Saphendukela Emthonjeni Wokulunga Kweqiniso

Njengoba ilandiswa nguErwin Grosse

EMINYAKENI embalwa edlule, kwakungathi kusa ngibe ngisakaza amapheshana, futhi ngidayisa iRote Fahne, umagazini weKPD/MLa emasangweni endawo enkulu yokulungisela imikhumbi eKiel, eJalimane. Ngesikhathi esifanayo ngangiyobe ngizama ukudonsela izisebenzi nabafundi ezimpikiswaneni. Kwakuwumsebenzi ongenambuyiselo ukuzama ukubaqinisekisa ngemibono yami yobukhomanisi.

Nokho, angikuvumelanga lokhu ukuba kungidumaze. Ngase ngithole umgomo ekuphileni: ukusiza ekuletheni izimo zokulunga ngenguquko yezwe. Ngafinyelela kanjani kulomqondo? Ingabe umgomo onjalo ekuphileni wawuzokwanelisa ukulangazelela kwami ukulunga?

Ukufuna Ukulunga

Indlela yokuphila yabazali bami yayiwukufuna ukuchuma ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo ngazo zonke izindlela, futhi lokhu akuzange neze kungihlabe umxhwele. Thina-ntsha sasifuna okuthile okungcono. Kwakuzanywa izindlela ezintsha zokuphila futhi kumenyezelwa nezinjongo ezintsha ekuphileni. Ngalesosikhathi, impi yaseVietnam nodlame lwabafundi kwakuyizihloko ezigqamile zamaphephandaba. Kithi kwabonakala sengathi abantu abangenacala babekhokha ngokuphila kwabo ngobuqhwaga bobudlova babezombangazwe nobabahweba ngokukhululekile. Lesisimo sangihlupha engqondweni yami, futhi ngaqala ukuzonda isimiso sombuso wabahweba ngokukhululekile.

Ngayifulathela inkolo yombuso. Okuhlangenwe nakho engaba nakho lapho ngisemabuthweni ahlomile aseNtshonalanga Jalimane, kwangisiza ukuba ngenze lesinqumo. Ukuviva kwamabutho esasikwenza kwaphazanyiswa yinkonzo yasekamu, futhi amasosha ehlukaniswa ngamaqembu amaKatolika nawamaProthestani. Ekuphetheni kwenkonzo, abefundisi bawo womabili amahlelo babusisa ombayimbayi abakhulu! Ngashaqeka. Ingabe lezikhali zazingakhelwanga ukubulala? Futhi lapho ngifundiswa ngenkolo esikoleni, ngangingafundiswanga yini ukuthi: “Ungabulali”?—Eksodusi 20:13.

Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi uKarl Marx wayeqinisile uma ebiza inkolo ngokuthi “Umuthi wokulalisa abantu” ngoba yayenza abantu baphele amandla ngenxa yezithakazelo zombuso wokuhweba ngokukhululekile. Ngakho ngemva kokushiya impi, ngayeka esontweni futhi ngathatha izifundo eziqhubekayo kuyiMarxism-Leninism. Ngafunda futhi nezincwadi zikaMao Tse-tung. Konke lokhu kwaqinisa umbono wami wokuthi inguquko yezwe kuphela engasusa ububi ngokuphelele. Ngacabanga ukuthi kungaleyondlela kuphela umphakathi wesintu omusha ogcwele ukulunga ongavela ngayo.

IKPD/ML yangiqeqeshela ukuzuza izisebenzi ezisekela izimfundiso zikaLenin nokuzinikeza amapheshana neRote Fahne. Ngangithwala namafulege futhi ngishayela nezimoto ezinemibhobho emibukisweni. Nakuba kunjalo, ngangibhekwa nje kuphela njengozwelana neqembu. Ngaphambi kokuba ikomiti ephethe ingamukele njengelungu, kwakumelwe ngizibonakalise ngifanelekile, ngikhonze iqembu isikhathi esithile futhi ngilisekele ngokwezimali.

Ukuhluka Ngezenzo—Ukudumazeka Okubuhlungu!

Ngangiqeqeshwe njengomdwebi wamapulani obunjiniyela, kodwa nganginesithakazelo kakhulu ebucikweni babadwebi besimiso esisebenzela uhulumeni, futhi ngafisa sengathi ngingazigcina ngimatasatasa ngokunenzuzo njengoba babenza. Ngakho-ke, ngenza isicelo sendawo eKholiji Lezokudweba eNtshonalanga Berlin. Ngemukelwa futhi ngaqalisa ukufundela kwami ukudweba ngoFebruary 1972.

Nalapha futhi ngathintana neqembu futhi ngokushesha ngase ngimi phambi kwamasango efemu ngidayisa iRote Fahne. Futhi ngenza amakhadi ezaziso nezithombe ezipendiwe zikaMarx, uEngels, uLenin, nezikaMao Tse-tung emafulegini abomvu.

Ngangizimisele ukuba ngingashadi—okungukuthi, kwaze kwaba yilapho ngihlangana noLinda. Ngathola ukuthi wayenemfanelo engavamile, ukwethembeka, futhi lokhu kwangenza ngashintsha umqondo wami. Ezinyangeni ezinhlanu kamuva sasiyindoda nomfazi, siqalisa lokho okwakuzoba umshado obumbene.

Ngaphambili, ngangiphile neqembu lentsha elalinemibono ehlukahlukene yeqembu eliphikisayo. Sasiba nezingxoxo ezinde, kodwa kwakukhona futhi nokungezwani nobutha. Kwakufana nakwamanye amaqembu obukhomanisi ahlukene. Yilelo nalelo lalinomqondo wokuthi amanye ayengawuqondi umbono wobukhomanisi futhi kumelwe ahlangane neqembu “leqiniso.” Impi yaviva!

Phakathi kweqembu lami, ukulwa phakathi kweqembu eliphikisayo neqembu elisekela uhulumeni kwakuvamile. Amalungu avelele azama ukuketulana. Ngakhathala izimpi nochuku, futhi lokhu kwaholela ekunqamuleni konke ukuhlobana neqembu kancane kancane. Ngakubona kungenangqondo ukuhileleka kokuthile lokho empeleni okwakungeke kululethe ushintsho. Umqondo wobukhomanisi wawuzibonakalise ungenakufinyelelwa ngokoqobo! Kodwa enhliziyweni yami ngangilokhu ngingumMarxist.

ULinda Ungitshela NgoNkulunkulu

Ngobunye ubusuku, lapho sisuka eKiel siya eBerlin ngemoto, uLinda wangishaqisa. Wathi: “Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ukhona uNkulunkulu, futhi phakathi ekujuleni, ngiyakholelwa kuye.” Leyo kwakuyinto yokugcina engangilindele ukuyizwa! ULinda wayeyisekele imibono yami yobuMarxist.

Kwalandela impikiswano evuthayo ngolwazi lokuhlakanipha nobuMarxist. UbuMarxist buveza umqondo wokuthi umuntu uthola konke ukuphila kwakhe okungokomoya, okungokwengqondo, nokokuziphatha esimweni sendawo esimzungezile. Ngokomphumela, umuntu “omusha” uvela ngenxa yemfundo kuyisayensi yemibono yobukhomanisi noshintsho lwangempela esimweni sendawo emzungezile. Nokho, uLinda wayenguchwepheshe wokucwaninga isayensi, futhi wayazi kangcono! Wayengakuqinisekisa ukuthi ukuziphatha komuntu kwakuthonywa futhi ukwakheka komzimba wakhe ngokwezici zofuzo. Sayinqamula ingxoxo ukuze sigweme ingxabano.

Phakathi nohambo olwalandela, uLinda futhi waba nesifiso sokukhuluma nami ngoNkulunkulu. Ngokubona kwami, inkolelo yokuziphendukela kwemvelo yayikufakazela ukuthi yonke into yayiwumphumela wokuzivelela kwezinto ngengozi. ULinda waveza izimiso zesayensi yokushisa kwezinto, umthetho ophathelene nezinto ezimiyo, neminye imithetho yesayensi yezimo zemvelo ukuze aqinisekise ukuthi kumelwe abe khona umqalisi ohlakaniphile wokuphila. Nganamathela emibonweni yami. Nokho, ifilosofi yami yokuphila nemibono yami yayisiyize kakade!

Unyaka wadlula. Ngelinye iSonto ekuseni uLinda ngokushesha wakhipha incwadi ewugqinsi futhi waqala ukungifundela kuyo. Kwakuyindaba yomuntu owagawula umuthi, wasebenzisa ingxenye yawo wenza isithombe esingaphili wayesekhuleka kuso ethi: “Ngophule.” Lencazelo enembile yenkolo yangihlaba umxhwele kakhulu. Cabanga ngokumangala kwami uma ngizwa ukuthi ivela eBhayibhelini.—Isaya 44:14-20.

Ngacela umkami ukuba angitshele okwengeziwe. Wenza kanjalo amahora amahlanu—eqala ngokuwa komuntu e-Edene futhi ephetha ngokubuyiselwa kwePharadesi elichazwe encwadini yesAmbulo. Lokhu kwashiya uLinda ekhathele, kodwa ngezwa sengathi kusuke inkungu emehlweni ami nokuthi ngokokuqala ngqa ngase ngikwazi ukubona kangcono. Ngokusobala, ngafuna ukwazi ukuthi uLinda wayekufundephi konke lokhu.

Wangitshela ukuthi lapho eneminyaka eyi-14 ubudala, wayetadishe iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova eBerlin futhi kamuva waze ngisho wabhapathizwa. Lapho eneminyaka eyi-18, kwadingeka ukuba aye kude kakhulu ngenxa yomsebenzi wakhe, futhi kuyadabukisa ukusho ukuthi wayishiya indlela yeqiniso. Khona-ke lapho esephindela eBerlin, wahileleka kwezombangazwe zeqembu eliphikisayo. Injabulo manje ayeyithola emshadweni wethu yamshukumisela ekubeni afune uNkulunkulu kabusha. Kodwa ingabe wayezomthethelela ngamaphutha akhe? Wayazi ukuthi okuwukuphela kwendlela yokulondoloza ukuphila kwethu nenjabulo yomshado wethu kwakuwukubuyela kuNkulunkulu ngokuphenduka. Nokho, ngangingakafinyeleli kuleloqophelo. Ngangisadinga isikhathi esengeziwe.

Ukuphendukela Ohlangothini Olufanelekile

Ngelinye ihlobo kusihlwa, sabukela ukushona kwelanga okusagolide ngaphesheya kwedolobha. ULinda wathi: “Mhlawumbe singazijabulela izinto ezinjalo okwesikhashana, Erwin. Kodwa ingabe uNkulunkulu uyosilondoloza lapho engenela? Isiphi isizathu esimnikeza sona sokwenza kanjalo?” Lokhu kwangenza ngasanguluka. Ngangifunde okuthile ngoJehova kodwa ngokusobala okunganele. Ngakho nganquma ukuphendukela kuye ngempela.

Ngokushesha ngemva kwalokhu, sasisemakethe lapho sibona owesifazane osekhulile esihlalweni sabakhubazekile ephethe INqabayokulinda. Samcela ukuba asitshele izikhathi zemihlangano eHholo LoMbuso lendawo, futhi amehlo akhe aqala ukukhanya. Wasixhawula: “Ngiyajabula ukuthi abantu abasha njengani bafuna ukwazi iBhayibheli,” esho ephindaphinda. Echichima injabulo, wahlala waqonda esihlalweni sakhe sabakhubazekile wanga uLinda. Samukela omagazini abambalwa futhi sathembisa ukuza emhlanganweni olandelayo.

Safika ngaphambi nje kokuba uqalise. Nganginesihluthu nentshebe futhi ngigqoke udangara nesikipa. ULinda wayegqoke ingubo yomshado eluhlaza eneminyaka engama-30 ubudala kababekazi wakhe. Ngabona indoda eyayigqoke ibhantshi nothayi imi emnyango futhi ngacabanga: ‘Isidala sangempela! Yeka lesosiqalo!’ Nokho, yayinobungane futhi yathi: “Besinilindele.” Ngashaqeka kodwa ngathi kuyo: “Singathanda ukuba nesifundo seBhayibheli.” Ngisho nalokho akuzange kuyimangaze. “Sekuhleliwe kakade,” iphendula. Ngicasukile kancane, sangena.

Phakathi nomhlangano, izikhathi eziningi ngezwa sengathi isikhulumi sasibhekisela kimi siqu. Futhi abanye ebandleni bamangala lapho uLinda ekhipha INqabayokulinda ayeyilungiselele isifundo kusengaphambili. Ngemva kwamahora amabili, udade osekhulile weza futhi wasanga, ubuso bakhe buphuphuma injabulo. Nguye owayesakaze izindaba zokuza kwethu. Kwenziwa amalungiselelo esifundo seBhayibheli sasikhathi sonke nomzalwane owayesamukele, futhi ezinyangeni eziyisishiyagalolunye kamuva, ngoApril 4, 1976, ngabonakalisa ukuzinikezela kwami kuJehova ngokucwiliswa emanzini.

Yeka indlela engajabula ngayo ngokufinyelela ukwazi Lowo owathembisa: “Bheka, ngenza konke kube-kusha”! (IsAmbulo 21:5) Futhi uMdali uyokuletha kanjani ukulunga kweqiniso? IzAga 2:21, 22 zinikeza impendulo: “Ngokuba abaqotho bayakuhlala ezweni, abapheleleyo basale kulo. Kepha ababi bayakunqunywa ezweni, nabambuluzayo bayakusishulwa kulo.”

Nakuba ngaphambili ngangima neRote Fahne phambi kwamasango amafemu, manje ngase ngima ngeMigqibelo kuKarl Marx Street eBerlin-Neukölln neNqabayokulinda. Manje ngase ngingakhuluma ngokuthile okungekho simiso esenziwe ngumuntu esingakunikeza. Ukuphila okuphakade. (Johane 17:3) Ngafunda indlela “abaqotho” ngisho kwamanje abaqeqeshwa ngayo ukwembatha “umuntu omusha, owenziwe-musha, abe-nokwazi.” (Kolose 3:10) Lemfundo yezwe elisha ayinakwehluleka!

Ngokuqondene noLinda, manje wayesezimisele ukuba angaphinde alokothe afulathele uMthombo wokulunga kweqiniso. UPeter noReni, abasifundisa izindlela zikaJehova, bakuqaphela ayekudinga ngokomoya futhi bamsiza ukuba enze intuthuko.

Imigomo Emisha Endleleni Yokulunga.

Ekholiji, kwakunokwenqatshelwa okusobala kwezinkolelo manje engase ngizemukela ngentshiseko enkulu. Uprofesa wekilasi lami, umdwebi-mifanekiso ongusaziwayo, wabonisa ukuthi kuyofuneka ngikhethe phakathi kokudweba nokholo lwami olusha. Ngakho, ngayeka ukudweba imifanekiso futhi ngafuna umsebenzi owawungasisiza sifinyelele umgomo wethu omusha: inkonzo yobuphayona. Sinalokhu engqondweni, mina noLinda sakhuluma ngesifiso sethu ngokuphindaphindiwe noJehova ngomkhuleko. Sathumela izicelo zethu kusasele ingxenye yonyaka ngaphambi kosuku lwethu lokuqalisa oluhleliwe, uSeptember 1, 1977.

Nokho, kwakungelula, kodwa ngosizo lukaJehova sawufinyelela umgomo wethu. Okwamanje, kusukela ngoJanuary 1, 1985, mina noLinda besikhonza njengamaphayona akhethekile—ngakho esinye isifiso esivuthayo siye sagcwaliseka. Ukusebenzisa wonke amandla ethu ekusizeni abantu ukuba bafunde indlela yokulunga kweqiniso kusanelisa kakhulu.

Futhi kuthiwani ngokulangazelela kwami ukulunga? Ingabe kuye kwaneliswa? Yebo. Namuhla ngazi incazelo yangempela yamazwi kaJesu akuMathewu 5:6: “Babusisiwe abalambele, bomele ukulunga, ngokuba bayakusuthiswa.”

[Umbhalo waphansi]