ISAHLUKO 5

Ngingabhekana Kanjani Nokushada Komzali Wami Okwesibili?

KUNGENZEKA umzali wakho ujabule ufile ngosuku lomshado wakhe wesibili. Kodwa wena kungenzeka awujabule neze! Ngani? Ukushada komzali okwesibili kuqeda ithemba lokuthi abazali bakho bayoke baphinde babuyelane. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kungaba buhlungu nakakhulu uma eshada ngokushesha ngemva kokushona komzali wakho omthandayo.

Wazizwa kanjani lapho umzali wakho eshada okwesibili? Faka u-✔ eceleni kwendlela owazizwa ngayo.

Ngazizwa . . .

□ Ngijabule

□ Ngingalondekile

□ Ngilahliwe

□ Nginomona ngosingamzali wami

□ Nginecala kumzali wami wokuqala ngoba ngaqala ukumthanda usingamzali wami

Lo muzwa wokugcina ungase ubangelwe isifiso sokuba qotho kumzali ongasekho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ikuphi, imizwa eboniswe ngenhla ingakwenza uveze ubuhlungu obuzwayo ngezindlela ezilimazayo.

Ngokwesibonelo, ungalokhu umhlupha usingamzali wakho. Ungase uzame ngisho nokumxabanisa nomzali wakho ngoba ufuna bahlukane. Nokho, isaga esihlakaniphile siyaxwayisa: “Oletha ukuxabana emkhayeni wakubo uyozuza umoya kuphela”—okuwukuthi, ngeke azuze lutho. (IzAga 11:29, New International Version) Akudingeki uwele kulolo gibe. Ungabhekana ngokuphumelelayo nemizwelo ebuhlungu. Cabanga ngezibonelo ezimbalwa.

Inselele Yokuqala: Ukuthobela Igunya Likasingamzali

Ukuthobela igunya lomzali omusha akulula. Lapho ekucela ukuba wenze okuthile, ungase ulingeke ukuba uphahluke uthi, ‘Awuyena umama noma ubaba wami wangempela!’ Amazwi anjalo angase akwanelise okwesikhashana, kodwa abonisa ukungavuthwa.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthobela igunya likasingamzali kungenye yezindlela zokubonisa ukuthi uyasilalela iseluleko seBhayibheli esithi ‘khula ekucabangeni kwakho.’ (1 Korinte 14:20, The Holy Bible in the Language of Today, kaWilliam Beck) Ngempela, usingamzali wakho ufeza indima yomzali wangempela futhi kufanele umhloniphe.—IzAga 1:8; Efesu 6:1-4.

Ngokuvamile isiyalo sikasingamzali sibonisa ukuthi uyakuthanda futhi uyakukhathalela. (IzAga 13:24) UYvonne oneminyaka engu-18 uthi, “Usingababa uyasiyala futhi yilokho obaba okufanele bakwenze. Ngicabanga ukuthi uma ngingamlaleli ngiyobe ngisho ukuthi anginandaba nokuthi uye wasinakekela ngokwenyama nangokomoya yonke le minyaka. Futhi lokho bekungaba ukungabi nakwazisa.”

Noma kunjalo, ungase ube nezizathu ezizwakalayo zokukhalaza. Uma kunjalo, zibonise ukuthi ‘ukhulile’ ngokwenza njengoba sinxuswa kweyabaseKolose 3:13: “Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma umuntu enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye.”

Ngezansi, bhala izimfanelo ezinhle ezimbili noma ngaphezulu zikasingamzali wakho.

․․․․․

Ukukhumbula izimfanelo ezinhle zikasingamzali wakho kungakusiza kanjani ukuba umhloniphe nakakhulu?

․․․․․

Inselele Yesibili: Ukufunda Ukuhlanganyela Izinto Nabanye Nokuzivumelanisa Nezimo

“Ubaba waphinde washada izikhathi ezimbili,” kukhumbula u-Aaron oneminyaka engu-24. “Kwakunzima ukujwayelana nelungu ngalinye elisha lomkhaya. Kwaqale kwaba nzima ukuba sijwayelane, kodwa ngatshelwa ukuthi kumelwe nakanjani ngibathande. Kwangixaka nje lokho.”

Nawe ungabhekana nezinselele ezinzima. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ulahlekelwe ilungelo lokuba izibulo noma uzinyobulala. Uma ungumfana, kungenzeka besekuyisikhathi eside ufana nenhloko ekhaya—manje usingababa uyena oseyinhloko. Noma ungase ukuqonde okushiwo uYvonne. Uthi, “Ubaba wayengachithi isikhathi esiningi nomama, ngakho ngangihlale nginomama ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa lapho eshada okwesibili, usingababa wayehlale enaye njalo. Babehlale bendawonye bexoxa, futhi kwaba sengathi ungiphuca yena. Nokho, ekugcineni ngakwazi ukuzivumelanisa nezimo.”

NjengoYvonne, ungazivumelanisa kanjani nezimo? IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukucabangela kwenu makwaziwe yibo bonke abantu.” (Filipi 4:5) Igama lokuqala elihunyushwe ngokuthi “ukucabangela” lalisho “ukuhoxa” futhi laliveza isimo sengqondo somuntu ongalweli ngenkani amalungelo akhe angokomthetho. Ungasisebenzisa kanjani lesi seluleko? (1) Gwema ukubalisa. (UmShumayeli 7:10) (2) Zimisele ukuhlanganyela izinto nosingamzali wakho, abafowenu nodadewenu bokutholwa. (1 Thimothewu 6:18) (3) Ungabaphathi njengabantu bangaphandle.

Yisiphi isici kwezingenhla okudingeka usebenzele kakhulu kuso? ․․․․․

Inselele Yesithathu: Ukubhekana Nokukhetha

“Usingababa wayethanda izingane zakhe ukudlula mina nodadewethu,” kusho uTara. “Wayezithengela noma ikuphi ukudla ezikuthandayo futhi aqashe ama-video ezazifuna ukuwabukela. Wayenza noma yini ukuze ajabulise zona.” Kubuhlungu ukuphathwa kanjalo. Yini engakusiza? Zama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani indlela usingamzali azizwa ngayo ngengane yokutholwa ingase ingafani nazizwa ngayo ngengane ayizalayo. Kungenzeka akubangelwa ukuthi ingane yakhe iyigazi lakhe kodwa ukuthi bebelokhu bewa bevuka nayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, cishe nawe uzizwa usondelene kakhulu nomzali wakho kunosingamzali.

Nokho, kunomehluko obalulekile phakathi kokuphathwa ngendlela efanayo nokungakhethi. Abantu banobuntu obungafani nezidingo ezingafani. Ngakho kunokuba ukhathazeke ngokweqile ngokuthi usingamzali wakho uniphatha ngendlela efanayo yini noma cha, zama ukubona ukuthi uyakulwela yini ukwanelisa izidingo zakho.

Yiziphi izidingo zakho usingamzali azinakekelayo?

․․․․․

Yiziphi izidingo ocabanga ukuthi akazinakekeli?

․․․․․

Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ezinye zezidingo zakho akazinakekeli, kunganjani uxoxe ngazo ngenhlonipho nosingamzali wakho?

Ukubekezela Kunomvuzo!

Ngokuvamile, kudingeka kudlule isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba nithembane kuze kube seqophelweni lokuba amalungu emikhaya yomibili azwane. Kulapho kuphela lapho imikhuba nezimiso ezingafani kungase kuhlangane khona, kube nokubambisana. Ngakho bekezela! Ungalindeli ukuthi uzovele uthandwe zisuka nje noma ukuthi izinto ziyosheshe zihambe kahle.

Lapho unina eshada okwesibili, uThomas wayekhathazeke kakhulu. Umama wakhe wayenezingane ezine, usingayise enezintathu. “Sasilwa, siphikisane, sixabane, siphathane kabi kakhulu,” kubhala uThomas. Kwagcina kwenzekeni? “Ngokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli, izinto zalunga.”

UMBHALO OYINHLOKO

“Kungcono ukuphela kwendaba kamuva kunokuqala kwayo. Ungcono obekezelayo kunomuntu onomoya ozidlayo.”—UmShumayeli 7:8.

ICEBISO

Ukuhlala nezingane zobulili obuhlukile ongazijwayele kungaba isilingo ekuziphatheni kwakho. Ngakho qapha ukuba ungabanjwa izifiso zobulili, uqiniseke nokuthi ukugqoka nokuziphatha kwakho akuvusi inkanuko yobulili.

UBUWAZI . . . ?

Izingane zakini zokutholwa nazo kungenzeka zikuthola kunzima ukuba semkhayeni omusha.

ENGIZOKWENZA!

Ngizozama ukumhlonipha nakakhulu usingamzali wami ngokukhumbula lezi zinto ezinhle azenzele umkhaya (bhala izinto ezimbili ezinhle): ․․․․․

Uma abantwana bakithi bokutholwa benganginaki, ngingasebenzisa isimiso esikweyabaseRoma 12:21 ngokwenza okulandelayo: ․․․․․

Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali noma usingamzali wami ngale ndaba ․․․․․

UCABANGANI?

● Yini engase ikhathaze usingamzali noma izingane zakini zokutholwa ngokuhlangana nomkhaya wakini?

● Kungani kubalulekile ukuba nombono obanzi ngobuhlobo obusha bomkhaya enibakhayo?

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 38]

“Umshado wesibili kamama waphela ngesehlukaniso. Kodwa sisasondelene kakhulu nabantwana bakithi bokutholwa. Ukuhlala nabo kwakungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ekuphileni kwami.”—UTara

[Isithombe ekhasini 39]

Ukuhlanganisa imikhaya emibili kufana nokuxova usimende namanzi—kuthatha isikhathi futhi kudinga usebenze kanzima, kodwa umphumela uba isakhiwo esiqinile