Indlela Ongabathola Ngayo Abangane Beqiniso

“UMA ufuna ukuba nomngane yiba umngane,” kubhala uEmerson imbongi yaseMelika. Ubungane buyimikhakha emibili ehilela umoya wokupha. Onkom’ idla yodwa nalabo abanezinhloso zobugovu bakuthola kunzima ukuthola abangane beqiniso. Nokho, bangaphumelela, njengoba sizobona.

Ubungane beqiniso bakhela othandweni ngoba uthando lusondeza abantu. Nokho abanye banobunzima ekutholeni abangane. Umuntu angakunqoba kanjani lokhu?

UDale Carnegie weluleka: “Yiba yisilaleli esihle. Khuthaza abanye ukuba bakhulume ngabo siqu.” Lapho abantu abangazani behlangana, mhlawumbe emkhosini wokuzijabulisa, obani abathola abangane? Akubona abakhulumela-futhi kodwa yilabo ababa nesithakazelo esifudumele kwabanye, bebenza bakhulume futhi bebalalela ngempela. Ukukhumbula amagama namaphuzu athakazelisayo ngabantu osanda kubazi nakho kungasiza ekwakheni ubungane.

Kwethi Fundamentals of Interpersonal Communication, uKim Giffin noBobby R. Patton batusa ukuzembula nokwethembeka. Bathi, “Ukuze othile abaluleke kuwe, kumelwe wazi okuthile ngaye okubalulekile kuwe . . . [Yiba] ngokhululekile futhi ukhulume ngokungagodli ngazo zonke izikhathi . . . Ukusabela kwakho komunye umuntu kumelwe kube ngokuqotho.”

Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi abangane beqiniso bathembekile kodwa futhi bayacabangela, abacindezelani noma babe nesikhwele ngokweqile. Bayamqonda omunye nomunye, bangaba nomuzwa wombono womunye umuntu ngezinto, khona-ke bangabonisa uzwela. Njengoba ubuhlobo bukhula, bavulelana izinhliziyo, bangabi nje kuphela abangane beqiniso kodwa futhi abangane abaseduze. Akubona bonke abangane beqiniso abangabangane abaseduze. UJesu Kristu, umuntu onobungane kakhulu kunoma ubani emhlabeni, waba nabangane abaningi, kodwa bambalwa ababengabangane bakhe abaseduze ngempela.—Marku 9:1-10; Luka 8:51.

Incwadi Yobungane Beqiniso

IBhayibheli, okuyincwadi engcono kakhulu ekhuluma ngobungane, lithi: “Umngane uthanda ngezikhathi zonke, nomzalwane uzalwa ekuhluphekeni.” (IzAga 17:17) Abangane beqiniso banozwela futhi bakulungele ukunikeza usizo lapho kuphakama izinkinga. Nasi isibonelo esihle salokhu—indaba yangezinsuku zikaIsrayeli wasendulo.

Ngenxa yendlala, indoda yakwaJuda yathuthela kwaMowabi nomkayo, uNawomi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi yafa. Kamuva, amadodana ayo amabili ashada namantombazane akwaMowabi uRuthe no-Orpa. Khona-ke amadodana afa, eshiya abafelokazi abathathu bodwa. UNawomi, umama, wanquma ukuphindela kwaJuda, futhi omalokazana bakhe ababili bahamba naye. Nokho, endleleni uNawomi wancenga izintombi ukuba ziphindele emuva futhi zizifunele abakhwenyana abasha phakathi kwabantu bakubo. UOrpa wenze njalo, kodwa uRuthe waphikelela ngokuthi uzohamba noNawomi. Ngani? Ngoba wayengokungaphezulu kakhulu kokuba umalokazana; wayewumngane weqiniso futhi. Phakathi kokunye, uzwela lwakhe olungokwemvelo lwalungeke lumvumele ukuba ayeke umfelokazi osegugile, olahlekelwe umkhaya wakhe, ahambe yedwa.—Ruthe 1:1-17.

URuthe wabonisa uzwela lwangempela, umusa, ukwethembeka, nothando. Lezozimfanelo zakhe isisekelo esiqinile sobungane beqiniso. Nokho, kwakukhona esinye isici esasihilelekile ebuhlotsheni bukaRuthe noNawomi.

Ubungane Obusezingeni Eliphakeme

Lapho uNawomi emncenga ukuba aphindele emuva, uRuthe wathi: “Ungangincengi ukuba ngikushiye, . . . ngokuba lapho uyakhona, ngiyakuya khona nami . . . abantu bakho bayakubangabantu bami, uNkulunkulu wakho abe-nguNkulunkulu wami.” (Ruthe 1:16) UNawomi wayemsizile uRuthe, owayekade eyiqaba, ukuba azi futhi athande uNkulunkulu weqiniso, uJehova. Inkolelo yabo efanayo yaba isibopho esinamandla esingokomoya esadonsela abesifazane ababili ndawonye njengabangane beqiniso. Futhi uJehova wababusisa ngomkhaya omusha. Ngesikhathi esifanele, uRuthe washada noBowazi, indoda ecebile eyayingumnini wendawo ethile kwaJuda, futhi waba nendodana ebizwa ngokuthi uObede, eyaba uyisemkhulu weNkosi uDavide.—Ruthe 4:13-22; Mathewu 1:5, 6.

Lesici esingokomoya sibeka ubungane ezingeni eliphakeme. Kanjani? Endabeni kaRuthe noNawomi, bobabili babekhulekela uJehova, “uNkulunkulu ogcwele isihe, onomusa, ophuza ukuthukuthela, novamé ubumnene neqiniso.” (Eksodusi 34:6) “UNkulunkulu uluthando,” futhi uma ngobuqotho simkhulekela ngomoya nangeqiniso, siyaqiniseka ngokuthi siyokhula othandweni lwakhe nasezidalweni esikanye nazo. (1 Johane 4:8; Johane 4:24) Ngakho, siyashintsha. Siba nesithakazelo sobungane kwabanye, ikakhulukazi abantu abathobekileyo, abahluphekayo bazo zonke izinhlanga. Ngakho onkom’ idla yodwa ababi nobugovu. Abantu abanobugovu babonisa ukukhathalela abanye. Siqala ukuveza izithelo zomoya kaNkulunkulu—“uthando, nokujabula, nokuthula, nokubekezela, nobubele, nobuvi, nokukholeka, nobumnene, nokuzithiba.”—Galathiya 5:22, 23.

Lezimfanelo zisisiza ukuba sikwazi ukuthethelela ubuthakathaka namaphutha kwabanye—‘kungabi kasikhombisa kodwa kube kamashumi ayisikhombisa aphindwe kasikhombisa,’ njengoba kwasho uJesu. (Mathewu 18:21, 22) Ubungane obuningi buyehluleka kuleliphuzu. Kodwa uJesu Kristu wakushumayela futhi wakwenza lokhu. Yeka indlela awathethelela kaningi ngayo amaphutha abafundi bakhe abangaphelele, abanamaphutha, kuhlanganise ngisho nokuphika kukaPetru iNkosi okuyihlazo!—Mathewu 26:69-75.

Ngenxa yazo zonke lezinto ezingokomoya, abangane bethu bayanda. Ekugcineni, sithola ukuthi singabomkhaya omkhulu wabangane, emhlabeni wonke! Futhi sithola ukuthi indinganiso evamile yabangane bethu iphakeme kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, uBrian, ongumkhulekeli kaJehova, ukhumbula ukuthi abangane bakuqala bamfaka ekuphuzeni nasekungamnakini umkakhe nabantwana. Kodwa manje uzinikele kakhulu emkhayeni wakhe. Ngokuphathelene nabangane bakhe abaningi abasha abanokholo olufanayo kuJehova, uthi: “Uma nginenkinga, ngiyazi ukuthi ngingathatha ucingo ngishayele noma yimuphi wabo, futhi bayokujabulela ukungisiza.”

UAlan wayenabangane abangxoxo yabo ngokuvamile yayigxile ezimotweni nasemantombazaneni. Kodwa wathola lezozingxoxo “zingakhi” lapho ethola abangane abasha, abathandi bakaJehova akanye naye. Bammangalisa uAlan ‘ngesithakazelo sabo sothando esizenzekelayo, nesiqotho,’ kuye.

Abangane Bethu Abahle Kakhulu

Bonke labantu nezigidi ezengeziwe babumba umkhaya wabangane womhlaba wonke, ongahilelekile kwezombangazwe lowo oweqa imingcele yobuzwe, yohlanga, neyenhlalo—ubuzalwane beqiniso besintu, obufana nsé nobamaKristu okuqala. (3 Johane 14) Sona kanye isibopho esadonsela uRuthe noNawomi ndawonye sihlanganisa lomkhaya futhi, okungukuthi, ukukhulekela kukaJehova uNkulunkulu. Bonke ngokuzithoba nangokubonga bayaqaphela ukuthi uJehova noJesu Kristu bangabangane babo abahle kakhulu.

Ungase uzibuze, ‘Ngibe noNkulunkulu uMninimandla onke neNdodana yakhe njengabangane? Kungenzeka kanjani lokho? Ingabe lokho akukhona ukugabadela?’ Nokho, iBhayibheli lithi: “UAbrahama wakholwa nguNkulunkulu, . . . wabizwa ngokuthi umhlobo [“umngane,” NW] kaNkulunkulu.” Ngempela lokho kwakuwumusa ongafanelekanga. Nokho iZwi likaJehova lithi: “UNkulunkulu umelana nabazidlayo, kepha abathobekileyo ubapha umusa.”—Jakobe 2:23; 4:6.

Mhlawumbe abanye bazizwa benezono kakhulu ukuba babe nelungelo elinjalo. Kodwa uJakobe uyaqhubeka athi: “Sondelani kuNkulunkulu, khona uyakusondela kinina. Hlanzani izandla nina-zoni, nihlambulule izinhliziyo nina-bonhliziyombili. Zithobeni ebusweni beNkosi, khona iyakuniphakamisa.”—Jakobe 4:8, 10.

UJesu wathi: “Ningabahlobo [“ningabangane,” NW] uma nenza lokhu enginiyala ngakho.” Waphawula futhi ukuthi imiyalo emikhulu kunayo yonke ‘iwukuthanda uNkulunkulu ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho, umphefumulo, nengqondo nomakhelwane wakho njengoba uzithanda wena.’ (Johane 15:14; Mathewu 22:37-40) Uma senza lokho, siyoba nabangane beqiniso abaningi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, khona-ke siyofanelekela elinye ilungelo elikhulu—ukuphila okuphakade emhlabeni ohlanziwe ngaphansi koMbuso kaNkulunkulu. (Mathewu 6:9, 10) Njengoba uJesu asho: “Umyalo wakhe [uJehova] ungukuphila okuphakade.”—Johane 12:50.

Ingabe uyobavumela oFakazi BakaJehova ukuba bakusize? Njengabantu abanobungane ngempela, bazimisele ukukuvakashela futhi baxoxe nawe ngalendaba ebalulekile mahhala. Bangakusiza ukuba uthole abangane beqiniso abaningi.

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Iziqondiso Ezithile Ngobungane Beqiniso

Yiba ngokhethayo ngalabo ozihlanganisa nabo.

Yiba nesithakazelo esifudumele kwabanye, futhi ube yisilaleli esihle.

Yenzani izinto ndawonye—okuhlangenwe nakho okuxoxwayo kuqinisa ubungane.

Khuluma ngokungagodli, ngokukhululekile, futhi ube qotho ngazo zonke izikhathi.

Bonisa uzwela nesihe lapho abanye besenkingeni.

Lapho abangane benza amaphutha noma bekucasula, yiba ngokulungele ukuthethelela—kuze “kube-kamashumi ayisikhombisa aphindwe kasikhombisa.”—Mathewu 18:22.

Lapho kukhulunywa kabi ngabangane noma begxekwa ngokungafanele, thembeka futhi ubavikele.

Ukukhonza uJehova okufanayo kubuqinisa ngokungenakulinganiswa ubungane.

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

URuthe wayengenakumshiya uNawomi ngoba ubungane babo babunesisekelo esiqinile esingokomoya. Ingabe unabo abangane beqiniso abanjalo?