Basha—Vumelani Abazali Benu Banisize Ekulondeni Izinhliziyo Zenu!

UCABANGA ukuthi iyiphi inselele enzima kunazo zonke ukaputeni womkhumbi abhekana nayo? Ingabe ukuwela ulwandlekazi ngokuphephile? Akuvami ukuba yilokho. Iningi lemikhumbi licwila ngasosebeni, hhayi phakathi olwandle. Eqinisweni, ukumisa umkhumbi echwebeni kungaba ingozi ngaphezu kokuhlalisa indiza phansi. Ngani?

Ngaphambi kokuba ukaputeni awumise ngokuphephile umkhumbi wakhe, kudingeka agweme zonke izingozi zalelo chweba. Kudingeka acabange ngemisinga ebe egwema ukushayisa eminye imikhumbi. Kumelwe futhi agwegwe izindunduma zesihlabathi, amadwala, noma imikhumbi eyacwila, efihleke emanzini. Futhi okubi nakakhulu, kungenzeka uyaqala ukungenisa kulelo theku.

Ukuze anqobe lezi zinkinga, ukaputeni ohlakaniphile angase afune usizo lomshayeli womkhumbi olazi kahle lelo chweba. Umshayeli uma eceleni kukakaputeni engosini yokuqondisa umkhumbi, anikeze iziyalezo ezihlakaniphile. Ndawonye babheka izingozi futhi baqondise umkhumbi emizileni emincane uze uyokuma echwebeni.

Ikhono elibaluleke kakhulu lomshayeli womkhumbi lifanekisela usizo olungenakuqhathaniswa olungatholwa intsha engamaKristu okudingeka ihlele indlela yokuwela izilwandle eziyingozi zokuphila. Luyini lolu sizo? Kungani abasha beludinga?

Masiqhubeke nomfanekiso womkhumbi. Uma ungomusha, ngandlela-thile ufana nokaputeni womkhumbi ngokuthi kumelwe ugcine wamukele umthwalo wemfanelo wokuqondisa ukuphila kwakho. Futhi abazali bakho banendima efana neyomshayeli womkhumbi njengoba bezama ukukuqondisa kwezinye zezimo ezinzima kunazo zonke okuyoke kudingeke ubhekane nazo ekuphileni. Nokho, phakathi neminyaka yobusha, ungase ukuthole kunzima ukwamukela isiyalo sabazali bakho. Kungani kunjalo?

Ngokuvamile inkinga iba senhliziyweni. Inhliziyo yakho engokomfanekiso ingase ikushukumisele ukuba ufise into enqatshelwe noma ulwe nalokho okubonakala kuwukuncishwa inkululeko. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukuthambekela kwenhliziyo yomuntu kubi kusukela ebusheni bakhe kuqhubeke.” (Genesise 8:21) UJehova ukwenza kucace ukuthi inkulu inselele obhekene nayo. Uyaxwayisa: “Inhliziyo ikhohlisa ngaphezu kwazo zonke izinto, futhi inhlanhlatha ngendlela eyingozi.” (Jeremiya 17:9, Rotherham) Ngaphezu kokufukamela izifiso ezingalungile, inhliziyo ingakhohlisa omusha acabange ukuthi wazi kangcono kunabazali bakhe, yize sebebone lukhulu kunaye. Nokho, kukhona izizathu ezizwakalayo zokuba ufune usizo lwabazali bakho njengoba udlula eminyakeni enzima yobusha.

Kungani Kufanele Ulalele Abazali Bakho?

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, uJehova, uMsunguli womkhaya, ukutshela ukuthi kufanele ulalele isiqondiso sabazali bakho. (Efesu 3:15) Njengoba uNkulunkulu emise abazali bakho ukuba bakunakekele, ukunika lesi seluleko: “Zingane, into elungile okufanele niyenze ukulalela abazali benu njengalabo iNkosi ebabeke phezu kwenu.” (Efesu 6:1-3, Phillips; IHubo 78:5) Nakuba kungenzeka ukuthi ungomusha osekhulakhulile, abazali bakho basenomthwalo wemfanelo wokukuqondisa, futhi unesibopho sokubalalela. Lapho umphostoli uPawulu ebhala ukuthi izingane kufanele zilalele abazali bazo, wasebenzisa igama lesiGreki elingabhekisela ezinganeni zanoma ibuphi ubudala. Ngokwesibonelo, njengoba kulotshwe kuMathewu 23:37, uJesu wabhekisela ezakhamuzini zaseJerusalema ngokuthi “abantwana” balo, yize iningi lazo lalingabantu abadala.

Amadoda amaningi athembekile asendulo aqhubeka elalela abazali bawo sekukudala aba ngabantu abadala. UJakobe, nakuba ayeyindoda endala, waqonda ukuthi kufanele alalele umyalo kayise wokuba angashadi nowesifazane ongeyena umkhulekeli kaJehova. (Genesise 28:1, 2) Ngokungangabazeki, uJakobe wayebonile nokuthi isinqumo somfowabo sokushada nabesifazane baseKhanani sasibangele abazali bakhe ubuhlungu obukhulu benhliziyo.—Genesise 27:46.

Ngaphandle kokuthi kuwumsebenzi abawunikwe uNkulunkulu ukukuqondisa, abazali bakho abangamaKristu cishe bafaneleka kakhulu ukuba abeluleki bakho. Ngokuyinhloko lokho kungoba bakwazi kahle kakhulu futhi ngokungangabazeki baneminyaka eminingi bebonisa ukuthi bakuthanda ngokungenabugovu. Njengomshayeli womkhumbi, bakhuluma ngezinto abazibonele zona mathupha. Nabo uqobo bábhekana ‘nezifiso zobusha.’ Futhi njengamaKristu eqiniso, baye bazibonela ukubaluleka kokulandela izimiso zeBhayibheli.—2 Thimothewu 2:22.

Njengoba unosizo olunjalo lwabantu abanokuhlangenwe nakho, uyasizakala ekubhekaneni ngokuphumelelayo ngisho nanezimo ezinzima kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngobuhlobo bakho nabobulili obuhlukile. Abazali abangamaKristu bangakuqondisa kanjani kule ndaba ebucayi?

Ukukhangwa Abobulili Obuhlukile

Abashayeli bemikhumbi bacebisa okaputeni ukuba baqhelele kude nezindunduma zesihlabathi ezingaphansi kwamanzi. Lezi zindunduma zithambile kodwa futhi ziyingozi ngoba zihlale zinyakaza. Abazali bakho nabo bafuna uqhele ezimweni ezingase zikufake ogibeni ngokomzwelo. Ngokwesibonelo, abazali bayazi ukuthi imizwa yokukhangwa abobulili obuhlukile inamandla futhi ingadida. Kodwa uma isike yavuswa, le mizwa ingakuminzisa.

Isibonelo sikaDina sibonisa imiphumela emibi yokusondela kakhulu engozini. Mhlawumbe ilukuluku lokwazi nesifiso sokuzijabulisa kwenza uDina wayozihlanganisa namantombazane aseKhanani, okungangabazeki ukuthi ayenesimilo esixegayo. Lokho okwaqale kwabonakala kuwukuzijabulisa okumsulwa ngokushesha kwaphenduka isenzakalo esibuhlungu—wadlwengulwa insizwa ‘eyayinodumo kakhulu’ emzini.—Genesise 34:1, 2, 19.

Ukuqhakambiswa kobulili namuhla kuzenza zibe zimbi nakakhulu izingozi ezinjalo. (Hoseya 5:4) Iningi lentsha lingenza kube sengathi ukuzijabulisa nabobulili obuhlukile iyona nto emnandi kakhulu. Ungase uzizwe kamnandi lapho uzicabanga uwedwa nomuntu okukhangayo ngokubukeka. Kodwa abazali abanothando bayozama ukukuvikela ekuzihlanganiseni nentsha engazihloniphi izindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu.

ULaura uyavuma ukuthi ilukuluku lokwazi lingaphuphuthekisa abasha bangayiboni ingozi. “Lapho amantombazane asekilasini engixoxela ukuthi adanse kwaze kwaba sebusuku nabafana abahle, enza kuzwakale sengathi kuyinto ongasoze wayikhohlwa. Ngiyazi ukuthi ngokuvamile asuke enza ihaba, kodwa noma kunjalo ngizizwa ngifisa ukwazi ukuthi kunjani futhi ngiye ngicabange ukuthi mhlawumbe ngiphuthelwa yinto emnandi ngempela. Nakuba ngazi ukuthi abazali bami benza kahle ukungangivumeli ukuya ezindaweni ezinjalo, ngisazizwa ngilingeka ukuya kuzo.”

Umkhumbi awunamabhuleki, ngakho uyephuza ukuma. Abazali bayazi ukuthi nesifiso sobulili sinjalo. Encwadini yezAga, insizwa elawulwa isifiso sobulili ifaniswa nenkunzi eholwayo iyohlatshwa. (IzAga 7:21-23) Awufuni kwenzeke lokho kuwe, kukwenze ucwile ngokomzwelo nangokomoya. Abazali bakho bangabona lapho inhliziyo yakho iqala ukukudukisa kulesi sici, bese bekuyala ngokufanele. Ingabe uyohlakanipha ngokwanele ukuba ubalalele, kanjalo ugweme inhlekelele?—IzAga 1:8; 27:12.

Ukusekela kwabazali bakho uyakudinga nalapho ubhekana nokucindezela kontanga. Bangakusiza kanjani?

Ithonya Elinamandla Lontanga Yakho

Umsinga onamandla ungasunduza umkhumbi uwukhiphe emzileni. Ukuze umelane naleli thonya, umkhumbi kudingeka ubhekiswe kwenye indawo. Ngokufanayo, ithonya elinamandla lenye intsha lingakusunduza likukhiphe emzileni ngokomoya uma ungathathi izinyathelo zokumelana nalo.

Njengoba indaba kaDina ibonisa, “uma wakha ubungane nabantu abayiziphukuphuku, ukuphila kwakho kuyokonakala.” (IzAga 13:20, Today’s English Version) Khumbula ukuthi eBhayibhelini, igama elithi “isiphukuphuku” lisho umuntu ongamazi uJehova noma okhetha ukungahambi ezindleleni zaKhe.

Nokho, kungase kungabi lula ukwenqaba imibono noma imikhuba yalabo ofunda nabo. UMaría José uyachaza: “Ngangifuna ukuthandwa enye intsha. Ngenxa yokuthi ngangingafuni icabange ukuthi ngihlukile, ngayilingisa kakhulu.” Kungenzeka ukuthi uthonywa ontanga yakho ungaqaphele—ohlotsheni lomculo owuthandayo, kulokho ofuna ukukugqoka, noma ngisho ekukhulumeni kwakho. Mhlawumbe uzizwa ukhululekile uma unentsha engontanga yakho. Kungokwemvelo lokho, kodwa kukuchaya ethonyeni labo elikhulu, elingase lilimaze.—IzAga 1:10-16.

UCaroline ukhumbula inkinga aba nayo eminyakeni embalwa edlule: “Kusukela ngineminyaka engu-13 ubudala, iningi lamantombazane engangikhula nawo lalinamasoka, futhi kwaphela iminyaka eminingana ngicindezelekile ukuba nami ngiwalingise. Kodwa umama wangiqondisa kulesi sikhathi esinzima. Wayechitha isikhathi esiningi engilalele, engibonisa, futhi engisiza ukuba ngibone isidingo sokungaqali ubuhlobo obunjalo kuze kube yilapho sengivuthwe kakhudlwana.”

Njengonina kaCaroline, abazali bakho bangase bazizwe benesibopho sokukuxwayisa ngokucindezela kontanga noma ngisho sokukubekela imingcele ezintweni ongazenza kanye nakubangane ongaba nabo. UNathan ukhumbula izimpikiswano eziningana aba nazo nabazali bakhe ngezindaba ezinjalo. Uyachaza: “Abangane bami babevame ukungibiza bathi asihambe, kodwa abazali bami babengafuni ngihlale namaqembu amakhulu noma ngiye emicimbini emikhulu engenamqondisi. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngangingatholi ukuthi kungani abanye abazali bona bezivumela izingane zabo.”

Nokho, kamuva uNathan waqonda. Uyavuma: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ‘ubuwula babuboshelwe ngempela enhliziyweni yami.’ Lobu buwula buvela kalula lapho abafana beyiqembu. Othile uqala into embi, omunye enze into embi ngaphezu kwaleyo, owesithathu abese edlulela. Ngokushesha bonke bayadudana ekwenzeni leyo nto. Ngisho nentsha ethi ikhonza uJehova ingawela kulolu gibe.”—IzAga 22:15.

UNathan noMaría José bobabili bashikashikeka ezinhliziyweni zabo lapho abazali babo bengabavumeli ukwenza izinto ezazishiwo ontanga yabo. Nokho, balalela futhi kamuva bajabula ngokuthi babelalele. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Thambekisa indlebe yakho uzwe amazwi abahlakaniphile, ukuze ugxilise inhliziyo yakho olwazini lwami.”—IzAga 22:17.

Bafanelwe Ukuhlonishwa

Umkhumbi otshekela nxanye kunzima ukuwuqondisa, futhi uma utsheka kakhulu ungagubuda kalula. Ngenxa yokungapheleli kwethu, sonke sithambekele ezintweni eziwubugovu nezenqatshelwe. Naphezu kwalokhu kuthambekela, abasha bangafika echwebeni ngokomfanekiso, uma belandela isiqondiso sabazali babo ngokucophelela.

Ngokwesibonelo, abazali bakho bangakusiza ukuba wenqabe umqondo wokuthi phakathi kwendlela encane eya ekuphileni nendlela ebanzi eya ekubhujisweni, kukhona nenye emaphakathi. (Mathewu 7:13, 14) Kuyiphutha ukucabanga ukuthi ungakwazi ukujabulela ingcosana yento engalungile kodwa ungangeni shì kuyo, ukuthi “unganambitha” kodwa ungagwinyi. Labo abazama ukulandela inkambo enjalo ‘baxhugela phakathi kwemibono emibili’—bakhonza uJehova ngezinga elithile bebe bethanda izwe nezinto ezisezweni—futhi bangagubuda kalula ngokomoya. (1 AmaKhosi 18:21; 1 Johane 2:15) Yini ebangela lokho? Ukuthambekela kwethu esonweni.

Izifiso zethu zokungapheleli zithola amandla lapho senza lokho okufunwa yizo. ‘Inhliziyo yethu ekhohlisayo’ ngeke yaneliswe iqashana nje. Iyofuna okwengeziwe. (Jeremiya 17:9) Kuyothi singaqala ukukhukhuleka ngokomoya, izwe bese liba nethonya elikhulayo kithi. (Hebheru 2:1) Ungase ungaboni ukuthi utshekela nxanye ngokomoya, kodwa cishe abazali bakho abangamaKristu bayobona. Yiqiniso, bangase bangasheshi njengawe ukufunda i-program ethile ye-computer, kodwa bazi okuningi kakhulu kunawe ngenhliziyo enhlanhlathayo. Futhi bafuna ukukusiza ukuba “uhole inhliziyo yakho endleleni” engaholela ekuphileni.—IzAga 23:19.

Yebo, ungalindeli ukuba abazali bakho bahlulele ngokungenaphutha lapho kudingeka bakuqondise ezicini eziyinselele, njengomculo, ukuzijabulisa, nokuzilungisa. Abazali bakho bangase bangabi nokuhlakanipha kukaSolomoni noma ukubekezela kukaJobe. Njengomshayeli womkhumbi, ngezinye izikhathi bangase benze iphutha baqaphe ngokweqile. Noma kunjalo, isiqondiso sabo siyokusiza kakhulu uma unaka “isiyalo sikayihlo, ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko.”—IzAga 1:8, 9.

Enye intsha ingase ikhulume kabi ngabazali bayo. Nokho, uma abazali bakho belwela ukulandela imiBhalo, bakusekela kuzo zonke izimo, ngazo zonke izikhathi, kuzo zonke izinsizi. Njengokaputeni womkhumbi ocetshiswa umshayeli ongumakad’ ebona, uyakudinga ukuqondiswa abazali bakho, bakuhole endleleni yokuhlakanipha. Imivuzo ingaba mikhulu kakhulu.

“Lapho ukuhlakanipha kungena enhliziyweni yakho nolwazi luba mnandi emphefumulweni wakho, ikhono lokucabanga liyokuqapha, ukuqonda kuyokulonda, ukuze kukukhulule endleleni embi, kumuntu okhuluma izinto ezonakele, kulabo abazishiyayo izindlela zobuqotho ukuze bahambe ezindleleni zobumnyama . . . Ngoba ngabaqotho abayohlala emhlabeni, futhi ngabangasoleki abayosala kuwo.”—IzAga 2:10-13, 21.

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Ithonya lenye intsha lingakusunduza likukhiphe emzileni ngokomoya

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Khumbula okwenzeka kuDina

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Njengoba nje ukaputeni womkhumbi efuna iseluleko somshayeli ongumakad’ ebona, intsha kufanele ifune isiqondiso sabazali bayo

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