Umshado Ungaphumelela Ezweni Lanamuhla
“Gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.”—KOLOSE 3:14.
1, 2. (a) Yini ekhuthazayo ebandleni lobuKristu? (b) Uyini umshado ophumelelayo?
UMA sibheka ebandleni lobuKristu, akujabulisi yini ukubona imibhangqwana eminingi esineminyaka engu-10, engu-20, engu-30, noma ngaphezulu, ithembekile kubangane bayo bomshado? Iye yanamathelana kumnyama kubomvu.—Genesise 2:24.
2 Iningi lingavuma ukuthi umshado walo ubé nazo izinselele. Umuntu othile wabhala: “Imishado ejabulayo akusho ukuthi ayinazinkinga. Kuba nezikhathi ezimnandi nezikhathi ezinzima . . . Kodwa ngandlela-thile . . . laba bantu bayaqhubeka behlezi ndawonye naphezu [kweziyaluyalu] zokuphila kwanamuhla.” Imibhangqwana ephumelelayo iye yafunda ukubhekana nezivunguvungu nezinkathazo ezingenakugwenywa ezibangelwa izingcindezi zokuphila, ikakhulu uma ikhulise izingane. Iye yafunda ngokuzibonela ukuthi uthando lweqiniso “alusoze lwaphela nanini.”—1 Korinte 13:8.
3. Amanani abonisani ngomshado nesehlukaniso, okubangela miphi imibuzo?
3 Ngokuphambene, imishado eminingi ichithekile. Umbiko othile uthi: “Ingxenye yayo yonke imishado yase-United States namuhla kulindeleke ukuba iphele ngesehlukaniso. Futhi ingxenye yalezo [zehlukaniso] iyokwenzeka kungakapheli iminyaka engu-7,8 kushadiwe . . . Kubantu abangamaphesenti angu-75 abayophinde bashade, abangamaphesenti angu-60 bayophinde bahlukanise futhi.” Ngisho nasemazweni ebesingandile kuwo isehlukaniso, izinto zishintshile. Ngokwesibonelo, eJapane izinga lesehlukaniso licishe laphindeka kabili kule minyaka embalwa edlule. Iziphi ezinye zezingcindezi eziholele kulesi simo, ngezinye izikhathi ezithinta ngisho nebandla lobuKristu? Yini edingekayo ukuze senze umshado uphumelele naphezu kwemizamo kaSathane yokulicekela phansi leli lungiselelo?
Izingibe Okumelwe Zigwenywe
4. Iziphi ezinye zezinto ezingacekela phansi umshado?
4 IZwi likaNkulunkulu lisisiza siqonde izinto ezingawucekela phansi umshado. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngamazwi omphostoli uPawulu mayelana nezimo ezaziyoba khona kulezi zinsuku zokugcina: “Ezinsukwini zokugcina kuyofika izikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo. Ngoba abantu bayokuba abazithandayo, abathanda imali, abazazisayo, abazidlayo, abahlambalazi, abangalaleli abazali, abangabongiyo, abangathembeki, abangenalo uthando, abangafuni sivumelwano, abanyundeli, abangenakho ukuzithiba, abanolaka, abangenalo uthando lokuhle, abakhapheli, abanenkani, abakhukhumele, abathandi benjabulo kunokuba abathandi bakaNkulunkulu, abanesimo sokuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu kodwa bewaphika amandla ako; laba ubafulathele.”—2 Thimothewu 3:1-5.
5. Kungani umuntu ‘ozithandayo’ ebeka umshado wakhe engozini, futhi sithini iseluleko seBhayibheli ngalokhu?
5 Uma sihlaziya amazwi kaPawulu, sithola ukuthi eziningi zezinto azibalayo zingaba umthelela ekuwohlokeni kobuhlobo bomshado. Ngokwesibonelo, labo “abazithandayo” bazicabangela bona bodwa, hhayi omunye umuntu. Amadoda noma amakhosikazi azithanda wona wodwa afuna kwenziwe intando yawo. Awafuni ukwamukela imibono yomunye umuntu, antamo-lukhuni. Isimo sengqondo esinjalo singayakha yini injabulo emshadweni? Phinde. Ngokuhlakanipha, umphostoli uPawulu wéluleka amaKristu, kuhlanganise nemibhangqwana eshadile: “Ningenzi lutho ngombango noma ngokuzazisa, kodwa ngokuthobeka kwengqondo nibheka abanye njengabakhulu kunani, ningakhathaleli nje kuphela izindaba zenu siqu, kodwa futhi nikhathalele nezabanye.”—Filipi 2:3, 4.
6. Ukuthanda imali kungabucekela kanjani phansi ubuhlobo bomshado?
6 Ukuthanda imali kungahlukanisa indoda nomkayo. UPawulu waxwayisa: “Labo abazimisele ngokuceba bawela esilingweni nasogibeni nasezifisweni eziningi ezingenangqondo nezilimazayo, eziphonsa abantu ekubhujisweni nasencithakalweni. Ngoba uthando lwemali luyimpande yazo zonke izinhlobo zezinto ezilimazayo, futhi ngokuzama ukufinyelela lolu thando abanye baye baduka okholweni futhi bazigwaza yonke indawo ngeminjunju eminingi.” (1 Thimothewu 6:9, 10) Ngokudabukisayo, lokho uPawulu axwayisa ngakho kuyenzeka emishadweni eminingi namuhla. Befuna ingcebo, abaningi abazinaki izidingo zomngane wabo womshado, kuhlanganise nesidingo esiyisisekelo sokusekelwa ngokomzwelo nesokuba nomngane oseduze ohlale ekhona.
7. Kwezinye izimo, ukuziphatha okunjani okuye kwaholela ekuphingeni?
7 UPawulu wathi futhi kulezi zinsuku zokugcina abanye babeyoba “abangathembeki, abangenalo uthando, abangafuni sivumelwano.” Isifungo somshado siyisithembiso esinzulu okufanele siholele esibophweni esihlala njalo, hhayi ekukhohliseni. (Malaki 2:14-16) Kodwa abanye baye babonisa isithakazelo sothando kumuntu abangashadile naye. Enye inkosikazi eseminyakeni yawo-30 eyashiywa umyeni wayo yachaza ukuthi ngisho nangaphambi kokuba ahambe, wayebajwayela ngokweqile abanye abantu besifazane, ababonise uthando olwedlulele. Wayengakwazi ukubona ukuthi ikuphi ukuziphatha okungayifanele indoda eshadile. Kwakuba buhlungu kakhulu kule nkosikazi lapho imbona eziphatha ngale ndlela, futhi yazama ukumxwayisa ngobuhlakani ngengozi ayelengela kuyo. Noma kunjalo, lo myeni wagcina ephingile. Ngisho esexwayiswa ngomusa, akalalelanga. Waqonda ngqò ogibeni wayongena kulo.—IzAga 6:27-29.
8. Yini engaholela ekuphingeni?
8 Yeka ukuthi iBhayibheli lixwayisa ngokucace kanjani ngokuphinga! “Noma ubani ophinga nowesifazane uswele inhliziyo; okwenzayo uchitha owakhe umphefumulo.” (IzAga 6:32) Ngokuvamile, ukuphinga akuyona into evele yenzeke umuntu engacabanganga. Njengoba kwasho umlobi weBhayibheli uJakobe, isono esinjengokuphinga ngokuvamile senzeka ngemva kokuba kwakheke umcabango wabe usufukanyelwa. (Jakobe 1:14, 15) Kancane kancane, umngane womshado owonayo akabe esathembeka kumuntu ayefunge kuye ukuthi bayofa balahlane. UJesu wathi: “Nizwile ukuthi kwathiwa, ‘Ungaphingi.’ Kodwa mina ngithi kini wonke umuntu oqhubeka ebuka owesifazane aze amkhanuke, usephingile naye kakade enhliziyweni yakhe.”—Mathewu 5:27, 28.
9. Isiphi iseluleko esihlakaniphile esisencwadini yezAga 5:18-20?
9 Ngakho, inkambo yokuhlakanipha nokwethembeka yilena ekhuthazwa incwadi yezAga: “Mawubusiswe umthombo wakho, ujabule ngomfazi wobusha bakho, indluzelekazi ethandekayo nembuzi ebukekayo yasezintabeni. Amabele akhe mawakujabulise kakhulu ngazo zonke izikhathi. Kwangathi njalo ungagajwa uthando lwakhe. Pho, kungani, ndodana yami, kufanele ugajwe uthando ngowesifazane ongaziwa noma ugone isifuba sowesifazane wesinye isizwe?”—IzAga 5:18-20.
Ningajahi Ukushada
10. Kungani kuwukuhlakanipha ukuzinika isikhathi sokumazi umuntu ocabanga ukushada naye?
10 Kungase kube nezinkinga emshadweni uma abantu ababili bengenela lobo buhlobo kungakabi isikhathi. Kungenzeka basebancane kakhulu, ingqondo ayikavuleki. Noma mhlawumbe abaziniki isikhathi esanele sokwazana—bazi izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandi, imigomo yabo ekuphileni, nomkhaya womunye nomunye. Kuwukuhlakanipha ukuba nesineke, uzinike isikhathi esanele sokwazi umuntu ocabanga ukushada naye. Cabanga ngoJakobe, indodana ka-Isaka. Ngaphambi kokuba avunyelwe ukushada noRaheli kwadingeka ayisebenzele iminyaka eyisikhombisa indoda eyayizoba umukhwe wakhe. Wayezimisele ukukwenza lokho ngoba imizwa yakhe kwakungeyothando lwangempela, hhayi ukukhangwa ubuhle nje.—Genesise 29:20-30.
11. (a) Isibopho somshado sihlanganisani? (b) Kungani kubalulekile emshadweni ukusebenzisa ulimi ngokuhlakanipha?
11 Umshado awuyona nje indaba yokuhlale nibukana ngamehlo agcwele uthando. Isibopho somshado sihlanganisa abantu ababili abavela emakhaya angafani, abanobuntu nemizwelo engafani, ngokuvamile abanemfundo engafani. Ngezinye izikhathi sihlanganisa amasiko-mpilo amabili, ngisho nezilimi ezimbili. Ngisho nalapho singahlanganisi lokhu okungenhla, okungenani sihlanganisa imiqondo emibili engaveza imibono engafani ezintweni eziningi ezihlukahlukene. Leyo mibono engafani iyisici esingokoqobo emshadweni. Ingase ihlale igxeka futhi ikhononda, noma ingase ikhuthaze ngokufudumele futhi yakhe. Yebo, ngamazwi ethu singamlimaza noma simthobe umngane wethu womshado. Ukukhuluma singacabanganga kungenza izinto zibe nzima emshadweni.—IzAga 12:18; 15:1, 2; 16:24; 21:9; 31:26.
12, 13. Imuphi umbono ongeqisi okhuthazwayo ngomshado?
12 Ngakho-ke, kuwukuhlakanipha ukuzinika isikhathi sokumazi kahle-hle umuntu ocabanga ukushada naye. Udade othile onokuhlangenwe nakho wake wathi: “Lapho ubheka umuntu ocabanga ukushada naye, cabanga ngezici ezibalulekile mhlawumbe eziyishumi ongathanda abe nazo. Uma uthola eziyisikhombisa kuphela, zibuze, ‘Ngizimisele yini ukungazinaki lezi ezintathu ezingekho? Ngingakumela yini nsuku zonke ukuntuleka kwazo?’ Uma ungabaza, yima, ucabangisise.” Yebo, akufanele weqise. Uma ufuna ukushada, yazi ukuthi ngeke umthole umuntu ophelele. Kodwa-ke futhi nalowo muntu oyogcina eshade nawe uyobe engatholanga umuntu ophelele!—Luka 6:41.
13 Umshado uhilela ukuzidela. UPawulu wakuqokomisa lokhu lapho ethi: “Ngempela, ngifuna ukuba nikhululeke ekukhathazekeni. Indoda engashadile ikhathazeka ngezinto zeNkosi, ukuthi ingakuthola kanjani ukwamukelwa yiNkosi. Kodwa indoda eshadile ikhathazeka ngezinto zezwe, ukuthi ingakuthola kanjani ukwamukelwa ngumkayo, futhi ihlukene phakathi. Futhi, owesifazane ongashadile, kanye noyintombi, ukhathazeka ngezinto zeNkosi, ukuze abe ngcwele kokubili emzimbeni wakhe nasemoyeni wakhe. Nokho, owesifazane oshadile ukhathazeka ngezinto zezwe, ukuthi angakuthola kanjani ukwamukelwa ngumyeni wakhe.”—1 Korinte 7:32-34.
Okwenza Eminye Imishado Ingaphumeleli
14, 15. Yini engaba umthelela ekubeni buthakathaka kwesibopho somshado?
14 Muva nje udade othile uhlukunyezwe isehlukaniso lapho eshiywa umyeni wakhe sebeneminyaka engu-12 beshadile, waqala ukuthandana nomunye wesifazane. Wayebonile yini lo dade ukuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi? Uyachaza: “Kwahamba kwahamba wayeka ukuthandaza. Wayebeka izaba eziwubala zokungayi esifundweni nasensimini. Wayengasenaso isikhathi sami, athi umatasa noma ukhathale kakhulu. Wayengasaxoxi nami. Sasingasakhulumi ngezinto ezingokomoya. Isimo sakhe sasidabukisa. Wayengaseyona leya ndoda engashada nayo.”
15 Nabanye bathi bábona izimpawu ezifanayo, ezihlanganisa ukudebeselela isifundo seBhayibheli somuntu siqu, umthandazo, noma imihlangano yobuKristu. Ngamanye amazwi, abantu abaningi abagcina beshiye abangane babo bomshado basuke bevumele ubuhlobo babo noJehova baba buthakathaka. Ngenxa yalokho, umbono wabo ongokomoya uyafiphala. UJehova akabe esaba uNkulunkulu ophilayo kubo. Izwe elisha lokulunga elithenjisiwe alibe lisaba yinto engokoqobo. Kwezinye izimo, ngaphambi kokuba umuntu aqale ukuthandana nomunye umuntu usuke eqale ngokuba buthakathaka kanje ngokomoya.—Hebheru 10:38, 39; 11:6; 2 Petru 3:13, 14.
16. Yini eqinisa umshado?
16 Ngokuphambene, omunye umbhangqwana ojabule kakhulu emshadweni wawo uthi ukuphumelela komshado wawo kubangelwa isibopho sawo esiqinile esingokomoya. Uthandaza ndawonye, utadishe ndawonye. Umyeni uthi: “Sifunda iBhayibheli ndawonye. Sihamba ndawonye enkonzweni. Siyakujabulela ukwenza izinto ndawonye.” Isifundo sicacile: Ukulondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle noJehova kuyosiza kakhulu ekuqiniseni umshado.
Bhekanani Namaqiniso Futhi Nikhulumisane
17. (a) Iziphi izinto ezimbili ezisizayo ekwenzeni umshado uphumelele? (b) Umphostoli uPawulu uluchaza kanjani uthando lobuKristu?
17 Kukhona nezinye izinto ezimbili ezisizayo ekwenzeni umshado uphumelele: uthando lobuKristu nokukhulumisana. Lapho uthando lwabantu ababili luvutha amalangabi, bayawashalazela amaphutha omunye nomunye. Bangase bashade belindele lukhulu, mhlawumbe bethonywe yilokho abakufunde ezincwadini zothando noma abakubone kumabhayisikobho. Nokho, ekugcineni lowo mbhangqwana kudingeka ubhekane namaqiniso. Amaphushana amancane noma imikhutshana engacasuli kangako ingase iphenduke izinkinga ezinkulu. Uma lokho kwenzeka, amaKristu kudingeka abonise izithelo zomoya, esinye sazo esiwuthando. (Galathiya 5:22, 23) Impela, uthando lunamandla ayinqaba. Kodwa lolo akulona olwezithandani—uthando lobuKristu. UPawulu waluchaza lolo thando lobuKristu, wathi: “Luyabekezela futhi lunomusa. . . . Aluzifuneli izinzuzo zalo siqu, alucasuki. Alunamagqubu. . . . Lubekezelela zonke izinto, lukholelwa yizo zonke izinto, luthemba zonke izinto, lukhuthazelela zonke izinto.” (1 Korinte 13:4-7) Kusobala ukuthi uthando lwangempela luyabonelela lapho omunye esilela khona. Lubhekana namaqiniso, lungalindeli ukuba umuntu aphelele.—IzAga 10:12.
18. Ukukhulumisana kungawuqinisa kanjani umshado?
18 Ukukhulumisana nakho kubalulekile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sebeneminyaka emingaki beshadile, abangane bomshado kufanele baxoxe futhi balalelane ngempela. Enye indoda ithi: “Imizwa yethu siyiveza sikhululeke, kodwa ngendlela enobungane.” Njengoba bazana kangcono, indoda noma inkosikazi ifunda ukungagcini ngokulalela lokho okushiwoyo kuphela kodwa nalokho omunye akhetha ukungakusho. Ngamanye amazwi, njengoba iminyaka ihamba, umbhangqwana ojabulayo emshadweni ufunda ukuqonda imicabango engashiwongo noma imizwa engavezwanga ngamazwi. Amanye amakhosikazi aye athi abayeni bawo abawalaleli ngempela. Abanye abayeni bakhononda ngokuthi amakhosikazi abo avele afune ukuxoxa lapho nje ithuba lingavumi neze. Ukukhulumisana kuhilela isihawu nokuqonda. Ukukhulumisana okuhle kuzuzisa bobabili indoda nenkosikazi.—Jakobe 1:19.
19. (a) Kungani ukuxolisa kungaba nzima? (b) Yini eyosishukumisela ukuba sixolise?
19 Ngezinye izikhathi ukukhulumisana kuhlanganisa nokuxolisa. Lokho akulula njalo. Ukuvuma amaphutha akho kudinga ukuthobeka. Kodwa yeka umahluko okuwenzayo emshadweni! Ukuxolisa okuqotho kungasusa isithiyo ebesingabangela ingxabano esikhathini esizayo futhi kuvule ithuba lentethelelo yangempela nekhambi lenkinga. UPawulu wathi: “Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma umuntu enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye. Njengoba nje uJehova anithethelela ngokukhululekile, yenzani kanjalo nani. Kodwa, ngaphezu kwazo zonke lezi zinto, gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.”—Kolose 3:13, 14.
20. UmKristu kufanele amphathe kanjani umngane wakhe womshado lapho bebodwa nalapho kukhona abanye abantu?
20 Okunye okubalulekile emshadweni ukusekelana. Indoda nenkosikazi abangamaKristu kufanele bakwazi ukwethembana, nokwethembela komunye nomunye. Akufanele kube khona olulaza omunye noma omehlisa isithunzi ngandlela-thile. Simtusa ngothando umngane wethu womshado; asimgxeki ngokhahlo. (IzAga 31:28b) Asimehlisi neze ngokwenza amahlaya awubuwula ngaye nabonisa ukungacabangeli. (Kolose 4:6) Ukusekelana okunjalo kuqiniswa ukubonisana njalo uthando. Ukumbamba noma umbuke ngamehlo othando umuntu oshade naye kungamtshela ukuthi: “Ngisakuthanda. Ngiyajabula ngokuthi sindawonye.” Lezi ezinye zezici ezingaqinisa ubuhlobo futhi zisize ekwenzeni umshado uphumelele ezweni lanamuhla. Zikhona nezinye, futhi isihloko esilandelayo sizonikeza iziqondiso ezengeziwe zemiBhalo zokwenza umshado uphumelele.a
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Ukuze uthole ukwaziswa okuningilizayo ngale ndaba, bheka incwadi ethi Imfihlo Yenjabulo Yomkhaya, ekhishwa oFakazi BakaJehova.
Ungachaza?
• Iziphi ezinye zezici ezingacekela umshado phansi?
• Kungani kungekhona ukuhlakanipha ukushada ngokuxhamazela?
• Ingokomoya liwuthinta kanjani umshado?
• Iziphi izici ezisiza ekuqiniseni umshado?
[Isithombe ekhasini 12]
Umshado awuyona nje indaba yokuhlale nibukana ngamehlo agcwele uthando
[Izithombe ekhasini 14]
Ukuba nobuhlobo obuqinile noJehova kuyawusiza umbhangqwana wenze umshado wawo uphumelele