthi ukungakhulumi ngokwenzeka kungakwenza uzizwe uphephile ngokwezinga elithile. Mhlawumbe ukuzithulela nje sekufana nodonga ozakhele lona ukuze uzivikele ebuhlungwini obengeziwe. Nokho, ake ucabange ngokuthi lolo donga ozakhele lona ukuze uzivikele ebuhlungwini obengeziwe, lungase lukuvimbele nokuba uthole usizo.

Intokazi okuthiwa uJanet, yathola ukuthi ukukhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa kwayo kwayisiza kakhulu. Uthi, “Nganukubezwa ngisemncane kakhulu, nginukubezwa umuntu engangimazi futhi ngimethemba, futhi ngakuvalela ngaphakathi iminyaka eminingi. Kodwa lapho sengikwazile ukuxoxa nomama ngakho, kwaba sengathi kwethulwe umthwalo osindayo emahlombe ami.”

Uma ecabanga ngokwenzeka, uJanet uyaqonda ukuthi kungani abanye bengase banqikaze ukuxoxa ngokubavelele. Uthi, “Ukuhlukunyezwa kuyinto okungemnandi ukukhuluma ngayo. Kodwa kimi, ubuhlungu engangibuzwa ngokukuvalela ngaphakathi babubukhulu. Kwakungcono ukuba ngisheshe ngikhulume ngako kunokuba ngikuhlehlise.”

‘Isikhathi sokululama’

Kungenzeka ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwakushiya unemibono esontekile nelimazayo ngawe siqu—ngokwesibonelo, ukuthi ulimele unomphela futhi awuyinto yalutho, noma ukuthi uphilela ukwanelisa abanye ngokobulili nje kuphela. Manje usunethuba lokushiya leyo mibono engelona iqiniso, futhi uzuze ngokuthola ‘isikhathi sokululama.’ (UmShumayeli 3:3) Yini engakusiza kulowo mzamo?

Ukutadisha iBhayibheli. IBhayibheli liqukethe imicabango kaNkulunkulu, ‘enamandla okugumbuqela izinto ezimbelwe ngokuqinile’​—okuhlanganisa nemibono eyiphutha ngokubaluleka kwakho. (2 Korinte 10:4, 5) Ngokwesibonelo, funda imiBhalo elandelayo bese ucabanga ngayo: Isaya 41:10; Jeremiya 31:3; Malaki 3:​16, 17; Luka 12:​6, 7; 1 Johane 3:​19, 20.

Umthandazo. Lapho ufikelwa umuzwa wecala noma wokuthi awuyinto yalutho, “phonsa umthwalo wakho phezu kukaJehova” ngomthandazo. (IHubo 55:22) Awuwedwa!

Abadala bebandla. La madoda angamaKristu aqeqeshelwe ukuba “abe njengendawo yokucashela umoya nendawo yokucashela isiphepho esinemvula.” (Isaya 32:2) Bangakusiza ukuba ukwazi ukuphinde ube nombono ofanela ngawe siqu futhi uqhubeke nokuphila.

Ukuzihlanganisa nabantu abahle. Bheka amadoda nabesifazane abayizibonelo, abaphila ngendlela yobuKristu. Phawula indlela abaphathana ngayo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzobona ukuthi akubona bonke abantu abasebenzisa ithonya labo ukuze bahlukumeze labo abathi bayabathanda.

Owesifazane osemusha okuthiwa uTanya ufunda leso sifundo esibalulekile. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, abantu besilisa abaningi babemphatha njengento yokuzanelisa ngokobulili. Uthi: “Ngalinyazwa okuwukuphela kwabantu besilisa engangisondelene nabo.” Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uTanya wabona ukuthi bakhona abantu besilisa abalubonisayo uthando lweqiniso. Ukubone kanjani lokhu?

Njengoba ayechitha isikhathi nendoda nomkayo ababeyizibonelo, bephila ngendlela yobuKristu, umbono kaTanya washintsha. Uthi, “Izenzo zomyeni zangibonisa ukuthi akuwona wonke amadoda ahlukumezayo. Wayemvikela umkakhe, futhi uNkulunkulu wayehlose ukuba kube njalo kwasekuqaleni.”a​—Efesu 5:28, 29.