Ukuphila Kwasemshadweni—Ukukwenza Kujabulise Ngokwengeziwe

Yini engenza ukuba umshado ube yimpumelelo?

Isiqondiso sikabani esingaholela enjabulweni yasemshadweni?

Zingaxazululwa kanjani izinkinga zokukhulumisana?

BETHONYWE yizincwadi ababezifunda ngenkululeko yabesifazane, uYasuhiro nentombi yakhe, uKayoko, baqala ukuhlala ndawonye, becabanga ukuthi bangahlukana noma nini. Kwakungemva kokukhulelwa kukaKayoko kuphela lapho bashada khona ngokomthetho. Nokho, uYasuhiro waqhubeka nokungabaza ilungiselelo lomkhaya. Lapho kuqala kuvela izinkinga zezimali nomuzwa wokungafanelani, akukho okwakungabavimbela ekufakeni isehlukaniso.

Esikhathini esithile ngemva kokwehlukana kwabo, bengazi lutho ngomunye nomunye, bobabili uYasuhiro noKayoko baqala ukutadisha iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova. Ngemva kwesikhathi esithile, ngamunye wakwazi lokhu futhi bazibona izinguquko ezazenziwe ekuphileni komunye nomunye ngokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli. Banquma ukuphinde bashade. Manje, benombono wokwesaba uNkulunkulu ngomshado, bazimisele ukuzidela ukuze baxazulule izinkinga zabo.

Yini eyenza ukuba umshado wabo wesibili uphumelele? Kwakuyinhlonipho yabo ngoMsunguli womshado. (Genesise 2:18-24) Isiqondiso esinikezwa umeluleki womshado onokuhlangenwe nakho okukwedlula konke, uJehova uNkulunkulu, siyisihluthulelo esivula umnyango oholela enjabulweni yomshado.

Isihluthulelo Senjabulo Yasemshadweni

Izinkinga zomshado zingaxazululwa futhi imishado ilondolozwe lapho bobabili abangane bomshado besebenzisa lokho uJesu Kristu akusho: “Woyithanda iNkosi uNkulunkulu wakho ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho, nangawo wonke umphefumulo wakho, nangayo yonke ingqondo yakho. Yilowo umyalo omkhulu nowokuqala. Owesibili ofana nawo uthi: Wothanda umakhelwane wakho njengalokhu uzithanda wena.” (Mathewu 22:37-39) Lesi isihluthulelo senjabulo yasemshadweni. Bobabili indoda nomkayo kumelwe bathande uJehova ngaphambi kokuba bazithande ngokwabo noma bathande omunye nomunye. Lobuhlobo bungafaniswa nentambo enemicu emithathu. “Nakuba umuntu ahlula oyedwa, ababili bayakuma phambi kwakhe, nentambo emicu-mithathu ayisheshi ukugqashuka.”—UmShumayeli 4:12.

Njengoba ukuthanda uNkulunkulu kusho ukugcina imiyalo yakhe, indoda nomkayo kumelwe benze imithetho nezimiso zakhe zokuziphatha kobuntu kuze kuqala ekuphileni kwabo. Ngokwenza kanjalo benza intambo emicu-mithathu emucu wayo oqine kunayo yonke uwuthando lwabo ngoJehova. “Nemiyalo yakhe ayinzima,” kusho eyoku-1 Johane 5:3.

Lokhu kuholela ekubhekeni umshado njengelungiselelo elihlala njalo. (Malaki 2:16) Unesisekelo esinjalo emshadweni wawo, umbhangqwana uyoshukunyiselwa ukuba uxazulule izinkinga zomshado kunokuba uhluleke ukubhekana nezinkinga ngokuthola isehlukaniso.

Ukubonisa Uthando Ngomakhelwane Wakho Oseduze Kakhulu

Ukuze ube nesibopho esihlala njalo nomngane wakho womshado, kumelwe ukhulise uthando lwakho ngaye, umakhelwane wakho oseduze kakhulu. Loluthando kumelwe lungabi nabugovu. Phawula indlela iBhayibheli elisikhuthaza ngayo lesimiso: “[Yibani nothando] lunye, nibe-nhliziyonye, niqonde into inye; ningenzi-lutho ngombango nangodumo lwezwe; kepha ngokuthobeka nishaye sengathi abanye bakhulu kunani, yilowo nalowo angabheki okwakhe, kepha yilowo abheke nokwabanye.”—Filipi 2:2-4.

Kuyavunywa, kunzima ukungenzi lutho ngombango nangokuzazisa kulelizwe elinobugovu. Lapho umngane wakho womshado engathathi isinyathelo kuqala ekuboniseni uthando, ukungabi nabugovu kunzima ngisho nangokwengeziwe; kodwa ngokwembatha ukuthobeka, ubheka umngane wakho womshado njengomkhulu kunawe, uyokuthola kulula ukucabangela izithakazelo zakhe. IBhayibheli lisiyala ukuba sibe nesimo sengqondo esifana naleso uKristu Jesu ayenaso. Wayengumuntu womoya onamandla, kodwa ‘wathatha isimo senceku,’ waba umuntu. Akukhona lokho kuphela, kodwa lapho esemhlabeni, “wazithobisa, elalela kwaze kwaba sekufeni,” okwazuzisa ngisho nabantu ababengamthandi. (Filipi 2:5-8) Ngokubonisa lesimo sengqondo, uJesu wazuza izinhliziyo zabaphikisi abaningi, futhi ngokulingisa uJesu, benza kanjalo nabafundi bakhe. (IzEnzo 6:7; 9:1, 2, 17, 18) Nawe ungenza okufanayo. Ngokubheka umngane wakho womshado njengomkhulu kunawe futhi ubheke izithakazelo zakhe zomuntu siqu, kancane kancane ungase uzuze inhliziyo yakhe.

Nokho, ukubheka umngane wakho womshado njengomkhulu akusho ukuba umfazi abushaye indiva ubushiqela bendoda, njengoba kuye kwaba njalo eMpumalanga. Bobabili indoda nomfazi kumelwe babheke omunye nomunye njengomkhulu ngokuthi ngamunye azimisele ukuzidela ngenxa yomunye. Lapho umbhangqwana uxazulula izinkinga zawo ngalokuthobeka, ubonisana isithakazelo esingenabugovu, futhi ulandele iseluleko saphezulu, uyophumelela ekuxazululeni izinkinga zawo. Manje ake sicabangele ezinye zezeluleko zikaNkulunkulu.

“Umbhede Ungabi-Nasisihla”

UJehova, owasungula ilungiselelo lomshado, unesimiso esingaguquki ngobuhlobo obufanele phakathi kwendoda nomkayo. Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi kwakufanele yini ngendoda ukulahla umkayo nganoma yisiphi isizathu, uJesu Kristu wathi: “Lokho akuhlanganisileyo uNkulunkulu, umuntu makangakwahlukanisi.” Wabonisa ukuthi kunesisekelo esisodwa kuphela esingokomthetho sesehlukaniso nokuphinde ushade ngokusho lokhu ngokuqhubekayo: “Ngithi kini: Yilowo nalowo olahla umkakhe kungengokuphinga, aganwe ngomunye, uyaphinga.”—Mathewu 19:3-9.

Ubulili bangaphandle komshado, ngisho noma benziwa egameni lothando, abulona neze uthando, kubo bobabili ababuhlanganyelayo. Indoda ethile enkabeni yeJapane yayishendeza nabesifazane abaningana. Umkayo waba nezinsolo futhi wakhungatheka. Umshado wabo wabhekana nesimo esibucayi. Khona-ke kwafika usuku lapho omunye wezithandwa zakhe ayeshendeza nazo amtshela ukuthi wayezobudalula ubuhlobo babo kumkakhe futhi wamphoqelela ukuba amshade. Ngokuzisola uyakhumbula: “Ubuhlobo obunjalo abujabulisi muntu.” Waphuma kulolubishi kuphela ngemva kokulimaza wonke umuntu ohilelekile. Indinganiso yeBhayibheli ayiligudli iguma kulendaba. “Ukuganana makuhlonishwe yibo bonke‚ umbhede ungabi-nasisihla‚ ngokuba izifebe neziphingi uNkulunkulu uyakuzahlulela.” (Heberu 13:4) Ngokugcina lomyalo, umuntu ugwema izifo ezithathelwana ngobulili, izinkinga zomshado, nokucindezeleka okubangelwa uthando lwasekhwapheni.

Madoda, Thandani Futhi Nazise Omkenu

UNkulunkulu uye wahlela futhi isimiso sobunhloko emkhayeni. “Abafazi mabathobele amadoda abo kungathi kukuyo iNkosi‚ ngokuba indoda iyinhloko yomfazi‚ njengokuba noKristu uyinhloko yebandla‚” kusho eyabase-Efesu 5:22, 23. Ukusebenzisa leseluleko akulula. “Kwakuyinselele enkulu kakhulu kimi,” kuvuma uShoko, owayekade egabadela ilungelo lomyeni wakhe lokwenza izinqumo zokugcina. Ecabanga ukuthi indoda kufanele ithenge indlu lapho isiphokophelele eminyakeni yawo-30, waphoqelela umyeni wakhe ukuba athenge enye ayeseyitholile kakade. Nokho, lapho efunda izimiso zeBhayibheli ezihilelekile, waqala ukuba nombono ohlukile ngomyeni wakhe. Okwakubonakala kuwubuntu bokuyekelela nokungaqini, lapho kubhekwa ngendlela efanele, kwakuwukuqonda, ukuthobeka nobumnene.

Lesimiso sidinga ukuba amadoda aqaphele ukuthi angaphansi kwegunya eliphakeme likaKristu Jesu. (1 Korinte 11:3) Njengoba ingaphansi kwegunya likaKristu, indoda kufanele ithande futhi yazise umkayo ngendlela efanayo uJesu athanda ngayo abalandeli bakhe. (Efesu 5:28-30) Ngakho, indoda engumKristu iyoyicabangela ngokujulile imizwa, izifiso, kanye nokulinganiselwa komkayo ngaphambi kokuba yenze izinqumo.

“Kuyolisiwe Ngosawoti”

UHisako wayenezinkinga zokukhulumisana nomyeni wakhe. Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ezama ukuxoxa okuthile naye, umyeni wakhe wayemane agweme ingxoxo ngokuthi: “Yenza ngendlela othanda ngayo.” UHisako uyakhumbula: “Ngicabanga ukuthi ukuntula kwami ubumnene kwakuyimbangela yenkinga yethu. Kwakungase kube ngcono ukuba ngangingakhulumi ngokhahlo.” Namuhla, yena nomyeni wakhe bangaxoxa ngezindaba ezithile ngenjabulo. Lolushintsho luye lwabonakala selokhu uHisako asebenzisa iseluleko esilandelayo: “Ukukhuluma kwenu makube-nomusa njalo‚ kuyolisiwe ngosawoti‚ ukuze nazi enifanele ukubaphendula ngakho bonke abantu.” (Kolose 4:6) Njengoba ukudla okuyoliswe ngosawoti kunambitheka ngokwengeziwe, amazwi acatshangelwe kahle akhulunywa ngendlela enomusa amukeleka kalula. (IzAga 15:1) Eqinisweni, ukungezwani kwasemshadweni kungavinjelwa ngokuvamile ngokumane nibe ngabacabangelayo endleleni enikhuluma ngayo.

Yebo, ukuthanda uJehova uNkulunkulu nokuhlonipha izimiso zakhe kuyasebenza ngempela. Uthando ngoJehova lunishukumisela ukuba nibheke umshado wenu njengesibopho esihlala njalo futhi lunisiza ukuba nizimisele ukuwulondoloza. UNkulunkulu uye wanikeza iziqondiso ezinengqondo eziyonisiza ukuba nibhekane nakho konke ukungezwani kwasemshadweni futhi nixazulule izinkinga zenu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zibonakala zinkulu kangakanani. Cha, ezikhathini eziningi isehlukaniso asiwona umnyango oholela ekuphileni okujabulisa ngokwengeziwe, kodwa ukusetshenziswa kwezimiso zeBhayibheli kuyiwo. Ungawuvula lowomnyango ngokuhlakulela uthando lwakho ngoJehova. Kungani ungafundi okwengeziwe ngeseluleko sakhe encwadini yeziqondiso zemishado enegunya eliphakeme kunazo zonke, iBhayibheli?

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 9]

Lapho Kukhethwa Isehlukaniso

NAKUBA iBhayibheli lisivumela isehlukaniso nokuphinda ushade ngaphansi kombandela wobufebe, ukuphinga akubuqedi ngokuzenzekelayo ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Umngane womshado ongenacala unenkululeko yokuzikhethela ukuthi ufuna isehlukaniso noma cha.—Mathewu 19:9.

UYasuko wabhekana nalesinqumo. Umyeni wakhe wayeshendeza nomakhwapheni wakhe. Umamezala wakhe wayesola uYasuko futhi wathi: “Uwena oyimbangela yakho konke lokhu kuziphatha kwendodana yami.” UYasuko wayekhala kalusizi engaphezi. Abantu abaningi babemnikeza iseluleko, kodwa akekho owayelahla ukushendeza komyeni wakhe. Khona-ke, unina, owayeseqale ukufunda iBhayibheli, wamtshela: “EBhayibhelini, kuphawulwe ngokucacile ukuthi ukuphinga akulungile.” (1 Korinte 6:9) Kwamkhulula kakhulu uYasuko ukwazi ukuthi isekhona indinganiso yokuhle nokubi kulelizwe namuhla.

Manje uYasuko wayenokuzikhethela. Nakuba acabanga ukuhlukana nomyeni wakhe, wayekwazi ukubona ngemva kokufunda iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova ukuthi naye wayengayifezi ingxenye yakhe. Ngakho wanquma ukuhlola izimiso zeBhayibheli ekuxazululeni izinkinga zakhe. Waqala ukuzisebenzisa. (Efesu 5:21-23) “Kwakungelula,” uyakhumbula. “Ngangilokhu ngihluleka izikhathi eziningi. Ngangithandaza izikhathi eziningi kuJehova ngikhala.” Njengoba ayeshintsha, nomyeni wakhe kancane kancane washintsha. Eminyakeni emihlanu kamuva, umyeni wakhe wabunqamula bonke ubuhlobo nomakhwapheni wakhe. UYasuko uyaphetha: “Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ukulalela iZwi likaNkulunkulu kuyinzuzo ngempela.”

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 11]

Ukungavumelani Ngokobulili Nesehlukaniso

IMIBHANGQWANA eminingi ikhomba ukungavumelani ngokobulili njengesizathu sayo sesehlukaniso. Ikhomba lapho inkinga ikhona, incwadi ephathelene nelungiselelo lanamuhla lomkhaya eliguqukayo, enesihloko esithi Sekkushuaritii to Kazoku (Ubulili Nomkhaya), ithi: “Namuhla ilungiselelo lomshado lokushada nomfazi oyedwa nokwaziswa okuphathelene nobulili okugcwele izinkanuko zobulili akuhambisani. Inkindlane yokwaziswa okuphathelene nobulili iphendukezela iNkanuko Yobulili yabantu abashadile futhi ishabalalisa uthando oluvamile. Akukhona nje kuphela ukukhangisa ngobulili njengempahla yezentengiselwano kodwa amakhasethi e-video ezithombe zobulili ezingcolile nezincwadi zamahlaya okubukisa ngemizimba yabesifazane njengempahla yezentengiselwano okuphendukezela izinzwa nezinhliziyo zabantu. Ngakho, abafazi bahlushwa ubulili obuphoqelelwe [bamadoda abo], futhi amadoda anganakwa antula amandla ngokobulili.”

Izincwadi, ama-video, nezinhlelo ze-TV ezinokuziphatha okubi kuphendukezela ubulili. Azifundisi lokho okushiwo injabulo yangempela yomshado. Zibulala futhi ukuthembana indoda nomfazi okumelwe bakuhlakulele ukuze babe nomshado ophumelelayo. I-Psychology Today iyaphawula: “Ukuthembana kukwenza ukuba ukwazi ukubeka imizwa yakho ejulile nokwesaba entendeni yesandla somngane wakho womshado, wazi ukuthi kuyosingathwa ngokunakekela. Nakuba imizwa yothando noma injabulo yobulili ingase yande futhi inciphe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, okuhle kakhulu, ukwethembana akuguquki.”

Ubulili abusona isihluthulelo esiyinhloko ukuphila komshado okuphumelelayo okusekelwe kuso. Inkosikazi ethile eyadlula ezinkingeni zomshado ezinzima ithi: “Okwangikhuthaza kakhulu amazwi asencwadini ethi Ukwenza Ukuphila Komkhaya Wakho Kujabulise: ‘Eqinisweni, uma bonke obunye ubuhlobo emshadweni bubuhle, uma kunothando, inhlonipho, ukukhulumisana okuhle nokuqonda, khona-ke kuyoqabukela ubulili buyinkinga.’”a

Isici sangempela esihlanganisayo phakathi kwemibhangqwana akubona ubulili kodwa uthando. Ubulili ngaphandle kothando buyize, kodwa uthando lungazimela ngaphandle kwabo. Ngokubeka ubulili endaweni yabo, ungabenzi isisekelo sokuphila kwawo, umbhangqwana ungabujabulela ubungane bawo futhi uxazulule inkinga yokungavumelani ngokobulili.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 10]

Ukuhlonipha izimiso zeBhayibheli kuyosiza umbhangqwana ukuba ukhulumisane ngokukhululekile