Ukuvikela Abantabethu Emaqenjini Ezigilamkhuba

“Abantwana badinga abantu ababakhathalelayo.”—Not My Kid—Gang Prevention for Parents.

NGAPHANDLE kobuhlobo bethu noNkulunkulu, abantwana bethu baphakathi kwamagugu ethu amakhulu kakhulu. Kufanele sixoxe nabo, sibalalele, sibasingathe futhi siqikelele ukuthi bayazi ukuthi babaluleke kakhulu kithi. Kufanele sibafundise izinto ezinhle—ukuthembeka nokuba usizo, indlela yokuphila ukuphila okujabulisayo nendlela yokuba nomusa kwabanye.

Unsumpa wesikhungo esivalela intsha waveza inkinga enkulu namuhla, ethi: “Izindinganiso azifundiswa emkhayeni.” Ngokuqinisekile kudingeka sikunakekele ukwenza lokhu. Kumelwe siphile ngendlela esifuna abantwana bethu baphile ngayo futhi sibenze babone injabulo lokhu okusilethela yona ekuphileni. Uma singabafundisi izindinganiso ezifanele, singalindela kanjani ukuba bazilandele lezo zindinganiso?

Umagazini i-Today, onyatheliselwa othisha baseMelika, wathi ngokuvamile amaqembu ezigilamkhuba akhanga intsha “ezibheka njengezehluleki” futhi “efuna ukulondeka, umuzwa wobungane nokwamukelwa emphakathini.” Uma ngempela sibanikeza abantwana bethu lezo zinto ekhaya—ukulondeka nomuzwa oqinile wempumelelo ekhaya nasekuphileni kwabo—cishe ngeke bakhangwe yizithembiso zamanga zeqembu.

Umholi weqembu lamaphoyisa aseCalifornia elinqanda amaqembu ezigilamkhuba ulandisa ngokushaqeka akubona kubazali lapho amaphoyisa engqongqoza emzini wabo ebatshela ukuthi ingane yabo isenkathazweni. Baye bangakholelwa neze ukuthi umuntu abebecabanga ukuthi bamazi kahle kangaka angenza okuthile okungalungile. Kodwa umntwana wabo usuke esethole abangane abasha futhi eseshintshile. Ukuthi nje abazali basuke bengakaqapheli.

Kubalulekile Ukuthatha Izinyathelo Zokugwema Isimo

Abantu abahlala ezindaweni ezigcwele amaqembu bathi intsha nabantu abadala kufanele basebenzise ukwahlulela okuhle futhi bangabekeli iqembu inselele noma balisongele. Gwema amaqembu amakhulu ezigilamkhuba, futhi ungayilingisi indlela abukeka ngayo noma enza ngayo izinto, kuhlanganise nesitayela nemibala yezingubo abazigqokayo. Ukuwalingisa kungakwenza isisulu seqembu eliphikisana nawo.

Futhi, uma umuntu egqoka futhi aziphathe njengokungathi ufuna ukuba yilungu leqembu, amalungu alo angase amcindezele ukuba azibandakanye nalo. Ukubaluleka kokwazi isimo sengqondo samaqembu endawo kwaboniswa uyise wabantwana abathathu eChicago. Waphawula: ‘Uma ngigqoka ikepisi ngilibhekise eceleni, asuke acabange ukuthi ngiyaweyisa.’ Futhi lokho kungabangela ubudlova!

Sondelana Nabantwana Bakho

Umama othile wathi: “Kumelwe sibanake abantwana bethu—indlela abazizwa ngayo nalokho abakwenzayo. Ngeke siphumelele uma singabonisi isithakazelo esiqotho ekuphileni kwabo.” Omunye wathi inkinga yamaqembu ezigilamkhuba ngeke iphele kuze kube yilapho abazali beyiqeda. Wanezela: “Masiboniseni abantwana uthando. Uma ukuphila kwabo konakala, nokwethu kuyonakala.”

Ingabe siyabazi abangane babantwana bethu, ukuthi bayaphi ngemva kwesikole nokuthi basuke bekuphi kusihlwa lapho selishonile? Yiqiniso, akubona bonke omama abangaba sekhaya lapho abantwana babo befika bevela esikoleni. Kodwa omama abangabodwa abazikhandlayo ukuze bakhokhe intela yendlu futhi bondle abantwana babo bangase bakwazi ukuhlela nabanye omama noma nothile abamethembayo ukuba anakekele abantwana babo ngemva kwesikole.

Indoda ethile ehlala endaweni enamaqembu anobudlova yabuzwa ukuthi yayingabavikela kanjani abantwana bayo emaqenjini ezigilamkhuba. Yathi ingahamba nendodana yayo endaweni yangakubo ukuze iyibonise umphumela wemisebenzi yamaqembu. Ingayibonisa imidwebo esezindongeni nezakhiwo eziwohlokile futhi iyibonise “ukuthi le ndawo ayiphephile nokuthi amalungu amaqembu angolova nje, awenzi lutho ngokuphila kwawo.” Wanezela: “Khona-ke, bengingayichazela ukuthi ukuphila ngezimiso zeBhayibheli kungayilonda ekubhekaneni nomphumela onjalo.”

Into elula njengokuba nesithakazelo esiqotho emsebenzini wesikole wabantwana bethu ingaba isivikelo kubo. Uma kunomhlangano wabazali esikoleni noma ngesinye isikhathi uma abazali bemenyelwa ukuvakashela esikoleni baxoxe nothisha, qiniseka ukuthi uyaya. Bazi othisha babantwana bakho, futhi ubatshele ukuthi uyamkhathalela umntanakho futhi unesithakazelo emsebenzini wakhe wesikole. Uma singekho isimiso sokuvakashela esikoleni, zama ukuthola amathuba okuxoxa nothisha ngentuthuko yomntanakho esikoleni nangendlela ongasiza ngayo.

Ukuhlola okwenziwa kwelinye idolobha elikhulu eMelika kwaveza ukuthi phakathi kwabafundi ababesizwa noma bekhuthazwa yimikhaya yakubo emsebenzini wesikole, bangamaphesenti angu-9 ababezibandakanye namaqembu. Kodwa emikhayeni eyayingakunikezi ukunakekela okunjalo, abafundi abayinani eliphindwe kabili kulelo—abangamaphesenti angu-18—babejoyine amaqembu. Uma umkhaya wethu unothando futhi usondelene futhi senza izinto ezakhayo ndawonye, kuyonciphisa amathuba okuba abantwana bethu bahehwe yizithembiso zamanga zamaqembu ezigilamkhuba.

Lokho Abantwana Bethu Abakudinga Ngempela

Abantwana bethu badinga zona kanye izinto esizidingayo nathi—uthando nomusa. Abantwana abaningi abakaze bathintwe ngendlela enothando, noma batshelwe ukuthi bayigugu ngempela. Kwangathi lokho kungenzeke ngabantwana bethu! Kwangathi singabasingatha, sibatshele ukuthi siyabathanda, futhi sizame ukubona ukuthi baphila ngendlela enhle esibafundise ukuba baphile ngayo. Bayigugu kakhulu ukuba singabaphatha nganoma iyiphi enye indlela.

UGerald, owayeyilungu leqembu, uyachaza: “Ngangingenaye ubaba oyisibonelo, ngakho ngajoyina amaqembu ukuze ngivale leso sikhala ekuphileni kwami.” Waqala ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa lapho eneminyaka engu-12. Kodwa lapho eseneminyaka engu-17, unina waqala isifundo seBhayibheli sasekhaya sasikhathi sonke noFakazi BakaJehova. Wasebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli ezinhle ekuphileni kwakhe. Uthi: “Ngalubona ushintsho kuye, futhi ngacabanga ukuthi, ‘Kumelwe kube nokuthile okuzuzisayo ngalokhu.’” Isibonelo sikanina esihle samshukumisela ukuba ashintshe ukuphila kwakhe.

Abantwana bethu kufanele babone isibonelo esihle kithi—ukuthi siphila ngendlela esibatshela ukuba baphile ngayo. Kumelwe bakwazi ukuziqhenya ngomkhaya wakubo, hhayi ngenxa yalokho onakho, kodwa ngenxa yalokho okwenzayo. Futhi abantwana kufanele basizwe ukuze bazizwe beziqhenya ngokuziphatha kwabo okuhle. Owayengummeli wesiFunda saseLos Angeles u-Ira Reiner wakubeka ngale ndlela: “Kumelwe sisondelane nabantwana ngaphambi kokuba bazibandakanye namaqembu.”

Ukubanikeza Abakudingayo

Akuzona izinto ezibonakalayo esizinikeza abantwana bethu ezibaluleke kakhulu. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuba sibasize bakhule babe abantu abadala abanothando nabakhathalelayo, abanezindinganiso zokuziphatha ezinhle. IBhayibheli lithi uJakobe olungile wathi abantwana bakhe “bangabantwana uNkulunkulu [angiphé bona] ngomusa.” (Genesise 33:5) Uma sibabheka ngaleyo ndlela abantwana bethu—njengezipho esiziphiwe uNkulunkulu—siyothambekela ekubaphatheni ngothando futhi sibafundise ukuphila ngokwethembeka, ngobuqotho nangokuziphatha okuhle.

Ngakho siyokwenza konke okusemandleni ukuba siphile ukuphila kwethu ngendlela ebekela abantwana bethu isibonelo esifanele. Siyobenza baziqhayise ngomkhaya wakubo, hhayi ngezinto ezibonakalayo umkhaya onazo, kodwa ngohlobo lwabantu esiyilo. Kanjalo, cishe ngeke bafune ukusekelwa abantu bangaphandle abayizigilamkhuba.

Lapho ebheka emuva esikhathini sakhe sobusha, umkhulu othile uthi: “Ngangingeke ngilokothe ngenze ngisho nento eyodwa eyayingaletha isihlamba emkhayeni wakithi.” Uyavuma ukuthi wayezizwa ngale ndlela ngoba wayelubona uthando abazali bakhe ababenalo ngaye. Yiqiniso, kungase kungabi lula komama nakobaba abathile ukubonisa abantwana babo uthando uma bona bengazange baluthole uthando kubazali babo. Noma kunjalo, abazali kudingeka benze umzamo wokubonisa abantwana babo uthando.

Kungani lokhu kubaluleke kangaka? Ngoba, njengoba kwasho umagazini i-“What’s Up,” onyatheliswa yi-Utah Gang Investigators Association, “uma intsha izizwa ithandwa futhi ilondekile—hhayi ngokwezimali, kodwa ngokomzwelo—izidingo eziyenza ukuba ijoyine amaqembu ngokuvamile ziyanyamalala.”

Abanye abafundi bangase bacabange ukuthi imikhaya enothando kanjalo ayisekho. Kodwa ikhona. Ungathola eminingi emabandleni oFakazi BakaJehova emhlabeni wonke. Yiqiniso, le mikhaya ayiphelele, kodwa isesimweni esingcono kakhulu: Ifunda lokho iBhayibheli elikushoyo ngokukhulisa abantwana bese izama ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli zokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu ekuphileni kwayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ifundisa abantwana lezo zimiso.

OFakazi BakaJehova bavumelana namazwi ashiwo yi-Journal of the American Medical Association: “Umuntu ngeke alindele ukuba . . . intsha ‘imane yenqabe ukuhileleka’ kokuthile ngaphandle kokuyinikeza okuthile ‘engakwamukela.’” Ngamanye amazwi, uma sifuna abantwana bethu bamukele izinto ezinhle nezakhayo, kumelwe sibaqondise ukuba benze kanjalo.

Akekho noyedwa kithi ongathanda ukusho njengoba kwasho ubaba othile: ‘Eqenjini eyayikulo, indodana yami yathola ubudlelwane nabanye nenhlonipho eyayingakaze ikujabulele ngaphambili.’ Futhi ngeke sithande ukuzwa abantwana bethu besho njengoba kwasho osemusha othile: “Ngajoyina iqembu ngoba ngangifuna ukuba yingxenye yomkhaya.”

Thina bazali kumelwe sibe yilowo mkhaya. Futhi kumelwe senze konke okusemandleni ukuze siqikelele ukuthi abantwana bethu abayigugu bahlala beyingxenye efudumele nenothando yalowo mkhaya.

[Ibhokisi/Izithombe ekhasini 10]

Okufanele Abazali Abakhathalelayo Bakuqikelele

✔ Chitha isikhathi nabantwana bakho ekhaya, futhi nenze izinto ndawonye njengomkhaya

✔ Bazi abangane babantwana bakho nemikhaya yakubo, futhi uqaphele ukuthi abantwana bakho baya kuphi futhi nobani

✔ Abantwana bakho mabazi ukuthi bangeza kuwe noma nini uma benezinkinga

✔ Fundisa abantwana ukuhlonipha abanye abantu, amalungelo abo nemibono yabo

✔ Sekela abantwana bakho ngokujwayelana nothisha babo, futhi ubatshele othisha ukuthi uyabazisa futhi uyayisekela imizamo yabo

✔ Ungaxazululi izinkinga ngokumemeza noma ngokusebenzisa ubudlova Abantwana bakho badinga uthando lwakho olufudumele

[Isithombe ekhasini 9]

Ukuba nesithakazelo emsebenzini wesikole womntanakho kungaba isivikelo