Ukuhlukunyezwa Ngokobulili—Indlela Ongazivikela Ngayo

“AKEKHO owesifazane okufanele abhekane nenselele yansuku zonke yokunxenxwa ngokobulili,” kusho umhleli kamagazini uGretchen Morgenson, “kodwa akunangqondo ukuba abesifazane balindele isimo sasemsebenzini esihle esingenakho ukuziphatha okungenasizotha.” Kuyancomeka ukuthi imizamo yabaqashi nezinkantolo yokwenza indawo yasemsebenzini ilondeke kakhudlwana iye yaveza imiphumela ethile emihle. Ngokwesibonelo, ingozi yokumangalelwa iye yashukumisela abaqashi nezisebenzi emhlabeni wonke ukuba bazame ukuthuthukisa isimo sasemsebenzini. Izinkampani eziningi ziye zasungula izinqubo zangaphakathi zokusingatha ukuxhashazwa emsebenzini. Kuqhutshwa imihlangano yokufundisa izisebenzi ngokuziphatha okufanele emsebenzini.

Yiqiniso, kunengqondo ukwazi nokulandela izinkambiso zenkampani nemithetho yendawo. (Roma 13:1; Thithu 2:9) AmaKristu aye akuthola kuwusizo nokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli. Ukulandela lezi ziqondiso eziphefumulelwe ekusebenzelaneni kwakho nabantu osebenza nabo kungakusiza kakhulu ukuba ugweme ukuba isisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili—noma umshoshozeli wako.

Ukuziphatha Okufanele Ngamadoda

Cabangela indaba yokuthi amadoda kufanele abaphathe kanjani abesifazane. Ochwepheshe abaningi baxwayisa ngokuthinta abobulili obuhlukile. Baxwayisa ngokuthi ukubhansa kobungane emhlane kalula kungaqondwa kabi. “Amajaji akubheka njengokungathi sína ukuthintana,” kuphawula ummeli wezomsebenzi uFrank Harty. Yini ayisikiselayo? “Uma kuhilela okungaphezu kokuxhawulana, ungakwenzi.” Yiqiniso, iBhayibheli ngokwalo alishayi umthetho ongaguquki kulendaba.a Kodwa ngenxa yesimo samanje sezomthetho nesokuziphatha, isixwayiso sifanelekile—ikakhulukazi kulabo abanokuthambekela okungalawuleki kokuthinta lapho bexoxa.

Kuyavunywa, iseluleko esinjalo akulula ukusilandela ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngokwesibonelo, uGlen udabuka esizindeni samaHispanic. Uthi: “Lapho ngivela khona, abantu bathambekele kakhulu ekukwangeni kunalapha e-United States. Emkhayeni wakithi ngokuvamile sibingelela abangane ngokubaqabula, kodwa lapha saxwayiswa ukuba singasheshi ukukwenza lokho.” Nokho, izimiso zeBhayibheli ziwusizo kulendaba. Umphostoli uPawulu watshela insizwa uThimothewu: “Phatha izinsizwa njengabafowenu, abesifazane abadala njengawonyoko, nabesifazane abasebasha njengawodadewenu, ngobumsulwa obuphelele.” (1 Thimothewu 5:1, 2, New International Version) Ingabe lokho bekungeke kunqande ukuthintana okusikisela ukuziphatha okuxekethile, okunxenxayo, noma okungafuneki?

Leso simiso esifanayo singasetshenziswa enkulumweni. Ngokufanelekile, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ubufebe nokungahlanzeki kwazo zonke izinhlobo noma ukuhaha makungaphathwa nakuphathwa phakathi kwenu, njengoba nje kufanele abantu abangcwele; noma ukuziphatha okuyihlazo noma inkulumo yobuwula noma ukuntela okuyichilo, izinto ezingafaneleki.” (Efesu 5:3, 4) Ummeli wezokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili uKathy Chinoy usikisela ukuthi ngaphambi kokuba ukhulume ucabangele lombuzo: “Ingabe ungathanda ukuba unyoko, udadewenu, noma indodakazi yakho ibhekane nalokho?” Inkulumo eyichilo, esikisela ukungcola yonakalisa kokubili oyikhulumayo nalowo oyilalele.

Ukuvimbela Ukuhlukunyezwa

Umuntu angazama kanjani ukugwema ukuba isisulu sokuhlukunyezwa? Mhlawumbe iseluleko uJesu asinikeza abalandeli bakhe lapho ebathumela esabelweni sabo sokuqala sokushumayela singasebenza kulomongo: “Bhekani! Ngiyanithuma njengezimvu phakathi kwezimpisi; ngakho-ke zibonakaliseni niqaphile njengezinyoka kodwa nokho nibe msulwa njengamajuba.” (Mathewu 10:16) Nakuba kunjalo, umKristu unendlela yokuthola usizo. IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa: ‘Lapho ukuhlakanipha kungena enhliziyweni yakho, . . . amasu ayakukulinda, ukuqonda kukugcine.’ (IzAga 2:10, 11) Ngakho-ke, ake sihlole ezinye izimiso zeBhayibheli ezingakusiza ukuba uzilonde.

1. Qaphela indlela obaphatha ngayo osebenza nabo. Lokhu akusho ukungabi nobungane noma ukuba nobutha, ngoba iBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuba ‘siphishekele ukuthula nabantu bonke.’ (Heberu 12:14; Roma 12:18) Kodwa njengoba iBhayibheli liwaxwayisa amaKristu ukuba ‘aqhubeke ehamba ngokuhlakanipha ngakulabo abangaphandle,’ kunengqondo ukungakhululeki ngokweqile, ikakhulukazi lapho usebenzelana nabobulili obuhlukile. (Kolose 4:5) Incwadi ethi Talking Back to Sexual Pressure, ka-Elizabeth Powell, ikhuthaza izisebenzi “ukuba zifunde umehluko ocacile phakathi kwesimo sengqondo esihle esifanele indima yazo nohlobo lobungane olungase luzichaye ngokobulili.”

2. Gqoka ngesizotha. Lokho okugqokayo kudlulisela isigijimi kwabanye. Emuva ngezikhathi zeBhayibheli, ukugqoka izingubo zezitayela ezithile kwakubonisa ukuthi umuntu unokuziphatha okubi noma okuxekethile. (IzAga 7:10) Ngokuvamile kuyisimo esifanayo nanamuhla; izingubo ezimpintshayo, eziwubukhazikhazi, noma ezibonisa ngalé zingadonsa ukunaka okungafanele. Yiqiniso, abanye bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi banelungelo lokugqoka noma yini abayifisayo. Kodwa njengoba umlobi u-Elizabeth Powell ekubeka, “uma ubusebenza phakathi kwabantu abacabanga ukuthi kulungile ukweba imali, bengiyokutshela ukuthi ungabeki isikhwama sakho semali lapho sitholakala kalula khona. . . . Kumelwe ukuqaphele ukugula . . . kwesimo sengqondo somphakathi futhi uzame ukuzivikela ekubeni isisulu sawo.” Ngakho iseluleko seBhayibheli sihambisana nesikhathi. Liyala abesifazane ukuba “bazihlobise ngezingubo ezilungiswe kahle, ngesizotha nangokuhluzeka kwengqondo.” (1 Thimothewu 2:9) Gqoka ngesizotha, futhi cishe ngeke ube isisulu senkulumo noma izenzo zokuxhashazwa.

3. Qaphela abantu ojwayelene nabo! IBhayibheli lisitshela ngowesifazane osemusha okuthiwa uDina owaba isisulu sokuhlaselwa ngokobulili. Ngokusobala wadonsa ukunaka komhlaseli wakhe ngoba njalo ‘wayephuma ukuyobona amadodakazi ezwe’ laseKhanani—abesifazane ababaziwa ngokuziphatha okuxekethile! (Genesise 34:1, 2) Ngokufanayo namuhla, uma ngaso sonke isikhathi uxoxa—noma ulalela—osebenza nabo abaziwa ngokuxoxa izindaba ezivusa inkanuko yobulili, abanye bangase baphethe ngokuthi uyokwamukela ukunxenxa okungokobulili.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele weyise osebenza nabo. Kodwa uma ingxoxo ingafaneleki, kungani ungamane udede? Ngokuthakazelisayo, oFakazi BakaJehova abaningi baye bathola ukuthi ukuba nedumela lokuba nezindinganiso zokuziphatha eziphakeme kuyabavikela ekuhlukunyezweni.—1 Petru 2:12.

4. Gwema izimo eziyekethisayo. IBhayibheli lilandisa indlela insizwa ethile okuthiwa u-Amnoni eyaceba ngayo ukuba yodwa nowesifazane osemusha okuthiwa uTamari ukuze imhlukumeze ngokobulili. (2 Samuweli 13:1-14) Abahlukumezi namuhla bangase baziphathe ngendlela efanayo, mhlawumbe bameme ongaphansi kwabo ukuba ahlanganyele uphuzo oludakayo noma asale ngemva komsebenzi ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo. Ziqaphele izimemo ezinjalo! IBhayibheli lithi: “Oqondileyo uyabona ububi, acashe.”—IzAga 22:3.

Uma Uhlukunyezwa

Yiqiniso, amanye amadoda ayothatha izinyathelo ezingafanele ngisho nalapho owesifazane eziphatha kahle. Kufanele usabele kanjani ezinyathelweni ezinjalo uma uhlaselwa? Abanye baye batusa ukuba umane ubhekane nesimo ngokungacasuki! ‘Ubulili basemsebenzini bunandisa ukuphila!’ kusho owesifazane othile. Nokho, kunokuba abheke ukunakekela okunjalo okungafanele njengokunamisayo noma okuthophayo, amaKristu eqiniso ayakwenyanya. ‘Azonda okubi’ futhi ayaqaphela ukuthi isisusa sezenzo ezinjalo ngokuvamile siwukunxenxela umuntu ekuziphatheni okubi ngokobulili. (Roma 12:9; qhathanisa neyesi-2 Thimothewu 3:6.) Lokhu kuziphatha kokungabi nanhlonipho kululaza isithunzi sawo sobuKristu. (Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Thesalonika 4:7, 8.) Ungazisingatha kanjani izimo ezinjalo?

1. Thatha ukuma okuqinile! IBhayibheli lisitshela indlela indoda esaba uNkulunkulu okuthiwa uJosefa eyasabela ngayo ekusikiseleni kokuziphatha okubi: “Kwathi emva kwalezozinto umkankosi yakhe waphonsa amehlo kuJosefa, wathi: Lala nami.” Ingabe uJosefa wamane wakushaya indiva ukunxenxa kwakhe, ngethemba lokuthi lenkinga yayizoziphelela? Ngokuphambene! IBhayibheli lithi wakwenqaba ngesibindi ukunxenxa komkankosi, ethi: “Ngingenza kanjani lobobubi obungaka, ngone kuNkulunkulu, na?”—Genesise 39:7-9.

Ukuziphatha kukaJosefa kubabekela isibonelo esihle abesilisa nabesifazane. Ukuyishaya indiva—noma okubi nakakhulu, ukusatshiswa—inkulumo esikisela ukungcola noma ukuziphatha okunonya akuyenzi ukuba isuke; kunalokho, ukwesaba noma ukunqikaza kungase kuyenze ibhebhetheke! Umeluleki wezokuvinjelwa kokudlwengulwa uMartha Langelan uxwayisa ngokuthi ngokuvamile abadlwenguli basebenzisa ukuhlukumeza ngokobulili “njengendlela yokubona ukuthi owesifazane uzolwa yini lapho ehlaselwa; uma enganaki futhi esaba lapho ehlukunyezwa, baphetha ngokuthi ngeke anake futhi uyosaba lapho ehlaselwa.” Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuba uthathe ukuma okuqinile lapho kuqala nje ukuhlukumeza. Ngokomlobi othile, “ukwenqaba ngokushesha nangokucacile ngokuvamile kwanele ukwenza umhlukumezi ayeke lokhu kuziphatha okunengekayo.”

2. Ucha wakho makasho ucha! Washo lokho uJesu eNtshumayelweni yakhe yaseNtabeni. (Mathewu 5:37) Amazwi akhe afanelekile kulezi zimo, njengoba ngokuvamile abahlukumezi bephikelela. Kufanele uqine kangakanani? Lokho kuxhomeke ezimweni nasekusabeleni komhlukumezi. Sebenzisa ukuqina okudingekile ukuze ucacise ukuma kwakho. Kwezinye izimo, amazwi alula, aqondile ashiwo ngephimbo elimnene ayokwanela. Buka umhlukumezi emehlweni. Ochwepheshe basikisela okulandelayo: (a) Yisho indlela ozizwa ngayo. (“Angithandi neze uma u- . . .”) (b) Kusho ngokuqondile ukuziphatha okukunengayo. (“. . . lapho usebenzisa ulimi olungenanhlonipho, olungcolile . . .”) (c) Cacisa ukuthi ufuna lowo muntu enzeni. (“Ngifuna ukuba uyeke ukukhuluma nami ngaleyo ndlela!”)

“Nokho, asikho isimo,” kuxwayisa uLangelan, “lapho ukuxoxa kufanele kuphenduke khona unya. Ukuba nonya (ukusebenzisa inhlamba, izinsongo, nokuchapha, ukushaya ngesibhakela, ukufela umhlukumezi ngamathe) akuphumeleli. Ukuchapha kuyingozi, futhi asikho isidingo sokusebenzisa ubudlova obungokomzimba ngaphandle kwalapho kunokuhlaselwa ngokomzimba okungokoqobo okudinga ukuba uzivikele.” Iseluleko esinjalo esiwusizo sivumelana namazwi eBhayibheli kweyabaseRoma 12:17: “Ningabuyiseli muntu okubi ngokubi.”

Kuthiwani uma ukuhlukunyezwa kuqhubeka naphezu kwemizamo yakho eqotho yokukunqanda? Ezinye izinkampani zinezinqubo ezimisiwe zokusingatha ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili. Ngokuvamile lona kanye usongo lokusebenzisa inqubo yenkampani yezikhalo luyokwenza ukuba umhlukumezi akuyeke. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lungase lungaphumeleli. Ngokudabukisayo, ukuthola umphathi onozwela akuwona ngaso sonke isikhathi umsebenzi olula kwabesifazane noma emadodeni. UGlen, othi wahlukunyezwa isisebenzi sowesifazane, wazama ukufaka isikhalo. Uyakhumbula: “Lapho ngitshela umqashi wami ngakho, akazange neze angisize. Eqinisweni, wayecabanga ukuthi kuyahlekisa. Kwakudingeka nje ngimqaphele lona wesifazane futhi ngenze umzamo okhethekile wokumgwema.”

Abanye baye bazama ezomthetho. Kodwa izahlulelo ezinamandla emacaleni ofunda ngawo emithonjeni yezindaba azivamile neze. Ngaphandle kwalokho, incwadi ethi Talking Back to Sexual Pressure iyaxwayisa: “Amakhambi angokomthetho okuhlukunyezwa adinga amandla angokomzwelo nesikhathi esiningi; abangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.” Ngesizathu esihle iBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Ungasheshi ukuphuma ukuyophikisana.” (IzAga 25:8) Ngemva kokucabangela ukukhandleka ngokomzwelo nangokomoya kokuthatha isinyathelo esingokomthetho, abanye baye bakhetha ukufuna omunye umsebenzi.

Ukuphela Kokuhlukunyezwa

Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili akukusha. Kwande njengenhliziyo yomuntu engaphelele, enamacebo, futhi ehahayo. Ukushaywa komthetho namacala asenkantolo ngeke kukuqede ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili emphakathini. Ukuqedwa kokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili kudinga ukuba abantu bashintshe inhliziyo ngokuphelele.

Namuhla, iZwi likaNkulunkulu nomoya wakhe kwenza ushintsho olunjalo kubantu emhlabeni wonke. Kunjengokungathi izimpisi nezingonyama zifunda ukuziphatha njengamawundlu namankonyane, njengoba kwabikezela umprofethi u-Isaya. (Isaya 11:6-9) Ngokufunda iBhayibheli nabantu, unyaka ngamunye oFakazi BakaJehova basiza izinkulungwane eziningi ‘ezaziyizimpisi’ ukuba zenze ushintsho lobuntu olujulile, oluhlala njalo. Laba bantu balalela umyalo ongokomBhalo wokuba ‘balahle ubuntu obudala obuvumelana nenkambo yabo yokuziphatha yangaphambili’ futhi esikhundleni sabo bagqoke “ubuntu obusha obadalwa ngokwentando kaNkulunkulu ngokulunga kweqiniso nokwethembeka.”—Efesu 4:22-24.

Ngolunye usuku umhlaba uyogcwala amadoda nabesifazane abanamathela ezindinganisweni zeBhayibheli. Abantu abesaba uNkulunkulu balulindele ngokulangazela lolo suku, lapho kuyophela khona konke ukuphathwa kabi. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, bazikhuthazelela ngokusemandleni abo izimo zanamuhla ezingajabulisi.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 7]

“Ingabe ungathanda ukuba unyoko, udadewenu, noma indodakazi yakho ibhekane nalokho?”

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Ukungakhululeki ngokweqile nokugqoka ngesizotha kungamvikela kakhulu umuntu ekuhlukunyezweni

[Isithombe ekhasini 10]

AmaKristu eqiniso namuhla afunda ukuphathana ngenhlonipho