Isikhathi Ongaqala Ngaso Nokuthi Ungasho Okungakanani
ABAZALI abaningi abaqotho kubonakala becabanga ukuthi imfundo yobulili ingasingathwa phakathi nengxoxo eyihlazo yamaqiniso ngobulili nokuzala esikhathini esiyimizuzu eyishumi sokuhambahamba ehlathini nengane yabo eneminyaka engu-13 ubudala. Kodwa ngokuvame kakhulu lokhu akubonakali nje kukuncane kakhulu kodwa kubonakala kwephuze ngeminyaka eminingi. Akukhona okungavamile ngomzali onothando ukuba athi: “Cishe yonke into engangizama ukubatshela yona, babebonakala sebeyazi kakade.”
Ingabe ikhona indlela engcono yokubafundisa ngalezindaba ezibalulekile? Uma ikhona, kufanele abazali baqale nini, futhi yini abangayenza futhi bayisho?
Cishe kusukela ekuzalweni komntwana, kuhlakaniphile ukuba uqale ukubeka isisekelo sokudlulisela lemfundo ebalulekile. Uma uqala lapho ingane isencane, ungadlulisela lokhu kwaziswa ngomoya ophansi, okulingene ukuqonda kwengane ngesikhathi futhi okuhambisana nekhono lengane yakho lokuzuza.
Lapho abazali begeza imizimba yabantwana babo, bangase babafundise ngezitho zabo zomzimba: “Lesi isifuba sakho . . . isisu . . . idolo.” Kungani weqa usuka esiswini uye edolweni? Ingabe lokhu okuphakathi nendawo kuyihlazo? Noma ingabe kumane nje kuyinto yangasese? Njengokulindelekile, asinakusebenzisa amagama angahloniphekile asemgwaqweni kulezingxenye zangasese. Kodwa kungani ungamane nje uthi “umpipi” noma “imomozi”? Lezi nazo ziyingxenye yendalo uNkulunkulu ayibiza ngokuthi “[kwaku]kuhle kakhulu.”—Genesise 1:31; 1 Korinte 12:21-24.
Kamuva, mhlawumbe lapho ingane ibona kushintshwa inabukeni, ungasho nje ngendlela ehloniphekile ukuthi abafana banompipi futhi amantombazane anemomozi. Ungachaza nje ngesizotha ukuthi lezizinto ezakhe yedwa. Izinto okumelwe kukhulunywe ngazo emkhayeni kuphela, hhayi nezinye izingane noma nabantu abangebona abomkhaya.
Ngaleyondlela, ungachaza izinto eziningi ngaphambi kokuba zibe ngezibanga amahloni, uqale ngesikhathi futhi uye uqhubeka njalo njengoba ikhono lengane lokuqonda likhula.
Ukuchaza Ukuzala
Lapho isineminyaka emithathu kuya kwemihlanu ubudala,a ingane ingase iqale ukuzibuza ngokuzala futhi ingabuza: “Abantwana bavelaphi?” Ungase nje uphendule kalula: “Wakhulela endaweni efudumele, nelondekile ngaphakathi kukamama.” Lokhu ngokunokwenzeka kuyoyanelisa okwangalesosikhathi. Kamuva ingane ingase ibuze: “Umntwana uphuma kanjani?” Ungase uphendule uthi: “UNkulunkulu wenza imbobo ekhethekile yokuba umntwana aphume kuyo.” Ingqondo yengane iyashesha ukuzula, ngakho izimpendulo ezingcono kakhulu ezilula nezishaya emhloleni. Nikeza ukwaziswa okudingekayo okuncane ngesikhathi, okunye okwengeziwe ukugcinele isikhathi sakamuva.
Uma abazali beqaphile, bangathola amathuba amaningi okufundisa. Uma isihlobo esiseduze silindele ukubeletha umntwana, umama angathi: “UMam’ ncane uSusan cishe uzothola umntwana kungekudala—nami ngangilingana naye emasontweni ambalwa ngaphambi kokuba uzalwe.” Ukuzalwa komfowabo noma udadewabo omncane okulindelwe kunganikeza izinyanga zemfundo ejabulisayo nevusa amadlingozi.
Kamuva ingane ingabuza: “Umntwana waqala kanjani?” Impendulo elula iwukuthi: “Imbewu ephuma kubaba ihlangana nengqamuzana yeqanda ekumama bese umntwana eqala ukukhula, njengoba nje nembewu esenhlabathini ingakhula ibe imbali noma isihlahla.” Ngesinye isikhathi ingase ibuze: “Imbewu kababa ingena kanjani kumama?” Ungase uthi, ngendlela ehloniphekile: “Uyazi ukuthi umfana wakheke kanjani. Unompimpi. Umama unembobo emzimbeni wakhe umpipi ongena kuyo, bese imbewu itshaleka. UNkulunkulu wasenza ngalendlela ukuze abantwana bakhulele endaweni enhle, efudumele kuze kube yilapho sebebadala ngokwanele ukuba baziphilele. Ngemva kwalokho kuzalwa umntwana omusha omuhle!” Ungakhuluma ngomoya wokumangala ngendlela emangalisayo uNkulunkulu azihlela ngayo lezinto.b
Kufanele uqaphele ukuba ungalokothi uhlehlise imibuzo ngokuba namahloni bese uthi: “Ngiyobuye ngikutshele lapho usumdala ngokwanele.” Lokhu kungandisa ilukuluku labantwana lokufuna ukwazi futhi kungaze ngisho kubashukumisele ukuba bafune ukwaziswa kweminye imithombo engafanele. Ingane esindala ngokwanele ukuba ibuze umbuzo indala ngokwanele ukuba ithole impendulo elula nehloniphekile. Ukwehluleka ukuyithola kungabadumaza abantwana bakho ukuba baphinde babheke kuwe uma befuna ukwaziswa.
Ngokushesha Kangakanani?
Abazali abaningi banomuzwa wokuthi izingane zabo kufanele zibe nokuqonda okuyisisekelo kwalezizinto okungenani ngaphambi kokuba ziqale isikole, lapho okungenzeka khona ukuba zizwe ukwaziswa okungaqondile okuvela kwezinye izingane.
Omunye umkhulu wachaza: “Ngangingazange ngibuze mbuzo, kodwa lapho ngineminyaka eyisithupha, ubaba wanquma ukuthi kwase kuyisikhathi sokuchaza ukuthi abantwana bavelaphi. Wathi ukuhlangana okungokobulili kwendoda nowesifazane okwakungase kuveze umntwana kwakungokwemvelo nje njengokudla ukudla, kodwa uNkulunkulu wathi lokhu kungokwabantu abashadile kuphela. Ngaleyondlela, kwakuyoba khona umama nobaba ababezothanda lomntwana futhi bamnakekele.” Lomkhulu wanezela: “Incazelo ayinikeza yayifike ngaso kanye isikhathi. Kakade ngase ngike ngabona izingane ezineminyaka eyisithupha ubudala zihleka izithombe zokuziphatha okubi ezazizidwebile mina engangingaziqondi.”
Njengokulindelekile, izincazelo ezinjalo kufanele zingashiwo njengokuthile okuyihlazo, kodwa njengokuthile okungokwangasese. Ungakuphindaphinda ukuthi kuyimfihlo yomkhaya okungafanele ishiwo kwezinye izingane noma abantu abangebona abomkhaya. Uma umntanakho ephambuka kulokhu, ngomoya omnene ungase uthi: “Shhh! Khumbula, ukuthi leyo imfihlo yethu. Sikhuluma ngakho emkhayeni kuphela.”
Akwethusi
Uma isidingo sokuba nalengxoxo sethusa noma imuphi umfundi walomagazini, cabanga nje ukuthi baningi kangakanani abazali abasebancane abaqotho abafuna indlela ehloniphekile yokuchaza lezindaba kubantwana babo. Ingabe izincazelo ezingagwegwesi ezinikezwa ekhaya elinothando azingcono kakhulu kunendlela abazali abaningi abaqala ukuzwa ngayo ngalezizinto, emithonjeni engcolile engaphandle komkhaya?
Uma ulalelisisa ngempela futhi uphendula imibuzo ngendlela elula nehloniphekile, uyokwenza kube lula kakhulu ngezingane zakho ukuba zize kuwe zizobuza neminye imibuzo njengoba iminyaka iqhubeka futhi isidingo sazo sokuthola ukwaziswa sikhula.
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Ingane ngayinye ihlukile. Ngakho, noma ikuphi ukubhekisela eminyakeni kulezihloko kumane nje kuyasetshenziswa, ukuze kuboniswe ukuthuthuka kwalokhu kufundisa.
b Incwadi ethi Ukwenza Ukuphila Komkhaya Wakho Kujabulise ikhuluma ngalokhu nangezinye izici eziningi zokukhulisa umntwana ngokokuziphatha kanye nokuphila komkhaya. Ungayicela kubantu abakulethele lomagazini noma kubashicileli bayo emakhelini atholakala ekhasini 5.
[Isithombe ekhasini 6]
Ukuzalwa komntwana okusondelayo kunikeza ithuba lemfundo ezuzisayo