Injani Inhlonipho Yakho Ocingweni?

“Ngaphandle Kokusondelana Komkhaya Ngokomzwelo, Impilo, Nokuthanda Umsebenzi, Kukhona Yini Okunye Okunengxenye Enkulu Enjabulweni Yokuphila, Okubuyisela Futhi Kukhuphule Ukuzethemba Kwethu, Njengokukhulumisana Ngomusa?”

LAPHO ebuza lowo mbuzo, umlobi waseMelika futhi owayenguthisha uLucy Elliot Keeler wayebeka ukubaluleka okukhulu enjabulweni yomuntu siqu nokwaneliseka okungatholakala ekukhulumisaneni ngomlomo, ikhono elanikwa umuntu ngothando ngesikhathi edalwa.—Eksodusi 4:11, 12.

Okunengxenye enkulu ekwandeni kokushelela kwenkulumo yabantu emashumini angu-12 eminyaka adlule kuye kwaba ukusungula kuka-Alexander Graham Bell ucingo. Namuhla, ucingo lwenza kube nokuxhumana okusemqoka phakathi kwezinkulungwane zezigidi zabantu abayizakhamuzi zomhlaba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lusetshenziselwa ibhizinisi noma ukuzijabulisa.

Ucingo Nawe

Ukusebenzisa ucingo kulithuthukisa kangakanani izinga lokuphila kwakho? Awuvumi yini ukuthi impendulo yakho kulowo mbuzo ixhomeke kakhulu kubantu abahilelekile kunasocingweni ngokwalo? Ngempela, kuyafaneleka ukuba sibuze lombuzo, Injani inhlonipho yakho ocingweni?

Inhlonipho ocingweni ihlanganisa izici ezinjengesimo sengqondo, imfanelo yokukhuluma, nekhono lokulalela. Okunye okuhlobene nalokhu, kungaba izindlela zokusebenzisa ucingo nendlela yokubhekana nezingcingo ezicasulayo.

Ukucabangela Abanye

Njengoba kunjalo kukho konke ukukhulumisana kwabantu, inhlonipho ocingweni ivela ekuzwelaneni nabanye. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Bhekani isithakazelo somunye nomunye hhayi nje esenu siqu.”—Filipi 2:4, The New English Bible.

Lapho isisebenzi esinokuhlangenwe nakho emshinini wokwamukela izingcingo sibuzwa umbuzo othi, “Yikuphi oye wakuthola kuyizibonelo ezivame kakhulu zomkhuba omubi ocingweni?,” saphendula ngokuthi okuvame kakhulu “ngumuntu oshaya ucingo athi, ‘uSibongile lo’ (Bangaki oSibongile obaziyo?) noma, okubi nakakhulu athi, ‘Yimi lo,’ noma ‘Qagela ukuthi ukhuluma nobani.’” Izingeniso ezinjalo ezingenangqondo, mhlawumbe ezikhulunywa ngezinhloso ezinhle, zingabangela ukudumala noma ukuphelelwa isineke. Lesi sisebenzi saqhubeka: “Kungani ungaqali ingxoxo yasocingweni ngendlela ejabulisayo ngokuzazisa ngokucacile futhi ngaphezu kwalokho, ngenxa yokucabangela lowo omshayela ucingo, ubuze ukuthi isikhathi siyavuma yini ukuba nikhulume?”

Khumbula, nakuba isimo sobuso bakho singenakubonakala, isimo sakho sengqondo sizoba sobala. Kanjani? Ngesimo sezwi lakho. Ukungabi nasineke, ukucikeka, ukuthukuthela, ukungabi nandaba, ubuqotho, ukwenama, ukuba usizo, nemfudumalo—konke kuyadaluleka. Yiqiniso, ukucasuka kungaba ukusabela okungokwemvelo lapho uphazanyiswa. Kuleso simo, ngenxa yenhlonipho, zama ukuhlaba ikhefu futhi uthi ukufaka “ukumomotheka” ezwini lakho ngaphambi kokuphendula. Kungenzeka ukuba uphikise ngaphandle kokusebenzisa izwi eliphikisayo.

Lapho ukucabangela kuhlangene nephimbo lezwi elijabulisayo kungaphumela emazwini ‘amahle ekwakheni kuye ngokwesidingo’ nasekudluliseleni ‘okuhle kwabezwayo.’—Efesu 4:29.

Imfanelo Yokukhuluma

Yiqiniso, uhlobo lwenkulumo esilusebenzisayo lubalulekile. Ingabe uyavumelana nalemithetho elandelayo futhi uyayigcina? Khuluma ngendlela evamile, ngokucacile, nangokukhanyayo. Ungambundazi. Ungamemezi—ngisho nalapho ushayele endaweni ekude. Ungawagwinyi amagama akho. Gwema inkulumo yobuvila efushanisa noma yeqe izinhlamvu zamagama; futhi gwema “amagama angasho lutho” nokukhuluma ngokuphinda amagama, okungaba okudidayo futhi kubangele ukucasuka. Xwaya ukusebenzisa iphimbo elinesidina elingaguquguquki. Ukugcizelelwa komqondo nokuguquguquka kwezwi okufanele kwenza inkulumo ibe nenjongo, ikhange, futhi iqabule. Khumbula futhi ukuthi ukudla lapho uxoxa ocingweni akuyithuthukisi imfanelo yokukhuluma futhi akubonisi inhlonipho.

Ukukhethwa kwamagama nakho kufanele kucatshangelwe. Kudingeka ukuqonda. Sebenzisa amagama acacile nalula, aqondakala ngokushesha. Amagama anezincazelo ezithile. Angaba nomusa noma abe nonya, abe aduduzayo noma abe nokhahlo, abe akhuthazayo noma adumazayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umuntu angaba ohlekisayo ngaphandle kokuba ocasulayo, abe ongagunci ngaphandle kokuba ophoxayo noluhlaza, futhi abe nobuciko ngaphandle kokuba ogwegwesayo. Inkulumo ebonisa inhlonipho njengokuthi “ngiyacela” nokuthi “ngiyabonga” ijatshulelwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Amazwi anomusa, acabangelayo, namnandi ayilokho umphostoli uPawulu ayenakho engqondweni lapho ebhala: “Amazwi enu ngaso sonke isikhathi mawabe nomusa, ayoliswe ngosawoti, ukuze nazi ukuthi kufanele nimphendule kanjani umuntu ngamunye.”—Kolose 4:6.

Yiba Isilaleli Esihle

Kunendaba yensizwa esentsha eyacela uyise ukuba ayitshele imfihlo yokuba oxoxisana kahle nabanye. “Lalela, ndodana yami,” ephendula. “Ngilalele,” kusho osemusha. “Ngitshele okwengeziwe.” “Akukho okwengeziwe engingakutshela khona,” kuphendula uyise. Ngempela, ukuba isilaleli esinesithakazelo nesinozwela kuyisithako esisemqoka senhlonipho yasocingweni.

Ukuhluleka ukugcina umthetho olula kungaphumela ekubeni ubhekwe njengesidina sasocingweni. Muphi wona? Ungayengameli ingxoxo. Ngokwesibonelo, ungathatheli, ngokulandisa imininingwane ngaminye okungapheli, ngengxoxo obe nayo noma umlando omude wakho siqu wamahlala-khona. Nalapha, sinomthetho weBhayibheli ofingqiwe, osebenzisekayo, kulokhu ovela kumfundi uJakobe. “Shesha ukuzwa kodwa uphuze ukukhuluma.”—Jakobe 1:19, Jerusalem Bible.

Amaphuzu Okugcina Okucatshangelwa

Manje ake sibhekise ukunakekela emibuzweni emibili yokugcina ethintekayo odabeni lwenhlonipho yasocingweni. Yini engase ishiwo ngendlela yokusebenzisa ucingo? Ingabe zikhona yini iziqondiso ezithile ezisikiselwayo zokusingatha izingcingo ezingathandeki?

Lapho usocingweni, kwake kwenzeka yini wezwa izwi ngakolunye uhlangothi locingo lishabalala ngezikhawu futhi liqheluka? Lokho kufanele kukukhumbuze ukuba uluqondanise nomlomo ucingo, ulugcine lusebangeni elingaba amasentimitha amabili ukusuka ezindebeni zakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubonisa inhlonipho ukulawula imisindo eseceleni. Lapho ushaya ucingo, shaya izinombolo ngokucophelela ukuze ugweme ukushaya izinombolo okungezona; futhi lapho usuqedile ukukhuluma, lubuyisela kahle ucingo endaweni yalo.

Ingabe ubulokhu uyisisulu sezingcingo ezicasulayo? Ngokudabukisayo, lokhu kubonakala kwanda. Ulimi lwenhlamba, olusikisela ukungcola, noma oluyichilo lufanelwa ukusabela ngendlela eyodwa nje—ukuluvala ucingo. (Qhathanisa neyabase-Efesu 5:3, 4.) Kuyoba okufanayo nalapho lowo oshaye ucingo enqaba ukuzazisa. Uma unesizathu sokusola ucingo olwamukele, incwadi ethi How to Write and Speak Better itusa ukuba “ungaphenduli uma izwi lomuntu ongamazi libuza, ‘Ubani okhulumayo?’” futhi ungaxoxi ngalokho ohlela ukukwenza nomuntu ongamazi.

Yeka ukuthi kuhle kanjani ukwazi ukuthi ekugcineni, ukuba nenhlonipho ocingweni akudingi uhlu olude lwemithetho noma izimiso! Njengoba kunjalo ngakho konke ukusebenzelana phakathi kwabantu, ubuhlobo obujabulisayo nobunomvuzo buvela ngokusebenzisa lokho okuvame ukubizwa ngokuthi uMthetho Wegolide. UJesu Kristu wathi: “Ngakho-ke, zonke izinto enifuna abantu bazenze kini, nani kumelwe nizenze ngokufanayo kubo.” (Mathewu 7:12) KumKristu, kukhona nesifiso sokujabulisa Lowo owapha umuntu isipho sokukhuluma. Umhubi wathandaza: “Amazwi omlomo wami nokuzindla kwenhliziyo yami makuthandeke ebusweni bakho, Jehova, dwala lami nomhlengi wami.”—IHubo 19:14.