Ukuba Nezingane Zokutholwa—Ngani Futhi Kanjani?

KUNGANI inani lezingane zokutholwa liye lancipha ngokuphawulekayo eBrithani phakathi naleminyaka engu-20 edlule? Kuye kwashiwo izizathu ezimbili—ukukhishwa kwezisu ngokusemthethweni nokwamukeleka okwandayo kukamama okhulisa ingane yakhe ngaphandle komyeni wakhe. Ukuba umkhaya onomzali oyedwa sekubonakala kuyinselele okungabhekwana nayo ngokuphumelelayo emphakathini wanamuhla.

Nokho, eminyakeni nje engaphezu kweyikhulu edlule, isimo sasihlukile. Lapho uPolly, unina ka-Edgar Wallace, umlobi waseNgilandi wezincwadi ezikhuluma ngobugebengu, ekhuleliswa indodana yomqashi wakhe, wahamba wayobeletha isinyenyela. U-Edgar wayenezinsuku ezingu-9 ubudala lapho umbelethisi ehlela ukuba anakekelwe umkaGeorge Freeman, umthuthi wezimpahla endaweni yokuthengisa izinhlanzi eBillingsgate yaseLondon. AbakwaFreeman base benezingane zabo siqu eziyishumi, futhi u-Edgar wakhula aziwa ngokuthi uDick Freeman. UPolly wayesikhokha njalo isondlo sengane yakhe, futhi uyise wengane akazange azi ukuthi unendodana.

Namuhla uma abantwana bengafunwa, ngokuvamile iziphathimandla zikahulumeni ziyabanakekela. Izingane eziningi zinakekelwa ngoba zidinga ukuvikelwa ekuxhashazweni noma ngoba zikhubazekile ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo. Lezo eziba izintandane ngenxa yezimpi ezisabekayo nabantwana ababa khona ngenxa yokudlwengulwa zandisa inani lezingane ezidinga uthando lomzwelo nokuvikelwa abazali—ngamafuphi, ukuba izingane zokutholwa.

Ukuba Nengane Yokutholwa Noma Cha?

Ukuba nengane yokutholwa akulula neze, futhi akukhona neze ukuhlakanipha ukwenza isinqumo ngokuphamazela lapho ukucabangela. Uma uye washonelwa umntwana, kungase kube kuhle ukulinda kuze kudlule ukwethuka noma usizi ngaphambi kokuba wenze isinqumo esiwujuqu ngokuba nengane yokutholwa. Kungase kube okufanayo nangombhangqwana otshelwe ukuthi uyizinyumba.

Ingane ngayinye izuza izici zofuzo ezihlukile. Ngokuvamile abazali bayamangala lapho bebona ukuthambekela kwezingane zabo, kodwa kunzima ukuqonda izinga lengqondo nelingokomzwelo lomntwana uma abazali bakhe bengaziwa.

Ingabe ukubheka njengokubaluleke kakhulu ukuphumelela kwezemfundo? Uma kunjalo, uyozizwa kanjani lapho ingane yakho yokutholwa ingawagcwalisi amathemba akho? Ingabe ingane ekhubazekile ngokwengqondo noma ngokomzimba ungayibheka njengenselele ongabhekana nayo?

Izisebenzi eziqeqeshiwe zasezikhungweni zezingane zokutholwa noma izisebenzi zezenhlalakahle zikahulumeni ziyokubuza imibuzo enjalo ngaphambi kokuba uzihilele. Kumelwe zikhathazeke kakhulu ngokulondeka nangenjabulo yengane.

Uma Unquma Ukuba Nengane Yokutholwa . . .

Izwe ngalinye linemithetho nemiyalo yalo yokuba nezingane zokutholwa okudingeka ifundwe. EBrithani kunamakhulukhulu ezinhlangano zezingane zokutholwa, futhi ngokuvamile zisebenzelana neziphathimandla zikahulumeni wendawo. Zonke izinhlangano zinemithetho yazo.

Okuthandwa kakhulu eBrithani amaqembu ezingane zokutholwa, lapho idlanzana labazali abafuna izingane zokutholwa lingahlangana khona nazo, ngaphandle kokucindezeleka okungokomzwelo okungaba khona lapho bebonana nengane eyodwa. Isimo esikhululekile senza kube lula ukuba abazali bangayithathi ingane yokutholwa futhi senza izingane zingadumali, njengoba isuke ingekho ingane okugxilwe kuyo.

Ngokuvamile kubekwa imingcele yobudala kulabo abathatha izingane zokutholwa, iminyaka engaba ngu-35 kuya ku-40 ubudala—nakuba lokhu ngokuvamile kusebenza lapho kuthathwa izinsana zokutholwa, hhayi abantwana asebekhulile. Izinhlangano zezingane zokutholwa zithi ubudala bunquma amathemba okuphila abantu abangaba abazali. Nokho, ziyaqaphela ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho okuyigugu kuhambisana nobudala.

Eminyakeni eminingi edlule izingane zokutholwa zazithathwa imibhangqwana eshadile kuphela. Namuhla, abantu abangashadile bangafaka izicelo ngokuphumelelayo ukuze bathole izingane zokutholwa ezithile. Futhi, ukuntuleka kwemisebenzi nokukhubazeka akuzona ngempela izizathu ezingenza ukuba abazali abafuna izingane zokutholwa bangazitholi. Umbuzo oyinhloko uwukuthi, Leli lungiselelo lizoyenzelani ingane?

Ngisho nalapho ukutholwa kwengane sekuphothuliwe ekugcineni, abazali bangase babhekwe ngeso elibukhali ukuze kuqinisekwe ukuthi izinto zihamba kahle.

Ingane Yokutholwa Yolunye Uhlanga?

Eminyakeni engu-30 edlule kwakunzima ukuba izingane ezinsundu eBrithani zitholwe imikhaya yabansundu, futhi ngenxa yalokho, eziningi zaya kubazali abamhlophe. Kusukela ngo-1989 kuye kwaba inkambiso yaseBrithani ukuba izingane zokutholwa zinikwe abazali bohlanga lwazo. Kucatshangwa ukuthi ngalendlela ingane iyokwazi ngokushesha ukuzivumelanisa nesiko nohlanga lwayo. Nokho, lokhu kuye kwaholela ezimweni ezithile eziyindida.

Muva nje i-Sunday Times ibike ukuthi abanye abazali abamhlophe baye “bachazwa kabusha ngokuthi ‘bansundu’” ukuze bakwazi ukuba nengane yokutholwa ensundu. Kuvamile ukuba abazali abamhlophe bakhulise ingane ensundu, okusho ukuthi bayinakekela okwesikhashana. Kodwa uma kamuva bengalitholi ilungelo lokuba naleyo ngane yokutholwa unomphela, umphumela uba usizi olungokomzwelo enganeni nakubazali.

Umbhangqwana othile waseScotland, owakhulisa abantwana ababili bamaNdiya iminyaka eyisithupha, muva nje ubhekane nenkinga evamile yokuba nezingane zokutholwa zolunye uhlanga. ibika ukuthi inkantolo yavuma ukuba lezi zingane zokutholwa zithathwe ngenxa yombandela wokuthi laba bazali “bayokwenza ngokusemandleni abo ukuba baqiniseke ukuthi lezi zingane ziyolwazi [uhlanga] lwazo futhi ziyokhuliswa kucatshangelwa indabuko yohlanga lwazo namasiko.” Kulesi simo abazali bebelokhu benza kanjalo. Lezi zingane zazifundiswa isiPunjabi futhi ngezinye izikhathi zazigqokiswa imvunulo yezwe lakubo.

Abaningi bayovumelana nokuphawula kowesifazane ongumkhulumeli wezenhlalakahle eBrithani owathi ukuba nezingane zokutholwa zezinye izinhlanga kufanele kuvunyelwe ngokukhululekile. “Siphila emphakathini onezinhlanga eziningi,” esho, “futhi ukukhulisa ingane nokuba nezingane zokutholwa kufanele kukubonise lokho.”

Ingane Yokutholwa Yakwelinye Izwe?

Ngokwephephandaba i-Independent, ukuba nezingane zokutholwa zakwamanye amazwe ‘kuyibhizinisi elichumayo.’ Nakuba imibiko ibonisa ukuthi eminye imininingwane ingase ingabi ngokomthetho, iMpumalanga Yurophu iwumthombo oyinhloko weBrithani.

Ngokwesibonelo, abanye abantwana abazalwa ngenxa yokudlwengulwa phakathi nokuhlukana kwezwe elaliyiYugoslavia baye bashiywa dengwane. Kuthiwa abanye ngabe babulawa ngokukhishwa kwezisu ukuba akuzange kungenele “umthengisi wabantwana,” owathembisa ukuthi umntwana wayezoba ngowokutholwa uma ezalwe ngesikhathi esifanele. Nokho, ohulumeni bamazwe aseNtshonalanga bakhathazekile ngezimali ezikhokhwayo ukuze kutholakale lezi zingane zokutholwa.

Okukhathaza kakhulu kuhlobene nezincwadi zamanga okuthiwa zenziwa odokotela ngesikhathi sokuzalwa. Iphephandaba i-European labika ukuthi kuthiwa abanye omama e-Ukraine batshelwa ukuthi izinsana zabo zazalwa zifile. Kwathiwa futhi laba bantwana bathengiswa kamuva. Kungenzeka abanye omama batshelwa ukuthi abantwana babo bakhubazekile ngengqondo. Ngaphansi kokucindezeleka okunjalo, omama abakhungathekile banxenxeka kalula ukuba banikele izingane zabo zibe ezokutholwa. Nokho ezinye izingane kungenzeka azizange zifinyelele ezikhungweni zezintandane ezathunyelwa kuzo kodwa zagcina emazweni angaphandle.

Abasemazweni asathuthuka bayacasuka. Bathi abaseNtshonalanga abanothile bekufanele benze okwengeziwe ukuze basize imikhaya yendabuko ukuba inakekele izingane zayo emakhaya kunokuba ziyoba izingane zokutholwa emazweni angaphandle.

AbaseNtshonalanga kumelwe futhi baqonde isiko elidala lokuba nezihlobo, eliwumgogodla womphakathi ezizweni eziningi. Ngokuvamile ingane ngeke inganakekelwa uma ihlala nabesizwe sayo, ngisho noma abazali befa. Ngaphandle kwamalungu omkhaya aseduze, njengogogo nomkhulu, izihlobo ezingobabekazi nomalume ziyobheka ingane njengengane yazo, futhi noma iliphi ilungiselelo lokuba ingane itholwe abantu bangaphandle lingaqondwa kabi futhi libhekwe njengokugxambukela okungamukeleki.a

Ukuhlela ukuba nengane yokutholwa akulula, futhi ngisho nalapho sekuphothuliwe, kudingeka ukuzikhandla ukuze kuphumelele. Kodwa njengoba sizobona, kukhona nezinjabulo ezinkulu.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 5]

Ingabe Indodana Yami lyongifuna?

ABAZALI bami bahlukanisa lapho ngineminyaka engu-11 ubudala. Ngangiludinga kakhulu uthando. Lapho ngisekolishi, ngathandana nothile; kwakuyindlela yokuthola uthando. Khona-ke ngadumala lapho ngithola ukuthi ngangikhulelwe. Kwakuyinto ewubuwula kakhulu. Mina nomfundi engangifunda naye sasingavuthiwe neze. Ngangingakaze ngisebenzise izidakamizwa, utshwala, noma ugwayi, kodwa isoka lami lalikhinyabezwe i-LSD elake layisebenzisa.

Ngalulekwa ukuba ngikhiphe isisu, kodwa ubaba wathi ngingasikhiphi. Ngangingakufuni ukukhuleIwa, kodwa futhi ngangingafuni ukubulala ukuphila. Lapho indodana yami izalwa ngo-1978, nganquma ukungalifaki igama likayise esitifiketini sayo sokuzaIwa ukuze ngiqiniseke ukuthi uyise wayengeke ayithole. Eqinisweni, ngavuma ukuba lomntwana abe ngowokutholwa lapho ezalwa; ngakho wathathwa kimi zisuka nje futhi wayiswa esikhungweni sokunakekelwa okwesikhashana. Angizange ngimbone ngisho nokumbona. Kodwa kamuva ngashintsha umqondo. Ngamthatha umntanami esikhungweni sokunakekelwa futhi ngazama kanzima ukuzikhulisela yena. Kodwa angikwazanga, futhi ngacishe ngaba nesifo sokuphazamiseka kwemizwa.

Indodana yami yayinezinyanga ezingaba yisithupha lapho kuphuma isiqondiso sokuba ibe umntwana wokutholwa futhi kwadingeka ngiyinikele. Ngikhumbula ngizizwa sengathi othile wayengigwaze ngommese. Ngafelwa yizwe. Ngiye ngakwazi ukwakha ubungane obakhayo kusukela ngathola usizo Iwezobuchwepheshe phakathi neminyaka emibili edlule. Ngangingenakudabuka—indodana yami yayingafile. Kodwa futhi ngangingakwazi ukucabanga ngayo—ngangingafuni ukwenza kanjalo. Kwakwesabisa.

Okubuhlungu nakakhulu ukuzwa abantu bethi: “Uma unikela ngengane yakho ukuba ibe ngeyokutholwa, awuyithandi.” Kodwa kwakungenjalo kimi! Nganikela ngendodana yami ngoba ngiyithanda! Kuze kube semzuzwini wokugcina, ngangizibuza: ‘Ngizothathani ngihlanganise nani? Yini engingayenza?’ Lalingekho ikhambi. Ngangazi ukuthi ngangingenakubhekana nalesi simo nokuthi umntanami wayeyohlupheka ukuba ngazama ukumgcina.

ENgilandi, umphakathi sewuyayemukela imikhaya enomzali oyedwa—kodwa kwakungenjalo lapho ngibeletha. Ngifisa sengathi ngabe ngayinakekela ngokufanele indodana yami. Ngicabanga ukuthi iseluleko engiye ngasithola muva nje sasizosebenza, kodwa manje sekwephuze kakhulu. Ingabe isaphila indodana yami? Ingabe isikhule yaba umfana onjani? Lapho sezineminyaka engu-18 ubudala, izingane zokutholwa zinemvume engokomthetho yokufuna abazali bazo. Ngivame ukuzibuza ukuthi ngeke yini ingifune indodana yami.—Inikelwe.

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Kwaphumelela Kithi

NJENGOBA sasinezingane ezimbili ezingabafana, sasingumkhaya wamaNgisi owanelisekile, obumbene. Umcabango wokuba nendodakazi—yohlanga oluhlukile—sasingakaze sibe nawo. Khona-ke kwafika uCathy. UCathy wazalelwa eLondon, eNgilandi. Wakhuliswa njengomRoma Katolika, kodwa lapho esemncane, wayeya nonina emihlanganweni embalwa eHholo LoMbuso loFakazi BakaJehova. Nokho, lapho eneminyaka eyishumi ubudala, wayiswa ekhaya lokunakekela izingane.

Nakuba izinto zazingamhambeli kahle neze lapho, wayesakwazi ukuya yedwa emihlanganweni eHholo LoMbuso, lapho sahlangana naye khona. UCathy wayeyintombazane enengqondo. Lapho mina nomkami simvakashela ekhaya lokunakekela izingane, saqaphela ukuthi udonga olungasembhedeni wakhe Iwalunezithombe zezilwane nemifanekiso yasemaphandleni, ngokungafani nezithombe zosaziwayo bomculo wokuqhashaqhasha amanye amantombazane ayezichome ezindongeni.

Esikhathini esithile kamuva uCathy kwadingeka avele phambi kwekomiti yokucubungula, eyambuza ukuthi wayengathanda yini ukuhamba kuleli khaya futhi ayohlala nomkhaya othile. Waphendula: “Ngingahlala kuphela nomkhaya woFakazi BakaJehova!” Lapho uCathy esitshela ngalokhu nalokho akusho, kwasenza sacabanga ngakho. Sasinekamelo elingasebenzi. Ingabe sasingawusingatha lomthwalo wemfanelo? Njengomkhaya, saxoxa futhi sathandaza ngakho. Sathola kamuva ukuthi lena kwakuyindlela entsha—ukucela umbono wengane—eyayisetshenziswa abezenhlalakahle, inqubo eyayisahlolwa ngaleso sikhathi.

Abezenhlalakahle babuza ngathi emaphoyiseni nakudokotela wethu base bethola imininingwane ngathi. Ngokushesha kwenziwa isivumelwano. Satshelwa ukuthi sasingamthatha uCathy okwesikhashana futhi simbuyise uma singamthandi! Lokhu kwasesabisa, futhi sasiqiniseka ngempela ukuthi sasingasoze sikwenze lokho. UCathy wayeneminyaka engu-13 ubudala lapho simamukela ekhaya ngokomthetho.

Isibopho sothando esiyingqayizivele phakathi kwethu sonke siyaqhubeka siqina. UCathy usekhonza njengephayona (umshumayeli wesikhathi esigcwele) nebandla lesiFulentshi loFakazi BakaJehova enyakatho yeLondon. Ngonyaka ahamba ngawo ekhaya eyophayona, wasibhalela incwadi ethinta inhliziyo: “Kunesisho esithi ‘ngeke uzikhethele umkhaya wakini.’ Nokho, ngithanda ukunibonga ngokusuka enhliziyweni ngokungikhetha.”

Sibonga kakhulu ngokuthi kwafika uCathy! Ukumenza ingxenye yomkhaya wethu kwasicebisa ekuphileni. Kwaphumelela kithi!—Inikelwe.

[Isithombe]

UCathy nabazali bakhe bokutholwa nabafowabo

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Izingane eziningi zidinga uthando olungokomzwelo nesivikelo sabazali