Ukuqinela Abanye—Ezinye Zezimbangela Nemiphumela

YINI eyenza ingane ukuba iqale ukuqinela ezinye izingane? Uma wake waqinelwa ngothile, kungenzeka ulingekele ukuba uthi, “Angikhathali ukuthi singaba yini isizathu! Umkhuba onjalo awuthetheleleki.” Mhlawumbe uqinisile. Kodwa kunomahluko omkhulu phakathi kokuqonda isizathu sesenzo esithile nokusithethelela. Izizathu ezibangela ingane ethile ukuba iqinele ezinye aziwuthetheleli lowo mkhuba omubi, kodwa zingase zisisize ukuba siwuqonde. Futhi lokho kuqonda kungaba yinzuzo ngempela. Kanjani?

Isaga sasendulo sithi: “Ukuqondisisa komuntu ngokuqinisekile kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe.” (IzAga 19:11) Ukuthukuthelela isenzo somuntu okuqinelayo kungasiphumputhekisa, kusenze sikhungatheke futhi sigcwale ngisho nenzondo. Kodwa ukusiqonda isenzo sakhe kungasiza ekubohliseni intukuthelo yethu. Lokho-ke kungasenza sibheke izinto ngeso elibanzi lapho sifuna amakhambi. Ngakho masicabangele ezinye izimbangela zalo mkhuba ongamukeleki.

Kubangelwa Yini Ukuqinela Abanye?

Ezimweni eziningi iminyaka yokwakheka kobuntu balo muntu oqinela abanye isuke yonakaliswe yisibonelo esibi sabazali noma ukunganakwa ngokuphelele. Iningi labantu abaqinela abanye livela emakhaya anabazali abangalubonisi uthando lwabo noma abangenandaba, noma empeleni, abaye bafundisa izingane zabo ukuba zisebenzise ulaka nobudlova ukuze zixazulule izinkinga. Izingane ezikhulele kuleso simo zingase zingakubheki ukuhlasela kwazo ezinye izingane ngamazwi noma ngezikhwepha njengokuziqinela; zingase zicabange ngisho nokuthi isenzo sazo siyamukeleka, zingaboni lutho olonakele.

Enye intombazane eneminyaka engu-16 eyayiye yahlukunyezwa usingayise ekhaya kanti nasesikoleni yayiqinelwa ngabanye abafundi ithi lapho ifunda ibanga lesihlanu nayo yaqala ukuqinela ezinye izingane. Iyavuma: “Ngokuyinhloko kwakudalwa yintukuthelo eyayinqwabelana ngaphakathi kimi; ngangidumba noma ubani ngokungakhathali. Ukuzwa ubuhlungu kunethonya elikhulu. Lapho ubuzwa, ufuna ukubukhiphela komunye.” Nakuba ulaka olunjalo lungavamile emantombazaneni aqinela abanye, intukuthelo elubangelayo yona ivamile.a

Izikole eziningi zihlanganisa inani elikhulu labafundi abavela ezizindeni ezingafani, abaye bakhuliswa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene kakhulu. Ngokudabukisayo, ezinye izingane ziba nolaka ngoba ziye zafundiswa emakhaya ukuthi ukwesabisa abanye nokubathuka kuyizindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuthola ezikufunayo.

Kuyishwa ukuthi ngokuvamile kubonakala zisebenza lezo zindlela. UShelley Hymel, oyiphini lomqondisi wezemfundo e-University of British Columbia, eCanada, sekungamashumi amabili eminyaka efunda ngokuziphatha kwezingane. Uthi: “Sinezingane ezifuna amasu okuthola ezikufunayo, futhi ngeshwa ukuqinela ezinye kuyasebenza. Ziyakuthola ezikufunayo—ziba namandla, zithole udumo nokunakwa.”

Esinye isici esisiza umkhuba wokuqinela abanye ukuba uchume ukuntuleka kwesiqondiso. Iningi labaqinelwayo linomuzwa wokuthi akukho ndawo lapho lingaluthola khona usizo—okubuhlungu ukuthi ezimweni eziningi kusuke kunjalo vele. UDebra Pepler, umqondisi weLaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution eYork University eToronto, watadisha izingane emagcekeni esikole wathola ukuthi othisha babona amaphesenti amane kuphela ezenzakalo zokuqinela.

Yize kunjalo, uDkt. Pepler ukholelwa ukuthi kubalulekile ukungenela. Uthi: “Izingane azikwazi ukuyixazulula le nkinga ngoba ihilela amandla, isikhathi ngasinye lapho ingane eqinela ezinye idumba othile, isebenzisa izikhwepha.”

Pho-ke, kungani izenzakalo eziningi zokuqinelwa zingabikwa? Yingoba labo abaqinelwayo bakholelwa ngokuqinile ukuthi uma bengase bayibike le nkinga, izomane ishube nje kuphela. Ngakho, ngokwezinga elithile intsha eningi ichitha iminyaka yayo yesikole inokukhathazeka nokungalondeki okungapheli. Iba yini imiphumela yokuphila ngaleyo ndlela?

Imiphumela Engokomzimba Nengokomzwelo

Umbiko ovela kuyi-National Association of School Psychologists e-United States uthi nsuku zonke izingane ezingaphezu kuka-160 000 ziyalova esikoleni ngoba zesaba ukuqinelwa. Izingane eziqinelwayo zingase ziyeke ukuxoxa ngesikole noma ngezifundo ezithile noma umsebenzi owenziwa esikoleni. Zingase zizame ukufika esikoleni sekwephuzile nsuku zonke noma zilahlekelwe yizifundo ezithile noma zibeke ngisho nezaba zokungayi nhlobo esikoleni.

Ungazibona kanjani izingane eziqinelwayo? Zingase zibe neconsi, zisheshe ukuhluthuka, zikhungatheke, noma zibonakale zibhocobele futhi zibe ngonkom’ idla yodwa. Zingase zibe nolaka kwabasekhaya noma kontanga nabangane. Nabantu abangenacala ababonayo lapho abanye beqinelwa nabo bayalimala. Lesi simo sibenza besabe kakhulu, okuyinto eliphazamisayo ikhono labo lokufunda.

Nokho, iphephabhuku i-Pediatrics in Review lithi: “Umphumela omubi nakakhulu wokuqinelwa kulabo abaqinelwayo nasemphakathini ubudlova, kuhlanganise nokuzibulala nokubulala abanye. Umuzwa wokungabi namandla ezinye izingane eziqinelwayo eziba nawo ungaba mkhulu kangangokuthi ezinye zisabela ngokuzibulala noma ngokubulala ziziphindiselela.”

UDkt. Ed Adlaf, usosayensi wezocwaningo futhi onguprofesa wesayensi emikhakheni yezempilo yomphakathi e-University of Toronto, uzwakalisa ukukhathazeka ngokuthi “labo abaqinelwayo kanye nabaqinela abanye cishe baba nezinkinga ezingokomzwelo noma-ke bayoba nazo esikhathini esizayo.” Phakathi nonyaka wesikole ka-2001, kwahlolwa abafundi abangaphezu kuka-225 000 e-Ontario, futhi abaphakathi kwengxenye yesine nengxenye yesithathu kubo babehileleke ohlotsheni oluthile lokuqinela, kungaba ukuthi babeqinelwa noma yibo ababeqinela abanye. Kulo lelo qembu, oyedwa kwabayishumi wakucabangela ngokujulile ukuzibulala.

Ukuqinelwa njalo kungaqeda ukuzethemba koqinelwayo, kubangele izinkinga ezinkulu zempilo, kulimaze ngisho nomsebenzi womuntu wokuziphilisa. Abantu abaqinelwayo bangase bahlushwe ikhanda, ukuqwasha, ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka. Abanye baba nezinkinga zokucindezeleka okuvame ukuba khona ngemva kwenhlekelele. Nakuba kungase kube nabaningi abazwelana noyisisulu futhi bamsekele lapho ehlaselwa emzimbeni, akubi njalo lapho ehlaselwa ngokomzwelo. Umonakalo awubonakali neze. Ngakho esikhundleni sokuba abangane nomkhaya bazwelane naye, izikhalazo zoyisisulu zingase zibe yisicefe.

Ukuqinela abanye kunemiphumela emibi nakulabo abakwenzayo. Uma bengakuyeki besebancane, cishe nalapho sebekhulile bayoqinela abanye emsebenzini. Empeleni, okunye ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi labo ababeqinela abanye beseyizingane, babekhula nawo lo mkhuba. Futhi amathuba okuba baboshelwe ukwephula umthetho ayemaningana kubo kunakulabo ababengenawo lo mkhuba.

Umphumela Emkhayeni

Ukuqinelwa emsebenzini kuthinta ukuzinza nokuthula kwasekhaya. Kungase kuvuse koqinelwayo isifiso esingachazeki sokubazwisa ubuhlungu abantu abathandayo ekhaya. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungenza umngane womshado noma ilungu lomkhaya ukuba lilwe nomuntu oqinela isisulu, libonisa ngendlela engafanele ukuzwelana kwalo naso. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umngane womshado angase asole umngane wakhe ngokuthi hleze nguye onochuku. Uma izimo ezinjalo zokuqinelwa ziqhubeka isikhathi eside zingaxazululwa, ngisho nabangane bomshado abanozwela baye baphelelwe yisineke. Njengoba iminyaka iqhubeka, maningi amathuba okuba umkhaya ugcine uwohlokile.

Kwezinye izimo ukuqinelwa kuholela ekulahlekelweni umsebenzi nendlela yokuziphilisa, ekuhlaleni ngokwehlukana nasesehlukanisweni, noma ngisho nasekuzibulaleni. E-Australia abaphakathi kwesigamu nezingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu zabantu abaqinelwayo emsebenzini babika ukuthi kwakuba nemiphumela emibi ebuhlotsheni babo obuseduze, njengobuhlobo babo nomasihlalisane babo, nabangane bomshado noma nomkhaya.

Ukuqinela Abanye Kuyizindleko

Ukuqinela abanye emsebenzini kuyizindleko nakubaqashi. Umuntu oqinela abanye emsebenzini angase abe ubasi onolimi oluhlabayo noma esinye isisebenzi esingusomaqhinga futhi kungaba owesifazane noma owesilisa. Abantu abanjalo baphatha abanye ngesandla esiqinile, balawule ngisho nezinto ezingasho lutho, babalulaze ngezinkulumo ezingakhi nokugxeka okungapheli, ngokuvamile bakwenza phambi kwabanye. Laba bantu abaziboni ukuthi baluhlaza futhi abaxolisi ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ngokuvamile izisulu zabo kuba yizisebenzi ezinekhono, ezithembekile nezithandwa kakhulu ezinye izisebenzi.

Izisebenzi eziqinelwayo zivame ukuyekethisa emsebenzini wazo. Kuthinteka nezinga lomsebenzi wezinye izisebenzi ezibonayo lapho ezinye ziqinelwa. Ukuqinelwa kungenza izisebenzi zizizwe zingenaso isibopho esingako sokuba qotho kubaqashi futhi zingazinikeli emsebenzini wazo. Omunye umbiko uthi izindleko ezidalwa ngabantu abaqinela abanye ezimbonini zase-United Kingdom zibalelwa ezigidini zamaRandi eziyizinkulungwane ezingu-24 minyaka yonke. Futhi kuthiwa lo mkhuba ubangela nezifo ezihlobene nokucindezeleka ezingamaphesenti angaphezu kuka-30.

Ngempela, ukuqinela abanye kuyawuthinta umphakathi emhlabeni wonke. Umbuzo uwukuthi, Kukhona yini okungenziwa ukuze kunqandwe le nkinga futhi iqedwe?

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Ukuqinelwa emsebenzini kwande ngendlela edabukisayo

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Abantu abaqinelwa njalo bangase bahluname futhi baququdwe umzwangedwa