Imibuzo Evela Kubafundi

AmaKristu kufanele asibheke njengesingathi sína kangakanani isethembiso somshado?

Isethembiso somshado siyinto ebangela injabulo, kodwa futhi siyinto engathi sína. Akukho mKristu ovuthiwe okufanele asithathe kalula isethembiso somshado, abe nomuzwa wokuthi angasinqamula noma yinini uma ezwa kuthi akenze kanjalo. Isikhathi sokuthembisana siyisikhathi sokuba futhi abathembisene bazane kangcono ngaphambi kokushada.

Njengoba sixoxa ngale ndaba, kumelwe siqaphele ukuthi izinkambiso eziphathelene nomshado, nezinyathelo eziholela kuwo, zihlukahlukene kakhulu ngokwezindawo nezikhathi. IBhayibheli linezibonelo zalokhu.

Amadodakazi kaLoti amabili, ‘ayengazi ndoda,’ ayethembisene umshado ngandlela-thile namadoda amabili endawo. ‘Abakhwenyana bakaLoti babezothatha amadodakazi akhe,’ kodwa iBhayibheli alisitsheli ukuthi kwakuthenjiswane ngasiphi isizathu noma ngayiphi indlela. Ingabe lawo madodakazi ayengabantu abadala? Ingabe ayezikhethele wona ukuthi azoshada nobani? Ingabe ukuthembisana kwenziwa ngesinyathelo esithile sasobala? Asazi. (Genesise 19:8-14) Siyazi ukuthi uJakobe wazenzela esakhe isivumelwano noyise kaRaheli sokuba ashade noRaheli ngemva kokuba emsebenzele iminyaka eyisikhombisa. Nakuba uJakobe abiza uRaheli ngokuthi “umkami,” ababanga nabuhlobo bobulili phakathi naleyo minyaka. (Genesise 29:18-21) Esinye isibonelo esikaDavide, okwadingeka anqobe amaFilisti ngaphambi kokuba ashade indodakazi kaSawule. Lapho esekwenzile lokhu okwakufunwa nguSawule, uDavide wayesengashada naleyo ndodakazi, uMikhali. (1 Samuweli 18:20-28) Lokho “kuthembisana umshado” kwakungafani futhi akufani nalokho okuvamile emazweni amaningi namuhla.

UMthetho KaMose wawunemithetho ephathelene nomshado nokuthembisana. Ngokwesibonelo, indoda yayingaba namakhosikazi amaningi; yayikwazi ukuthola isehlukaniso ngezizathu ezihlukahlukene, nakuba kubonakala sengathi inkosikazi yona yayingenakukwazi. (Eksodusi 22:16, 17; Duteronomi 24:1-4) Indoda eyengele ebulilini intombi engathembisene namuntu kwakudingeka iyishade uma uyise evuma, futhi yayingenakuhlukanisa nayo. (Duteronomi 22:28, 29) Kuneminye imithetho eyayisebenza kwabashadile, njengalapho kwakufanele kugwenywe khona ubuhlobo bobulili. (Levitikusi 12:2, 5; 15:24; 18:19) Yiziphi iziqondiso ezaziphathelene nezithembiso zomshado?

Owesifazane ongumIsrayeli oyingoduso wayehlukile ngokomthetho kowesifazane ongathenjisiwe; ezicini ezithile wayebhekwa njengoseshadile. (Duteronomi 22:23-29; Mathewu 1:18, 19) Ama-Israyeli ayengenakuthembisana noma ashade nezihlobo ezithile. Ngokuvamile lezi kwakuyizihlobo zozalo, kodwa okunye ukuthembisana nemishado kwakwenqatshelwa ngenxa yamalungelo amafa. (Levitikusi 18:6-20; bheka INqabayokulinda [yesiNgisi] ka-March 15, 1978, amakhasi 25-8.) Kusobala ukuthi izinceku zikaNkulunkulu kwakungafanele zisithathe kalula isithembiso somshado.

Ama-Israyeli ayengaphansi kwazo zonke lezo ziqondiso zoMthetho, kodwa amaKristu awekho ngaphansi kwalowo Mthetho, kuhlanganise neziqondiso zawo eziphathelene nezithembiso zomshado noma umshado. (Roma 7:4, 6; Efesu 2:15; Heberu 8:6, 13) Eqinisweni, uJesu wafundisa ukuthi inkambiso yamaKristu ephathelene nomshado yayihlukile kweyoMthetho. (Mathewu 19:3-9) Noma kunjalo, akazange akululaze ukungathi sína komshado, noma okwesithembiso somshado. Ngakho, kuthiwani ngale ndaba esikhuluma ngayo, ukuthembisana umshado phakathi kwamaKristu?

Emazweni amaningi abantu bayazikhethela umuntu abazoshada naye. Uma nje owesilisa nowesifazane sebethembisene umshado, babhekwa njengasebethembisene (engaged). Ngokuvamile, akube kusadingeka sinyathelo esihleliwe ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi bathembisene.Yiqiniso, kwezinye izindawo kuvamile ukuba indoda ifake ingoduso yayo indandatho ukuze babonise ukuthi bathembisene. Noma, kuvamile ukuba bazise izihlobo nabangane ukuthi bathembisene, bakwenze njengasesidlweni somndeni noma komunye umbuthano omncane. Lokhu kuya ngokuzikhethela kwabo, akuzona izimfuneko ezingokomBhalo. Okuyikona kuthembisana umshado ukuvumelana kwababili.a

UmKristu akufanele aqale ukuthandana nothile, athembisane naye umshado, noma ashade ngokuxhamazela. Sinyathelisa ukwaziswa okusekelwe eBhayibhelini okungasiza abantu abangashadile ukuba banqume ukuthi kuhlakaniphile yini ukuqala ukuthandana nothile noma ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuthembisana noma ukushada.b Isici esibalulekile kulesi seluleko siwukuthi umshado wamaKristu ungowafuthi.—Genesise 2:24; Marku 10:6-9.

AmaKristu amabili kufanele azane kahle ngaphambi kokuba aqale ukucabanga ngokuthembisana umshado. Ngamunye angase azibuze, ‘Ingabe ngiyaqiniseka ngempela ngengokomoya lakhe nokuzinikela kwakhe kuNkulunkulu? Ngiyazibona yini ngeso lengqondo ngikhonza uNkulunkulu naye ukuphila kwami konke? Ingabe siye sazibona ngokwanele izici zobuntu bomunye nomunye wethu? Ngiyaqiniseka yini ukuthi siyohlala sifanelana njalo? Ingabe sazi okwanele mayelana nezenzo ezidlule nezimo zamanje zomunye nomunye wethu?’

Lapho amaKristu amabili esethembisene umshado, kufanelekile ukuba wona kanye nabanye balindele ukuthi azoshada. UJesu wayala: “Izwi lenu elingu-Yebo malisho uYebo, u-Cha wenu, uCha.” (Mathewu 5:37) AmaKristu athembisana umshado kufanele akwenze ngobuqotho. Nokho, ezimweni eziyivelakancane umKristu othembisene nomunye umshado angase athole ukuthi kunokuthile okungathi sína angatshelwanga kona noma afihlelwa kona ngaphambi kokuba bathembisane. Kungase kube yinto ebalulekile ephathelene nalokho okwenzeka komunye esikhathini esidlule, ngisho nezenzo zobugebengu noma ukuziphatha okubi. UmKristu othola lokhu kwaziswa kumelwe anqume ukuthi uzokwenzani. Mhlawumbe bangase baxoxe kabanzi ngale ndaba futhi bavumelane ukuqhubeka bethembisene umshado. Noma, bobabili bangase banqume ukukunqamula ukuthembisana kwabo. Nakuba ukwenza kanjalo kungase kube yindaba yangasese—okuthile abanye okungafanele bagxambukele kukho, bazame ukuqagela izizathu zako, noma behlulele kukho—kuyisinqumo esidinga ukucabanga okunzulu kakhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lowo othola ukwaziswa ngodaba olungathi sína angase azizwe ephoqelekile ukuba akunqamule ukuthembisana, yize lona omunye efuna kuqhubeke.—Bheka esithi “Imibuzo Evela Kubafundi” kuyi-Nqabayokulinda (yesiNgisi) ka-June 15, 1975.

Kunesizathu esihle sokuxazulula izindaba ezinjalo ngaphambi kokungenela umshado. UJesu wathi okuwukuphela kwesizathu esingokomBhalo sokuhlukanisa umshado esikhulula umuntu ukuba aphinde ashade yi-por·neiʹa, ukuziphatha okubi kakhulu ngokobulili komuntu oshade naye. (Mathewu 5:32; 19:9) Akazange athi umshado ongokomthetho ungaqedwa ngesahlukaniso uma umuntu ezwa ngenkinga enkulu noma ukona okwenziwa ngaphambi komshado.

Ngokwesibonelo, osukwini lukaJesu kwakungenzeka impela ukuba umuntu athole uchoko. Uma umyeni ongumJuda ayethola ukuthi umkakhe wayenochoko lapho beshada (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umkakhe wayazi noma cha), ingabe umyeni wayeyoba nesizathu sokwahlukanisa? UmJuda ongaphansi koMthetho wayengahlukanisa ngenxa yalokho, kodwa uJesu akashongo ukuthi lokhu kwakufaneleka kubalandeli bakhe. Cabanga ngezinye zezimo zanamuhla. Indoda enogcunsula (syphillis), i-genital herpes, i-HIV, noma esinye isifo esithathelwanayo esingathi sína ingase ishade ingazange isidalule. Mhlawumbe lesi sifo yasithola ngokuziphatha kabi ngokobulili ngaphambi noma phakathi nesikhathi sokuthembisana umshado. Ukuthola komkayo kamuva ukuthi inalesi sifo noma ukuthi yaziphatha kabi esikhathini esidlule (ngisho nokuthi ayinanzalo noma ayikwazi ukuhlanganyela ubulili) akulishintshi iqiniso lokuthi manje sebeshadile. Into engathandeki eyenzeka esikhathini esidlule ngaphambi komshado ayisona isizathu esingokomBhalo sokuqeda umshado njengoba nje ubungeke waqedwa uma bekuyinkosikazi eyathola isifo esithile noma yafihla ngisho nokuthi ikhuleliswe enye indoda lapho beshada. Manje bashadile futhi bazibophezele komunye nomunye.

Kuyavunywa ukuthi ziyivelakancane izimo ezibuhlungu njengalezi, kodwa lezi zibonelo kufanele zigcizelele nakakhulu iphuzu eliyisisekelo: Isethembiso somshado akufanele sithathwe kalula. Ngaphambi nangemva kokuthembisana umshado, amaKristu kumelwe azame ukwazana kahle. Kufanele athembeke kulokho omunye afuna ukukwazi noma anelungelo lokukwazi. (Kwamanye amazwe umthetho ufuna ukuba abazoshada bahlolwe udokotela ngaphambi kokuba bashade. Abanye bangase bazifunele bona ukuba kwenziwe lokho kuhlolwa.) Ngakho injabulo nokungathi sína kwesethembiso somshado kuyofeza injongo enodumo njengoba laba ababili beqhubekela esimweni esijabulisa nakakhulu nesingathi sína ngokwengeziwe, sokuba abashadile.—IzAga 5:18, 19; Efesu 5:33.

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