Qaphela Ukuqhosha

NAMUHLA abaningi ukuqhosha bakubheka njengemfanelo enhle. Ukugabisa ngamandla, amakhono, nalokho umuntu aye wakufeza sekuyimfashini. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ukuqhosha kubalulekile ekufezeni okuthile. Abanye banomuzwa wokuthi kukhuphula ukuzazisa komuntu. Umagazini i-Time uyaphawula: “Umqondo wesizotha, nakuba ungesona neze isidala, usuqalile ukubonakala njengocishe ube isidala.” Umlobi uJody Gaylin uyaphawula: “Ngeshwa, ukuqhosha okusobala . . . sekuyimfashini yamuva. Ukuxoxa nomngane noma umuntu omejwayele sekuhambisana nento entsha: ukuzitusa.”

Abantu ababhekwa njengezibonelo yibo abamise lendinganiso. Kungenzeka uke wawezwa amazwi alowo owake waba ingqwele esibhakeleni: “Akwenzekanga ngengozi ukuba ngibe umuntu omkhulu kunabo bonke emhlabeni kulesisikhathi somlando.” Amazwi elungu leqembu lomculo okuthiwa iBeatles nawo ayaziwa: “Thina sesidume ukudlula uJesu Kristu manje.” Nakuba abanye babebheka amazwi anjalo ngokuthi ayengaqonde bubi, abanye babheka labo ababewasho njengezibonelo zokuzithuthukisa okufanele zilandelwe.

Ukuvama kokuqhosha kuphakamisa lombuzo: Kulungile yini ukuqhosha ngamakhono nalokho umuntu anakho? Yiqiniso, kungokwemvelo ukuqhayisa ngalokho umuntu akufezile ngisho nokukuhlanganyela nabangane abaseduze nezihlobo. Kodwa kuthiwani ngalabo abaphila ngesisho esithi: “Ziqhenye ngento yakho”? Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuthiwani ngalabo okuthi nakuba bengaqhoshi ngokusobala, baqikelele ngobuhlakani ukuthi abanye bayazi ngamandla abo nangalokho abakufezile? Ingabe ukuzikhangisa okunjalo kulungile, kubalulekile ngisho nokubaluleka, njengoba abanye besho?

Umphumela Ebuhlotsheni Nabanye

Cabangela umphumela ukuqhosha kwabanye okunawo kuwe. Ngokwesibonelo, usabela kanjani kulamazwi alandelayo?

“Izincwadi engingazibhalanga zingcono kabi kunezabanye abantu abazibhalile.”—Umlobi owaziwayo.

“Ukube ngangikhona ngesikhathi sokudala, ngangizoveza amanye amasu anosizo ukuze indawo yonke ihleleke kangconywana.”—Inkosi yasendulo.

“UNkulunkulu akekho, ngoba ukube ukhona, bengingenakukholelwa ukuthi nginguYena.”—Isazi sefilosofi sekhulu le-19.

Ingabe amazwi alababantu akwenza udonseleke kubo? Ucabanga ukuthi ubungakujabulela ukuba nabo? Kungenzeka ukuthi ubungeke. Ngokuvamile, ukuqhosha—ngenhloso noma sakudlala nje—kwenza abanye bazizwe bekhungathekile, becasukile, mhlawumbe benomhawu. Yilomphumela okwaba nawo kumhubi u-Asafa, owavuma: “Ngaba-nomhawu ngabazidlayo.” (IHubo 73:3) Ngokuqinisekile, akekho kithi ofuna ukubangela abangane bethu ukuba bazizwe kabi! Eyoku-1 Korinte 13:4 ithi: “Uthando . . . aluzigabisi.” Uthando lokwesaba uNkulunkulu nokucabangela imizwa yabanye kuyosenza sigweme ukugabisa ngalokho esithi kungamakhono nangalokho esinakho.

Lapho umuntu ezilawula futhi ekhuluma ngesizotha, wenza abanye abaseduze kwakhe bazizwe bekhululekile futhi bezizwa kahle. Yikhono elingenakuqhathaniswa leli. Mhlawumbe isazi sezindaba zombuso saseBrithani uLord Chesterfield wayecabanga ngalokhu lapho eluleka indodana yakhe: “Ubohlakanipha ngaphezu kwabanye abantu uma ukwazi; kodwa ungabatsheli lokho.”

Abantu baneziphiwo ezingafani. Lokho omunye angase akwenze kalula nje omunye angase angabi nawo amandla okukwenza. Uthando luyoshukumisela umuntu ekubeni asebenzelane ngozwela nalabo abangaphiwanga kulowomkhakha anekhono kuwo yena. Cishe omunye umuntu unesiphiwo kweminye imikhakha. Umphostoli uPawulu wasitshela: “Ngomusa engiwuphiweyo ngisho kulowo nalowo phakathi kwenu ukuthi angacabangi athi mkhulu kunalokho afanele ukukucabanga‚ kodwa acabange kube-ngokuqonda‚ njengalokho uNkulunkulu abele lowo nalowo isilinganiso sokukholwa.”—Roma 12:3.

Ukuqhosha Kubangelwa Ubuthakathaka

Nakuba abanye bengase badede kubantu abaqhoshayo, bezizwa bebancane uma benabo, abanye basabela ngendlela ehlukile. Baphetha ngokuthi abaqhoshayo bazizwa bengalondekile. Umlobi uFrank Trippett uyachaza ukuthi kungani umuntu ozitusayo, ngokuhlekisayo, engase ehlise idumela lakhe phambi kwabanye: “Wonke umuntu wazi kahle ukuthi ukuqhosha kusuke kubonisa ubuthakathaka obuthile obudumazayo obufihlakele.” Ngenxa yokuthi abaningi bayakwazi ukuyifunda ivaliwe, akungcono yini ukukuyeka ukuziqhayisa okungenamsebenzi?

“Kodwa Kuyiqiniso!”

Yileyondlela abanye abazama ngayo ukuthethelela ukuzidumisa kwabo. Banomuzwa wokuthi njengoba bephiwe ngempela ezicini ezithile, ukukufihla lokho kungaba ukuzenzisa.

Kodwa ingabe ukuqhosha kwabo kufanele? Indlela ozibona ngayo wena ixhomeke kulokho ocabanga ukuthi uyikho. Lokho esikubheka njengamandla avelele kithi kungase kubonakale kuvamile kwabanye. Iqiniso lokuthi umuntu uzizwa ebophekile ukubukisa ngekhono lakhe kungase kubonise ngisho nokuthi empeleni akaqinile—akaqinile ngokwanele ukuba azimele ngaphandle kokuzikhangisa. IBhayibheli liyakuvuma ukuthambekela kobuntu kokuzikhohlisa lapho linxusa: “Osuka ethi umi‚ akaqaphele ukuba angawi.”—1 Korinte 10:12.

Noma umuntu engaze abe naso isiphiwo esingavamile emkhakheni othile, ingabe lokho sekusho ukuthi makazigabise? Cha, ngenxa yokuthi ukuzigabisa kudumisa umuntu, kanti noma iziphi iziphiwo esinazo zivela kuNkulunkulu. Nguyena okufanele athole udumo. Kungani kufanele sidunyiswe ngokuthile esazalwa nakho? (1 Korinte 4:7) Nangaphandle kwalokho, njengoba sinamandla athile, sinobuthakathaka futhi. Ingabe ukwethembeka kusho ukuba sidonsele ukunakekela emaphutheni nasekushiyekeni kwethu? Bambalwa abantu abaqhoshayo okubonakala sengathi bacabanga kanjalo. INkosi uHerode Agripha I kungenzeka ukuthi yayiyisikhulumi esinekhono ngempela. Kodwa ukuntula kwayo isizotha kwaholela ekufeni okubuhlungu. Lesosenzakalo esisabisayo sibonisa indlela ukuzidla okunyanyeka ngayo kuNkulunkulu, ngokufanayo nakubantu abaningi.—IzEnzo 12:21-23.

Amakhono namandla ngokuvamile kuyaziwa ngaphandle kokuba kukhangiswe ngakho ngokungadingekile. Lapho abanye beqaphela futhi bencoma izimfanelo noma lokho umuntu aye wakufeza, kumgqamisa kakhulu lowomuntu. IzAga 27:2 ngokuhlakanipha zithi: “Makakudumise omunye, kungabi ngumlomo wakho, kube-ngumfokazi, kungabi-yizindebe zakho.”

Kuyadingeka Ukuze Ufeze Okuthile?

Abanye banomuzwa wokuthi ukuzikhangisa kudingekile ukuze ufeze okuthile emphakathini wanamuhla oncintisanayo. Bakhathazeke ngokuthi uma bethula bangakhangisi ngamandla abo, azosala enganakiwe, engaziwa. Amazwi akumagazini i-Vogue abonisa ukukhathazeka kwabo: “Njengoba sake safundiswa ukuthi isizotha siyimfanelo enhle, manje sesifunda ukuthi ukufela phakathi kuyinkinga.”

Kulabo abafuna ukuthuthuka ngokwezindinganiso zalelizwe, lokhu kukhathazeka kungase kube okufanele. Kodwa isimo somKristu sihlukile. Uyazi ukuthi uNkulunkulu unendaba futhi ukhetha ukusebenzisa amakhono alabo abathobekile, hhayi abazigabisayo. Ngakho-ke, umKristu akudingeki ukuba aphendukele ezenzweni zokuqhosha. Yiqiniso, umuntu ozethemba ngokweqile angase athole udumo lwesikhashana ngokuba ngophoqelelayo noma ngokwenza izinto zivumelane nentando yakhe. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uvela obala futhi athotshiswe. Kunjengoba uJesu Kristu asho: “Kepha yilowo nalowo oziphakamisayo uzakuthotshiswa‚ nalowo ozithobayo uzakuphakanyiswa.”—Mathewu 23:12; IzAga 8:13; Luka 9:48.

Izinzuzo Zesizotha

URalph Waldo Emerson wabhala: “Wonke umuntu engihlangana naye mkhulu kunami ngandlela-thile. Ngenxa yalokho, ngifunda okuthile kuye.” Amazwi akhe ayavumelana nokunxusa komphostoli uPawulu okuphefumlelwe ngokwaphezulu kokuthi amaKristu ‘angenzi-lutho ngombango nangodumo lwezwe; kepha ngokuthobeka ashaye sengathi abanye bakhulu kunawo.’ (Filipi 2:3) Lombono onesizotha ubeka umuntu esimweni sokuba afunde kwabanye.

Ngakho qaphela ukuba amandla akho angabi ubuthakathaka bakho. Ungehlisi amakhono akho nalokho oye wakufeza ngokuqhosha. Ezimfanelweni zakho nezela neyesizotha. Yilokhu ngempela okukhuphula isithunzi somuntu phambi kwabanye. Kumsiza ukuba ajabulele ubuhlobo obungcono nabantu akanye nabo futhi kumenze amukelwe uJehova uNkulunkulu.—Mika 6:8; 2 Korinte 10:18.