Basha—Ingxenye Yenu Emkhayeni Othokozayo, Onobunye

“Ngangiyindodana kubaba, ethambileyo neyodwa emehlweni kamame.”—IZAGA 4:3.

1, 2. Iyiphi inkinga ekhona kwamanye amakhaya amaKristu?

YEKA indlela okuqabula ngayo ukuthulula imicabango yakho kothile okukhathazayo, ozama ukuqonda imizwa yakho, nokunikeza iseluleko sozwela! Futhi uma lowo kungumzali, ubusisiwe ngempela. Kodwa uzizwa useduze kangakanani nabazali bakho?

² Abasha ababili abanabazali abangamaKristu babhala: “Inkinga yethu eyinhloko ukukhulumisana. Kubonakala singaxoxi neze nabazali bethu. Sobabili abazali bethu sibathanda bakhulu impela, kodwa kubonakala singakhulumisani nabo. Ngiye ngathandaza ngokungayeki ngalendaba kodwa angiyitholi impendulo.” Kungani ngezinye izikhathi kunokuntuleka kokuxoxa okunenjongo ngisho nasemakhaya amaKristu? Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuphuma esimweni esinjalo?

Kungani Kunomhosha Wokukhulumisana?

3, 4. Yisho ezinye zezizathu zokuntuleka kokukhulumisana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana.

³ Intsha ecashunwe ngenhla ayivumelananga nabazali bayo ngokukhetha ezokuzijabulisa kanye nabangane. Ukungavumelani, okuhambisana nomuzwa wokuthi umbono wakho awunakwa, kungaqeda ukukhulumisana. Kodwa kungani lokhu kwehlukana kwenzeka? IzAga 20:29 zisikisela esinye isizathu. Zifundeka kanje: “Udumo lwabasha lungamandla abo, nesivunulo sabadala singubumpunga.” Ngenxa yokuthi ayikabikho iminyaka yokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu edambisa “amandla” obusha, nina bantu abasha ningase ningazinaki izingozi nibe nomuzwa wokuthi “ngeke kwenzeke lutho.” Nokho, ngenxa yokuhlakanipha abakuzuze eminyakeni yobudala babo—noma ngisho nangenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu komuntu siqu—abazali benu bazi okwehlukile. Nakuba beyiqonda imizwa yenu, bangase baziqaphele izingozi eziwumshoshaphansi eningaziboni.—IzAga 29:15.

⁴ Ngezinye izikhathi, kungase kube nokuntuleka kokukhulumisana ngoba ukuthola kunzima ukuxoxa ngemizwelo ethile ebuhlungu. Ngenxa yokuxabana nabanye noma ngenxa yamaphutha akho siqu, inhliziyo yakho ingase ibe buhlungu. Ungase usabele njengoJobe, owaba nomuzwa wokuthi ngisho nabafowabo siqu, abantu abajwayele kakhulu, yebo, ngisho nendlu yakhe siqu, iye yamhlubuka. (Jobe 19:13-19) Kwezinye izimo, umhosha uba khona ngoba umzali ‘evala indlebe’ lapho omusha ezama ukuveza imizwa ebucayi. (IzAga 21:13) Enye intombazane eyeve eshumini elinambili yakhononda: “Ngangizwa ubuhlungu obukhulu, ngangikhala kakhulu futhi ubaba wayethi, ‘Ukukhala ngeke kusize,’ ngakho imizwa yami ngayivalela ngaphakathi. Ngangingakhali lapho eseduze, futhi sasingakhulumisani.”

5. Isiphi isinyathelo sokuqala ekuthuthukiseni ukukhulumisana okuhle?

⁵ Nokho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isimo sengqondo sabazali bakho, kunokuningi wena ongakwenza ukuze uthuthukise ukukhulumisana! Qala ngokuhlola ngokwethembeka ubuhlobo bakho nabazali bakho. Ngokwesibonelo, isizwe sakwaIsrayeli sasizisholo ukuthi siseduze noYise wasezulwini, sithi: “Baba, wena ungumngane [“wesifuba,” NW] wobusha bami.” Kodwa eqinisweni, kwakunobuhlobo obungebuhle ngenxa yezenzo zokuhlubuka. (Jeremiya 3:4, 5) Ingabe abazali bakho ngempela ‘bangabangane besifuba’? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ubuwenza izinto, ngisho noma ungahlosile, ezivimbela ukukhulumisana? Ingabe ungasho njengoSolomoni: “Ngabonakala ngiyindodana yangempela kubaba [nakumama]”? (IzAga 4:3, NW) Yini ongayenza ukuze usondele eduze nabo?

“Umusa Neqiniso”

6. (a) NgokwezAga 3:3, yiziphi izimfanelo eziyosiza omusha ‘athole umusa kuNkulunkulu nakubantu’? (b) Umuntu ‘angazibophela kanjani lezi entanyeni yakhe’?

⁶ INkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yacabangela lokho omusha ayekudinga ukuze ‘athole umusa nodumo oluhle emehlweni kaNkulunkulu nabantu [kuhlanganise nabazali bomuntu].’ Yaphendula kanjani? “Ndodana yami, . . . isihe [“umusa,” NW] neqiniso makungakushiyi; kubopha entanyeni yakho, ukulobe esibhebheni senhliziyo yakho.” (IzAga 3:1-4) Umusa neqiniso kuyokusondeza eduze nabazali bakho. Kodwa lezimfanelo kumelwe zibe yingxenye yobuntu bakho, ‘kuboshwe entanyeni yakho futhi kulotshwe enhliziyweni yakho.’ Ngokuvamile, ezikhathini zeBhayibheli, indandatho enophawu yayilengiswa ngentambo entanyeni. (Genesise 38:18) Lendandatho yayiyigugu ngoba ngaphandle kokuyisebenzisa, akukho ncwadi eyayingaqashelwa. Owayefake leyondandatho wayengalokothi ayikhohlwe futhi wayekhunjuzwa njalo ngokubaluleka kwayo okukhulu. Ngakho umusa neqiniso kumelwe kukhunjulwe njalo futhi ukubaluleka kwakho kungalokothi kukhohlakale. Kodwa ungazibonisa kanjani lezimfanelo?

7. Umusa ungaboniswa kanjani ukuze kuthuthukiswe ukukhulumisana?

⁷ “Umusa,” ngokomqondo wegama lesiHeberu sakuqala, usho “uthando oluqotho” futhi usho ukuzinikela komuntu siqu ebuhlotsheni. Ngakho ingabe uqotho kubazali bakho futhi uzinikele ekuzigcineni useduze nabo ngokomzwelo? KuZakariya 7:9, 10, umusa uhlanganiswe nobubele nozwela. Ingabe unozwela ngokuqondene nokucindezeleka abazali bakho ababhekene nakho? Umusa wabanye abantu “unjengefu lokusa nanjengamazolo amuka ekuseni.” (Hoseya 6:4) Ingabe umusa wakho uyanyamalala lapho kunempikiswano enkulu noma lapho ungakutholi okufunayo? Lapho ucasukile, ingabe ugcina ‘umthetho womusa usolimini lwakho’? Ubuqotho nozwela kubalulekile ekukhulumisaneni.—IzAga 31:26.

8. Omusha angalibonisa kanjani iqiniso?

⁸ “Iqiniso” lidala ubungane, njengoba ukwethembeka kubalulekile kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Ungafani “nabantu bamanga” ababefihla uhlobo lwabantu ababeyilo. (IHubo 26:4) Ngamanye amazwi, ungalingelwa ukuphila ukuphila okubili—okunye lapho unabazali bakho abangamaKristu nokunye lapho bengekho. Inkambo enjalo ingaholela ekudumazekeni, ikakhulukazi lapho ubhekene nenkinga engathi sína futhi ungenakukwazi ukuyisingatha ngokwakho. Futhi, cabanga ngokuphela kokwethenjwa lapho amanga esedalulekile. Omunye umKristu osemusha wathi: “Abazali bethu bazi okungaphezu kwalokho engicabanga ukuthi bayakwazi. Uma ngizama ukubafihlela okuthile, ngisuke ngizikhohlisa nje futhi ngizama ukukhohlisa uJehova.” Yebo, zimisele ukuhlakulela ukuba neqiniso kwangaphakathi. Kodwa ingabe ukubonisa iqiniso kumane nje kuwukugwema izinkulumo nezenzo ‘ezihlanekezelwe’?—IzAga 4:20, 24; 10:9.

‘Khuluma Ngokusuka Enhliziyweni’

9. Iyiphi inkinga abasha ababili abayinqoba, futhi waba yini imiphumela?

⁹ Abanye abasha abayivezi ngokwethembeka imizwa yabo kubazali babo. Ngokwesibonelo, omunye wabasha okukhulunywe ngabo esigabeni 2 wavuma: “Ukuze sigcine ukuthula, saqala ukusho lokho esasazi ukuthi abazali bethu babefuna ukukuzwa, kodwa imizwa yethu engokoqobo sayivalela ngaphakathi.” Lentsha yafuna usizo. Umdala wayikhuthaza ukuba iye kubazali bayo futhi ilingise uElihu osemusha, owathi: “Ngikhuluma ngokusuka enhliziyweni.” (Jobe 33:3, Beck) Ngemva kokuthandaza ngentshiseko, ekugcineni yavulela abazali bayo izinhliziyo zayo, yachaza imizwa yayo ebuhlungu. (Qhathanisa nezAga 12:18.) Nakuba ashaqeka ngokwazi ukuthi abantwana bakhe babezizwa ngaleyondlela, ubaba wavuma kubo ukuthi wayeqisile. Wajabula ngokuthi bakhuluma. Indodakazi yaphetha: “Kancane kancane, kodwa ngokuqinisekile, isimo somkhaya wethu siya siba ngcono. Lapho siqala ukuxoxa ngokukhululeke ngokwengeziwe, kulapho sasingabona izizathu zemithetho yabo. Bayeka ukukhuluma nathi ngokunganaki njengokungathi sasiyizingane. Saqala ukwazana kangcono kakhulu.”

10, 11. (a) NgokwezAga 27:19, yini enganezela ekuthokozeni komkhaya wamaKristu? (b) Abasha bangalisebenzisa kanjani lelivesi?

¹⁰ Ukuxoxa nabazali bakho kwakha ukukhulumisana ngenhliziyo. Lapho ukhuluma ngendlela ethobekile, yenhlonipho, abazali bakho bangakuqonda okusenhliziyweni yakho. (IzAga 29:11) Nawe uyazibona izimfanelo ezisezinhliziyweni zabo. Lokhu kuxoxa okungagungciyo nokunozwela kukusiza ukuba uyazi kangcono inhliziyo yakho siqu. IzAga 27:19 zithi: “Njengasemanzini ubuso bubhekana nobuso injalo inhliziyo yomuntu kumuntu.”a Njengoba nje ubona ubuso bakho edanyini lamanzi amile, kanjalo ngokukhulumisana ngenhliziyo nabazali bakho ungabona ukuthi imizwelo nezisusa zabo azihlukile kakhulu kwezakho. Lokhu kuxoxa kwakha ukwazana nokunakekelana, okubalulekile emkhayeni othokozayo.

¹¹ Ngakho zimisele ukuxoxa nabazali bakho ngisho nangezindaba ezibuhlungu. Bonisa ukwesaba kwakho nokwehluleka kanye nezinjabulo zakho nokuphumelela. Xoxa ngemigomo yakho ekuphileni nemithandazo yakho. Vimbela isisusa ‘sokuzehlukanisa.’ (IzAga 18:1) Zama njalo ukuba nesikhathi esithile ninobabili nomzali, ukuze nikwazi ukuthululelana izifuba. Abanye abantu abasha baye bathola ukuthi lokhu bangakwenza lapho besebenza nomzali emsebenzini wokushumayela, lapho behamba ngezinyawo amabanga amade ndawonye, noma ngisho nalapho benza uhlobo oluthile lokuzilibazisa komkhaya.

12. Imaphi amaqiniso abasha okumelwe babhekane nawo?

¹² Nakuba ngokuvamile imizamo yakho yokuhlakulela ukukhulumisana okuhle iyoba nemiphumela emihle, wena nabazali bakho aniphelele. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bangase bangenzi ngokulunga, bangayicabangeli imizwa yabanye, noma bahluleke ukubeka isibonelo esifanele. Kungenzeka ngisho nokuthi abakholwa futhi bangase bangasebenzelani nawe ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokwezimiso zeBhayibheli. Abanye benu bangase baphile ekhaya elinomzali oyedwa noma emkhayeni wokutholwa, kokubili okunokucindezeleka okungavamile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi useduze kangakanani nabazali bakho, ngezinye izikhathi uyozizwa ushiywe wedwa ngokomzwelo. Kungakhuthazelelwa kanjani ngokwethembeka ukuhlupheka okunjalo?

Funda ‘Ukuthwala Ijoka Lapho Usemusha’

13. Kungani amazwi kaJeremiya kuSililo 3:27 ebonakala engajwayelekile?

¹³ Lapho ethunywa uJehova, umprofethi uJeremiya wakhala: “Angikwazi ukukhuluma, ngokuba ngingumntwana!” Kodwa uJehova wamqinisa. Ngenxa yokuhlupheka kwakhe, ukwesaba, nokudumazeka ngezinye izikhathi wayecabanga ukuyeka, futhi wake wathi: “Maluqalekiswe usuku engazalwa ngalo.” (Jeremiya 1:6, 19; 20:7-9, 11, 14) Kamuva, wabhala: “Kuhle kumuntu ukuba athwale ijoka ebusheni bakhe.” (Isililo 3:27) Kodwa ukuthwala ijoka lenhlupheko kungabhekwa kanjani njengokuyinzuzo? Isibonelo sikaJosefa sikubonisa kahle lokhu.

14, 15. (a) Kwaba yini okuhlangenwe nakho kukaJosefa njengomusha? (b) Kukanjani ‘iZwi likaJehova lamlolonga’?

¹⁴ Lapho eneminyaka eyi-17, uJosefa wathola ngephupho isithembiso saphezulu sokuthi wayeyoba nesikhundla esiphakeme. Kodwa, maye, abafowabo abanomona bamthengisa ebugqilini! Wagcina eseseGibithe futhi kamuva waboshwa ngamaketanga etilongweni ngecala elingamanga lokuzama ukudlwengula. (Genesise 37:2, 4-11, 28; 39:20) Lona osemusha oyisibonelo noyindlalifa yesithembiso esikhazimulayo wavalelwa ezindongeni ezesabekayo zomgodi wetilongo. Njengomfokazi kwelinye izwe, wayengenaye umngane owayengazwelana naye noma amsize.

¹⁵ “Balimaza izinyawo zakhe [zikaJosefa] ngamaketanga, waboshwa ngensimbi. Kwaze kwaba-yisikhathi elagcwaliseka ngaso izwi lakhe, izwi likaJehova lamhola [“lamlolonga,” NW].” (IHubo 105:17-19) UJosefa wahlupheka iminyaka eyi-13 njengesigqila nesiboshwa kwaze kwaba yilapho isithembiso sikaJehova sigcwaliseka. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kwamlolonga. Nakuba uJehova engazibangeli izinkathazo, wazivumela ngenxa yenjongo ethile. Ingabe uJosefa wayeyolondoloza ithemba lakhe ‘eZwini likaJehova’ naphezu kokuhlupheka kanzima? Ingabe wayeyokwenza izimfanelo zakhe ezinhle zivuthwe, futhi ahlakulele ukubekezela okudingekile, ukuzithoba, ukuqina ngokomoya, nokuzimisela ukusingatha isabelo esinzima? Nokho, uJosefa waphuma njengegolide emlilweni womhlanzi—ehlanzekile futhi eyigugu ngisho nangokwengeziwe kuNkulunkulu, owamsebenzisa ngokumangalisayo ngemva kwalokho.—Genesise 41:14, 38-41, 46; 42:6, 9.

16. Omusha kumelwe akubheke kanjani ukuhlupheka?

¹⁶ Bobabili uJosefa noJeremiya abahluphekanga ngenxa yephutha labo siqu. Base bezihlakulele kakade izimfanelo zokwesaba uNkulunkulu. Nokho, balolongwa ngisho nangokwengeziwe njengoba babhekana nokuhlupheka. Yeka indlela okudingeka ngayo ngokwengeziwe ukulolongwa okunjalo kwabasha abaye bona! Iseluleko, okungase kube nzima ukusithatha, siveza ukulunga uma uqeqeshwe ngaso. (Heberu 12:5-7, 11) Lokhu kuqeqeshwa kungaveza amandla angaphakathi njengensimbi eshisiwe. Njengoba “uJehova wayenaye uJosefa, wamupha umusa,” kanjalo uyokunikeza amandla angaphezu kwavamile futhi akuvuze ngokucebile ukukhuthazela kwakho.—Genesise 39:21; 2 Korinte 4:7.

17. Imuphi umphumela ukuhlupheka okwaba nawo kwenye intombazane esencane? Yini oyifundayo kulokhu?

¹⁷ Ngokwesibonelo, intombazane esencane esingayise wayo wayebonakala enesandla esiqine ngokweqile futhi engayicabangeli imizwa yayo ngokufa kukayise othandekayo yacabanga ngokubaleka. Iqaphela ukuthi lokhu kwakuyomane kubangele izinkinga ezengeziwe, yahlala—futhi yakhuthazela. Manje, cishe eminyakeni eyi-13 kamuva, iyaphetha: “Iseluleko sikasingababa sangenza umuntu ongcono. Lapho ngihlala nomama kuphela, ngangonakala futhi ngingafuni ukulawulwa. Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngangifuna ukuba izinto zenziwe ngendlela yami. Ngafunda ukucabangela abanye. UJehova futhi waphendula imithandazo yami eminingi ecela amandla ekukhohlwa ukufa kukababa futhi ngisondele ngokwengeziwe kusingababa.” Yebo, ukufunda ukuphila nobunzima kuyokusondeza eduze noJehova. Kanjalo angaba nguMngane wakho, ‘ithemba lakho kwasebusheni bakho.’—IHubo 71:5.

18. (a) Yini eyonquma ukuthi kuyoba njani ukuphila komusha? (b) Kungani abasha kumelwe baphathe abazali babo njengabayigugu?

¹⁸ Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi isimo sekhaya lakini sisodwa asibonisi ubuntu bakho noma ukuthi kuyoba njani ukuphila kwakho. Kunalokho, “umntwana uyaziwa ngezenzo zakhe, uma isenzo sakhe sihlanzekile, noma siqotho.” (IzAga 20:11) Izenzo zakho eziqotho ziyokwenza uthandeke kuNkulunkulu futhi zenze ukuphila kwakho kube nenjongo. Awukho umkhaya ophelele, kodwa bheka izimfanelo ezinhle ekhaya lakini. Cabanga ngokuzidela abazali bakho abaye bakwenza ukuze bakulungiselele ukudla, izingubo, indawo yokuhlala, izidingo zezokwelapha, nokunye. Kunokuba ubabuyisele ngokungabongi, “yazisa uyihlo nonyoko.” Baphathe njengabayigugu, abanenani eliphakeme.—Efesu 6:1-3; IzAga 16:20; 17:13.

19. Imiphi imivuzo evela ekulaleleni komuntu abazali bakhe ngokusuka enhliziyweni?

¹⁹ Ukuxoxa okunenjongo nabazali bakho kuyojulisa uthando lwakho ngabo. Khona-ke ukulalela kuyosuka enhliziyweni. “Ndodana [noma, ndodakazi] yami, ungakhohlwa umthetho wami, kepha inhliziyo yakho mayigcine imiyalo yami,” kunxusa ubaba ohlakaniphile, okuthi ngemva kwalokho aveze imivuzo, “ngokuba iyakwenezela kuwe ubude bezinsuku, neminyaka yokuphila, nokuthula.”—IzAga 3:1, 2.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

Uyakhumbula?

◻ Yini engabangela umhosha wokukhulumisana?

◻ Omusha angawubonisa kanjani umusa?

◻ Kungaziphi izindlela iqiniso liyothuthukisa ukukhulumisana komkhaya?

◻ Kuyofezani komusha ukuthwala ijoka lokuhlupheka?

[Isithombe ekhasini 18]

Njengoba ijoka lokuhlupheka labulolonga ubuntu bukaJosefa, kanjalo ukukhuthazelela ubunzima njengomusha kuyobulolonga ubuntu bakho